losing a 7yr friendship

[Gabriel7672]

so I'll keep this as short as i can, it's kind of dramatic sorry i hope i am not breaking any rules ._. i read them all and hesitated to post.

short version i erased the longer one 3x longer i talk to much sorry!

i met a girl online talked for years then met her in person, my family took her in and my parents treated and thought of her as a daughter when her fam wouldn't, she asked me out we dated 3yrs and she pressured me for marriage after a year i wanted to but wasn't ready, i introduced her to a game when i felt i shouldn't (to keep close) during her visit home i asked for a break to collect my thoughts and prepare for marriage, she forgot. she flew out and stayed with my best friend from the game for 2 weeks, she visited me a month ago and dumped it all on me and she was dating him now, but made moves on me during said visit after telling me (she still felt something she only known this other guy a month)
she left, i tried to hurt myself and she stopped me, crying and blaming herself, but now holds it against me for what i said when i had lost it, my parents sent her letters of love letting her know they where here for her and she insulted them and boasted of her parents thinking we where attacking her.
and now she is ready to walk out of my life, how did i go from getting ready for eternity to i'm losing my best friend of 7yrs over a guy she's known maybe two months, she has hurt me and my family to our soul but we still love her and i felt compelled by god even now to not give up

i changed after the night i tried to hurt myself and have been fighting only to keep our friendship went back to church and praying none stop, i realize how selfish i was in the past the wrongs i did and i have turned from them.

i just got out of a video call with her she's engaged to this guy now.

 

[Philippians4]

tough boat my advise pray and read Philippians 4 thats a tough situation with any one you should not be pressured to be push to marry right away it should be God's timing not ours.

 

[cmarieh]

so I'll keep this as short as i can, it's kind of dramatic sorry i hope i am not breaking any rules ._. i read them all and hesitated to post.

short version i erased the longer one 3x longer i talk to much sorry!

i met a girl online talked for years then met her in person, my family took her in and my parents treated and thought of her as a daughter when her fam wouldn't, she asked me out we dated 3yrs and she pressured me for marriage after a year i wanted to but wasn't ready, i introduced her to a game when i felt i shouldn't (to keep close) during her visit home i asked for a break to collect my thoughts and prepare for marriage, she forgot. she flew out and stayed with my best friend from the game for 2 weeks, she visited me a month ago and dumped it all on me and she was dating him now, but made moves on me during said visit after telling me (she still felt something she only known this other guy a month)
she left, i tried to hurt myself and she stopped me, crying and blaming herself, but now holds it against me for what i said when i had lost it, my parents sent her letters of love letting her know they where here for her and she insulted them and boasted of her parents thinking we where attacking her.
and now she is ready to walk out of my life, how did i go from getting ready for eternity to i'm losing my best friend of 7yrs over a guy she's known maybe two months, she has hurt me and my family to our soul but we still love her and i felt compelled by god even now to not give up

i changed after the night i tried to hurt myself and have been fighting only to keep our friendship went back to church and praying none stop, i realize how selfish i was in the past the wrongs i did and i have turned from them.

i just got out of a video call with her she's engaged to this guy now.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is really hard to know that she hurt you and your family and from everything you have said about what she has done you are better off with her in your life. It sounds like she doesn't even know what she wants and you deserve a young woman that does know what she wants. Granted, I could be all wrong here but maybe God wants you to intercede for her. Follow, what God tells you to do on the matter only him would know how best to handle it. I will put you on my prayer list that God will show you what next to do on this matter. Keep your eyes set on the Lord because you want God's best for your life.

 

[Gabriel7672]

tough boat my advise pray and read Philippians 4 thats a tough situation with any one you should not be pressured to be push to marry right away it should be God's timing not ours.

thank you i will read it for sure! i haven't read cover to cover so i find it hard to know exactly where to look for what, appreciate it!

 

[Gabriel7672]

thank you cmarieh
truly i will and i appreciate your sentiment it means a lot i'm know not all the paths but god does and he loves me and i will have faith, and do my best and i hope you'll all do the same i wish you well too

 

[Gabriel7672]

(i hope i'm not spamming with all my replies)

I just wanted everyone to know that i worked out a way we can still be friends, it felt kind of half hearted from her while i was pooring my heart out, but we're friends sorta, at least we're not fighting each other, and i hope if its gods will he ends up with her that he is a good man and my feelings of him being dangerous are wrong, and if i'm right she realizes so quickly

but i could see in her eyes the person who i used to know once again and i feel sad but at peace inside for the first time in weeks, i think things are going to start to be okay, baby steps i guess.

p.s i just find it "ironic" how this all happened just shortly after i got up the courage to write and post this, the timing is well "too perfect"

truly though thank you everyone who read and commented and even those who didnt comment, thank you for just being here when this lost soul needed to tell his story and have some compassion, thank you all from the bottom of my heart

 

[blue_ladybug]

The fact she cheated on you, then started dating him while putting moves on you, tells me that she's not real sincere about being in a faithful relationship. Tell her to leave you alone since she's dating him, and stop video visiting with her.

 

[Gabriel7672]

The fact she cheated on you, then started dating him while putting moves on you, tells me that she's not real sincere about being in a faithful relationship. Tell her to leave you alone since she's dating him, and stop video visiting with her.

aye, i feel like the danger has passed but i feel compelled to leave things be for now, but i have also felt strongly that should not give up on her and that this man is dangerous and i do not wish to leave a fellow child of god and long term friend with someone dangerous, she might be, being an idiot selfish and foolish and hurtful but I think she can be pulled into the light, maybe this is her trial maybe she has to be broken down and hurt before she comes back to my family maybe god is saving me from her because of her wickedness, i know not but for now i'm just gunna leave her added and try to go about my life without really involving myself with her

you are right though and i need to distance myself for now let things fall where they may and have faith things will work out. for now she is not the same person i once knew and speaks hallow words and is lying to herself, and hopefully with time faith n my own hard work i can bring back the person i once knew, but that is up to her time and God.

thank you, and for the advice I appreciate and will keep in mind, truly it is good to have fellow kind spirits who will listen and write me feelings advice and kind words

 

[tourist]

You don't need all of this drama. Forget about her. Time to move forward.

 

[PeterJens]

my best friend of 7yrs

Get real my friend, you had a best friend, she wanted a lover, but neither of you was satisfied. The problem is she is hurt that you where not attracted to her in the way she was, and you do not want intimacy at this level. If after 7 years something this fundemental had not resolved, it never would and would lead to something much worse.

I speak from knowing many girls who I knew as friends, but without the chemistry until I literally fell in love with my wife. Now it took 2 years to work out how the relationship would work, and it was tough, and i needed to grow, but after 3 kids, having live kick the s__t out of us, without this love, we would not have survived.

Unfortunately unbalanced relationships happen but they will die, because that tension cannot be maintained forever. Unfortunately a real friendship lost also hurts, but that also shows the value you really had, which is a good memory.

 

[MysteryReader101]

so I'll keep this as short as i can, it's kind of dramatic sorry i hope i am not breaking any rules ._. i read them all and hesitated to post.

short version i erased the longer one 3x longer i talk to much sorry!

i met a girl online talked for years then met her in person, my family took her in and my parents treated and thought of her as a daughter when her fam wouldn't, she asked me out we dated 3yrs and she pressured me for marriage after a year i wanted to but wasn't ready, i introduced her to a game when i felt i shouldn't (to keep close) during her visit home i asked for a break to collect my thoughts and prepare for marriage, she forgot. she flew out and stayed with my best friend from the game for 2 weeks, she visited me a month ago and dumped it all on me and she was dating him now, but made moves on me during said visit after telling me (she still felt something she only known this other guy a month)
she left, i tried to hurt myself and she stopped me, crying and blaming herself, but now holds it against me for what i said when i had lost it, my parents sent her letters of love letting her know they where here for her and she insulted them and boasted of her parents thinking we where attacking her.
and now she is ready to walk out of my life, how did i go from getting ready for eternity to i'm losing my best friend of 7yrs over a guy she's known maybe two months, she has hurt me and my family to our soul but we still love her and i felt compelled by god even now to not give up

i changed after the night i tried to hurt myself and have been fighting only to keep our friendship went back to church and praying none stop, i realize how selfish i was in the past the wrongs i did and i have turned from them.

i just got out of a video call with her she's engaged to this guy now.

I am sorry that you had to go through all that. Don't let it get you down. Because she is the one who wronged you. Not the other way around. You need to for give her for hurting you and your family. Then just keep praying for her to see the light. Remind me next time to tell you about what my ex best friend did to me. I hope all this talking about it has made you feel some what better. God bless.