loving the unlovable

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JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2015
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As Christians we are called to love. Eventually we will come accross someone who is unlovable.

1) how do we love them in a Biblical manner?

2) should we love them even if it takes a toll on us?

3) has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do about it?
 
JFSurvivor said:
As Christians we are called to love. Eventually we will come accross someone who is unlovable.

1) how do we love them in a Biblical manner?

2) should we love them even if it takes a toll on us?

3) has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do about it?
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I have a teenager that is tough to love. He's in a pretty angry place and yells and curses and says awful things at times. Is disrespectful most of the time....is selfish almost all of the time. I have to admit I have put up a few walls to protect myself but I treat him kindly when he is not but I definitely have my boundaries and I protect them and remind him of them.
 
JFSurvivor said:
As Christians we are called to love. Eventually we will come accross someone who is unlovable.


2) should we love them even if it takes a toll on us?

3) has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do about it?
Click to expand...
1) how do we love them in a Biblical manner? Only with the help and eyes of and heart of God


2) should we love them even if it takes a toll on us? Absolutely without a doubt Jesus did this very thing

3) has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do about it? Yes it has, what did I do about about it? I continued to love them.
 
Sirk said:
I have a teenager that is tough to love. He's in a pretty angry place and yells and curses and says awful things at times. Is disrespectful most of the time....is selfish almost all of the time. I have to admit I have put up a few walls to protect myself but I treat him kindly when he is not but I definitely have my boundaries and I protect them and remind him of them.
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What's his side of the story? Is he lonely? Is he being bullied?
 
JFSurvivor said:
What's his side of the story? Is he lonely? Is he being bullied?
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First of all he is mildly autistic and his dad abandoned him. He's a good kid but he is about 8 to 10 developmentally in a 14 year old body. He just recently has gotten friends and is trying to find his place in the world I think. He is better now that his mom took him off of his stimulants tho.....less angry outbursts.
 
Sirk said:
First of all he is mildly autistic and his dad abandoned him. He's a good kid but he is about 8 to 10 developmentally in a 14 year old body. He just recently has gotten friends and is trying to find his place in the world I think. He is better now that his mom took him off of his stimulants tho.....less angry outbursts.
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That explaines it. Poor kid. :-( I'm a 15 year old in a 20 year old body. I know how hard it can be. It's NOT fun. I'm glad he's off the stimulants. And I'm really happy he has friends! :-D
 
JFSurvivor said:
That explaines it. Poor kid. :-( I'm a 15 year old in a 20 year old body. I know how hard it can be. It's NOT fun. I'm glad he's off the stimulants. And I'm really happy he has friends! :-D
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Ya his mommy is making him go to youth group at our church as well. He really is a kind kid...just a bit lost right now and searching to fit. He's a Christ "liker" but I hope he really finds Jesus.
 
JFSurvivor said:
That explaines it. Poor kid. :-( I'm a 15 year old in a 20 year old body. I know how hard it can be. It's NOT fun. I'm glad he's off the stimulants. And I'm really happy he has friends! :-D
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We would love you, no matter how old you are, sis.
 
Sirk said:
Ya his mommy is making him go to youth group at our church as well. He really is a kind kid...just a bit lost right now and searching to fit. He's a Christ "liker" but I hope he really finds Jesus.
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I bet he likes you also... I would keep those walls you´re keeping.
 
This might sound a little selfish but I have found that his attitude is sharpening me. I don't know if anyone else struggles with this but it is so hard for me not to take the actions of others personally. When he is being a pill I use his bad behavior as an exercise in self control....to not react but to respond.....to bring my own discomfort and pain into my thoughts and process them before I say anything.......to pray......to be transformed by the renewing my mind!
 
JFSurvivor said:
As Christians we are called to love. Eventually we will come accross someone who is unlovable.

1) how do we love them in a Biblical manner?

2) should we love them even if it takes a toll on us?

3) has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do about it?
Click to expand...
I couldn't answer this being on the receiving end...but Christ loved me anyways...so it makes it easier to love all.
 
crossnote said:
I couldn't answer this being on the receiving end...but Christ loved me anyways...so it makes it easier to love all.
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Easier said than doing!

There is a visible reluctancy to love (and to permit being loved).

Let´s say I tried to act lovingly and, ppl around, would misunderstand what I say or do, because some may think I´m acting groupingly to get another thing (particularly when I can be viewed as a wirdo).

I have a friend whose uncle lives in washington DC. His uncle just touched a child the way we (Latin American) often do show our kindness ...

(10 common gestures easily misunderstood abroad - Matador Network)

and that man was sued "for sexual abuse"... If American came to see what is sexual abuse -here- lawyers would be richer...

Sometimes Christian kidness is misunderstood (for being creepy or "fool").

Of course, if you looked at the good Samaritan parable (the way Latin Americans are, as pagan) you would think: "That man is gay..." I know one man who took care of another man who was hurt and wounded, same way that good Samaritan and, that man is Catholic, and his own mom is somewhat concerned his son still prays for the woman he divorced... Why we ppl misunderstand love? That man is not weird, he is a true believer (I hope GOD sees where my friend is wrong), but THIS WORLD read that wrong.
 
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Love is a mark of a true believer. We love others (especially the brethren) even when it hurts us at times (Just as it hurt Christ). Good chapter to read while struggling to love someone is 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Love suffereth long and is patient.
 
I pray for the unlovable that God will open their eyes and hearts to His glory, that they may have peace and rejoice in the saving grace we have in Jesus Christ. That's the best gift I can ever ask for anyone.
 
Jesus said to the Father on the cross that He should forgive those who crucified Him because they did not know what they were doing. This is a great example of Jesus loving those who are hard to love.
 
Ok so here's another question: by the worlds standards who are the unlovable and how should we love them?

Also how did Jesus love the unlovable? (Aside from his death on the cross)
 
Probably one of the hardest things to do for sure, but definitely goes beyond humanity and is for sure divine.......!
 
What is someone who is unlovable (at all)?

By either Gods the worlds standards?

Some who has a deep seated hatred for you?

That kind of unlovable?

Someone who does not respond to the love you might have extended to them in some way?

Unlovable might just be better categorized under those who hate you (whoever they be) if they do not respond to love

This is all I have on the definition

unlovable.png

Jesus loved the Pharisees and he loved them by rebuking them, people dont see love as open rebuke though. A lot of people would consider the person of Jesus Christ (in our midst) as somewhat harsh, and unlovable, even harsh (by the way) he had spoken to them.

People are giving gifts to one another when the two witnesses are killed, so its hard to understand them as speaking good words and smooth flatteries that would be far more inviting and accepting to others (these days).
 
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