Online dating: How would you respond?

[cinder]

Well we have a young upstart who has come into the singles forum thinking he knows a whole lot more than the rest of us about online Christian dating. Here is the profile description he has suggested in his own thread for attracting a serious Christian and not one of the oodles of fake Christians.

“ i am a devoted christian with strong moral values and i am seeking a devoted christian of the opposite sex with strong Christan values to possibly start a family that is founded on christian values with, i take my christian faith very seriously and i will consider having a relationship with someone only if they have the same high level of moral and christian values as me”

So I thought the best way to put this to the test was to create a poll with a myriad of entertaining options and let the good people of the CC singles forum vote on just what they think of this profile description. And if you want to give some pointers about what you would like to see in a profile you're browsing, maybe that will help out some of the awesome people here who seem to be striking out in the online dating world.

 

[Lynx]

Um... I dunno, this thread seems a bit like calling the guy out. Not that he hasn't earned it...

 

[cinder]

Um... I dunno, this thread seems a bit like calling the guy out. Not that he hasn't earned it...

Well calling him an upstart isn't nice, but I don't have a reputation for being always sugary sweet especially when people have earned it. Putting his theory of this is how you should write your profile to the test, well if I could or knew how to post a poll in the middle of his thread I would have.

As it is my best defense is that he called us out for not doing online dating right first, so I'm just responding to the challenge. And if I'm really in the wrong then participation should be pretty low.

 

[Lynx]

Like I said, it's not that he hasn't earned it.

As with everything else, it reminds me of a song.

[video=youtube;aP6elS781Bo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP6elS781Bo[/video]

 

[wisebeardman]

what is this I don't even

 

[Roh_Chris]

Maybe you could have posted a fake profile but this thread is a good idea.

I would date online if I meet the right person. I know it takes a lot to trust a person who I may rarely see but I am up for it. If I feel that the girl is worthy of my trust, then I would get into an online relationship with her. I was in an online relationship just recently and it lasted for two years.

I look for someone who loves the Lord, is intelligent and witty enough to hold a conversation, shares my interests in food, music and travelling, can socialise, is a fitness freak and is 'intelligently romantic'. By that I mean that she uses her brains even in matters of the heart.

 

[zaoman32]

I think when people are so desperate to the point where they turn a forum site into a dating site, there's probably a very good reason why they're single, and a likely chance that they don't see it.

Kudos for calling the guy out. Some people need that

 

[Roh_Chris]

And if you want to give some pointers about what you would like to see in a profile you're browsing, maybe that will help out some of the awesome people here who seem to be striking out in the online dating world.

I just realized that that was a sarcastic remark. I thought you really wanted us to share what we were looking for.

Next time, please use your sarcasm tags because there are dummies like me who will miss it completely. *le sigh*

 

[BillyTheKid]

You forgot one option:
"Why would you search internet forums for a mate?"
That is my answer lol

 

[ServantStrike]

I just talked to a chick on a dating site who had a profile that read almost exactly like that!

She went on and on about abstinence (which I actually found really hot), but then she droned on about how there could be no television in a future household unless it was some obscure Christian sattelite TV provider, and how the children must be home schooled according to some method devised by some famous dead lady 100+ years ago.

There could be no smoking (hey no problem with that one), and no alcohol of any kind (a long debate in and of itself, but there are plenty of teetollers out there so she wasn't being unreasonable on that one).

But hey, you know what, I'll give her this. She's part of the 4 percent of all women I've contacted who let me talk about Jesus - and I was honest when I contacted her and said I was pretty sure I wasn't interested, I just wanted to know more. So, in a way, even with her legalistic ways, she's still a better catch than the other 96 percent. It's too bad it's not going to work out because she's so demanding, or she'd have earned a free dinner.

It's pretty bad when the legalists are the only candidates in the pool. We're going to need some chlorine.

CHLORINE, WE NEED MORE CHLORINE.

 

[MysteryReader101]

Maybe you could have posted a fake profile but this thread is a good idea.

I would date online if I meet the right person. I know it takes a lot to trust a person who I may rarely see but I am up for it. If I feel that the girl is worthy of my trust, then I would get into an online relationship with her. I was in an online relationship just recently and it lasted for two years.

I look for someone who loves the Lord, is intelligent and witty enough to hold a conversation, shares my interests in food, music and travelling, can socialise, is a fitness freak and is 'intelligently romantic'. By that I mean that she uses her brains even in matters of the heart.

Wow. I hope you find her. I really do. God bless.

 

[Roh_Chris]

It's pretty bad when the legalists are the only candidates in the pool. We're going to need some chlorine.

CHLORINE, WE NEED MORE CHLORINE.

Why use Chlorine when you have cowbell?

 

[egeiro]

Well, from experience, I've been to churches where a surprising majority of young people were sleeping around, all professing Christians who attended church most Sundays.

I can kind of understand why someone would say it out right, 'Look, this is what I'm looking for and this is what I believe.'

I don't know this certain person's story, but I can understand why some people may be upfront.

But holiness is more a state of being, rather than ticking the 'rules' list. 1 Peter 1:15-16, "but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behaviour, because it is written, 'You will be holy, as I am holy." As He is, we are to be, too. Notice Peter says, "Be holy yourselves -also- in all your behaviour." 'Be' first and then the behaviour follows through.

If one raises their values and rules above relationship with the Most High, whom we pattern our lives after and who we are called to reflect, to mirror and represent, then it would be a sad case.

But all I can conclude is I don't know the person, don't completely understand the context and all I can put in is my 2c worth of fluffy ideas.

 

[Cee]

No matter the problem or question, Jesus is the answer, IMO.

 

[cinder]

I just realized that that was a sarcastic remark. I thought you really wanted us to share what we were looking for.

Next time, please use your sarcasm tags because there are dummies like me who will miss it completely. *le sigh*

Nope your sarcasm filter is malfunctioning. I was actually sincere about the pointers for profiles. We seem to have a lot of great Christian singles around here and if we can help each other out as friends in this area I think that's a good idea. And has a whole lot more chance of people getting honest feedback and good ideas than asking someone who has decided not to talk to you on a dating site why they don't want to talk to you.

Oh and for clarity's sake this was not someone's actual dating site anything: this was quoted from a guy telling a lady this is what she should put on her profile if she really wanted to attract a Christian online.

 

[egeiro]

Nope your sarcasm filter is malfunctioning. I was actually sincere about the pointers for profiles. We seem to have a lot of great Christian singles around here and if we can help each other out as friends in this area I think that's a good idea. And has a whole lot more chance of people getting honest feedback and good ideas than asking someone who has decided not to talk to you on a dating site why they don't want to talk to you.

Oh and for clarity's sake this was not someone's actual dating site anything: this was quoted from a guy telling a lady this is what she should put on her profile if she really wanted to attract a Christian online.

Ohhhh, that makes sense now. Sorry.

 

[seoulsearch]

I just talked to a chick on a dating site who had a profile that read almost exactly like that!

She went on and on about abstinence (which I actually found really hot), but then she droned on about how there could be no television in a future household unless it was some obscure Christian sattelite TV provider, and how the children must be home schooled according to some method devised by some famous dead lady 100+ years ago.

There could be no smoking (hey no problem with that one), and no alcohol of any kind (a long debate in and of itself, but there are plenty of teetollers out there so she wasn't being unreasonable on that one).

But hey, you know what, I'll give her this. She's part of the 4 percent of all women I've contacted who let me talk about Jesus - and I was honest when I contacted her and said I was pretty sure I wasn't interested, I just wanted to know more. So, in a way, even with her legalistic ways, she's still a better catch than the other 96 percent. It's too bad it's not going to work out because she's so demanding, or she'd have earned a free dinner.

It's pretty bad when the legalists are the only candidates in the pool. We're going to need some chlorine.

CHLORINE, WE NEED MORE CHLORINE.

Chlorine... or chloroform?

 

[ServantStrike]

Chlorine... or chloroform?

Oh Kim....

You really know the way to to woo 'em (and to the top of the FBI's most wanted list).

 

[DCrawshawJr]

I do have some pointers for online dating. I'm not saying it will work for everyone, it may work for only a few, but at least you're not being fake about it. Remember, if you think you have a better idea, go for it, because I may be wrong, and I was just very fortunate. Ultimately, it's God doing the matching, but He does use people to do His work.

1. Be as HONEST as you legally can in your dating profile. What I mean is, don't say, "I want to marry so I can have sex without sinning." While that may be the honest truth, dating sites usually forbid that kind of talk. What I do mean is say something like, "I'm a Christian who seeks a wife who also seeks a husband." Plain and simple. Don't try to sugarcoat anything. List some bad features about yourself even. It's like Honest Trailers on YouTube.

2. Make your match settings to include ONLY the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM requirements you must have in a mate. Make sure within yourself that everything else is OK with you. Plus, be honest with yourself about it.

3. Whatever matches you do get, quickly skim over them, and message nearly EVERY SINGLE ONE. What message should you write? Well, say "Hi, how are you? I like your profile" (Do remember a thing they said in their profile, and ask a question about it.) This is why I highly recommend eHarmony, because they guide you through the entire communication process before you go into free communication. If you're an eHarmony user, on your first match, ask them five questions that are somewhat serious. Don't start with the icebreakers. (Well, maybe one.) Then, stick with those questions in your match blitz.

4. Assuming you get messages back, promptly reply to them. Stick with the one who you feel is most serious about a relationship and marriage, and that usually happens when they themselves put up some money to write you, as in my case.

I know people don't really like eHarmony because they're so expensive. Well guess what? So is marriage. This is why eHarmony is full of people who are serious about marriage, especially those who make an investment in their premium services.

I know, because I've done that, and am starting a relationship with someone.

Like I said, that's just my experiences with online dating. Yours could be totally different. But the main thing I HIGHLY RECOMMEND to everyone, is BE AS ABSURDLY HONEST WITH THE POTENTIAL DEALBREAKERS AS YOU CAN.

 

[DCrawshawJr]

I do have some pointers for online dating. I'm not saying it will work for everyone, it may work for only a few, but at least you're not being fake about it. Remember, if you think you have a better idea, go for it, because I may be wrong, and I was just very fortunate. Ultimately, it's God doing the matching, but He does use people to do His work.

1. Be as HONEST as you legally can in your dating profile. What I mean is, don't say, "I want to marry so I can have sex without sinning." While that may be the honest truth, dating sites usually forbid that kind of talk. What I do mean is say something like, "I'm a Christian who seeks a wife who also seeks a husband." Plain and simple. Don't try to sugarcoat anything. List some bad features about yourself even. It's like Honest Trailers on YouTube.

2. Make your match settings to include ONLY the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM requirements you must have in a mate. Make sure within yourself that everything else is OK with you. Plus, be honest with yourself about it.

3. Whatever matches you do get, quickly skim over them, and message nearly EVERY SINGLE ONE. What message should you write? Well, say "Hi, how are you? I like your profile" (Do remember a thing they said in their profile, and ask a question about it.) This is why I highly recommend eHarmony, because they guide you through the entire communication process before you go into free communication. If you're an eHarmony user, on your first match, ask them five questions that are somewhat serious. Don't start with the icebreakers. (Well, maybe one.) Then, stick with those questions in your match blitz.

4. Assuming you get messages back, promptly reply to them. Stick with the one who you feel is most serious about a relationship and marriage, and that usually happens when they themselves put up some money to write you, as in my case.

I know people don't really like eHarmony because they're so expensive. Well guess what? So is marriage. This is why eHarmony is full of people who are serious about marriage, especially those who make an investment in their premium services.

I know, because I've done that, and am starting a relationship with someone.

Like I said, that's just my experiences with online dating. Yours could be totally different. But the main thing I HIGHLY RECOMMEND to everyone, is BE AS ABSURDLY HONEST WITH THE POTENTIAL DEALBREAKERS AS YOU CAN.