Non Christian wife

[JustinFromTwinCities]

I praise God for my non Christian wife (she would pray with me and allow me to speak about Christ until we got married), nothing has given me more opportunity to conform myself to Christ than her. I have three children and none of them have my last name, one she gave up for adoption without me knowing, another she gave to her ex-boyfriend who is a Jehovah Witness (this alone has caused me years of serious gut wrenching depression, but I have overcome and am even able to love this man who worked to take my child now). She is impossible to talk to and flips out so crazily if I try to talk about anything (she literally forces me to shut my mouth and submit to her or all hell will break lose, our stuff will be destroyed, police will be called, my daughter will cry, you name it it happens - huge rage issues). She doesn't let me use our car, she caused me to lose 3 jobs, she will turn off the radio if i listen to Christian things, she has stolen my money while I sleep to go on shopping sprees, she threatens to take my daughter away for good if she doesn't get her way, she has hit me on many occasions, she would take my phone from me before she left so that I could not communicate with anyone, she has convinced her family that I am a loser (even though I can't work because of her lol), our rent payment was only $50 dollars a month and she would always blow through tremendous amounts of money to the point that I had to borrow money from family or sell my things to pay our measly bills (a few months ago we got $2500 and she blew it in two weeks and we couldn't even pay rent that month, I mean I could literally go on and on for years talking about the extremely ridiculous things which she has done and continues to do. But, I consider it an amazing blessing to be given the circumstances necessary to teach me to love as God loves. You have no idea lol, I'm so un-phased by anything that could possibly be thrown at me. I can love anyone and thats the whole point, that's what we strive for. To be conformed to Christ. We are refined by fire, not cool waters!

Indeed, the reason why I am so thankful is because I prayed for fire all my life, I prayed for hard ship, I prayed to be shaken to my core until there was nothing left of me, just Christ. And God has certainly heard and answered those prayers!

 

[JustinFromTwinCities]

Oh and I want to mention this also: When I was younger I also promised God my firstborn son, don't ask me why but I always did. I told Him that my son would be His. Anyways, my first born son (who was given to the man who is a Jehovah Witness) was named Dominic. Which means "Belongs to the Lord". I had no part in naming him. People often pray for good things, for easy things, for comfort and healing. That is good and it has it's place but there is something amazing that occurs when we are at our weakest, when we are forced to trust in God because we have nothing else. I still see my son and even more often these days, he knows I am his father but until my wife decides to be a mother I am not going to be in his life on a daily basis.

 

[Jackson123]

Keep pray and love them brother. That all we can do.

 

[Angela53510]

I think you are really on the wrong track. You have a seriously abusive wife, and it is NOT godly to put up with this. To say nothing of her giving away your children???

From your description, your wife seems to have undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and maybe a personality disorder. She needs help, as regardless of your "supposed" spiritual growth, your wife is suffering terribly.

I would try to get her into see a doctor, and a psychiatrist. But if not, and she continues this horrific abuse, you seriously need to leave her. If you were a woman, I would tell you to get out today. In fact, I think I will tell you to get out today, too!

Abuse in marriage is SO unscriptural, whether it be the man or the wife that is being abused. And you are hurting your wife by letting her continue to be so angry, a thief, liar, and a user.

God has a plan for marriage and it is like Christ's relationship with the church. It is based on mutual submission, love and trust and respect. You have NONE of that in your marriage. Read Eph. 5, and don't focus on what a wonderful job you are doing of loving your wife. Read the whole passage. The wife is half the marriage, and your wife is so far from any sort of loving wife, secular or Christian, that she has totally missed the entire boat.

Unconditional love does not mean abuse. God wants you to live a life where you can be of service to him. Just the fact that she has done everything in her power to keep you from Christ, tells me this is either mental illness, and/or demonic.

Do you really think God wants you to be married to a mentally ill or demon possessed woman? I believe in suffering building character, but this is far beyond that, and into masochism.

Please get some counseling for yourself, your wife if possible. Go to an abuse center. They take men as well as women, and they will show you the cycle of abuse, and how this woman is selfish and soul destroying.

Sorry, I just can't go with the line that "her ugliness makes you into a better person." She is making you into a door mat.

Praying you get the help for yourself you so desperately need.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Man if this account is true as you say it, then may Jesus love you abundantly. You are certainly more manly than the most of the men in America, yea, even in this world, for staying with and suffering this woman.

 

[GuessWho]

I agree with everything Angela said.

I would also add that resignation is not the same thing with love.

 

[VioletReigns]

Two things spring right out at me.

No. 1 - You posted of your wife:
1. She is impossible to talk to
2. She flips out so crazily
3. She literally forces me to shut my mouth and submit to her or all hell will break lose
4. She destroys my stuff and calls the police
5. She has huge rage issues
6. She doesn't let me use our car,
7. She caused me to lose 3 jobs,
8. She will turn off the radio if I listen to Christian things
9. She has stolen my money while I sleep to go on shopping sprees
10. She threatens to take my daughter away for good if she doesn't get her way
11. She has hit me on many occasions
12. She would take my phone from me before she left
13. She convinced her family that I am a loser
14. She would always blow through tremendous amounts of money
15. She would sell my things to pay our measly bills
16. I could literally go on and on talking about the extremely ridiculous things, which she has done and continues to do.

No. 2 - You posted of yourself:
1. I'm so un-phased by anything that could possibly be thrown at me.
2. I can love anyone
3. I am so thankful
4. I prayed for fire all my life
5. I prayed for hard ship
6. I prayed to be shaken to my core
7. I promised God my firstborn

Brother Justin, to post an extensive list of your wife’s offenses does not exhibit love for her nor forgiveness. (Read I Corinthians, chapter 13 about CHRIST's kind of love) Rather, you are making her out to be 100% the sinner in this situation and you 100% the saint. I am not saying your circumstances are not genuine, beloved brother. I am saying that if in fact, you are doing all of this for the LORD and if in fact, you are glad to remain in suffering and if in fact, you truly love your wife as Christ loves the church, why are you telling the world that you are happy that your wife is a lost sinner who has little worth? Can you see the truth of that, Justin?

Also, you say that GOD is doing all of this to your life because you asked HIM to. Do you genuinely believe GOD is controlled by our will and our purposes? You say that GOD answered your prayer to take away your son, to allow your wife to remain lost, to put you in a refining fire and to give you a life of hardship. Do you really think that GOD would answer prayers that are “asked amiss”, as the WORD reads? Asking amiss is asking for things from GOD with a wrong motive, things not in line with the LORD’s will.

It is not GOD's will that we remain in a situation and do nothing when HE has made many ways of escape from abuse in the home. You can go to the counsel of your church for intervention. You could go to the court and request that your wife get mandatory counseling and/or anger management. You or she should leave the home to see if things get better or not. There are TONS of support groups and services online. Google them, dear brother.

Honestly, this is a heartbreaking testimony and I am saddened for all of you. If you were my son, I'd be in tears of grief that you would allow yourself to be mistreated like this. I’m so sorry you were led to believe that GOD is that harsh and militant, son. I absolutely recommend you get godly counseling ASAP for your sake and the sake of all your family. This is not a healthy situation, Justin and I am certain your children are being damaged by all this chaos.

I pray to GOD your eyes are open, Brother Justin and you receive the wisdom and grace of JESUS CHRIST that you may live the abundant life in CHRIST. May your whole life be renewed and your whole house in the power and the name of JESUS CHRIST our merciful and faithful LORD. ♥

 

[presidente]

Legally, can a woman adopt out your child if you are the father and you aren't married and you don't agree? I don't know about this area of law, but that's kind of shocking to me. Can you go to the courts and get the children back?

I wonder if you have this idea that being Christ-like means being beaten up on the cross all the time. Jesus did suffer. Those who tortured Him were the law and those acting under it. But He also stood up to opposition quite a bit. If His disciples were out of line, He straightened them out. It doesn't sound like they were dong this kind of stuff, aside from Judas who stole money from the box and betrayed Jesus. But He addressed disciples squabbling over Who would be the greatest. He said, "Get thee behind me Satan" when Peter tried to convince Him that He wouldn't go to the cross. Jesus said, "Ye call me Master and Lord, and ye do well, for so I am."

Part of being like Jesus is providing leadership and standing up to opposition as well. It's not only about dying on a cross. II Peter 2 does give the example of Christ's sufferings to slaves suffering from their masters. But in that case, the master is the person in authority, just as Jesus suffered from the governing authorities, the Sanhedrin and the Romans.

I know everything she doesn't isn't under your power and control, but it might help if you have a vision in mind that you are to lead her to stop doing this stuff. It might mean standing up to her. If she's threatening to take your child, you can document her behavior as well. If she hits you, maybe you could take a course in restraint that law enforcement officials take to learn to prevent any injury from taking place on either side. You may also have to hide money and control it. You have to figure out a way somehow to work to support the family, too.

Don't let life happen around you and just go with the flow. Form and shape what happens in your life. God gave man dominion over the earth to subdue it. Believers also have God's grace to help them do God's will.

 

[JustinFromTwinCities]

Yes, I believe God does answer our prayers when they are prayed in faith, truth and out of love.

What is it God desires from us, what was it that He came to teach us?

The law told us not to sin, don't do this don't do that. But the law was far from perfect as it did nothing at all to make us mature spiritual beings, it only pointed out how far from God and perfection we truly were. Now, was the law abolished ? No the law still stands, but Jesus gave us a much greater law and it is summed up in this: To love God and to love people.

When we become born of Spirit, we begin to be conformed internally to Christ. As maturity develops, the law has no purpose to us, it becomes trivial. Where the law says "Do not steal", Christ says "Give without expecting in return". Where the law tells us "Do not murder" Christ tells us "Lay down your life for others".

Love is our goal. It is what we should desire more than any other quality. True Love is the greatest fruit of the Spirit and the most impossible task for an unbeliever. True love (even towards one who could be considered an "enemy") does not make the slightest bit of sense from a worldly perspective. Without a faith in God, that He not only exists but that He is exactly who He says He is in the Bible - why would anyone practice self sacrifice in a world of self seeking? It would be an early end, it would be poverty, it would be to become a doormat with no end in sight. If God did not exist and we were simply here by chance, than the only law I would follow is survival of the fittest and I can only imagine the depths of depravity I would be capable of. But it would make sense from a purely worldly perspective.

To further this point I will give an example from the early church as recorded in Acts.

Acts 2:44 "44And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; 45and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need46Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,…. "

Acts 4:34 "for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold,"

And from Matthew 19:21 "Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.""

And Matthew 5:38 "38"You have heard that it was said, 'AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.'39"But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40"If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.…"

What possible sense would this make to an unbeliever? None, it would be foolishness. Such reckless self sacrifice would endanger the lives and prosperity of all who practiced it and be contrary to any worldly wisdom.

So, when I prayed to be made like Christ at any cost, to be pleasing and a mature "man of God". I completely believe He heard me and began me down a path which would accomplish this. The journey to maturity for most will never make sense from a worldly perspective, I am a white suburban American, I have never really wanted for anything in my life. I have faced no true persecution and if I desired I probably wouldn't have to face any hardships either. I could easily "love" just about anyone with warm feelings, giggles, teddy bears and cardboard hearts. I could easily love my children, my neighbors and with slightly more difficultly, my coworkers lol.

But of what benefit is that to me? Luke 6:32 "32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33"If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." "
How does a comfortable life have spiritual significance, how does it refine our faith or prepare us for the works God has planned for us. How can we learn to become love when love requires nothing from us but a smile. When I look back over the course of my life, I don't see how it could possibly have been any different in order to achieve the goals which I have aspired to and asked God for. (not that I think my journey is at an end by any means. I still have a long way to go)

I always wanted to be a great father and husband and have a great family who I raised to love God. So the ultimate course in love 101 - I am to experience for a time, being considered a bad husband and have no legal rights over my firstborn son and on top of that he is in a Jehovah Witness household.
I have always wanted to be responsible, disciplined, eating only healthy food, exercising, being precise and frugal in my finances. So to teach me love, I am with someone who is completely opposite. Who despises all responsibility and discipline. Any mention of these things immediately causes her to yell at me saying "Ok dad, what else do you command me to do dad. Lord master Justin how can I serve you"
Who when I mention God, tells me I am shoving my beliefs down her throat and forcing/controlling her and the idea of God existing is stupid. Who if I say "Let's go for a walk" the response is "Why don't you go find a hot exercise woman, I'm never going to be skinny like you want me to be"
My wife sleeps late, I mean 4pm late many days, if I try to wake her she flips out and is in a bad mood all day. Then when she wakes up finally, she flips out on me for letting her sleep in and wasting the day lol.

Surely some of you can understand the humor of this. In order to truly learn how to love, you have to be placed in situations where love would otherwise be difficult/impossible. Just last night I visited her mothers house, where my son stays while the Jehovah Witness is at work, I was playing with my son when my wifes step-father came home and kicked me out. Said I wasn't welcome there. We packed up our things, my son was crying as usual when we are split up. On the drive home, I led a prayer thanking God for the stepfather and everyone else in our lives and for everything God is doing. My wife became hostile because of the prayer but didn't attempt to stop it.

She is free to leave me, but I will not leave her. If God desires for the marriage to end, He will place it in her heart to leave me. I will stay with her out of obedience to God and understanding of His ways and I also believe that when the time comes, He will change my wifes heart, she will want our son in our lives, she will come to know Christ and how things really are and come to respect my authority as head of the family. (she has split custody with the Jehovah Witness, she just doesn't want to watch him currently and her mother for some reason schemes with the Witness to keep him from us. Her mother watches him during the day like she is his mom). Even if she never comes to know Christ, she will be sanctified by my belief and benefit from my faith. I will stay with her out of love for her. ( I will say however, that my situation does not apply to everyone. If you are in a seriously abusive relationship where you fear for your life and health, then pray and flee from it and thank God for the things which He has taught you from that situation )

I guess I'm going to stop here because I feel like I am boasting or something. That isn't my intention. I just feel like so many people desire the things of the world and miss the point completely. Everything is and always has been in God's hands, He could give you everything in an instant and make all your problems disappear completely and forever (which He will do, just not in this world. For now we are being raised as children. It requires evil and pain just as much as it requires good and joy to become a mature and loving spiritual being, knowing both good and evil and choosing to do good in the face of evil) I feel like God is trying to teach so many people, but they don't understand why they are experiencing the things they are experiencing. If you lose your home, your loved ones, your job, if someone doesn't like you, if you are misrepresented, falsely imprisoned, if you are mocked and disrespected, abused or neglected,,,, Rejoice, praise God, you are blessed! Our ultimate goal is not comfort and prosperity, it is spiritual birth and maturity of ourselves and those around us. It is to be conformed to Christ from the inside out. A mature and loving being (a child of God) does not respond to evil with evil, it is not corrupted by the ways of the foolish and ignorant and hateful. It is always good, always humble, always loving and always trusts our Father. Knowing that He has not abandoned us and these things will pass. This life here on earth is for our benefit, not God's enjoyment as if we were pawns in some great war or puppets for His amusement. This life is where we are being raised to be like our Father, not some trivial "test" to see if we are good enough for God and entrance into a magical "heaven".

Do what is good for the sake of good and out of love to develop spiritual maturity in yourself and others. All of our words and actions have one of two outcomes - They can either bring forth life or death. Self seeking, self preservation, cowardice sinfulness and evil have no place in God and have no place in His kingdom. The time will soon come when these things must be put an end to forever. Trust Him, that He is working all things to your benefit and for your good if you love Him.
Matthew 5 "Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.
10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
[h=3]Salt and Light[/h]13 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.
14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, sothat[b] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
[h=3]Christ Came to Fulfill the Law[/h]17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
[h=3]Anger[/h]21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother[c] will be liable to judgment; whoever insults[d] his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell[e] of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.[f]
[h=3]Lust[/h]27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
[h=3]Divorce[/h]31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
[h=3]Oaths[/h]33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 34 But I say to you,Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.[g]
[h=3]Retaliation[/h]38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic,[h] let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.
[h=3]Love Your Enemies[/h]43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[i] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

 

[JustinFromTwinCities]

Two things spring right out at me.

No. 1 - You posted of your wife:
1. She is impossible to talk to
2. She flips out so crazily
3. She literally forces me to shut my mouth and submit to her or all hell will break lose
4. She destroys my stuff and calls the police
5. She has huge rage issues
6. She doesn't let me use our car,
7. She caused me to lose 3 jobs,
8. She will turn off the radio if I listen to Christian things
9. She has stolen my money while I sleep to go on shopping sprees
10. She threatens to take my daughter away for good if she doesn't get her way
11. She has hit me on many occasions
12. She would take my phone from me before she left
13. She convinced her family that I am a loser
14. She would always blow through tremendous amounts of money
15. She would sell my things to pay our measly bills
16. I could literally go on and on talking about the extremely ridiculous things, which she has done and continues to do.

No. 2 - You posted of yourself:
1. I'm so un-phased by anything that could possibly be thrown at me.
2. I can love anyone
3. I am so thankful
4. I prayed for fire all my life
5. I prayed for hard ship
6. I prayed to be shaken to my core
7. I promised God my firstborn

Brother Justin, to post an extensive list of your wife’s offenses does not exhibit love for her nor forgiveness. (Read I Corinthians, chapter 13 about CHRIST's kind of love) Rather, you are making her out to be 100% the sinner in this situation and you 100% the saint. I am not saying your circumstances are not genuine, beloved brother. I am saying that if in fact, you are doing all of this for the LORD and if in fact, you are glad to remain in suffering and if in fact, you truly love your wife as Christ loves the church, why are you telling the world that you are happy that your wife is a lost sinner who has little worth? Can you see the truth of that, Justin?

Also, you say that GOD is doing all of this to your life because you asked HIM to. Do you genuinely believe GOD is controlled by our will and our purposes? You say that GOD answered your prayer to take away your son, to allow your wife to remain lost, to put you in a refining fire and to give you a life of hardship. Do you really think that GOD would answer prayers that are “asked amiss”, as the WORD reads? Asking amiss is asking for things from GOD with a wrong motive, things not in line with the LORD’s will.

It is not GOD's will that we remain in a situation and do nothing when HE has made many ways of escape from abuse in the home. You can go to the counsel of your church for intervention. You could go to the court and request that your wife get mandatory counseling and/or anger management. You or she should leave the home to see if things get better or not. There are TONS of support groups and services online. Google them, dear brother.

Honestly, this is a heartbreaking testimony and I am saddened for all of you. If you were my son, I'd be in tears of grief that you would allow yourself to be mistreated like this. I’m so sorry you were led to believe that GOD is that harsh and militant, son. I absolutely recommend you get godly counseling ASAP for your sake and the sake of all your family. This is not a healthy situation, Justin and I am certain your children are being damaged by all this chaos.

I pray to GOD your eyes are open, Brother Justin and you receive the wisdom and grace of JESUS CHRIST that you may live the abundant life in CHRIST. May your whole life be renewed and your whole house in the power and the name of JESUS CHRIST our merciful and faithful LORD. ♥

My point is not to make her out to be bad, it is to tell people that love overcomes all. That just because our circumstances may seem to be bad from a worldly perspective, we can still have joy and peace. It is to say, that we should not give up what we believe the moment things seem "hopeless" to everyone else. I understand that I basically just listed some of the negative things in the relationship, but that is required in order to communicate the point I am trying to make. My biggest mistake with this thread was in the wording of it. My wife is not worthless because she doesn't live up to your standards of what makes someone worthy. The truth is I am downplaying the events of my marriage. Why should my testimony be considered heartbreaking or you consider me to be in error. Yes, I have desired to be conformed to Christ above all things, but I do not long for suffering, I am not a fool for pain. I just am not pained by the same things you are. I long for love and understanding and wisdom which transcends the ways of this world. I am not broken, I am not scarred, I am filled with joy. You think the things that men concern themselves with are the same things our Father concerns Himself with? The "American Dream" has never been the dream of my heart. Perfection isn't found in this world, it is found in Christ. If Christians were beaten and put into camps and executed, would you suggest that we flee from our faith in the hopes we avoid hardship, in the hopes of preserving our dignity, our respect, or authority or our lives? Do you suggest that I am a fool for trusting that God is in control of all things and that He works all things for the good of those who love Him? I can tell you with all certainty, that if I were not married and did not have children. I would still not conform to the ways of this world - I would be doing something else which would be considered reckless in the eyes of the world. Such as missionary work in a hostile country. I guess I see the world differently than you do and that is fine, we are all created differently for different purposes. You have an understanding of how a marriage is supposed to work, but what if your marriage didn't work the way it was supposed to? You have an idea of what a lovable person is, but what if we were called to love all people regardless of who they are or what they did? I didn't pray for God to take my son, I prayed that he would belong to the Lord. I didn't have any say in what occurred, I spent all my time, all my effort for years attempting to be a part of my sons life. But in the end, it was all fruitless. It will only happen when it is God's timing, same goes for the healing and maturity of my wife. You seem to think hardship is contrary to the things of God, but do you not know that many people have experienced pain and loss and have died (just in general)? Do you not know that all who truly walk with Christ will experience some form of persecution? Do you not know that people are born with painful conditions and horrible defects? Would you tell them that they are fools if they believed God made them that way for a reason, for His own purposes (which do not necessarily make worldly sense to you)?

 

[LambieBear]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You are a true Christian, and you are following Jesus down a lighted path to Heaven. Your wife may not end up there with you, but you are a blessed creature of God for trying to save her.

 

[Dan58]

I doubt that God expects Christians to intentionally suffer abuse, and it does sound a bit like you relish the way your wife treats you. Jesus didn't invite abuse, he fled from it. "Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by" (John 8:59). No offense, but you sound like a masochist. Its not a blessing to be mistreated by your wife, you need not submit yourself to her abuse to please the Lord; "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing" (Ephesians 5:22-24). I realize your wife is no Christian, but your obligated to be the head of your household, and it sounds like you've given up on that idea and are resigned to being a whipping boy? I just don't see the love in that? It just doesn't sound like your wife respects you, so maybe you should change your approach and stand-up for yourself, I suspect she might respect that. Again, no offense, but you sound like the wimp on the playground that has not only accepted being beat-up everyday, but have actually grown to enjoy it. Its time to stand up and be counted, for your sake and your sons. jmo

 

[Marian29]

I praise God for my non Christian wife (she would pray with me and allow me to speak about Christ until we got married), nothing has given me more opportunity to conform myself to Christ than her. I have three children and none of them have my last name, one she gave up for adoption without me knowing, another she gave to her ex-boyfriend who is a Jehovah Witness (this alone has caused me years of serious gut wrenching depression, but I have overcome and am even able to love this man who worked to take my child now). She is impossible to talk to and flips out so crazily if I try to talk about anything (she literally forces me to shut my mouth and submit to her or all hell will break lose, our stuff will be destroyed, police will be called, my daughter will cry, you name it it happens - huge rage issues). She doesn't let me use our car, she caused me to lose 3 jobs, she will turn off the radio if i listen to Christian things, she has stolen my money while I sleep to go on shopping sprees, she threatens to take my daughter away for good if she doesn't get her way, she has hit me on many occasions, she would take my phone from me before she left so that I could not communicate with anyone, she has convinced her family that I am a loser (even though I can't work because of her lol), our rent payment was only $50 dollars a month and she would always blow through tremendous amounts of money to the point that I had to borrow money from family or sell my things to pay our measly bills (a few months ago we got $2500 and she blew it in two weeks and we couldn't even pay rent that month, I mean I could literally go on and on for years talking about the extremely ridiculous things which she has done and continues to do. But, I consider it an amazing blessing to be given the circumstances necessary to teach me to love as God loves. You have no idea lol, I'm so un-phased by anything that could possibly be thrown at me. I can love anyone and thats the whole point, that's what we strive for. To be conformed to Christ. We are refined by fire, not cool waters!

Indeed, the reason why I am so thankful is because I prayed for fire all my life, I prayed for hard ship, I prayed to be shaken to my core until there was nothing left of me, just Christ. And God has certainly heard and answered those prayers!

To realize we don't love ourselves as much as we should, and that's the cause people feels in the right of abusing us, doesn't mean you're weak. To realize we need help from God specially, and why not from people too, doesn't either means you're weak. It just means you're strong, and you have the right to look for help. People outside the situation looks differently and can give you a good feedback. Don't stay away from reading specific Bible verses about marriage, just 'google' it and you'll find several of them.
You don't need to separate from her, you just need guidance to go to the path that Jesus taught us to go. Abuse in the marriage is not Biblical, as giving children to others either.
God bless.

 

[mystikmind]

She kinda sounds allot like a girl i had a relationship with long ago. You get pulled into this overwhelming obsession to do whatever it takes to make them happy and to make the relationship work. You would let them do anything, even keep a couple of boyfriends on the side and you would just be glad they still come home to you.

Does any of this seem familiar Justinfromtwincities?

 

[Joidevivre]

Either I really don't believe this posting is serious

OR

I wonder why you are telling us all this - you obviously don't want any advice.

You certainly hold yourself up as the perfect husband. Yet think nothing of disrespecting your wife by telling us all of her faults. If you truly loved her, you would cover them and keep them private. (After all, love keeps no record of wrongs.) Especially since you are not asking for advice.

You also are not thinking of what you are teaching your children. They are learning by example. Your poor daughter might someday think she has to submit quietly and smile while her husband is abusing her. (All under the name of religion). Sad!

 

[breno785au]

This seems to be some extreme passive aggressiveness. You both need help, if not for the sake of yourselves but for the children - they're the victims here.

 

[MollyConnor]

I'm so sorry about what is happening to you! I will pray for you, your wife and your children. Please keep in mind that the Lord wants us equally yoked with someone of the faith. If she isn't a Christian, it was an unwise decision to marry her. However, I applaud you for trying to make it work. It's going to be difficult but with the Lord anything is possible. She doesn't seem like a good wife at all, to be honest. But I hope that she will change for the Lord.

Show her the Lord's love and eventually she might be curious to seek it herself.
Also, I agree with being shaken up so much to where you have to rely on the Lord. It's like you knew it was coming and once it's here, it's sort of a relief. So I'm glad for those times too.

God bless you and your family!

 

[tourist]

Oh and I want to mention this also: When I was younger I also promised God my firstborn son, don't ask me why but I always did. I told Him that my son would be His. Anyways, my first born son (who was given to the man who is a Jehovah Witness) was named Dominic. Which means "Belongs to the Lord". I had no part in naming him. People often pray for good things, for easy things, for comfort and healing. That is good and it has it's place but there is something amazing that occurs when we are at our weakest, when we are forced to trust in God because we have nothing else. I still see my son and even more often these days, he knows I am his father but until my wife decides to be a mother I am not going to be in his life on a daily basis.

How is it that you have 3 kids without your last name? How can your wife give away one of your children? Were you powerless to stop this craziness? I don't understand what you have said about promising God your first-born son. Were you complicit in this giving away of the child?

Your wife is looney tunes. Seriously.

 

[notuptome]

Your wife is looney tunes. Seriously.

And what of her eternity?

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[JesusLives]

What I don't understand is Why are you allowing her to give away your children? Really? You didn't have any say in what happened to your children? Unless they were not your children. I could NEVER allow anyone to take my children and give them away. How is that even legal? Why didn't you go to the authorities and turn in your wife for trafficking children. Your children by the way you have posted. Poor kids. If your wife is abusing you why are you not getting help? This whole situation is terrible as no one is stepping up for the kids and what has been happening to them.....Everyone needs help. Counseling for sure and arrest for giving away kids. Like I said I really don't understand.