Dating non-Christians?

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twamps21

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So I've been giving this alot of thought, the guys that I usually end up going for are not Christians. Not because I don't want a Christian guy but because I simply don't know many Christian guys around my age. They're usually older. I was just wondering what your thoughts on dating non Christians are. Do you think its possible for a guy to date a girl and become a believer. Are their good young Christian guys out their that I'm just missing? I'm not the type of person that needs or is even looking for a boyfriend to be happy. I was just curious on your thoughts.
 
I don't think it's ever a good idea for a Christian and non-Christian to date. God is supposed to be the center of any and all relationships. If you're with a non-Christian, where would God be? There are plenty of Christians out there, and if God wants you to He will send you a guy your way. Being single gives you a chance to grow with God, and if He sends a guy your way, you would be ready and prepared to take that step.
 
Obviously there are decent Christian guys out there.

Far as dating with the intent to convert (known as 'missionary dating) consider a few things.
-What if he influences you more than you him? (and don't say that can't happen, it can and does and if you think you are above that then your pride will definitely cause you to fall)
-What if he never gets saved, how long will you date him then?
-When you reach the point where you've gone long enough and he still doesn't get saved what kind of witness will it be that you dump him because you couldn't change him into what you wanted?
-What if he fakes being saved just to pacify you?
-Is it really and honest and sincere approach to date someone with the intent on changing them?
-How would you feel if you learned someone you dated was only doing so to change you, would you still want to be with them? Would this encourage you to look into their beliefs? Or would you be hurt and possibly view that set of beliefs, and that person, in a negative manner?
-What if you are not able/willing to emotionally end the relationship because you became close and are now stuck with a non-Christian?

Now, lets say you marry this guy. How about these questions...
-How will you enjoy spending the rest of your life knowing the person you chose to enter into a covenant between you, that person and God is bound for hell?
-What if they die sooner than you think? Are you prepared to live the rest of your life with the knowledge you gave your heart to someone you would know to be in hell?
-What if you have children? How will you explain to them the importance of your faith while also telling them that you picked someone who did not have the same emphasis on faith as you?
-How do you explain that you selected for them a parent that will go to hell?
-What if your spouses lack of belief affects your children's belief?
-If the bible says the man should be the spiritual leader how could you pick someone who is unable to fulfill that role, and then believe that is what God wants for you?

So your options are to be deceptive and manipulative in an attempt to change a person to what you want. And if they don't conform you ditch them, essentially treating them as a thing rather than a person.
Or be with someone who is unable to perform the duties of spiritual leader over his house and children while living with the knowledge that this person will not be in heaven?
Or go live your life and pray that if God wills you to be married that you will trust Him to find the right man for you, not one you lowered your standards to have.
 
Thanks jsr1221,
That helped alot I had a track coach in highschool that would always tell me not to go for anyone that wasn't in the same place in their relationship with God as I was. I know that waiting for someone like that can just hold me back from where God may want me to be.
 
twamps21 said:
Thanks jsr1221,
That helped alot I had a track coach in highschool that would always tell me not to go for anyone that wasn't in the same place in their relationship with God as I was. I know that waiting for someone like that can just hold me back from where God may want me to be.
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Yeah, it's always better to be single and content than be in a relationship but feel alone. I agree with Ugly, also. There's a chance you could marry the guy, and then the relationship would be trying to force him to be a Christian which wouldn't do anybody any good.
 
twamps21 said:
Do you think its possible for a guy to date a girl and become a believer.
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Yep.

twamps21 said:
Are their good young Christian guys out their that I'm just missing?
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Almost certainly, and there are some not so good ones as well.

twamps21 said:
I'm not the type of person that needs or is even looking for a boyfriend to be happy. I was just curious on your thoughts.
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My thoughts: In that case, don't worry about it. :) Instead, go for what does make you happy (within reason).
 
Ugly said:
Obviously there are decent Christian guys out there.

Far as dating with the intent to convert (known as 'missionary dating) consider a few things.
-What if he influences you more than you him? (and don't say that can't happen, it can and does and if you think you are above that then your pride will definitely cause you to fall)
-What if he never gets saved, how long will you date him then?
-When you reach the point where you've gone long enough and he still doesn't get saved what kind of witness will it be that you dump him because you couldn't change him into what you wanted?
-What if he fakes being saved just to pacify you?
-Is it really and honest and sincere approach to date someone with the intent on changing them?
-How would you feel if you learned someone you dated was only doing so to change you, would you still want to be with them? Would this encourage you to look into their beliefs? Or would you be hurt and possibly view that set of beliefs, and that person, in a negative manner?
-What if you are not able/willing to emotionally end the relationship because you became close and are now stuck with a non-Christian?

Now, lets say you marry this guy. How about these questions...
-How will you enjoy spending the rest of your life knowing the person you chose to enter into a covenant between you, that person and God is bound for hell?
-What if they die sooner than you think? Are you prepared to live the rest of your life with the knowledge you gave your heart to someone you would know to be in hell?
-What if you have children? How will you explain to them the importance of your faith while also telling them that you picked someone who did not have the same emphasis on faith as you?
-How do you explain that you selected for them a parent that will go to hell?
-What if your spouses lack of belief affects your children's belief?
-If the bible says the man should be the spiritual leader how could you pick someone who is unable to fulfill that role, and then believe that is what God wants for you?

So your options are to be deceptive and manipulative in an attempt to change a person to what you want. And if they don't conform you ditch them, essentially treating them as a thing rather than a person.
Or be with someone who is unable to perform the duties of spiritual leader over his house and children while living with the knowledge that this person will not be in heaven?
Or go live your life and pray that if God wills you to be married that you will trust Him to find the right man for you, not one you lowered your standards to have.
Click to expand...

I agree it's important to think about the long run in a relationship. I guess I'd rather have someone that God choses for me than someone that I may just think I want.
 
User 'Ugly' post has it spot on!

It can be daunting the thought of meeting a Born again Christian Man in todays world.. they seem so far and few apart!
personally I cling to God's Promise of all things working toward the good of those that Love Him.. in His will and time the right one will come along.. untill then hold fast!
For if He (or she, for the men) is not saved, a believer- then steer clear!
 
Generally a bad idea. The potential for change is there, but in nearly all my observances and experience, the Christian is the one who changes... for the worst. If God calls you to that relationship, then it is His plan. But you should be praying constantly so that your faith in this is clear and true, because ultimately marriage is one of the last things you want to get wrong.
 
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JonahLynx said:
Generally a bad idea. The potential for change is there, but in nearly all my observances and experience, the Christian is the one who changes... for the worst. If God calls you to that relationship, then it is His plan. But you should be praying constantly so that your faith in this is clear and true, because ultimately marriage is one of the last things you want to get wrong.
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Yeah I agree. I definitely wouldn't want to change for some guy. The most important relationship I have is with God and I would hate to mess that up. Thanks for making that more clear.
 
I personally wouldn't because I would hate to think of my loved one going to hell D:

I should explain: I date people when I like them and will maybe fall in love with them. So hence my first statement
 
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