do women go through this as well?

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GhostWolf

GhostWolf

Member
May 16, 2015
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Sometimes I feel like when I meet someone that I'm interested in I always end up feeling like I am stuck on the back burner till someone that the women thinks is more interesting comes along. Not like a friend zone deal but more like just being lead on forever but going no where. Just was curious if women go through this as well or is it mostly just dealing with players?
 
I've been on both sides of this, though I never string anyone along for very long. It's generally because I'm trying to decipher my own mind about the relationship. If I'm still REALLY unsure (or sense it from him), and there's nothing to actually work through, then I thank him for the lovely experiences and bow out. Though sometimes, he realizes it, too, and beats me to the punch.
 
Ah, yes. I personally like to call it "The Spare Syndrome."

Person X doesn't have a significant other but still wants some company of the opposite gender, and occasionally needs someone to call on to whine too or get help. Person Y comes along and fits just the right void for Person X... But Person X is not interested in them romantically at all.

Thus begins the saga of "The Spare." Person X will think, "I might not have someone right now (and am free as a goose to look around) but at least I can always call 'The Spare.'" The go-to fill-in substitute for the significant other you just don't have right now.

Of course, both men and women do this. The worst offense if when someone strings another person along into thinking it COULD be a romantic relationship, knowing full well they don't like the person that way but that the OTHER person DOES feel that way, but has no intentions of committing to a relationship with the person they're leading on.

My personal feeling is to get out of this situation as soon as possible, regardless of which role you might be playing, because it's obviously not sincere or genuine.

I actually wanted to write a thread a long time ago entitled, "How To Stop Being 'The Spare'", but just never got around to it.
 
Oh, I do so wish some of you would spend the time to investigate The Mimetic Theory. This kind of behavior has such basic and deep-seated roots in mankind that it is amazing to, so predictably, watch scenes unfold once you learn a little about it.
 
GhostWolf said:
Sometimes I feel like when I meet someone that I'm interested in I always end up feeling like I am stuck on the back burner till someone that the women thinks is more interesting comes along. Not like a friend zone deal but more like just being lead on forever but going no where. Just was curious if women go through this as well or is it mostly just dealing with players?
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Look at the bright side.......
The back burner means that you are still on the stove.
There is still a chance. ....make it happen.

Its when you're put in the fridge , that you should start considering that it's probably NEVER gonna happen.
 
Reborn said:
Look at the bright side.......
The back burner means that you are still on the stove.
There is still a chance. ....make it happen.

Its when you're put in the fridge , that you should start considering that it's probably NEVER gonna happen.
Click to expand...

Nice Analogy, Reborn and it is very true:)
 
cmarieh said:
Nice Analogy, Reborn and it is very true:)
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I don't know about that, but thank you.
It was either what l wrote above, or this advice to him:

"Tell her this....no one ever puts me on the back burner, l'm the main dish, yo!"

I decided against this one, for obvious reasons.
 
Reborn said:
I don't know about that, but thank you.
It was either what l wrote above, or this advice to him:

"Tell her this....no one ever puts me on the back burner, l'm the main dish, yo!"

I decided against this one, for obvious reasons.
Click to expand...

That is just too funny. Lol

However, some of the best things in our life are worth waiting for and sometimes people don't really know what they want until it is gone.
 
Reborn said:
I don't know about that, but thank you.
It was either what l wrote above, or this advice to him:

"Tell her this....no one ever puts me on the back burner, l'm the main dish, yo!"

I decided against this one, for obvious reasons.
Click to expand...

Descyple? That you? =^.^=
 
'love your neighbour as yourself" you've got to be pretty ok about who you are to be able to Love other's well-- sometimes people just want to stroke their own egos and really aren't out for a relationship--- while other's want a relationship to prove to themselves they're pretty ok.

You're right, everyone's felt that way.

You've got to take a chance and make a move when you really like someone-- you won't know unless you try. But don't hang around if you feel you're just the one whom she likes when no one else better is around.
 
well thankfully I'm not in this situation right now, I was just curious to have a women's perspective on it. Now I understand that both gender end up feeling this way from time to time. I have done a lot of work to keep myself from being the spare to someone for quite some time now :)
 
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seoulsearch said:
Ah, yes. I personally like to call it "The Spare Syndrome."

Person X doesn't have a significant other but still wants some company of the opposite gender, and occasionally needs someone to call on to whine too or get help. Person Y comes along and fits just the right void for Person X... But Person X is not interested in them romantically at all.

Thus begins the saga of "The Spare." Person X will think, "I might not have someone right now (and am free as a goose to look around) but at least I can always call 'The Spare.'" The go-to fill-in substitute for the significant other you just don't have right now.

Of course, both men and women do this. The worst offense if when someone strings another person along into thinking it COULD be a romantic relationship, knowing full well they don't like the person that way but that the OTHER person DOES feel that way, but has no intentions of committing to a relationship with the person they're leading on.

My personal feeling is to get out of this situation as soon as possible, regardless of which role you might be playing, because it's obviously not sincere or genuine.

I actually wanted to write a thread a long time ago entitled, "How To Stop Being 'The Spare'", but just never got around to it.
Click to expand...
 
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