How to overcome illicit sexual viewing

ServantStrike · Jan 5, 2015

Rush said:

I wouldn't recommend attempting to memorize their faces. That might end up being counterproductive.

Reading up on the stats regarding how many of them die young and the disease stats might help though. That and the human trafficking angle. It's a pretty bad industry.

Sirk · Jan 5, 2015

You can try to quit viewing porn on your own will power which rarely works...or you can chase down the insecurity in you that causes this issue and pull it up by the roots.

Sirk · Jan 5, 2015

justin777 said:

I want you do to something....every time you are tempted...first tell yourself that you are feeling insecure and then ask yourself about what. Because I would argue that virtually all sin has at its core an insecurity of one sort or another.

justin777 · Jan 5, 2015

Kaycie said:

I tried to get a wife I've asked multiple women who I know really well if they would ever consider marrying me. And I've asked many girls to be my girlfriend and I've been rejected so many times by the ones I actually like.

secularhermit · Jan 5, 2015

justin777 said:

If you are that age, your hormones are working well, at least.

In prayers, ask God for guidance. It doesn´t matter you called it pictures. On the streets those emotions are alive (and kicking).

You are what you eat! If you don´t make physical exercises, if you go to some places... There would be a feedback! Are you jogging somewhere?

But, if you dearly re-direct the push, to pray for a miracle (to find a wife out) the simple way is closing your eyes.

What would happen if you were married tomorrow?

Will you think differently?

Will you stop that addiction of looking?

When I was married, more than once, I saw the wrong person I should look at, so, licit or not, you know it better.

secularhermit · Jan 5, 2015

Kaycie said:

I can't be a hypocrite, just as you turn to that I turn to food for pleasure and stress relief. I guess we need to do the same thing- realize that it doesn't solve our problems. We both need to go to the root in our minds and change the way we're thinking. You know, there is no love in lust. Have you sought a wife that you could love and would love you back? Wouldn't it be a load off your conscience if it was spiritually legal with no guilt attatched? Then you would see that other stuff as it really is- trash. The saying is also true spiritually- you are what you eat. If you don't want to feel like garbage, quit feeding on garbage. I know this is easier said than done, but we both know all things are possible with the Lord who strengthens us. This year I'm going to try really hard to lose weight, when I get home from vacation.

wow!

If I had read here, before posting mine, I wouldn´ t have said "more".

mistah · Jan 6, 2015

ServantStrike said:

Yep. Thank you, servantstrike. How about we not use Grace as a license to sin, right? Like: Let me, like, watch porn so that I can pray for porn "actors." What the heck.

Moose_Almighty · Jan 12, 2015

1: With all of your heart, make a honest promise to God that you won't go back into whatever you were viewing. Stick with that promise and throw a reminder poster of Jesus in the places you do your personal business. For starters, your desktop background.

2: Because of the way the human body works, the internal urge is going to want you to keep going. To combat that, go on a masturbating binge but only through your own personal lustful thoughts and not through the aid of images. Within a few days of your masturbating binge, you'll end up going dry and you will fatigue any lustful thoughts out of your head. From there you can start fresh and become completely accountable with your actions. Be strong for God, be strong for Jesus, get involved with the church and or the community, just stay busy! It's when you have nothing to do the urges will start creeping back out of boredom. Not saying it's impossible, but when the lust creeps back your way, do your best to keep your focus on Jesus and turn away from it. You can fight any temptation if you believe and want to beat it. But hypothetically if you do give in, only masturbate to your own personal lustful thoughts and not through any type of aids or images. By doing it through your own mind and fatiguing it, the images of what you once saw will eventually go away.

Lynx · Jan 12, 2015

Um...

*Lynx jams both front paws in his mouth to avoid saying something and walks away.

ChandlerFan · Jan 13, 2015

All I will say is that sin begets sin. Going on a lusting binge is not going to clear up a lust problem lol...just as you wouldn't advise an alcoholic to go on a drinking binge to get rid of his drinking problem.

Moose_Almighty · Jan 13, 2015

Going on a masturbating binge that is not provided byany objects, aids, movies, or pictures will most definitely help you overcomeyour porn addition whether you like the idea or not. Without the aids you will fatigue your lustful thoughtsright out of your brain to the point where if you even somewhat think about it,you are completely discussed with your past actions and will ask yourself whyyou even did it in the first place? It'slike in the old days when parents caught their kids smoking, they made theirkids chain smoke packs of cigarettes until they were absolutely sick of it and willnever do it again. It's the same exact concept but you can only use your ownpersonal thoughts to do the deed and nothing else. If you do use lustful aids(pictures, movies, objects, etc.) that's where the devil will get you andcapture your interest again and you're back on the porn addiction triangle ofdoom...

Yousee, most Christian's won't be able to relate to certain sins because theynever walked in someone else's shoes on certain topics and or situations. Whatmay sound like an easy solution for a Christian might be added torment for otherswho are trying to overcome that sin. My philosophy is, unless you're a personwho has been there or willing jumped into the fire of that specific sin andwalked out alive with a real solution to overcome it, your answer is more validthan of those who pretend to know. In retrospect, God bless those who arewilling to help, nothing against them, praise be their light! But I personallyplay in the dark a lot looking for these answers so anytime I see the opportunity, I will jump in and give a piece of my mind whether the solutions towards victory sound flattering or not.

Whetherthe viewers like it or not, my answer is the most real solution to beating yourporn addiction because I have personally been in your shoes. I know exactly what hell you're facing, the torment and regret that's eating you alive every time you release the goods, but you know what? I overcame it and you can too my friend,praise be to God! By doing what I told you, believing in yourself, and havingtotal faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, you can honestly beat it within a week withoutever going back.

If you need anything or want to talk about it? message me, i'm willing to listen and hear you out.

God Bless!

ChandlerFan · Jan 13, 2015

As someone who knows this battle well, I appreciate your intent to encourage and help someone in their struggle, but your advice is really bad for so many reasons. Common sense says that your solution is not at all realistic, and encouraging someone to walk further into a sinful lifestyle rather than away from it is not godly wisdom or advice. You would never see a sexual addictions counselor suggest this to one of their clients. There are many reasons for this, one being that every time a person engages in this kind of sexual behavior, dopamine levels in the brain go up as a reward response. This in turn causes cravings for the same reward response later on. It's similar to the way that tire tracks would get deeper over time as a truck drives across the same path over and over. Every time a person engages in that type of sexual behavior, those neuropathways get deeper, more entrenched, and more difficult to break away from. Sexual addiction literally rewires the brain. For those who can't break away, sexual addiction can be deadly. Your advice also assumes that the issue is simply not being able to stop doing a specific behavior when it runs so much deeper than that. It involves past hurts, deeply-held beliefs about oneself, and more. The bottom line here is that your advice is going to make things more difficult for almost everyone who tries it, and if you really want to help people you will not continue advising them in that way.

Moose_Almighty · Jan 13, 2015

"Common sense says that your solution is not at all realistic, and encouraging someone to walk further into a sinful lifestyle rather than away from it is not godly wisdom or advice."

Common sense does suggest it, but common sense also suggested that launching B25 bombers off the USS Hornet Aircraft Carrier would encourage suicide to all crews aboard. Sometimes the smallest risk is worth taking if there's the will to annihilate the problem. I'm living proof it works.

The cravings get depleted if you fatigue it out of your system in a non pornographic manner. I do agree if you use actual pornographic images or whatever to assist you in your business, then you're only driving deeper into your own hell.

"The bottom line here is that your advice is going to make things more difficult for almost everyone who tries it, and if you really want to help people you will not continue advising them in that way."

How do you know it's going to make things more difficult if I'm the first to bring this solution to light? I did the whole put your heart to Jesus cold turkey method and I always fell back into the addiction. Through trial and error learning what works and what doesn't, this allows the person with the addiction to gradually get all of the pornographic images out of their mind in a non abusive manner, I know it works because again I am living proof. You're not abusing it if you're not looking at it, it's no different than controlling your own wet dream. Consider the non pornographic approach of masturbation the vapor cigarettes method of quitting smoking. Eventually you will lose complete interest in masturbation all together and beat the system. If you do it the way I mentioned, it will only take a week to beat your addiction. You can debate with me all you want but it's guaranteed to work.

God Bless!

ChandlerFan · Jan 14, 2015

The fact that you're the first to bring it to light only indicates further that it's not an advisable practice. "I'm living proof it works" is not a good enough reason when there is empirical evidence (which you did not quote or comment on from my previous post) that indicates that it would be harmful for anyone to go that route, and biblically we are called away from a life of sin. When science and the Bible aren't on your side, it's probably time to find a different argument

Lynx · Jan 14, 2015

Yeah. The cigarette thing only works because overdosing on nicotine makes you very sick, and parents count on the getting sick thing to make their kids avoid cigarettes in the future. Overdosing in this area is not a good prescription for avoidance. Or rather, it's a good prescription to avoid.

jamie26301 · Apr 26, 2015

sc81 said:

This. I believe in teaching to respect yourself as well as the other person in the choice of sex. You should say no because you respect yourself, and your boy/girlfriend, in relations to what you two are ready for (consequences as well as pleasure) NOT because it is sinful. Teens need to be taught, first and foremost, how to communicate openly and honestly with those they love and have feelings for, along with their respect for God.

I've said this before, but teaching sex as the prime goodie of marriage is counterproductive. Because no relationship can live on sex. When you teach it is the reward of marriage, you imply it as the pillar for which the marriage stands or falls. You set up an idealistic fantasy in the minds of young people when you paint it as this ultra-magical experience. That's why porn addictions wreck relationships - the films causes the man to lose touch with what real sex is, and thus is not as satisfied by his wife. Porn is wrong, imo, for the same reason such forbiddance of sex is wrong - it creates unrealistic expectations of the act itself when it comes - ironically, while also painting it as lewd and horribly wrong at the same time in the present.

There may be a point where one partner CAN'T have sex, for psychological or physiological reasons. I'm not saying it's taught that sex is the only reason to get married, but it is withheld, WHILE EVERYTHING ELSE, MORE important emotional benefits of a marriage, is allowed. You can share yourself with someone in every way but residence and body - how does that not condition one to think that is all that holds the marriage together, since it is only allowed for marriage? And how is something that is wrong made right because of a piece of paper? You can get baptized and it be just "getting wet" if your heart is not right, but every marriage certificate is written by the finger of God regardless of the heart? In the eyes of the world, you are married, and that is required by the Church, to regard one married as the world does. Using the world's standards to define the institution. What?

Because a man decided we were worthy of marriage? This is another reason teaching strict forbiddance is dangerous - if you spend the better part of your youth, say until you're 30, resistancing sex under the idea it is sin, that mindset is probably NOT going to magically disappear when you're married. Your default is still "this is wrong" because that's the only way you ever thought of it. Many couples struggle to satisfy one another, and because they often enter into it with ignorance and naivety of the subject, that frustration is often fatal to the marriage, along with other life pressures... one reason sex is really good for a marriage because it is a release, and helps the couple relax and bond - it is psychological, as much as it is physical. This is NOT to say that unbelievers are soooo much better at marriage and selection of spouse.

I've said this before: I think it's great if one is lead by God to wait, meets a great man/woman, and has a wonderful marriage. I am not discouraging that, and I think it is ideal and good for a clean slate in terms of the wedding bed... however, if you write on that clean slate for a few decades with "sin" "shame" "unholy" "carnal" then it is going to be hard to wipe away. When couples do find they are having intimacy trouble, it is still thought taboo oftentimes for them to get some kind of sex aids, or even sex counseling - because that's not leaning on God, you see. So, couples are often restricted within the marriage itself how to fix it and please one another, because the act itself has certain possibilities that are "perverse" even between monogamous, heretosexual married couples.

I submit there are some Christian circles that are not near this prudish, and advocate things a person can do before marriage to be ready for intimacy, while maintaining sex for marriage alone. So I know not all circles are this strict.

jamie26301 · Apr 26, 2015

Easing off porn addiction little by little, I imagine, would be easier. Porn addiction is similar, it really is. Because there is a psychological need as much as there is a physical one. I haven't struggled with that, but I understand it.

I wonder if any of these critics ever struggled with porn. How did you two fix your problem? If you never had the problem, how can you relate to the frustration and lure of it? I'm not pulling the "if you haven't been there, don't say anything" but there is some truth to the tendency of people oversimplifying a problem they've never had and it's magical, instant solution.

Willie-T · Apr 26, 2015

There really IS an answer that works.

If I get a PM from you, I will consider you serious about this.

secularhermit · Apr 26, 2015

"I wonder if any of these critics ever struggled with porn"

"Because there is a psychological need as much as there is a physical one."

Be assured some "critics" knew it 1st hand.

jb · Apr 26, 2015

justin777 said:

Dan 1v8: "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself..." with Isaiah 40v31, 1Cor 10v13, 2Cor 12v9, Phil 4v8, James 4v6-8, 1Peter 2v1-3

Yahweh Shalom

How to overcome illicit sexual viewing

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