I'm sure it helps, but it's not the only way. Most cultures had some degree of arranged marriages. Either a spouse was completely decided by the parents, or the parents would choose the candidates. This was evidently a very robust system since it persisted throughout nearly all of human history, including most Biblical relationships. This form is extremely utility-focused, but it does not mean that these marriages are less intimate. I think it might be better than the west's dating culture because the marriage is founded on responsibilities rather than compatibility.
One negative to dating is that you can become accustomed to dropping out of the relationship if the person is below your standards - which you would not be able to do in a marriage. Dating is mostly based on what the other person can do for you, so perhaps this is one reason divorce rates are significantly higher in cultures with this practice. We generally enter marriages because we believe "This is the best person for me," rather than "This is someone I've been united with." So, when emotional lows call these ideas into question, the first one is more likely to fail. Not saying either form is perfect, but I definitely see the benefit to arrangement.
On the other hand, dating can minimize the chance of marrying someone who is a polar opposite. But I don't think most parents would choose someone who has no compatibility. So is this really an advantage?
/digression
You're absolutely right.
I used to think dating was the only way to find a wife, because that what everyone else did. I am SO grateful for the Internet, and learning more of the truth of Christianity.
I don't think dating really works. Now, I know I sound like a hypocrite because I've never had a real "relationship", but neither did the people in Biblical times. You could say that Jacob had a "relationship" with Rachel in Genesis 29 (since he had to work for seven years), but given the culture of the time, I doubt it. I doubt that Jacob even touched Rachel during that time. Of course, Jacob was deceived by going to bed with Leah, which begs the question, "How did Jacob not know who was who?" This leads me to believe that the people of the day were very cautious when it comes to even "first base".
Why don't I think dating (in the modern sense) really works? Well, if you believe what you see and hear about the idea, couples constantly touch each other, kiss each other, and are very emotionally connected to each other, all this even before marriage. Now, I'm not talking about Biblical courtship, I'm talking about dating as is portrayed in the world. It is written, "Treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity" (I Timothy 5:2). How can you be pure with someone you're not married to if you're temped to get fresh with them? And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about first base! This is the basis behind biblical courtship, and prohibition of kissing until marriage.
OK, so how does a guy who is "burning with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9) find a wife to, for one thing, finally have that release of sexual tension (which is not the only part of marriage, mind you)?
I totally agree with the idea of arranged marriages and betrothals, because the basis of the marriage is not mere "compatibility", nor is it "romantic love", but rather what is written in the Word of God. It's more practical than romantic. THAT is love. I have always told people, "I'd rather have someone butt ugly who will stay with me for life than someone drop-dead gorgeous who will not commit." Is this desperation? Maybe. Is it a sin? No. The sin is sexual immorality, and in marriage, denying someone "due benevolence" when needed. (I Corinthians 7:3-5, KJV wording). I am not in it solely for the sex. I'm in it to do what's right because I still get horny.
I'm not saying courtship and "biblical dating" is wrong, because it's certainly better than worldly dating. However, just yapping about it won't get me a wife, so I am willing to date, not worldly style, but giving my pitch (in love) to a maiden and her family, with a little bit of Mr. Wonderful thrown in. BUT REMEMBER! Think of the other person's needs and desires as well, as you all already know.
