Married but posting in Christian Single ,Why?

Chey60 · Apr 6, 2015

Hello Dawg,

Unless I am missing something from your post, I'm not sure what illness you and your wife are going through, but I am truly sorry.

If it is Alzheimer's, I can only imagine how difficult this can be. My own Grandma, whom I loved dearly, was in the beginning stages when she died and I am just thankful that she still knew who we were when God called her home. I once worked for a manager whose father had Alzheimer's and when he would visit his dad with his wife, whom he'd been married to for something like 40 years, his father would always ask, "Who is this? I've never seen her before," despite having known this woman for the entire time they were married.

I agree with the other posters here that being married is still being married, whether you live together or not.

However, I also realize that we must try to understand what others are going through and reach out in compassion. We really don't know what people are going through until we've been there. One of my favorite Christian authors is Philip Yancey, because he encounters a lot of difficult situations. Your story reminds me of a man he wrote about who had to give up a highly coveted position he had always dreamed of having at a prestigious Christian university because he chose to stay at home and care for his wife, who had Alzheimer's.
(END QUOTE)

Girlie

your's is a place of kind understanding with gentle words of truth, others are speaking the truth tough love...
and both have their place

I was just so happy to know that so many of the christians posting here are true to the Spirit of God and the word of God and it's wisdom, regardless of it being an unpopular stance to the world..

very happy with what I have read..even the hard truths..
we all need it and there is much wisdom here.

chances are the gentlemen may want what he wants anyway..
his blinders are on..
the chance that he might see the wonderful gentle things you wrote and "get it".. lightbulb popping and all, are slim.
One thing I have learned in my years and asking God for wisdom... born of pain mind you.
is that people will do what they want to do..
they don't want to hear truth..because it goes against what they have already decided ..may as well speak the truth to them because they are going to do what they want anyway....and at least you can say you warned them...

and praise GOD those here at least speak it to them

I have nothing to add to any of these truths because it's all been well said

(applause)

Chey60 · Apr 6, 2015

DawgSoldier said:

wait, I changed my mind

You say you love your wife?

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends

tell us again that you love your wife..

gypsygirl · Apr 6, 2015

Chey60 said:

chey60:

while i agree that we all have free will and quite often, we do ask questions for answers that we may not want to hear.

but how would you feel if, on your very first day on cc, a christian site promoting christian fellowship and advice, that you had forum "regular" tell you what you posted above, "that people do what they want to do anyway".

part of the reason i have been slow to respond to this thread is because we are lacking a lot of information to make sweeping conclusions. yes, what i read was concerning to me, but your verses are no more relevant than the ones that speak to the appropriate circumstances for a christian to live apart and/or divorce his wife. however, we simply don't have enough info for the assumptions that you are making.

if it's our desire to make a difference in someone's life, perhaps we could keep a more open mind, a softer heart, and be a little slower to throw out these kind of statements?

Chey60 · Apr 7, 2015

gypsygirl said:

chey60:

while i agree that we all have free will and quite often, we do ask questions for answers that we may not want to hear.

but how would you feel if, on your very first day on cc, a christian site promoting christian fellowship and advice, that you had forum "regular" tell you what you posted above, "that people do what they want to do anyway".

part of the reason i have been slow to respond to this thread is because we are lacking a lot of information to make sweeping conclusions. yes, what i read was concerning to me, but your verses are no more relevant than the ones that speak to the appropriate circumstances for a christian to live apart and/or divorce his wife. however, we simply don't have enough info for the assumptions that you are making.

if it's our desire to make a difference in someone's life, perhaps we could keep a more open mind, a softer heart, and be a little slower to throw out these kind of statements?

not everyone sugar coats things

I'm one of them..

Jesus didn't..so why should we?
that might be your way..
it's not everyone's

thanks for the input however

gypsygirl · Apr 7, 2015

Chey60 said:

please do not compare what you said with what Jesus said. my problem with your post isn't about "sugar-coating" or even delivery. but rather, its actual message.

Jesus encouraged us, and told people where to turn in a spirit of love and a desire to see change in their life. His very purpose was to assist and direct them for their own good. He offered a "better way".

He offered HOPE in His words of life.

instead, what you offered was with attitude of dismissive judgment and sarcasm. while you may have meant well, the message in your posts were certainly not words of help, love, or encouragement. : )

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. john 13:35

zeroturbulence · Apr 7, 2015

secularhermit · Apr 7, 2015

@ a Soldier

Honestly, that approach of you wasn´t seeking biblical truth, but a potential partner (1)

A man or woman will do what he/she thinks and needs to do (2). He/she is entitled to do whatever thing he/she can (if God allows) (2)

What he does is also done by any sexual gender (3) yet there are remarkable signs of love and loyalty in the animal realm and person was honest at his desire showing his thoughts publicly, and that made me realize any person could be left when sickness comes, when I would be set in prison, if I was castrated as an eunuch, when poverty comes, whenever a divorcee said "I don´t love you anymore", etc. (3)

A smart woman (or man) won´t see it another way as a "convenient" rejection but, that man is emotionally divorced, separated... (according to what I could guess, when reading)

This feminine reaction you might have dislike, sir, wasn´t against you! Don´t take this too personal, it´s a public forum.

If you were "legally" divorced, a hurting man, your honesty will be seen the same way; and I bet you won´t be judgmental as we have been here, and your thought made me think of this:

a)When I get old, when I get sick and weak (a thing that could happenany time, if I had to take medications or anything to improve my wornhealth) What would be my FEELINGS if the women I married were seekinga partner before I died, when I so badly needed her to be with me?

b)If I get or find a woman today, I wouldn´t like to think she lookedafter me for anything I had materially, but for something "good"she saw of me, my character, my ways of being or mood.

Facts:

Thissecular life has too many chances that, if I found a nice lookingwoman, I might be thinking (at my convenience) she looked "beautiful"or young but, at my age (at 53) the women I would like can see me asan old monster, not only for my time of life or anything I could belacking; just because the way they also think when seeking their man(at their convenience) comparing him with their personal likes and,whenever they saw as weakness, lacks of strengths, a big chest, asocial good shape, an athletic stature (or anything they could haveliked) that "poor" man seeking another mate has utterlyendangered himself to be left, like a dog who was been hit by a caron the lane of an empty street.

Chancesare that either a man or a woman, could base such a "love"in health, unilaterally (as it is based in beauty or good $hape, also).

Pipp · Apr 7, 2015

What happened to "in sickness and in health , for better or worse , till death do us part" ?

secularhermit · Apr 7, 2015

I hope this video serve you, sir.

[video]https://youtu.be/p0fTEe9szy8[/video]

DawgSoldier · Apr 7, 2015

I am not trying for sympathy or to convince anyone that my judgement is correct. You have all made some good points and I am reconsidering things .But she is on psychological drugs and everything I did got her angry. She could not bear to be around me anymore.

blue_ladybug · Apr 7, 2015

DawgSoldier said:

the fact remains, she's your wife, she is ill, and she does need you whether she realizes it or not. Now stop pretending your single and go stand by your wife in her time of need. Honor your vows of "in sickness and health."

Chey60 · Apr 7, 2015

blue_ladybug said:

zeroturbulence said:

gypsygirl said:

zeroturbulence · Apr 7, 2015

Chey60 said:

In your defense, I believe the truth you spoke is similar in nature to the truth that Jesus spoke about the many who choose the path of destruction instead of the narrow path to salvation..

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. "For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
(Matthew 7:13-14 NIV)

...but then again, what do I know.. I'm just a silly sad ninja..

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Married but posting in Christian Single ,Why?

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