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So Dad is going to have to take me grocery shopping tomorrow because my sis and her fiance decided to "punish" me because I told my sister I don't like it when they shop because they buy junk. She told mister fiance. Fiance didn't take that so well. So they didn't take me grocery shopping (not that I wanted to go with them) and then when they got back he told me he wasn't getting me gluten free stuff. Well excuuuuse me. How you deal with the truth ain't my issue. And starving me isn't going to change me. Completely unacceptable. Thank God Dad understands where I'm coming from.
Oh they do. And they probably don't see it as punishing me, and they didn't word it like that. But they might as well have attempted to. Regardless, their attempts are futile, I don't put up with crap. Dad doesn't even like it when they go grocery shopping because of what they buy. I need to make another menu tomorrow and take inventory of what we do and do not have.
I love my sister dearly, and I don't completely mind her fiance. But this...was unacceptable, and it made me very angry. I probably shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry on here. That's not very right, either. And I possibly could have been nicer with what I said to my sister. But how they reacted was completely wrong. I plan to work on my tact, but do they plan to work on how they deal with anger and how they deal with a flaw being pointed out?
This will be something I'm praying about tonight.
I love my sister dearly, and I don't completely mind her fiance. But this...was unacceptable, and it made me very angry. I probably shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry on here. That's not very right, either. And I possibly could have been nicer with what I said to my sister. But how they reacted was completely wrong. I plan to work on my tact, but do they plan to work on how they deal with anger and how they deal with a flaw being pointed out?
This will be something I'm praying about tonight.
I think I'm a runner.
Not in the physical sense. If you could see me, that much would be obvious.
I don't think I'm brave. Yeah, I've moved a few times. I suppose that takes courage. I ran from South Dakota. I could have taken up another job there when I got fired from the ministry, though I think it was best for me to leave so I could heal. I lived in Illinois for a while. Did great. But then a few of my close friends starting leaving, going to other states for school or jobs. I started getting panicky, and that combined with a few other things, I decided to move, too. Now I am here, and I enjoy it, and I'm finally starting to make friends in my Sunday night group, and a few of them may be leaving in the fall to go to grad school somewhere else. My best friend here gets married in October, so that will change things as well.
I'm starting to feel that panic again. I'm trying to take deep breaths. There's a lot of what-ifs, it's far in the future, who knows what could change between now and then. It's obviously a lack of trust in God on my part, for sure. That much I can see.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in an ocean, swimming with no direction.
Not in the physical sense. If you could see me, that much would be obvious.
I don't think I'm brave. Yeah, I've moved a few times. I suppose that takes courage. I ran from South Dakota. I could have taken up another job there when I got fired from the ministry, though I think it was best for me to leave so I could heal. I lived in Illinois for a while. Did great. But then a few of my close friends starting leaving, going to other states for school or jobs. I started getting panicky, and that combined with a few other things, I decided to move, too. Now I am here, and I enjoy it, and I'm finally starting to make friends in my Sunday night group, and a few of them may be leaving in the fall to go to grad school somewhere else. My best friend here gets married in October, so that will change things as well.
I'm starting to feel that panic again. I'm trying to take deep breaths. There's a lot of what-ifs, it's far in the future, who knows what could change between now and then. It's obviously a lack of trust in God on my part, for sure. That much I can see.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in an ocean, swimming with no direction.
M
I went to church today and I couldn't stop yawning! How do you stop yawning? And it wasn't like I was tired or sleepy (I slept 9 hours last night) but I still kept yawning. I even enjoyed the service and thought it was interesting. I just didn't want anyone to think I was bored or sleepy. It's a very small congregation.
This happens to me a lot, even at school. I wonder why. Does anyone else have this problem?
This happens to me a lot, even at school. I wonder why. Does anyone else have this problem?
S
I was reminded tonight, somewhat subtly, of how I don't bond with people. My relationships seem to be lacking depth. I remember being a bit critical of Chris McCandless when I read Into The Wild. It seems I may have more in common with him than I would have admitted, and that may be part of why I didn't take to him very well initially.
Sometimes being a loner is a strain. One may think being obligated to many would be burdensome, but I find the reverse to be quite a heavy lot at times. Like Rachel, I sometimes feel like I'm lost at sea. I think, at least for now, it's better this way, though; the pursuit of loneliness. My love for others will remain devoid of expectations, and I think I will maintain the distance I have with others throughout future encounters, also. It isn't so bad, really. There are just...moments.
Sometimes being a loner is a strain. One may think being obligated to many would be burdensome, but I find the reverse to be quite a heavy lot at times. Like Rachel, I sometimes feel like I'm lost at sea. I think, at least for now, it's better this way, though; the pursuit of loneliness. My love for others will remain devoid of expectations, and I think I will maintain the distance I have with others throughout future encounters, also. It isn't so bad, really. There are just...moments.
B
That just might mean that you are normal, lol.
I think God intended for man to learn how to endure solitude and with the culture many of us are way too dependant on our comfort zone. The best friends I ever had were ones that just showed up, I wish more people thought like this...then I would make more friends because I know they wouldn't hold my forgetfulness and inconsistencies against me. People need to be reminded of how human they are and how broken they are. This is the canvas the Lord uses for his story.
I think God intended for man to learn how to endure solitude and with the culture many of us are way too dependant on our comfort zone. The best friends I ever had were ones that just showed up, I wish more people thought like this...then I would make more friends because I know they wouldn't hold my forgetfulness and inconsistencies against me. People need to be reminded of how human they are and how broken they are. This is the canvas the Lord uses for his story.
