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I find this disturbing behavior exhibited by your husband. I am surmising that you have told him that his ogling of women is hurtful to you. Apparently, he doesn't care about your feelings.
How old are the both of you and how long have you been married? Kids? There is not a whole lot to go on at this time.
His behavior does not give you a license to be unfaithful but it can certainly be destructive in a marriage.
How old are the both of you and how long have you been married? Kids? There is not a whole lot to go on at this time.
His behavior does not give you a license to be unfaithful but it can certainly be destructive in a marriage.
C
I dont think its right to disregard someone just because of previous mistakes. His porn addiction is something he took care of on his own long ago after being saved. And like i said he wasnt acting like this until recently and yes i have told him. He has apologized. I just dont understand what changed. We were courting 2 years. Married dec 2014. Recently pregnantpregnant. Two children from prev marriage.
E
nah...no one ever takes care of their porn addiction and don't you believe it...God can take care of a porn addiction, but I think your post demonstrates that even you don't think your husband took care of it
nothing changed...it just resurfaced...I knowI am sounding a bit trite, but I understand this really hurts you
a person has to be willing to change...I know his actions make you feel less, but it is his problem..the thing is, of course, it hurts you
I've gotta log off...but I'm sure others will respond
But here's a question you have most likely already thought about:
Why do YOU think this happening?
nothing changed...it just resurfaced...I knowI am sounding a bit trite, but I understand this really hurts you
a person has to be willing to change...I know his actions make you feel less, but it is his problem..the thing is, of course, it hurts you
I've gotta log off...but I'm sure others will respond
But here's a question you have most likely already thought about:
Why do YOU think this happening?
G
Not enough information for a correct response to "don't understand what changed."
Sit him down and have a TALK with him.
Recently pregnant? Is that a hint to "I gained some weight, and so he..."? So sorry if that's the case.
If that's it, I don't understand your husband.
I mean this with all tact and purity: wife with child - including the months when she is 'showing' - then after the delivery, stretch marks and all - are far more than physical. Every bit of all that strengthens the husband's love and commitment to his wife. And yes, all those changes upon her body speak of love, oneness, union, life, and even upwards to God. (I'm done. You understand.)
A man . . . A MAN . . . matures through his wife's labor of love.
But I don't know all about your situation. Sorry. Just noticed "changed" with "pregnant".
Sit him down and have a TALK with him.
Recently pregnant? Is that a hint to "I gained some weight, and so he..."? So sorry if that's the case.
If that's it, I don't understand your husband.
I mean this with all tact and purity: wife with child - including the months when she is 'showing' - then after the delivery, stretch marks and all - are far more than physical. Every bit of all that strengthens the husband's love and commitment to his wife. And yes, all those changes upon her body speak of love, oneness, union, life, and even upwards to God. (I'm done. You understand.)
A man . . . A MAN . . . matures through his wife's labor of love.
But I don't know all about your situation. Sorry. Just noticed "changed" with "pregnant".
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I'm terribly sorry you're going through this now. I struggled for many yrs with this. First thing I would say is this has NOTHING to do with you in the sense of feeling at all like he's not attracted you. This is ENTIRELY on him.
Secondly, you say he's saved, good. But if he (or anybody else) is not constantly feeding the Spirit, then they WILL be feeding the flesh. You cannot do both at once, and you are always doing one or the other.
He needs to be reading Scripture DAILY, praying with you DAILY, joining a men's Bible study, getting off the computer, stop watching inappropriate TV or movies. I'd be willing to bet if his eyes are constantly wandering on real women, he hasn't given up on porn women. If he reeeally wants to give up this lustful thinking then he needs to feed his Spirit.
I pray in Jesus name that your husband will focus on the Lord and subsequently on you and his family.
Secondly, you say he's saved, good. But if he (or anybody else) is not constantly feeding the Spirit, then they WILL be feeding the flesh. You cannot do both at once, and you are always doing one or the other.
He needs to be reading Scripture DAILY, praying with you DAILY, joining a men's Bible study, getting off the computer, stop watching inappropriate TV or movies. I'd be willing to bet if his eyes are constantly wandering on real women, he hasn't given up on porn women. If he reeeally wants to give up this lustful thinking then he needs to feed his Spirit.
I pray in Jesus name that your husband will focus on the Lord and subsequently on you and his family.
CaJe,
The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide Psalm 37:31.
God died that all may be saved if one chooses the invitation of God but not all will be saved because of a lie they believed and refusal to come out of Babylon.
Did God chose this man for you or did you chose this man for yourself?
God breaths life into people and not destruction. If couples take their vows seriously, they will believe what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Not all couples are joined together by God is why they are asunder. God can even heal marriages that He never ordained but in this situation, both couples have to make a decision for Christ if they want love and unity in marriage.
The best thing you can do sis is place all at Jesus feet and He will do whatever He sees fit to save you ,your husband and child from a world of hurt. I pray it all works out for you. Be patient with God.
I
your mates attitude is disrespectful to that person (do not covet thee neighbor's wife), you, detrimental to himself, and sin to God. i was guilty to similar lust in my season, but i grew up. it's an addiction, a healthy desire turned out of control. self control is a gift of the spirit. sexual lust is one of the tougher ones but you have my prayers.
If this is how you feel, then it seems you have this idea in your head that you've done your husband some kind of "favour" by marrying him and he should be grateful, "because you didn't have to".
That attitude alone would grate on me.
I'm not trying to be mean, but Devil's Advocate has a purpose. No marital issue is ever solely one party's independent doing. There are conditions, circumstances, causes and effects.
For instance, do you make effort with him sexually? Do you demand, control, or berate rather than ask, express, and speak?
Turn the finger inwards and try to allow yourself to let go of feeling "hard-done-by", and feeling like "you did him a favour", and consider him your equal and you his equal, and then look at the problem from both sides.
Talk to him. Go out for ice-cream together, allow him to hear what you feel, and listen to his response, carefully, attentively, and without judgement. Talking honestly, kindly, and patiently, when both of you are comfortable to do so, is the best medicine for any relationship problem.
That attitude alone would grate on me.
I'm not trying to be mean, but Devil's Advocate has a purpose. No marital issue is ever solely one party's independent doing. There are conditions, circumstances, causes and effects.
For instance, do you make effort with him sexually? Do you demand, control, or berate rather than ask, express, and speak?
Turn the finger inwards and try to allow yourself to let go of feeling "hard-done-by", and feeling like "you did him a favour", and consider him your equal and you his equal, and then look at the problem from both sides.
Talk to him. Go out for ice-cream together, allow him to hear what you feel, and listen to his response, carefully, attentively, and without judgement. Talking honestly, kindly, and patiently, when both of you are comfortable to do so, is the best medicine for any relationship problem.