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Hi, I am new to this forum. I should have introduced myself in the new members section, however I am hurting so much I needed to come here first.
A year ago, my husband confessed to sleeping with his ex, whom he has 2 children with. It happened once when he brought his children to her home. He only confessed because she then pressed sexual harassment charges against him, which were just recently dropped. I forgave him and I have been trying to move on with our relationship. I was also forced, because of the charges, to be the mediator between them for their kids sake. This has not helped me with healing at all. It has been a year since I found out and I am still hurting so much. I try to talk to him to understand why it happened and I also try to talk to him because I am hurting. I need his comfort, support, understanding, and patience, but he is unable to give it to me because he thinks I should be over it now or I should just clear my head and move on. I can't until I feel his love by giving me what I need. He can't give me what I need because I "won't let him by holding on to this hurt".
I have died inside. I am not the same person. I am sad and guarded. Now because of this (my fault according to him) , I recently found out he watches a lot of porn and he has joined some online dating sites to "just chat".
How can I ever heal? How can I ever trust him? I love him so much and I know he loves me, but his actions are telling me he is done with our relationship.
He is a Christian man. He brought me into Christianity.
I cry everyday struggling with what to do. I want to work through this with him and live a happy life together forever, but am I being too naive? I feel so stupid.
A year ago, my husband confessed to sleeping with his ex, whom he has 2 children with. It happened once when he brought his children to her home. He only confessed because she then pressed sexual harassment charges against him, which were just recently dropped. I forgave him and I have been trying to move on with our relationship. I was also forced, because of the charges, to be the mediator between them for their kids sake. This has not helped me with healing at all. It has been a year since I found out and I am still hurting so much. I try to talk to him to understand why it happened and I also try to talk to him because I am hurting. I need his comfort, support, understanding, and patience, but he is unable to give it to me because he thinks I should be over it now or I should just clear my head and move on. I can't until I feel his love by giving me what I need. He can't give me what I need because I "won't let him by holding on to this hurt".
I have died inside. I am not the same person. I am sad and guarded. Now because of this (my fault according to him) , I recently found out he watches a lot of porn and he has joined some online dating sites to "just chat".
How can I ever heal? How can I ever trust him? I love him so much and I know he loves me, but his actions are telling me he is done with our relationship.
He is a Christian man. He brought me into Christianity.
I cry everyday struggling with what to do. I want to work through this with him and live a happy life together forever, but am I being too naive? I feel so stupid.