Getting him to lead..

[GodGoesOn]

I'd like to ask my husband to study the Bible with me and pray with me, to except his role a the leader and to lead us towards God! ( We believe his spiritual gifts are Leading and Teaching) so how to I encourage him to do so with me when he seems not to want to, and hasn't even been reading on his own time daily....?

 

[MarcR]

I realize this is drastic but it may get his attention:

Try not doing any housework for a couple of days. When he asks why, tell him you decided to follow his leadership in rejecting your role in the house and will continue to follow his leadership until he accepts his role so you can resume yours.

 

[Joidevivre]

I would pray and ask the Lord how you are to handle this subject.

For years, my husband was the same way, and I worried, because I thought he had to the spiritual head of our home. I have never seen any verse in the bible that says SPIRITUAL head - just 'head' and the word means "in the primary place - top". But it does not say spiritual head.

In fact, you and your husband are one person now, just as Christ is one with the body. He has his role to love and serve you as Christ loved the church, and your role is to love and respect him. You both submit (defer) to each other. The husband has to take the leadership role of decision making after carefully considering your needs too. And you must submit to that.

But spiritual head? I just never read that. The Holy Spirit is the One who will lead your home in spiritual matters.

Continue to love your husband and accept him where he is at - continue to pray that the Lord will enable him to grow in understanding and knowledge of Him. And just watch. This discernment you (both?) have of his teaching and leading might be for a time yet to be. Let him come in to his season as the Holy Spirit moves him.

In closing, my husband eventually (on his own) decided we were to go to church together, and now we pray and study together. But I waited upon the Lord. He and I are both equal spiritual partners in our marriage and among our children. We each have different roles.

God bless you.

 

[ember]

I'd like to ask my husband to study the Bible with me and pray with me, to except his role a the leader and to lead us towards God! ( We believe his spiritual gifts are Leading and Teaching) so how to I encourage him to do so with me when he seems not to want to, and hasn't even been reading on his own time daily....?

who believes his gifts are leading and teaching?

 

[GodGoesOn]

Both him and me. We got a test from our pastor to help us get a good idea of how to know and his highest score was tied on them two

 

[mystikmind]

I think your taking the 'leader' role way too seriously by allowing it to be an obstacle to you and your husbands spiritual growth.

 

[GodGoesOn]

Father and mother are both regular churchgoers:

33 per cent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers with a further 41 per cent attending irregularly. Only a quarter of their children will end up not practising at all.

– Father is an irregular and mother a regular churchgoer:

only three per cent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, though a further 59 per cent will become irregulars. Thirty-eight per cent will be lost.

– Father is non-practising and mother a regular churchgoer:

only 2 per cent of children will become regular worshippers, and 37 per cent will attend sporadically. Over 60 per cent of the children will be lost completely to the Church.

Pretty shocking stuff — something to keep in mind when you’re thinking about marriage and a family.

If you look at a father’s consistent attendance, something else happens —

– Father is a regular churchgoer and mother irregular or non-practising:

the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 per cent to 38 per cent and 44 per cent, respectively… Where mother is less regular than father but attends occasionally her presence ensures that, overall, only a quarter of her children will never attend at all.

– Father is an irregular churchgoer and mother non-practising:

25 per cent of their children as regular attenders in their future life and a further 23 per cent as irregulars. This is 12 times the congregational yield where the roles are reversed!

 

[mystikmind]

Father and mother are both regular churchgoers:

33 per cent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers with a further 41 per cent attending irregularly. Only a quarter of their children will end up not practising at all.

– Father is an irregular and mother a regular churchgoer:

only three per cent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, though a further 59 per cent will become irregulars. Thirty-eight per cent will be lost.

– Father is non-practising and mother a regular churchgoer:

only 2 per cent of children will become regular worshippers, and 37 per cent will attend sporadically. Over 60 per cent of the children will be lost completely to the Church.

Pretty shocking stuff — something to keep in mind when you’re thinking about marriage and a family.

If you look at a father’s consistent attendance, something else happens —

– Father is a regular churchgoer and mother irregular or non-practising:

the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 per cent to 38 per cent and 44 per cent, respectively… Where mother is less regular than father but attends occasionally her presence ensures that, overall, only a quarter of her children will never attend at all.

– Father is an irregular churchgoer and mother non-practising:

25 per cent of their children as regular attenders in their future life and a further 23 per cent as irregulars. This is 12 times the congregational yield where the roles are reversed!

Interesting, but i do not think being Christian is about who your parents are, yes it helps, but the world is so complicated you could go crazy thinking about what helps and what hinders and what is fair and what is unfair! Just leave it in Gods hands.

 

[GodGoesOn]

Thank you! Though I do wish for more I guess that's the devil taking advantage of the weakness I've been facing, I should leave it to God!

 

[pwrnJC]

Uh, speaking purely as a husband....do not goad, prod or force him at all. Let him know..even with a few butterfly kisses, that you have his best interest at heart and will be praying and making it a matter of concern between you and GOD for him to not procrastinate his role, using his spiritual gifts. Leave it at that..and, perhaps in a couple of weeks or so, give him a hint, nothing more....period...HE has to do it willingly, openly or not at all. When my dad was in seminary, I remember him coming home one night and saying to me.."Wow, there are a lot of Mama called and Daddy sent preachers out there!" IF you catch my drift, he has to have his own gumption, with your support, which obvious, he already has.

 

[atwhatcost]

I'd like to ask my husband to study the Bible with me and pray with me, to except his role a the leader and to lead us towards God! ( We believe his spiritual gifts are Leading and Teaching) so how to I encourage him to do so with me when he seems not to want to, and hasn't even been reading on his own time daily....?

Encouraging is just that -- encouraging. If he doesn't want to, it gets into nagging if you keep pressing. You may well believe those are his spiritual gifts. If God believes it too, it will happen. In the meantime, encourage what he needs to be encouraged about.

If you haven't asked him to spend time with you in studying the Bible and praying, then ask. And, accept his answer.

 

[atwhatcost]

Father and mother are both regular churchgoers:

33 per cent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers with a further 41 per cent attending irregularly. Only a quarter of their children will end up not practising at all.

– Father is an irregular and mother a regular churchgoer:

only three per cent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, though a further 59 per cent will become irregulars. Thirty-eight per cent will be lost.

– Father is non-practising and mother a regular churchgoer:

only 2 per cent of children will become regular worshippers, and 37 per cent will attend sporadically. Over 60 per cent of the children will be lost completely to the Church.

Pretty shocking stuff — something to keep in mind when you’re thinking about marriage and a family.

If you look at a father’s consistent attendance, something else happens —

– Father is a regular churchgoer and mother irregular or non-practising:

the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 per cent to 38 per cent and 44 per cent, respectively… Where mother is less regular than father but attends occasionally her presence ensures that, overall, only a quarter of her children will never attend at all.

– Father is an irregular churchgoer and mother non-practising:

25 per cent of their children as regular attenders in their future life and a further 23 per cent as irregulars. This is 12 times the congregational yield where the roles are reversed!

Was that the test? Yikes!

Here's a better statistic: 100% of what God wants he gets -- with or without our permission. Read Jonah for the evidence of that one. Or, read the whole Bible for the evidence of that one.

 

[presidente]

I realize this is drastic but it may get his attention:

Try not doing any housework for a couple of days. When he asks why, tell him you decided to follow his leadership in rejecting your role in the house and will continue to follow his leadership until he accepts his role so you can resume yours.

That may not work if she's already passed her tolerance level for how messy a house can be, and it hasn't bothered him yet.

 

[GodGoesOn]

Thank you all! I guess I've just been becoming very weak and I know why. I just feel so far off I suppose. So thank you all for reminding me that it's in the hands of God and if I remain faithful to him I have nothing to worry about he never failed and never will. The best I can do is offer to pray over our meals and he will feel motivated I've tested that and it worked! I need to be his reminder his helper and telling him or asking him will do no good if I'm not preforming it in front of him myself. I prayed over our lunch and he prayed over our supper without me asking thank you all very much and God bless!

 

[GodGoesOn]

I must keep my role no matter how weak or hurt I am to show him the faithfulness of Our Lord and show him that even when we are weak the Lord is there to provide the strength to continue.

 

[ember]

Both him and me. We got a test from our pastor to help us get a good idea of how to know and his highest score was tied on them two

oh sorry...but there are no tests to see what your spiritual gifts are other than your daily life and how God uses you

God does not use a score card...

I notice you seem to have your percentiles all worked up

Did you know that 100% of believers who know God and His Son will go to heaven?

I'm really sorry to have to tell you that your Pastor has failed the test of Pastor

 

[ember]

I must keep my role no matter how weak or hurt I am to show him the faithfulness of Our Lord and show him that even when we are weak the Lord is there to provide the strength to continue.

I pray God would extend mercy into your situation. Please stop trying to manipulate your husband into being a godly man

That might even work or awhile but it won't last

Pray for him that God would strengthen him and encourage him and create a hunger for God...that is a prayer that is according to the will of God...but you just cannot force these things

 

[GodGoesOn]

Of course I must pray for him but if I don't show him or anyone else for that matter what Christ has and can do for me what would that show them? And I did not say " a test that tells you what your spiritual gift is." I said a test that helps you to find it, by asking questions about your daily lifestyle and how you view life, I am by no means trying to "manipulate" my husband to be a godly man. For one thing he is already a man of God, for before I was saved, God used him to witness to me. I am simply trying to encourage Him and remind him of God's Love and Faithfulness as he did for me before I was saved.

 

[GodGoesOn]

We should live the Christian lives through our actions not our words, and of course prayer is a big part of that.

 

[ember]

Of course I must pray for him but if I don't show him or anyone else for that matter what Christ has and can do for me what would that show them? And I did not say " a test that tells you what your spiritual gift is." I said a test that helps you to find it, by asking questions about your daily lifestyle and how you view life, I am by no means trying to "manipulate" my husband to be a godly man. For one thing he is already a man of God, for before I was saved, God used him to witness to me. I am simply trying to encourage Him and remind him of God's Love and Faithfulness as he did for me before I was saved.

OK then....carry on