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U
People are people, not a makeup of list items that you check off. Sure, have standards, but if you look at a guy as a checklist rather than a person there's a problem on your end, not his.
One thing i've learned is the people who 'match a list' are not always the best person for you, while people who may not fall in line with your list may be better for you. Focus less on lists and more on people.
One thing i've learned is the people who 'match a list' are not always the best person for you, while people who may not fall in line with your list may be better for you. Focus less on lists and more on people.
Get real. Biology is biology, if you do not dig the guy, until you do, just let him know where you stand. It is not going to change, and certainly there is no real future between you unless he lights your fire.
The second thing is, why do you devalue yourself, or that you really know him. It takes a long time to get to know anybody. My wife when I first met her, I said there was no way I would get involved because it was just too twee.
Over the next year, much to my suprise I fell for her big time. It took 3 years, and boy did I have a lot of needs, emotions, life to work through. And then the kids came, very demanding, stretching etc. 24 years later, what a family, but what a cost.
So I say to you, if he is showing an interest in you, show an interest in him, out of courtesy. That is how the dance goes, neither know where it will lead, but all things considered, it is a reasonable first step, that is all, on a long road...
The second thing is, why do you devalue yourself, or that you really know him. It takes a long time to get to know anybody. My wife when I first met her, I said there was no way I would get involved because it was just too twee.
Over the next year, much to my suprise I fell for her big time. It took 3 years, and boy did I have a lot of needs, emotions, life to work through. And then the kids came, very demanding, stretching etc. 24 years later, what a family, but what a cost.
So I say to you, if he is showing an interest in you, show an interest in him, out of courtesy. That is how the dance goes, neither know where it will lead, but all things considered, it is a reasonable first step, that is all, on a long road...
M
I have heard so many stories of married couples who say they were not very interested at first, and these are often the strongest relationships! possibly because these people knew how not to be deceived by emotions?
Also strong willed people know emotions often follow choice, if you make the choice, whereas most people let their choice follow emotion.
But there are things that can go wrong either way, so yes, be honest to him about your feelings, but that you will give him a chance.... you have to be in it to win it (but that does not mean you 'will' win it, it just means you have a chance).
Also strong willed people know emotions often follow choice, if you make the choice, whereas most people let their choice follow emotion.
But there are things that can go wrong either way, so yes, be honest to him about your feelings, but that you will give him a chance.... you have to be in it to win it (but that does not mean you 'will' win it, it just means you have a chance).
C
First God put YOU in front of the man, not the other way around.
Scripture said that " women are made for men not men for women"..
Keep that in mind.. that you don't have to choose any man if you don't want..
and you can take all the time you want to decide...
is he making advances that make you feel that you can't be friends with him to get to know him before making that type of decision?
working up to marriage takes time..
and scripture says that men should treat ALL women as sisters in christ.. and we should treat all men as brothers..
including men that could end up being our husbands one day. When we do this, it takes pressure off and then we can just let things happen in God's timing anyway.
Scripture said that " women are made for men not men for women"..
Keep that in mind.. that you don't have to choose any man if you don't want..
and you can take all the time you want to decide...
is he making advances that make you feel that you can't be friends with him to get to know him before making that type of decision?
working up to marriage takes time..
and scripture says that men should treat ALL women as sisters in christ.. and we should treat all men as brothers..
including men that could end up being our husbands one day. When we do this, it takes pressure off and then we can just let things happen in God's timing anyway.
A
I see about 80% of women focused only on the top 20% of guys (e.g. looks, money, coolness factors, etc...). Obviously this isn't going to work out for the bottom 60% of this 80% female demographic.
Interestingly, a good portion of the top 20% of guys sleeps around meaning leaving that bottom 60% with the idea they actually have a chance at being something other than a one night stand with these guys. They don't.
Anyways, if you've got a good man standing in front of you who's in the top 40% AND he's a solid fully committed Christian and totally into you, what ARE you waiting for?
Statistically, if you're waiting for one of the top 20%, it's not going to happen unless you yourself are in the top 20%. I suppose exceptions exist but nature is what it is and nature can be cruel at times
.
Interestingly, a good portion of the top 20% of guys sleeps around meaning leaving that bottom 60% with the idea they actually have a chance at being something other than a one night stand with these guys. They don't.
Anyways, if you've got a good man standing in front of you who's in the top 40% AND he's a solid fully committed Christian and totally into you, what ARE you waiting for?
Statistically, if you're waiting for one of the top 20%, it's not going to happen unless you yourself are in the top 20%. I suppose exceptions exist but nature is what it is and nature can be cruel at times
.
I see about 80% of women focused only on the top 20% of guys (e.g. looks, money, coolness factors, etc...). Obviously this isn't going to work out for the bottom 60% of this 80% female demographic.
Interestingly, a good portion of the top 20% of guys sleeps around meaning leaving that bottom 60% with the idea they actually have a chance at being something other than a one night stand with these guys. They don't.
Anyways, if you've got a good man standing in front of you who's in the top 40% AND he's a solid fully committed Christian and totally into you, what ARE you waiting for?
Statistically, if you're waiting for one of the top 20%, it's not going to happen unless you yourself are in the top 20%. I suppose exceptions exist but nature is what it is and nature can be cruel at times.
Interestingly, a good portion of the top 20% of guys sleeps around meaning leaving that bottom 60% with the idea they actually have a chance at being something other than a one night stand with these guys. They don't.
Anyways, if you've got a good man standing in front of you who's in the top 40% AND he's a solid fully committed Christian and totally into you, what ARE you waiting for?
Statistically, if you're waiting for one of the top 20%, it's not going to happen unless you yourself are in the top 20%. I suppose exceptions exist but nature is what it is and nature can be cruel at times
.
I feel much better prepared now.
: )
