I think there's a difference between being yourself and never changing any of your habits and behaviors. Ultimately a relationship will change you, it's part of the process of life and growing and stuff. Not all changes are bad, but it is not good to feel like you are being held hostage to someone's whims or ideals.
So personally I can see kind of 3 categories: Changes that I'd be more than willing to make, Changes that might be good but I am incapable of making a major change in that area, Things I'm not willing to change
Changes I'd be willing to make:
Expanded (or narrowed) entertainment choices (games, music, movies, TV, etc.)- I would be more than willing to defer to someone else's preferences or convictions regarding entertainment choices. Though there could be a point at which this became to extreme or depriving.
Trying a new hobby or activity
Learning to be a bit more approachable
My schedule- If he's most talkative from 9-12 at night then I'll learn to stay up and talk then. Or if he thinks 5 AM is the best time to connect and touch base before the busy day begins then I'll start getting up early to talk to him.
Changes I believe myself to be incapable of making:
Enjoying noisy crowded environments- I'm very introverted. Such environments will always stress me out and wear me out. I'm willing to stretch a bit, but if I know I can't leave early (when I need to) without looking rude, I will make and excuse not to go at all.
Caring about someone's social status- nope I don't and I see no reason to
Paying attention to body language or other general observations- I don't consciously notice, and I would have a hard time telling anyone what even my roommate or my family looks like.
Letting go of my need for a plan, determined outcomes, and finishing things- change is good, last minute change will have me interrogating you about who failed to do their job that I was not given notice in a timely manner.
Sense of humor- it's warped and strange, but if you don't like it you should probably just leave now
Things I'm unwilling to change:
Faith- my understanding may grow and develop but I belong to Jesus first and foremost (and the Bible for what it plainly says is the standard for living)
Values and Integrity- how it is lived out may change, but I'm not going to start calling evil good or vis a versa.
Being financially responsible
Maintaining family relationships and friendships in addition to this new relationship (though the dynamics will inevitably change)
Well hopefully that gives a good idea of what changes may or may not be made for and in a hypothetical future relationship. I try not to be too dogmatic on the non-essentials, but I'm also getting wiser in my "old age" (or is that old maidness) that a lot of things could change, and some of them will probably be good changes.
