Loving Yourself Thread

[atwhatcost]

Please be patient, just one more time. If this doesn't do it, let me know, and I promise to leave you alone from now on. I *think* I finally figured out a way to explain what I've been trying to say.

Trying to handle self-love is like hitching a couple of lions onto a wagon -- it gets the wagoners nowhere, annoys the lions, and causes them to scratch, claw, and destroy anything near them.

Unhitch the cats, and let them do what they were meant to do, and the everything calms down.

We're the lions. We're not made to be tethered to a wagon. Our freedom lies in loving God and others completely. WHEN we do that, just the doing that gives us the love, comfort, the sense of doing what we were made to do, the calmness, the happiness, the joy, the trust in the Master, and every single thing God has promised us. When we hit our purpose it is all the goodness we want in our lives. THAT is our purpose. That's where we belong. And that is done through God in us. We then become pussycats with the full understanding that we do only what we're supposed to do.

Did that, at all, explain what I've been trying to explain all along?

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I love the idea of this thread. Self love is something that I have had trouble with for ages. Sadly it comes from having low self-esteem, but also a tendency to take all the bullying I recieved as a child to heart. Accepting what was said about me as truth, apparently because other people said it? I don't know, has been an issue.

I guess the point to loving yourself is loving God, and seeing how much He loves us and being able to have a love and respect for what He's created. It may well never happen in this lifetime for me, I sometimes hate my faults I guess, but I'll hopefully get to where God wants me to be in time.

 

[SarahM777]

where on here did I say sober judgement was bad?

Sober judgement is good and there is a time and place for that. However there is also a time and place for self love too. You can soberly judge yourself and still love yourself.

It looks kinda like this:

I'm not perfect by any means. I have a bad habit of lying. I need to work on that and I will work on that. I'm going to start by looking up verses on lying in the Bible. Then I'm going to repent of my sins. Then I am going to forgive myself for my sins. Lying does not define me. This sin does not define me. God defines me. If he says I'm worth dying for then I am worth dying for. I love God enough to kick this habit of lying because it hurts him. I love my family enough to kick this habit of lying because it hurts them. I love myself enough to kick this habit of lying because it hurts me. Father God, please give me wisdom and humility to stop lying. Show me what you need to show me. In Jesus's name Amen. I feel better. I also feel kinda lousy because because my friend walked out on me but I give myself permission to feel that way. It was my fault after all. Father I'm so sorry I lied to my friend. (God: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.) I have been forgiven by God now I need to forgive myself and learn from this. Father please give me the humility and wisdom on what to say to my friend. Thank you. I love you. *goes an apologizes to friend.

JF I don't think you're getting what I am trying to say. It is through SOBER JUDGEMENT of ourselves that we will see ourselves in the PROPER manner and we will have the right thinking about ourselves. All those negative thoughts still come out of self love. Why? It's because we are placing ourselves ABOVE what God has either given us or our ways are BETTER then His.

I'm not pretty enough (God you didn't make me pretty enough,I deserve to be prettier then my sister,or anyone that I compare myself)
I'm not good enough (God I'm a much better judge of myself then you are)
I can't forgive myself (God I refuse to do the very thing you have already done,because my way is better,because I am a much stricter judge and my judgement is better)

On many of things that those of who have gone through and are going through these things,we are far more strict on ourselves,because of our self love,because we think we either KNOW BETTER or we DESERVE something better. And none of that is sober judgement of ourselves.

JF I am not trying to mean,but what I see what you are trying to do is put a bandaid on the problem which NOT lead to true healing or overcoming it. A feelgood way of trying to deal with those things WILL FAIL in the long run. That is ALL it can do.

The better way that leads to overcoming these things is to DO THESE things

2 Corinthians 10

By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! [SUP]2 [/SUP]I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. [SUP]3 [/SUP]For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. [SUP]4 [/SUP]The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. [SUP]5[/SUP]We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Philippians 4

[SUP]4 [/SUP]Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! [SUP]5 [/SUP]Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. [SUP]6 [/SUP]Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [SUP]7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[SUP]8 [/SUP]Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.


Romans 12

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 Thessalonians 5

[SUP]16[/SUP]Rejoice always, [SUP]17 [/SUP]pray continually, [SUP]18 [/SUP]give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.


The key to all is to have our thoughts changed in the proper manner.

 

[gb9]

As I said before, it is the Word of God that offends you and others here. If you need Bible citations I will be more than happy to provide them for what I have said. I do not have any hate or malice towards you or anyone here. Should we not give all the praise glory and honor to Jesus instead of looking to ourselves? In the beginning of the thread the remark was made that one was smart and intelligent. But this is not is what is in view of loving oneself. Love yourself is in view of protecting your soul (According to the Word) so then you can teach others how to protect their soul according to the Bible.

the Bible does not offend us. your warped views on it do. I know this is a waste of time, but rightly dividing the words of truth. try it sometime.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Please be patient, just one more time. If this doesn't do it, let me know, and I promise to leave you alone from now on. I *think* I finally figured out a way to explain what I've been trying to say.

Trying to handle self-love is like hitching a couple of lions onto a wagon -- it gets the wagoners nowhere, annoys the lions, and causes them to scratch, claw, and destroy anything near them.

Unhitch the cats, and let them do what they were meant to do, and the everything calms down.

We're the lions. We're not made to be tethered to a wagon. Our freedom lies in loving God and others completely. WHEN we do that, just the doing that gives us the love, comfort, the sense of doing what we were made to do, the calmness, the happiness, the joy, the trust in the Master, and every single thing God has promised us. When we hit our purpose it is all the goodness we want in our lives. THAT is our purpose. That's where we belong. And that is done through God in us. We then become pussycats with the full understanding that we do only what we're supposed to do.

Did that, at all, explain what I've been trying to explain all along?

Nooooo...Sorry but you are completely missing the point of my thread. like COMPLETELY. You're seeing with your eyes and not your heart here.

 

[JFSurvivor]

JF I don't think you're getting what I am trying to say. It is through SOBER JUDGEMENT of ourselves that we will see ourselves in the PROPER manner and we will have the right thinking about ourselves. All those negative thoughts still come out of self love. Why? It's because we are placing ourselves ABOVE what God has either given us or our ways are BETTER then His.

I'm not pretty enough (God you didn't make me pretty enough,I deserve to be prettier then my sister,or anyone that I compare myself)
I'm not good enough (God I'm a much better judge of myself then you are)
I can't forgive myself (God I refuse to do the very thing you have already done,because my way is better,because I am a much stricter judge and my judgement is better)

On many of things that those of who have gone through and are going through these things,we are far more strict on ourselves,because of our self love,because we think we either KNOW BETTER or we DESERVE something better. And none of that is sober judgement of ourselves.

JF I am not trying to mean,but what I see what you are trying to do is put a bandaid on the problem which NOT lead to true healing or overcoming it. A feelgood way of trying to deal with those things WILL FAIL in the long run. That is ALL it can do.

The better way that leads to overcoming these things is to DO THESE things

2 Corinthians 10

By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! [SUP]2 [/SUP]I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. [SUP]3 [/SUP]For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. [SUP]4 [/SUP]The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. [SUP]5[/SUP]We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Philippians 4

[SUP]4 [/SUP]Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! [SUP]5 [/SUP]Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. [SUP]6 [/SUP]Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [SUP]7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[SUP]8 [/SUP]Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.


Romans 12

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 Thessalonians 5

[SUP]16[/SUP]Rejoice always, [SUP]17 [/SUP]pray continually, [SUP]18 [/SUP]give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.


The key to all is to have our thoughts changed in the proper manner.

Yeeeeah you don't understand this post AT ALL!

 

[SarahM777]

Yeeeeah you don't understand this post AT ALL!

Did you or did you not write this post?

So because the Bible doesn't say "don't hate yourself" You think it's ok to hate yourself?? Self love isn't pride. In the English language they can mean the same thing but they are FAR from the same thing. Pride is where you think of yourself as being better than everyone. Self-love and self-esteem are healthy.

Matthew 23:1-39
V.4: They crush people with people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.
Does this look like Jesus wants his relationship with us to be a burden?

V.23: What sorrow awaits you teachers of the religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to tithe the tiniest income from you herb gardens but you ignore the more important aspects of the law- justice, mercy and faith. You should tithe yes, but not neglect the more important things.
What I am getting at here is that there is more to scripture than "oh the Bible says this." Remember how I said Blain sees with his heart and not his eyes? He has a rare gift that not many people have. He understands that the Bible is not so much about "do this, do that, don't do this." It's about action and loving. Part of that is being kind and gentle with yourself. That's what I'm getting at.

Think of it like this:

You: Jesus I'm so sorry I messed up I did this thing and I'm so sorry.
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: I really screwed up. I'm a terrible person!
Jesus: Um...I just forgave you...
You: no I mean I REALLY screwed up. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Jesus: yes. I just did. Why are you still upset about this?
You: I'm a failure. I don't deserve to live.
Jesus: Free gift of forgiveness right here!

So self hate can really get in the way of our relationship. It can almost block what God is doing in our lives. Here's another example:

You: I hate myself
God: I love you
You: God doesn't love me
God: yes I do. I just said I did.
You: I can't believe that still small voice in my head. It has to be the devil tricking me to think I'm better than I am. I'm a no good wretched sinner who deserves hell.
God: But my son paid the price...I love you.
You: I deserve to die. I should just take my own life but that would get me sent to hell and I don't want that. God can you please kill me?
God: But I have plans for you! You can be so much more than this! Why can't you see how wonderful I created you?
Random person: hi
You: hi
Random person: How are you?
You: Not good. I feel horrible. I've been struggling with bad thoughts.
Random person: Pray to God to take it away. Anything is possible with Jesus! *walks away*
You: God, I am struggling with bad thoughts. can you help me?
God: I love you
You: That can't be true. I'm not worthy of love
God: -_-

Do you see my point now????


Here's my Bible definition of pride- Pride: Inordinate self-esteem or conciete; disdainful behavior or treatment of others

• 
  
  

These things that YOU POSTED THAT ARE IN BOLD are the LIES we tell ourselves

You: Jesus I'm so sorry I messed up I did this thing and I'm so sorry.
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: I really screwed up. I'm a terrible person!
Jesus: Um...I just forgave you...
You: no I mean I REALLY screwed up.I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Jesus: yes. I just did. Why are you still upset about this?
You: I'm a failure. I don't deserve to live.
Jesus: Free gift of forgiveness right here!


You: I hate myself
God: I love you
You: God doesn't love me
God: yes I do. I just said I did.
You: I can't believe that still small voice in my head. It has to be the devil tricking me to think I'm better than I am. I'm a no good wretched sinner who deserves hell.
God: But my son paid the price...I love you.
You: I deserve to die. I should just take my own life but that would get me sent to hell and I don't want that. God can you please kill me?
God: But I have plans for you! You can be so much more than this! Why can't you see how wonderful I created you?
Random person: hi
You: hi
Random person: How are you?
You: Not good. I feel horrible. I've been struggling with bad thoughts.
Random person: Pray to God to take it away. Anything is possible with Jesus! *walks away*
You: God, I am struggling with bad thoughts. can you help me?
God: I love you
You: That can't be true. I'm not worthy of love
God: -_-


God has given us the way to overcome those things and that is what I am pointing to. I have been there too. I too struggled with a lot of that stuff you talk about and MUCH MORE. When we take those thoughts INTO CAPTIVITY we can be set free from those thoughts,we don't have to live with them. Do you really want to continue to live with those or do you want to set free from them?

 

[zoii]

I think that's the very point shes making. That we have exactly that dialogue with ourselves n GOD.

 

[SarahM777]

And need I remind you,you opened the door for this to go down this path in this post

So I know a lot of you don't like the whole "love yourself concept" because you don't think it's Christian or found in the Bible. What about self-hate? I have seen what it looks like to hate oneself, and I have felt it. It is a dark place to be. Self-hate can lead to things like cutting, anorexia, bulimia and other severe issues; even drugs and alcohol. So I would say some self-love is healthy...not so much that you are conceited of course but enough that you can look in the mirror and say, "I really like who I am looking at."

Also if you look at the OP you would have seen:

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

So what are we? Sinners. And what does God do? Love us. So we should love ourselves not because we are sinners but because God loves us.

and this post

Question: How do you talk to yourself? Are you nice to yourself? How SHOULD you talk to yourself?

Like this (Option A): I'm so ugly! Look at that blemish! An I'm fat too! No one could ever love me because I'm so fat and not only am I fat but I'm just a terrible person. I did a horrible thing last week and I prayed to God for forgiveness but I'm still horrible because of it! I am filth! I am rotten to the core! I should have just died! I need to die! Father God please kill at your earliest convince! I don't want to live in this skin. I want to rip my soul out of my skin because I am so repulsed by myself.

or

Like this (option B): I feel good today. I am a child of the Most High God and things are going good. I messed up last week, what I did was wrong. I asked God's forgiveness so now I'm going to learn from my mistake and move on. I forgive myself for that thing I did last week because He forgave me. I give myself permission to love my body. I give myself permission to love others freely. I give myself permission to feel what I feel. I give myself permission to be humble. I give myself permission to be ok with who and what I am.

Note: Option A is NOT an exaggeration. Some of those lines I took right out of my own head when I was going through my darkest times. I know Job said some of those exact things but please keep in mind all his children died, he lost all his money and his skin was falling off. You have to get to a REALLY bad spot to be thinking those things.

Please be honest with your answer. Which one looks better to you?

And you posted this in the BIBLE DISCUSSION FORUM,and others have pointed out to that scripture NEVER speaks about having to love ourselves. Scripture points to the fact that we already love ourselves.

 

[oldthennew]

Please be patient, just one more time. If this doesn't do it, let me know, and I promise to leave you alone from now on. I *think* I finally figured out a way to explain what I've been trying to say.

Trying to handle self-love is like hitching a couple of lions onto a wagon -- it gets the wagoners nowhere, annoys the lions, and causes them to scratch, claw, and destroy anything near them.

Unhitch the cats, and let them do what they were meant to do, and the everything calms down.

We're the lions. We're not made to be tethered to a wagon. Our freedom lies in loving God and others completely. WHEN we do that, just the doing that gives us the love, comfort, the sense of doing what we were made to do, the calmness, the happiness, the joy, the trust in the Master, and every single thing God has promised us. When we hit our purpose it is all the goodness we want in our lives. THAT is our purpose. That's where we belong. And that is done through God in us. We then become pussycats with the full understanding that we do only what we're supposed to do.

Did that, at all, explain what I've been trying to explain all along?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

atwhatcost,

a good analogy shared with a loving heart - take comfort that those who are meant to get it, will.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Did you or did you not write this post?



These things that YOU POSTED THAT ARE IN BOLD are the LIES we tell ourselves

You: Jesus I'm so sorry I messed up I did this thing and I'm so sorry.
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: I really screwed up. I'm a terrible person!
Jesus: Um...I just forgave you...
You: no I mean I REALLY screwed up.I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Jesus: yes. I just did. Why are you still upset about this?
You: I'm a failure. I don't deserve to live.
Jesus: Free gift of forgiveness right here!


You: I hate myself
God: I love you
You: God doesn't love me
God: yes I do. I just said I did.
You: I can't believe that still small voice in my head. It has to be the devil tricking me to think I'm better than I am. I'm a no good wretched sinner who deserves hell.
God: But my son paid the price...I love you.
You: I deserve to die. I should just take my own life but that would get me sent to hell and I don't want that. God can you please kill me?
God: But I have plans for you! You can be so much more than this! Why can't you see how wonderful I created you?
Random person: hi
You: hi
Random person: How are you?
You: Not good. I feel horrible. I've been struggling with bad thoughts.
Random person: Pray to God to take it away. Anything is possible with Jesus! *walks away*
You: God, I am struggling with bad thoughts. can you help me?
God: I love you
You: That can't be true. I'm not worthy of love
God: -_-


God has given us the way to overcome those things and that is what I am pointing to. I have been there too. I too struggled with a lot of that stuff you talk about and MUCH MORE. When we take those thoughts INTO CAPTIVITY we can be set free from those thoughts,we don't have to live with them. Do you really want to continue to live with those or do you want to set free from them?

I was demonstrating the need to love ourselves because sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Sometimes we can block what God is trying to do in our lives by believing lies about ourselves like the ones mentioned above. Let me demonstrate from a different perspective:

I'm in blue.
You: Father I messed up and I'm sorry
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: Thank you for your forgiveness Jesus. *takes a breath* now I need to forgive myself. (Ok let me break it down for you here. You saw in my previous post about how that last person kept beating themselves up right and it got in the way of what God was trying to do right? Well here where it says, "I need to forgive myself" is where you take a step in saying "I'm not going to dwell on what I did wrong I'm going to move on so I don't throw myself a pity party and so I can continue to have a loving relationship with God. This is self-love.) So now what can I learn from this? (Taking an objective stance and looking at how to make the situation better. So this is where sober judgement comes in to play) Well from now on I can handle my emotions better by counting to ten before speaking. I should also go apologize to my friend for making them feel bad.
God:
Ending 1

OK so we could leave it there or we could take it a step further.

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah I'm ok and I forgive you.
You: thanks.
*They hug*

Ok so let's look at another possible ending:

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah no I don't forgive you. Goodbye. *walks away*
You: *takes a deep breath and counts to ten* They didn't forgive me, that's on them. I am forgiven by God, I have forgiven myself, I know what to do next time. I'm good. and hey I counted to ten this time! Go me! Thank you for helping me God because I could not have done this on my own. *goes on merry way* (this is self-love)

Let's look at yet another ending:

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah no I don't forgive you. Goodbye. *walks away*
You: I wasn't forgiven! No! no! no! This is terrible! I feel awful! If they didn't forgive me then how could I forgive myself? How could God forgive me?
God: Um...I did forgive you...
You: I feel so bad! I hate myself (self-hate)
God: But I love you :-(


So this thread is not geared at those who already love themselves and who can look at themselves with sober judgement. This thread is geared towards those who see themselves as repulsive, and horrible. Beating it with Jesus is impossible for these people because they get in the way of God's work. They can't see past the pain. They can't see themselves as God sees them. They need like a rocket boost to jump start their faith and break through that wall of self hate.

 

[Jason0047]

the Bible does not offend us. your warped views on it do. I know this is a waste of time, but rightly dividing the words of truth. try it sometime.

You actually have to back up what you are saying with God's Word for it to have any substance or meaning. I am talking about how at the beginning of the thread it was mentioned that we can build our self esteem up. Yet, God wants us to build him up instead. We are nothing. Christ is everything. We love because he loved us first. Love is patient, kind, and it suffers long. Love does not boast and it is not proud.

 

[JFSurvivor]

And need I remind you,you opened the door for this to go down this path in this post



and this post



And you posted this in the BIBLE DISCUSSION FORUM,and others have pointed out to that scripture NEVER speaks about having to love ourselves. Scripture points to the fact that we already love ourselves.

Believe me I REGRET opening this thread.

 

[JFSurvivor]

I think that's the very point shes making. That we have exactly that dialogue with ourselves n GOD.

YES YES YES YES!!!

 

[Jason0047]

I was demonstrating the need to love ourselves because sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Sometimes we can block what God is trying to do in our lives by believing lies about ourselves like the ones mentioned above. Let me demonstrate from a different perspective:

I'm in blue.
You: Father I messed up and I'm sorry
Jesus: I forgive you. Go and sin no more.
You: Thank you for your forgiveness Jesus. *takes a breath* now I need to forgive myself. (Ok let me break it down for you here. You saw in my previous post about how that last person kept beating themselves up right and it got in the way of what God was trying to do right? Well here where it says, "I need to forgive myself" is where you take a step in saying "I'm not going to dwell on what I did wrong I'm going to move on so I don't throw myself a pity party and so I can continue to have a loving relationship with God. This is self-love.) So now what can I learn from this? (Taking an objective stance and looking at how to make the situation better. So this is where sober judgement comes in to play) Well from now on I can handle my emotions better by counting to ten before speaking. I should also go apologize to my friend for making them feel bad.
God:
Ending 1

OK so we could leave it there or we could take it a step further.

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah I'm ok and I forgive you.
You: thanks.
*They hug*

Ok so let's look at another possible ending:

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah no I don't forgive you. Goodbye. *walks away*
You: *takes a deep breath and counts to ten* They didn't forgive me, that's on them. I am forgiven by God, I have forgiven myself, I know what to do next time. I'm good. and hey I counted to ten this time! Go me! Thank you for helping me God because I could not have done this on my own. *goes on merry way* (this is self-love)

Let's look at yet another ending:

You: *walks up to friend* Hey so I'm really sorry about what happened today I should not have blown up like I did. (Taking responsibility) Are you ok?
Friend: Yeah no I don't forgive you. Goodbye. *walks away*
You: I wasn't forgiven! No! no! no! This is terrible! I feel awful! If they didn't forgive me then how could I forgive myself? How could God forgive me?
God: Um...I did forgive you...
You: I feel so bad! I hate myself (self-hate)
God: But I love you :-(


So this thread is not geared at those who already love themselves and who can look at themselves with sober judgement. This thread is geared towards those who see themselves as repulsive, and horrible. Beating it with Jesus is impossible for these people because they get in the way of God's work. They can't see past the pain. They can't see themselves as God sees them. They need like a rocket boost to jump start their faith and break through that wall of self hate.

It is more of a lack of faith in God's Word that would be leading them into despair about themselves. Some people go the opposite direction of pride in not believing the promises of God's Word. But if they are a believer and they are feeling this way, they need to confess their sin order to be forgiven of it (See 1 John 1:9). Forgiveness is not automatic. One has to call out to God and admit their sins. This is Christianity 101. Confess and forsake sin (With God's help and with His Word). If folks are not doing that, then it's going to lead to problems like pride and wrong self love and or the opposite side of the spectrum whereby they are in despair about themselves and life.

 

[zoii]

It is more of a lack of faith in God's Word that would be leading them into despair about themselves. Some people go the opposite direction of pride in not believing the promises of God's Word. But if they are a believer and they are feeling this way, they need to confess their sin order to be forgiven of it (See 1 John 1:9). Forgiveness is not automatic. One has to call out to God and admit their sins. This is Christianity 101. Confess and forsake sin (With God's help and with His Word). If folks are not doing that, then it's going to lead to problems like pride and wrong self love and or the opposite side of the spectrum whereby they are in despair about themselves and life.

OH I cant even begin to tell u how upsetting this pontification is

 

[JFSurvivor]

And need I remind you,you opened the door for this to go down this path in this post

So I know a lot of you don't like the whole "love yourself concept" because you don't think it's Christian or found in the Bible. What about self-hate? I have seen what it looks like to hate oneself, and I have felt it. It is a dark place to be. Self-hate can lead to things like cutting, anorexia, bulimia and other severe issues; even drugs and alcohol. So I would say some self-love is healthy...not so much that you are conceited of course but enough that you can look in the mirror and say, "I really like who I am looking at."

Also if you look at the OP you would have seen:

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8 Yes.

So what are we? Sinners. And what does God do? Love us. So we should love ourselves not because we are sinners but because God loves us. This was supposed to be like we are so loved by God so we should love ourselves because he loves us. Because we are his creation. Because we are worth enough for Jesus to die on the cross for us. Of course we should NEVER forget that we are sinners and in need of fogivness but that doesn't mean we should live with this constant reminder of how terrible we are because then that turns our focus inward and we focus on us more. Self love kinda cleans out all that muck, guck and yuck so we can see God.

and this post
Question: How do you talk to yourself? Are you nice to yourself? How SHOULD you talk to yourself? No one really answered my question. I'm not talking about sober judgement. I'm talking about self-talk.

Like this (Option A): I'm so ugly! Look at that blemish! An I'm fat too! No one could ever love me because I'm so fat and not only am I fat but I'm just a terrible person. I did a horrible thing last week and I prayed to God for forgiveness but I'm still horrible because of it! I am filth! I am rotten to the core! I should have just died! I need to die! Father God please kill at your earliest convince! I don't want to live in this skin. I want to rip my soul out of my skin because I am so repulsed by myself. Some people really talk to themselves like this and this is VERY unhealthy. It can get in the way of hearing God.

or

Like this (option B): I feel good today. I am a child of the Most High God and things are going good. I messed up last week, what I did was wrong. I asked God's forgiveness so now I'm going to learn from my mistake and move on. I forgive myself for that thing I did last week because He forgave me. I give myself permission to love my body. I give myself permission to love others freely. I give myself permission to feel what I feel. I give myself permission to be humble. I give myself permission to be ok with who and what I am. Does this really sound that conceited??

Note: Option A is NOT an exaggeration. Some of those lines I took right out of my own head when I was going through my darkest times. I know Job said some of those exact things but please keep in mind all his children died, he lost all his money and his skin was falling off. You have to get to a REALLY bad spot to be thinking those things. I wanted to highlight that because it's so so so so so so true. Being in that spot is SCARY. It's like you're cut off from God and you can't hear his voice and your whole reality is consumed by how awful you are.

Please be honest with your answer. Which one looks better to you? You never really answered this either.


And you posted this in the BIBLE DISCUSSION FORUM,and others have pointed out to that scripture NEVER speaks about having to love ourselves. Scripture points to the fact that we already love ourselves.

I honestly NEVER could IMAGINE it could EVER turn out this bad!!! I thought this could really help people! :'(


I'm in blue

 

[Jason0047]

OH I cant even begin to tell u how upsetting this pontification is

What I am trying to say is that a Christian is to let Christ shine in their lives. We are to deny ourselves and pick up our cross and follow Him. We do not point to how great we art. We point to how great God is. When somebody stops despairing about their own life and focuses on Christ and what He wants there is no room for themselves (Neither for pride, wrong self love, and or having pity or despair over our lives). It becomes all about Jesus and what He wants. So when a person takes the focus of themselves and properly places on loving God and others, then God will give them the peace, love, and rest that they need.

 

[gb9]

You actually have to back up what you are saying with God's Word for it to have any substance or meaning. I am talking about how at the beginning of the thread it was mentioned that we can build our self esteem up. Yet, God wants us to build him up instead. We are nothing. Christ is everything. We love because he loved us first. Love is patient, kind, and it suffers long. Love does not boast and it is not proud.

I did back it up. rightly dividing the Word of truth, or could be translated handling is 2nd Timothy 2 15. something you should meditate on.

 

[JFSurvivor]

It is more of a lack of faith in God's Word that would be leading them into despair about themselves. Some people go the opposite direction of pride in not believing the promises of God's Word. But if they are a believer and they are feeling this way, they need to confess their sin order to be forgiven of it (See 1 John 1:9). Forgiveness is not automatic. One has to call out to God and admit their sins. This is Christianity 101. Confess and forsake sin (With God's help and with His Word). If folks are not doing that, then it's going to lead to problems like pride and wrong self love and or the opposite side of the spectrum whereby they are in despair about themselves and life.

Seriously?? Wow you do not sugarcoat it do you? Have you ever thought that these people are in unimaginable hurt? Maybe they are reading this right now and are translating your words like this:

"I'm a failure of a Christian because I don't have enough faith."

Is that really what you are trying to say?