Alright, I really didn't want to share something so personal on a site like this, but I trust the sound advice of some of the other users on here. I also hope that I am not judged or looked down upon for what I'm about to say, because quite frankly, I have beaten myself up so much already.
Lately, I have been experiencing highs and lows, waves of overwhelming sadness. (I really want to stay away from the "D" word.) I feel misunderstood, alone, and frustrated. I know I'm not really alone, but for some reason I get tricked into feeling that way. I've really strayed away from God and I know that's a huge chunk of my problem. I think I also feel this constant nagging in the back of my mind to make a difference, and I envision such great things for my future. I want to help people, make them feel loved, to help them find their worth. For as long as I can remember, it has been a dream of mine. It seems to be taking forever to get my life started, to finally focus on my future and my happiness. It just seems like I keep giving to everyone else, and no one cares if I'm running too thin or even if it kills me!
Case in point. Everything has been incredibly stressful lately which is when these feelings of sadness and hopelessness started.
1. My mom lost her home, forcing my sister to move in to my very small apartment.
2. My mom then moved in as well, along with her dog. I really fought against this because we do not have a good relationship at all, and being around her alone stresses me out. She ended up starting a huge fight with me, and I asked her to leave.
3. My brother now needs a place to stay.
4. Then my dad and his girlfriend loses their place and he needs to live with me, but luckily they were able to turn things around and ended up not moving in with me.
5. I start making less money at my job, due to changes in the commission. (Roughly a 400 decrease)
6. My bank account goes in the negative, and I get a late fee on my rent, leaving me without money for food or anything else.
7. My car stops running, and I can't get it fixed.
This is all in the period of a month. I feel like I'm holding it together pretty well, but I really don't know how much more I can take before I have a nervous breakdown. Why is this happening? How can I stay positive? What can I do to keep myself from slipping into a depression that I know is right on the horizon? I'll try to be as open as I can to all advice that you guys are willing to give. Thanks.
Lately, I have been experiencing highs and lows, waves of overwhelming sadness. (I really want to stay away from the "D" word.) I feel misunderstood, alone, and frustrated. I know I'm not really alone, but for some reason I get tricked into feeling that way. I've really strayed away from God and I know that's a huge chunk of my problem. I think I also feel this constant nagging in the back of my mind to make a difference, and I envision such great things for my future. I want to help people, make them feel loved, to help them find their worth. For as long as I can remember, it has been a dream of mine. It seems to be taking forever to get my life started, to finally focus on my future and my happiness. It just seems like I keep giving to everyone else, and no one cares if I'm running too thin or even if it kills me!
Case in point. Everything has been incredibly stressful lately which is when these feelings of sadness and hopelessness started.
1. My mom lost her home, forcing my sister to move in to my very small apartment.
2. My mom then moved in as well, along with her dog. I really fought against this because we do not have a good relationship at all, and being around her alone stresses me out. She ended up starting a huge fight with me, and I asked her to leave.
3. My brother now needs a place to stay.
4. Then my dad and his girlfriend loses their place and he needs to live with me, but luckily they were able to turn things around and ended up not moving in with me.
5. I start making less money at my job, due to changes in the commission. (Roughly a 400 decrease)
6. My bank account goes in the negative, and I get a late fee on my rent, leaving me without money for food or anything else.
7. My car stops running, and I can't get it fixed.
This is all in the period of a month. I feel like I'm holding it together pretty well, but I really don't know how much more I can take before I have a nervous breakdown. Why is this happening? How can I stay positive? What can I do to keep myself from slipping into a depression that I know is right on the horizon? I'll try to be as open as I can to all advice that you guys are willing to give. Thanks.