Loving Yourself Thread

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How's this? I drank to hide my failures. I got stone to hide my failures. I got into that damn car with those guys to prove I'm braver than I am. Also, because, since I'm perfect, I know good looking guys don't rape. I had those idiots who raped me take me home, so they could find out where I lived and kill me, because I wasn't all I wanted to be or thought I was. I failed yet again. I'm better than this. I'm better than this. I'm better than this. I'm better than this. I.. I... I... I... See where the focus always was? I! (And I was a Christian through all of that.)

I squat! I cannot get better than my mother or father. I can't even get better than my creepy brother. I cannot put God first, because I deserve to be first! Take his name in vain? F that! Don't have false images? I am my false image! Honor my parents? Have you met them? Don't kill someone? Yeah, okay, then you kill my rapists. Don't even call your brother a fool? Have you met my brothers? Don't commit adultery....

Look at it. Look at all of it. Look at the commandments. Deep down, what gets you breaking them? You! You are better than that! You are better than God, better than your parents and deserve every single thing those commandments tell you not to do. Be honest, if not with us, than with yourself. Isn't that the truth deep down?

You think just because someone agrees with you, that you are validated? We ALL agree with you, and that's why we know you're not validated. The truth is we do get you. We ARE you. We've just come to realize that doesn't work. Being the center of the world doesn't work, because each one of us wants that. We "deserve" that." THAT is self-love.

AND that's directly opposed to what God says.

Get this now and you don't have to live the rest of my life. (Damn fish belly!) The rape wasn't the worse thing that happened to me either.

Join the club,been there myself.
:o:rolleyes::(

Why oh why does God love us so much despite all of that,I will never ever understand.
:o
 
So because the Bible doesn't say "don't hate yourself" You think it's ok to hate yourself?? Self love isn't pride. In the English language they can mean the same thing but they are FAR from the same thing. Pride is where you think of yourself as being better than everyone. Self-love and self-esteem are healthy.

Matthew 23:1-39
V.4: They crush people with people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.
Does this look like Jesus wants his relationship with us to be a burden?

V.23: What sorrow awaits you teachers of the religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to tithe the tiniest income from you herb gardens but you ignore the more important aspects of the law- justice, mercy and faith. You should tithe yes, but not neglect the more important things.
What I am getting at here is that there is more to scripture than "oh the Bible says this." Remember how I said Blain sees with his heart and not his eyes? He has a rare gift that not many people have. He understands that the Bible is not so much about "do this, do that, don't do this." It's about action and loving. Part of that is being kind and gentle with yourself. That's what I'm getting at.

Think of it like this:

You: Jesus I'm so sorry I messed up I did this thing and I'm so sorry.
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: I really screwed up. I'm a terrible person!
Jesus: Um...I just forgave you...
You: no I mean I REALLY screwed up. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Jesus: yes. I just did. Why are you still upset about this?
You: I'm a failure. I don't deserve to live.
Jesus: Free gift of forgiveness right here!

So self hate can really get in the way of our relationship. It can almost block what God is doing in our lives. Here's another example:

You: I hate myself
God: I love you
You: God doesn't love me
God: yes I do. I just said I did.
You: I can't believe that still small voice in my head. It has to be the devil tricking me to think I'm better than I am. I'm a no good wretched sinner who deserves hell.
God: But my son paid the price...I love you.
You: I deserve to die. I should just take my own life but that would get me sent to hell and I don't want that. God can you please kill me?
God: But I have plans for you! You can be so much more than this! Why can't you see how wonderful I created you?
Random person: hi
You: hi
Random person: How are you?
You: Not good. I feel horrible. I've been struggling with bad thoughts.
Random person: Pray to God to take it away. Anything is possible with Jesus! *walks away*
You: God, I am struggling with bad thoughts. can you help me?
God: I love you
You: That can't be true. I'm not worthy of love
God: -_-

Do you see my point now????


Here's my Bible definition of pride- Pride: Inordinate self-esteem or conciete; disdainful behavior or treatment of others



Math problem for you. Now go back and count how many first person pronouns were used in both dialogues.







Getting the picture yet? It's still self-first. Thus self-love. Thus "inordinate self-esteem," aka pride. Sneaky little sucker, ain't it?
 
That is so why I want JF to get this. I don't want her caught up in the world.

You don't even know me outside of these forums. You have NEVER had a face to face conversation with me. You don't KNOW me. We never have had a Bible study together and you are assuming all this information about me based on one word in one thread. The word being "self love". You didn't look at the heart behind it you didn't look at my character nothing.

I get that your intentions are good and noble but please Don't worry over me getting "caught up in the world" until you know me and my situation better.
 
Math problem for you. Now go back and count how many first person pronouns were used in both dialogues.







Getting the picture yet? It's still self-first. Thus self-love. Thus "inordinate self-esteem," aka pride. Sneaky little sucker, ain't it?

You are missing the point!!!!
 
I can honestly say that I am human and that I study the Bible and I don't love everyone perfectly but I do love them to the best of my ability. I don't think of myself higher than anyone else but I give myself grace. I'm kind to myself. I forgive myself (after I have repented). When I love myself, I can more easily love others because I actually have love to give. When I have self-hate I don't have love to give. Just like hate and hurt can spread so can love. When I love myself I'm secure and I don't have to look for validation from other things or other people. I can rest in the fact that I am so loved by the creator and I can be ok with myself. When I love myself I can give others validation and support. I am more healthy when I love myself.

The verse "love thy neighbor as thy self" is so true because if you don't love yourself then how can you love your neighbor? You can't really the reason is because you have no love to give. In order to love your neighbor you need to be secure in your relationship with Christ and secure in who you are. Being secure in who you are takes self love.

I am so curious what your inner head voice is telling you...I'm guessing it's either telling you that you're trash, that you're not doing enough or that you are such a wonderful christian. I really feel bad for you because if you don't love yourself I wonder what you think of yourself and what you tell yourself. It's sad.

And it's also sad that this thread got ruined for the people who really needed it.
Actually, it's cool that people who already have self-love didn't get more time to glow in themselves more. Instead, this got pointed to the only one who loves and gives love properly -- God.
 
*sigh* why do I stay on these forums? Can't some of you see that your words have the potential to push people farther away from God? Don't you see that with what you say you're not helping you're just making others feel awful? If "love" looks like making others feel like dirt then I want no part of it! If God looks the people on this forum I want no part of him! (I know He looks nothing like you guys no offense but please think about what would happen if I was serious)

What if someone who was borderline suicidal came across this forum? At this point I pray that they would have the good sense to contact Blain or Sirk.
 
You don't even know me outside of these forums. You have NEVER had a face to face conversation with me. You don't KNOW me. We never have had a Bible study together and you are assuming all this information about me based on one word in one thread. The word being "self love". You didn't look at the heart behind it you didn't look at my character nothing.

I get that your intentions are good and noble but please Don't worry over me getting "caught up in the world" until you know me and my situation better.
Pffft! One word in a thread? You've missed something. I've read your words on several forums. I've read your testimony. I've read what you've said to others. I've already seen you at a very deep low and a kinda high. (I have yet to see you at one of your high moments, but expect to.) Unless this persona you display on here is your guile, I do know you. I think you are guileless too. Just like you know me.
 
Pffft! One word in a thread? You've missed something. I've read your words on several forums. I've read your testimony. I've read what you've said to others. I've already seen you at a very deep low and a kinda high. (I have yet to see you at one of your high moments, but expect to.) Unless this persona you display on here is your guile, I do know you. I think you are guileless too. Just like you know me.

Yeah I can feel the love oozing from my computer screen. I feel so encouraged and loved in this wonderful community of Christ followers. They are so nice and gentle and so careful with their words. I truly feel that I have grown closer to God as a result of this thread just like I intended....NOT!!!
 
*sigh* why do I stay on these forums? Can't some of you see that your words have the potential to push people farther away from God? Don't you see that with what you say you're not helping you're just making others feel awful? If "love" looks like making others feel like dirt then I want no part of it! If God looks the people on this forum I want no part of him! (I know He looks nothing like you guys no offense but please think about what would happen if I was serious)

What if someone who was borderline suicidal came across this forum? At this point I pray that they would have the good sense to contact Blain or Sirk.
Awful is the condition we come to God. You're missing the point! God is the answer!

God is the answer. God is the answer!

God is the answer! Saying pleasant things about ourselves isn't the answer. Building up ourselves isn't the answer. We're to tear ourselves down, because we have too much self. Again, God is the answer.

God is the answer. He enables that in us, because we are NOT the answer. God is the answer!

Lift up thine eyes!!!
 
A little balance...

Mark 8:34-35 (KJV)
34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.
 
Yeah I can feel the love oozing from my computer screen. I feel so encouraged and loved in this wonderful community of Christ followers. They are so nice and gentle and so careful with their words. I truly feel that I have grown closer to God as a result of this thread just like I intended....NOT!!!
Because you've been so busy defending your position instead of really hearing what people are saying. Honest. Take some time and step back. Cool down. Eat chocolate if you have to (if you like chocolate. lol) Go do what you love to do most and enjoy the day. And, when you can see past your position -- just to be more open-minded, because you really don't have to change your mind, but you might want to -- then read what we're truly saying, instead of the assumption we're attacking you. We're really, really not attacking you.

We're saying, "God made a better way."
 
So I know a lot of people have a hard time loving themselves. Not gonna lie...I have a hard time loving myself...so I'm starting this thread.

Here's how it works:

There will be a Bible study and a sharing section. The Bible study will be us studying what the Bible really says about us and the sharing section will be us sharing 2 things we love about ourselves and one thing we love about the person posting above us.

Bible study:

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

So what are we? Sinners. And what does God do? Love us. So we should love ourselves not because we are sinners but because God loves us.

I wanna talk about these verses:

Psalm 139:13-15
- what does this say about God? What does this say about us? What does this say about God and us?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8-
Is this how we treat ourselves? Is this how we should treat ourselves?
Ephesians 2:10
-What does it mean to be a "masterpiece?"

Any other input is welcome as well as verses. This is basically a free for all about loving yourself. You may or may not answer these questions but just please keep on topic. Thanks!2 good things about me (once the next person posts I'll post something nice about them):

1) I like how I'm smart

2) I like that I can help people

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)


4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


I think that any sin has as it's root denying another persons rights. Love is all of this in the above scripture, yet we are not perfect human beings either. Part of the problem is what Einstein said about people , that we don't allowances for people to be people. We Don't make allowances for others to be human. And we are afraid to admit that we make mistakes, it is a sign of weakness in a lot of people.

Jim
 
Awful is the condition we come to God. You're missing the point! God is the answer!

God is the answer. God is the answer!

God is the answer! Saying pleasant things about ourselves isn't the answer. Building up ourselves isn't the answer. We're to tear ourselves down, because we have too much self. Again, God is the answer.

God is the answer. He enables that in us, because we are NOT the answer. God is the answer!

Lift up thine eyes!!!

I stand by what I say. If some day I find out that God looks like the people on this forum I want no part of him. I want no part of a God who is selfish and demands that we just ignore our mental health. I will not follow a god who DEMANDS submission. I will not follow a god who tells us we are nothing. I will not follow a god who thinks we are worthless scum. I will not follow a god who created us just to make us miserable. I will not follow a god who leaves no room for error. I will not follow a god who is harsh and cares nothing about my feelings. I will not follow a god who just ignores my issues. I will not follow a god who insists that I have a miserable life. I will not follow a god who doesn't understand the human condition.

I will follow a God who asks for submission. I will follow a God who loves us. I will follow a God who is humble in heart. I will follow a God who is willing to carry our heavy burdens and trade them out for lighter ones. I will follow a God who loves us enough to die for His own creation. I will follow a God who is good and actually CARES about us and our feelings. I will follow a God who is both merciful and just. I will follow a God who forgives. I will follow a God who calls us to die to ourselves yet also provides for us. I will follow a God who makes it all about Him yet it's for our good. I will follow a God who wants the best for me. I will follow a God who wants me to be happy (within limits of course). I will follow a God who doesn't burden His creation, who doesn't guilt or shame them. I will follow a kind and loving God.
 
Jf. There is a spiritual component to getting well for sure. But there is also a human component cuz we are ...after all, human. Over spiritualizing relationship with God like some will do is frustrating....I know. I think you are on the right track if you are making good nueral hiways in your thinking and processing process. (That sounds kinda funny). The fact is that scripture tells us to think well, to renew our minds and learn skills at making good decisions and heading off lies and wrong thinking....holding every though captive etc. you're on the right track and if you feel misunderstood, express it but don't let it define you.
 
Because you've been so busy defending your position instead of really hearing what people are saying. Honest. Take some time and step back. Cool down. Eat chocolate if you have to (if you like chocolate. lol) Go do what you love to do most and enjoy the day. And, when you can see past your position -- just to be more open-minded, because you really don't have to change your mind, but you might want to -- then read what we're truly saying, instead of the assumption we're attacking you. We're really, really not attacking you.

We're saying, "God made a better way."

I have heard what you are saying. You're saying self-love is wrong and conceited. Not if you do it right. I could say that you're doing the same thing to me. You're not taking anything I have to say in to consideration.
 
I stand by what I say. If some day I find out that God looks like the people on this forum I want no part of him. I want no part of a God who is selfish and demands that we just ignore our mental health. I will not follow a god who DEMANDS submission. I will not follow a god who tells us we are nothing. I will not follow a god who thinks we are worthless scum. I will not follow a god who created us just to make us miserable. I will not follow a god who leaves no room for error. I will not follow a god who is harsh and cares nothing about my feelings. I will not follow a god who just ignores my issues. I will not follow a god who insists that I have a miserable life. I will not follow a god who doesn't understand the human condition.

I will follow a God who asks for submission. I will follow a God who loves us. I will follow a God who is humble in heart. I will follow a God who is willing to carry our heavy burdens and trade them out for lighter ones. I will follow a God who loves us enough to die for His own creation. I will follow a God who is good and actually CARES about us and our feelings. I will follow a God who is both merciful and just. I will follow a God who forgives. I will follow a God who calls us to die to ourselves yet also provides for us. I will follow a God who makes it all about Him yet it's for our good. I will follow a God who wants the best for me. I will follow a God who wants me to be happy (within limits of course). I will follow a God who doesn't burden His creation, who doesn't guilt or shame them. I will follow a kind and loving God.

How often I have blamed God for what others have done to me. I wonder if you would care to comment about that? We start thinking that HE is that man that misteated me or if God loved me why would he allow that to happen to me? For years I had said that to myself and justified being an atheist for that reason.
 
Jf. There is a spiritual component to getting well for sure. But there is also a human component cuz we are ...after all, human. Over spiritualizing relationship with God like some will do is frustrating....I know. I think you are on the right track if you are making good nueral hiways in your thinking and processing process. (That sounds kinda funny). The fact is that scripture tells us to think well, to renew our minds and learn skills at making good decisions and heading off lies and wrong thinking....holding every though captive etc. you're on the right track and if you feel misunderstood, express it but don't let it define you.

ok. It's just difficult because I so badly wanted this thread to help people and here we are fighting again. What bothers me most is that people think they're actually doing God a favor by saying all this stuff. Like I know some people think Jesus was harsh with his words but most of that was aimed at pharisees. Christians can be so so so so mean and when Christians are mean that's how people see Jesus and that is so damaging. When a Christian speaks we gotta think "would Jesus really say it this way?" and I am far from perfect on this but how you say something is almost just as important as what you say.
 
If you wanna learn to think better this will help you get a good head start.

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