Boyfriend
- Thread starter JFSurvivor
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J
"Blunt" in what sense? In an insulting sort of manner or just in the sense of speaking plainly? Also, is he a Christian? If he is, then "culture" itself doesn't define "acceptability" and he could be reminded of or taught the same if he's being "blunt" in an insulting sort of way.
Btw, I'm a white American who is married to a black Panamanian, so I understand what a clash of cultures can be about at times.
Btw, I'm a white American who is married to a black Panamanian, so I understand what a clash of cultures can be about at times.
B
"His culture" is just another compromise from the secular world to put a dent in your Christian walk. Words that trouble you, upset you, foul language, crass jokes, on and on, all of that is those arrows from Satan mentioned in the Full Armor of God. I have no idea what your boyfriend says, but if they trouble you enough to post on a forum, then I am guessing they aren't acceptable and we know when we are being exposed to sin in our gut. We know.
Just remember, you faith is Christ, Jesus Christ is always going to be your number one relationship.
Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person
Is your boyfriend Christian who is sincere in growing in faith, then the problem will solve itself. He should welcome the chance to leave behind sin. As he grows in Christ, he will turn from sin, "his culture" will become simply, Christian. However, if he is spiritually stagnant, that can cause trouble. If he isn't Christian, then that's a whole 'nother ball game.
From my own personal experience, when the Lord's name is used in vain around me; I always feel compelled to speak up, hey that offends me and that offends God. A lot of people don't use it around me anymore. LOL
Anyway, my two cents is you and him need to discuss it and why it makes you upset in the larger scope of being a Christian.
Mark 3:25
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
Discords that fester can and will have a impact on relationships over time.
Just remember, you faith is Christ, Jesus Christ is always going to be your number one relationship.
Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person
Is your boyfriend Christian who is sincere in growing in faith, then the problem will solve itself. He should welcome the chance to leave behind sin. As he grows in Christ, he will turn from sin, "his culture" will become simply, Christian. However, if he is spiritually stagnant, that can cause trouble. If he isn't Christian, then that's a whole 'nother ball game.
From my own personal experience, when the Lord's name is used in vain around me; I always feel compelled to speak up, hey that offends me and that offends God. A lot of people don't use it around me anymore. LOL
Anyway, my two cents is you and him need to discuss it and why it makes you upset in the larger scope of being a Christian.
Mark 3:25
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
Discords that fester can and will have a impact on relationships over time.
J
I hope that I'm not out of line by asking, but what is the cause of your PTSD? I ask for two reasons (at least):
1. Because I've worked around this nation's Veterans for the last 12 1/2 years or so and I've personally spoken to hundreds (at least) of Veterans with PTSD. Don't get me wrong...I'm not a counselor or anything, but I am a Christian and I do offer Christian counsel to those who are receptive of the same.
2. I was just reading your thread about depression and prayer, so I'm only asking so that I might possibly gain some insight in order to hopefully help you and not to be nosey.
1. Because I've worked around this nation's Veterans for the last 12 1/2 years or so and I've personally spoken to hundreds (at least) of Veterans with PTSD. Don't get me wrong...I'm not a counselor or anything, but I am a Christian and I do offer Christian counsel to those who are receptive of the same.
2. I was just reading your thread about depression and prayer, so I'm only asking so that I might possibly gain some insight in order to hopefully help you and not to be nosey.
Actually...
cultural misunderstandings are a real thing.
You can go into another cultural, talk just like you're talking to us, and find out you insulted everyone, accidentally.
That's why most marriage counselors would not even recommend trying to marry someone from another culture.
It just adds extra layers of confusion to the relationship.
It's also important to do significant cultural studies before trying to go into another country as a missionary.
Many missionaries have made terrible messes of things because they were too arrogant to study the local culture.
cultural misunderstandings are a real thing.
You can go into another cultural, talk just like you're talking to us, and find out you insulted everyone, accidentally.
That's why most marriage counselors would not even recommend trying to marry someone from another culture.
It just adds extra layers of confusion to the relationship.
It's also important to do significant cultural studies before trying to go into another country as a missionary.
Many missionaries have made terrible messes of things because they were too arrogant to study the local culture.
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M
There is a very good book on communicating in a marriage called "the marriage you always wanted" by Gary Chapman. Yes your not married, but if you can learn and put into practice these lessons while in a committed relationship, so much the better!
I am 42 years old, and only now after my wife is divorcing me have i stopped to take a good look at myself and realize i have ALLOT to learn about relationships! I decided i don't want to continue on as i was, so i got stuck in on the internet, research research research! And the more i learn, the more i realize how much i don't know!
I am 42 years old, and only now after my wife is divorcing me have i stopped to take a good look at myself and realize i have ALLOT to learn about relationships! I decided i don't want to continue on as i was, so i got stuck in on the internet, research research research! And the more i learn, the more i realize how much i don't know!
M
I think by having Puerto Rican blood that I am qualified to say this... that's just how it is,lol. So many times I've tried to not be this way and those in my family as well, but being blunt is just natural.
On a more serious note, the bible says a soft answer turns away wrath (Pro 15:1). That works quite well in my family, but it takes a lot of patience and self-control on the other person's part. The soft answer helps you realize how irrational or out of control you are being about the situation. Usually the males are more contained, it's mainly the females in mine!
On a more serious note, the bible says a soft answer turns away wrath (Pro 15:1). That works quite well in my family, but it takes a lot of patience and self-control on the other person's part. The soft answer helps you realize how irrational or out of control you are being about the situation. Usually the males are more contained, it's mainly the females in mine!
J
Wow.
That was some read.
I'm sorry that you've had to suffer those things which you shared, but sometimes those who have suffered the most wind up understanding God's mercy, grace and lovingkindness the most too. May that be true in your case.
Btw, you're pretty funny. The way that you started part two of your testimony really had me laughing.
Thanks for sharing that with us and may you find many friends/brothers/sisters here at CC.
That was some read.
I'm sorry that you've had to suffer those things which you shared, but sometimes those who have suffered the most wind up understanding God's mercy, grace and lovingkindness the most too. May that be true in your case.
Btw, you're pretty funny. The way that you started part two of your testimony really had me laughing.
Thanks for sharing that with us and may you find many friends/brothers/sisters here at CC.