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JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#1
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
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#1
So there's this guy I used to know...his name is Brian...he lives all the way on the other side of the country from me. We had an online friendship for about 4 years and things were great at first then he stopped caring and didn't respond as much then he stopped responding all together. It really hurt because he was my ONLY friend at the time.

Also how we met was really weird too. I was at my computer and at the time I had AIM. The thing with AIM was you couldn't send a message unless it had something written in the text box. AIM was basically an instant messenger, So I was at my computer and this blank IM box comes up. It was ******** (like I'm gonna give out his screen name). Here is what happened:

Me: hi
Him: hi
Me: why did you contact me?
Him: you contacted me.
Me: no I didn't.
Him: all that came up was a chat box that said ******* and "hi"
Me: that's weird
*more back and forth messaging*
Me: are you a Christian?
Him: yes

And that is how our four-year friendship began. We both concluded that God was the one who sent the original IM. A few months ago I got in contact with him and we talked. It was nice because I got some closure. There was one thing I could not stop thinking about though. At the end of our conversation he said that we had an "ordained" friendship. I was kinda sad because I didn't know if he really believed that or if he was just saying that. I'm not so sure I believe it was "ordained." He came with a lot of hurt. Yes God knows how to work a computer but so can satan right? I don't know what to think...

A small part of me still misses him. I don't know why...I just wish I had some answers as to how we met that first night.

What do you think about all this?
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#2
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,952
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#2
You can believe what you want, but it sounds like you two met by a computer error. I don't know anything about that program, maybe someone else could comment on that aspect.

If your friendship was "ordained" by God, don't you think it would have continued, even if it was not a marriage relationship? I think it was a friendship you needed at that time, and from that point of view, God definitely allowed the friendship, maybe even allowed the computer mistake.

I do think it is time to move on. It sounds like he found friends closer to home, and is working on those relationships. But I am glad you found closure.
 
Wornwarrior

Wornwarrior

Senior Member
#3
May 11, 2015
172
3
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#3
JFSurvivor, firstly, I wouldn't give satan any credit in anything good such as a friendship between two Christians, even if it was just a computer error how you met. Could it have been God? Yes of course. All things are possible with God. If its been several months since you corresponded with him, it might be best to not get attached to sentimental memories because you could be hurt again if things start to get distanced. Friendships are always a blessing whether online or in person. Just be careful how far you let your heart go as far as getting attached. Its not worth the pain later. But more importantly, pray about it. Ask God for guidance and wisdom in your situation. Who knows what He has in store for you :) God bless you
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#4
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#4
Well the dream about him moving...I reached out to him on fb amd he's moving about an hour away from me...in real life....
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#5
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#5
UPDATE

So I did contact him and I basically tried to get answers from him but he didn't want to give me much so it ended up with me yelling at him a lot and stuff. Then I got an idea. I typed out a letter to the person he once was telling him how I felt and how much I missed him and cared for him and how much he helped me. In all honesty it was like writing to a dead person because he changed so much. I was like in full grieving mode. Once I sent the letter I felt better. It was like magic. I dunno why it worked but it did. I think the idea for the letter may have come from God.

So I get it now. I get why the IM was sent all those years ago. It was so that he could help me then and so that I could help him now.

After I sent him the letter we talked for a bit and he admitted to me that he had some muck, guck and yuck in his heart that he hand't dealt with so I gave him some advice and said some mushy stuff and now I think we're tentative friends. I really do hope he will allow me to help him with that muck guck and yuck because I'm not just going to leave him hanging...but if he thinks he can handle it who am I to stand in his way?

I haven't really made up my mind as to whether or not I want to see him in person but I have time.

All in all this has been a very happy ending and for that I am grateful. :) Praise Jesus!
 
Wornwarrior

Wornwarrior

Senior Member
#6
May 11, 2015
172
3
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#6
JFSurvivor, Im glad that it is a happy ending for you. Just pray about it and continue to trust God to give you direction. he only wants what is good for you. Just be sure that if you both do decide to meet in person, have a friend or someone else with you. We can't be too careful nowadays. And it will help to have someone supportive there too. We serve such an amazing God! Take care and God bless.
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#7
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#7
Wornwarrior said:
JFSurvivor, Im glad that it is a happy ending for you. Just pray about it and continue to trust God to give you direction. he only wants what is good for you. Just be sure that if you both do decide to meet in person, have a friend or someone else with you. We can't be too careful nowadays. And it will help to have someone supportive there too. We serve such an amazing God! Take care and God bless.
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Thanks! :)
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#8
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#8
UPDATE

He ran away again...I'm not heartbroken like I was before though...I'm just confused I guess...I mean here's this stranger (I say stranger because he is NOT the guy I knew years ago) and I have known him for ten years and things were finally going great then he cut me out of his life AGAIN! Only this time he's moving to my state and be living an hour away from me. Not gonna lie...that kinda hurts...but it is nowhere near as bad as before...

What do I do? I feel kinda lost now...like I mean I'm ok but what do I do in terms of moving on? I also still wonder why that IM was sent...he apparently doesn't believe it was God like he said...now I don't know what to believe. I know nothing is outside of His control but now I don't see why this happened.

I was hoping good was going to come of this bad situation but it didn't...it was so close too. I don't know what went wrong...any advice and wisdom would be much appreciated. Thanks.
 
Passionate4Christ79

Passionate4Christ79

Junior Member
#9
May 22, 2015
7
0
1
#9
Just move on with your life. Just seems like he was just meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. If he's not a Christian then he'll bring you down faster than you would pull him up. Just continue to pray for him that God will send him the person that will help him have that relationship with God.
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#10
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#10
Passionate4Christ79 said:
Just move on with your life. Just seems like he was just meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. If he's not a Christian then he'll bring you down faster than you would pull him up. Just continue to pray for him that God will send him the person that will help him have that relationship with God.
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But he is a Christian...and moving on is hard because this has been a thing for ten years. Did I mention he used to stay up with me so I wouldn't commit suicide?
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#11
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
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#11
Jf firstly I want to say it was an ordained friendship because there is no such thing as accidents or coincidences as God knows everything that is going to happen and he allows everything to happen for a reason. And yes both God and satan are very active on the computer. he helped you in the beginning correct? And now it seems as if he is the one who needs help so perhaps this is all happening for a good reason. Right now he is clearly confused and having a hard time and he needs you to just be there for him that alone can make the biggest difference in the world. even something as simple as a prayer for him can change his entire life.
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#12
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#12
Blain said:
Jf firstly I want to say it was an ordained friendship because there is no such thing as accidents or coincidences as God knows everything that is going to happen and he allows everything to happen for a reason. And yes both God and satan are very active on the computer. he helped you in the beginning correct? And now it seems as if he is the one who needs help so perhaps this is all happening for a good reason. Right now he is clearly confused and having a hard time and he needs you to just be there for him that alone can make the biggest difference in the world. even something as simple as a prayer for him can change his entire life.
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I did pray for him..he blocked me on fb and won't answer any of my calls. I really cannot see how I can help him if he won't even talk or listen to me. :-( And I really do want to help him but he doesn't want to be helped.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#13
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
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#13
JFSurvivor said:
I did pray for him..he blocked me on fb and won't answer any of my calls. I really cannot see how I can help him if he won't even talk or listen to me. :-( And I really do want to help him but he doesn't want to be helped.
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But remember what I said to you the other day? How you don't ever see the ripple effects that come from one simple pure hearted action? He may need some space and so right now the best thing I think you can do for him is to pray for him
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#14
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#14
Blain said:
But remember what I said to you the other day? How you don't ever see the ripple effects that come from one simple pure hearted action? He may need some space and so right now the best thing I think you can do for him is to pray for him
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ok. What if he doesn't come back? If he doesn't I can live with that...but what if he does...I can live with that too but it's just gonna be all confusing again...how do I handle this in both scenarios?

I have been praying for him for a long time even before all this and it doesn't look like it has done him much good. :-(
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#15
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
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#15
JFSurvivor said:
ok. What if he doesn't come back? If he doesn't I can live with that...but what if he does...I can live with that too but it's just gonna be all confusing again...how do I handle this in both scenarios?

I have been praying for him for a long time even before all this and it doesn't look like it has done him much good. :-(
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Leave it in God's hands, sometimes all you can do is pray and then hand the situation to God. You can always pray for him when you feel like it because you obviously care about him but don't stress about it let God deal with situation. It's difficult especially when you really are concerned for someone but trusting in God and trusting he will do his best for this person is the best way to deal with this
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#16
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#16
Blain said:
Leave it in God's hands, sometimes all you can do is pray and then hand the situation to God. You can always pray for him when you feel like it because you obviously care about him but don't stress about it let God deal with situation. It's difficult especially when you really are concerned for someone but trusting in God and trusting he will do his best for this person is the best way to deal with this
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Thanks. :)
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#18
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#18
I also don't understand why he would say stuff like "This is an ordained friendship" and "you're my friend" and "I still care about you." and "You encouraged me so much" when all that stuff probably wasn't even true.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#19
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
113
#19
JFSurvivor said:
I also don't understand why he would say stuff like "This is an ordained friendship" and "you're my friend" and "I still care about you." and "You encouraged me so much" when all that stuff probably wasn't even true.
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It very well could have been true but life tends to be messed up and can change ppl. I think he meant it but from personal experience I know that life can make you very distant even to the point where block off even your closest friends.
 
JFSurvivor

JFSurvivor

Senior Member
#20
Jan 20, 2015
1,184
25
0
#20
Blain said:
It very well could have been true but life tends to be messed up and can change ppl. I think he meant it but from personal experience I know that life can make you very distant even to the point where block off even your closest friends.
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but it wasn't true. he contradicted himself and everything.
 
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