ummmm.....while you certainly have my heart feeling bad about this if it is all true, you do not have my wisdom or biblical agreement on your situation
Indeed, the reason why I am so thankful is because I prayed for fire all my life, I prayed for hard ship, I prayed to be shaken to my core until there was nothing left of me, just Christ. And God has certainly heard and answered those prayers!
well, where in scripture are we told to pray for these things? you know, I am pretty familar with the Bible...I certainly do not know it all, but like I said, pretty familiar with it and one thing I like with regards to posting in Christian forums, is that it does get you searching the scriptures and just making sure and sometimes you even get to change your mind on something
That being said, I am sorry you believe you have to live a martyr's life....I am a tad skeptical...sorry...about all these details...and why are you posting on here in this manner? I for one, certainly do not wish nor do I believe a person should subject themself to what you have (again if it is all really so but I'll not mention that again) so either you just want to talk to someone or are you in some way trying to state how 'holy' you have become?
I am not making fun nor am I being judgemental...I am concerned if this is all true (oh there I go again) as I would pray you come out of that mess and I would doubly pray that no one reading your op would come to think that is the life God has called us to and I would really and sincerely not want anyone to pray along the manner you state you have prayed
Examine the letters written by the Apostle Paul...he prayed people would be filled with the wisdom of God...he prayed people would come to know the height and breadth of God's love...anyone can look up how Paul addressed believers in his letters and let me tell you...he was the most encouraging person EVER!
And, especially for your personal benefit, I would like you to note that Paul prayed THREE times for his 'thorn in the flesh' to be removed and God told him nuh uh...God's strength was made perfect in Paul's weakness...in other words, Paul had to depend on God because of whatever his thorn was, and could not depend on himself...
But note that Paul, surely far wiser and having met Jesus personally and been converted by Him, then you or I (and he did write a huge chunk of the NT) NEVER EVER prayed for hardship or personal pain
It comes with the territory anyway. He endured plenty and no one who is sincere in their pursuit of the truth and of knowing God, will escape such as the entire world system is our enemy.
Soooooo......this is hard to say....but you need to ask God to forgive you for allowing what you have...especially with your children...and pray how the Bible indicates we should pray
Here is a great start for you...replace the 'your' and pray personally for yourself
You need to experience the love and forgivness of Christ...not the damnation and and cursed life you are living right now
Jesus came so that you might have life and have it more abundantly!
That does not mean you get two cars in the driveway and a watch by Cartier...no...it means the inner man rejoices in the Lord and your mind is girded with truth...let your mind be transformed by the living word...
Ephesians 3
For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom every family[SUP]a[/SUP] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
