Punishment by parents?
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A
The leaves are green. +
The plant is growing. +
I'm giving it optimal conditions to grow. +
I'm not hovering, which usually means placing shade on the plant, which usually kills optimal conditions. +
I'm making sure, as much as possible, that it's not getting hit by too many vermin until it is grown. +
The flowers are blooming. +
I've already created the condition for the polinators. + (I'm not exactly sure that's good parenting skills, sine one of the reasons I was glad I never had kids was an in-built desire to lock the kids in their room to protect them, and then maybe, just maybe, let them out at 35. lol)
Little fruit is forming and nothing warped, dented, wormy, wrong with the form of the little fruit. +
If something is wrong, I immediately do the research to figure out the cause and then do whatever is within my power to correct the problem. +
I give the fruit time to grow, develop and then ripen. +
Bad news. I am a gardener. I'm just not a parent. Funny though how much gardening is like parenting. Once the fruit is set, it is no longer my responsibility to coddle the plant. All I have to do then is make sure it knows it has a home when the need arises.
The plant is growing. +
I'm giving it optimal conditions to grow. +
I'm not hovering, which usually means placing shade on the plant, which usually kills optimal conditions. +
I'm making sure, as much as possible, that it's not getting hit by too many vermin until it is grown. +
The flowers are blooming. +
I've already created the condition for the polinators. + (I'm not exactly sure that's good parenting skills, sine one of the reasons I was glad I never had kids was an in-built desire to lock the kids in their room to protect them, and then maybe, just maybe, let them out at 35. lol)
Little fruit is forming and nothing warped, dented, wormy, wrong with the form of the little fruit. +
If something is wrong, I immediately do the research to figure out the cause and then do whatever is within my power to correct the problem. +
I give the fruit time to grow, develop and then ripen. +
Bad news. I am a gardener. I'm just not a parent. Funny though how much gardening is like parenting. Once the fruit is set, it is no longer my responsibility to coddle the plant. All I have to do then is make sure it knows it has a home when the need arises.
I think that there is a huge difference between spanking as punishment and spanking as God's tool to help a child remember to do right.
Spanking if done should NEVER be done in anger and should be reminder that Jesus was stripped naked before a hostle crowd and beaten beyond recognition for the same fault for which they a receiving a mild reminder of His suffering.
The message intended was 'since you claim to love Jesus why are you giving Him more sin to pay for?'.
Spanking if done should NEVER be done in anger and should be reminder that Jesus was stripped naked before a hostle crowd and beaten beyond recognition for the same fault for which they a receiving a mild reminder of His suffering.
The message intended was 'since you claim to love Jesus why are you giving Him more sin to pay for?'.
A
What really bothered me was how many instantly agreed without checking more into the details. Marc has since given more details, but the votes were already in.
Most of the responses have more to do with national societal norms than the Bible. How about that? I could actually guess country according to the amount of revolt against spanking a teenager. It's not good when we choose societal norm over Bible.
I get we're going to have a knee-jerk reaction because of societal norm, but we're supposed to get over that, or, at the very least, deal with it.
Most of the responses have more to do with national societal norms than the Bible. How about that? I could actually guess country according to the amount of revolt against spanking a teenager. It's not good when we choose societal norm over Bible.
I get we're going to have a knee-jerk reaction because of societal norm, but we're supposed to get over that, or, at the very least, deal with it.
S
The point is that when a person is nearly full grown and you are still resorting to physical means to control behavior....it means that you have not invested in your child and have zero credibility with them. For someone who has has not navigated the minefield of parenthood....you sure are a good armchair quarterback....I'll give you that.
With regards to my post about a foolish parent, I spoke in generalities and did not single anyone out, so no, it was not an attack on an individual but an attack on an outdated ignorant method of parenting a teenager. If a parent wants to drive a wedge between them and their teenager...then by all means.....use corporal punishment on them....it's an effective method to use to teach a child to solve problems and learn the coping skill of violence.
Parents are responsible to their children....not for them. By that I mean, they are more responsible for their own behavior than that of the child, and kids will learn more from a measured thoughtful parent who controls themselves and teaches thru their words and actions versus controlling and manipulating with "spanking".
As an aside, I've spanked my children but very sparingly. We have a relationship and they respect me so I am able to instruct them in other ways than corporal punishment.
With regards to my post about a foolish parent, I spoke in generalities and did not single anyone out, so no, it was not an attack on an individual but an attack on an outdated ignorant method of parenting a teenager. If a parent wants to drive a wedge between them and their teenager...then by all means.....use corporal punishment on them....it's an effective method to use to teach a child to solve problems and learn the coping skill of violence.
Parents are responsible to their children....not for them. By that I mean, they are more responsible for their own behavior than that of the child, and kids will learn more from a measured thoughtful parent who controls themselves and teaches thru their words and actions versus controlling and manipulating with "spanking".
As an aside, I've spanked my children but very sparingly. We have a relationship and they respect me so I am able to instruct them in other ways than corporal punishment.
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K
Whatever society/country you come from 18 is too old to be spanking. They are not children by the age of 18. If one is not following house rules its time to find a job,move out and get life started on their own. As long as you stay at home parents will treat you like children and you will never grow up. Spanking,sparingly, when a younger child is one thing.A child need to understand the word no,and danger. By the time they are 7or8 they are old enough to understand right from wrong and to be rewarded when they do right and losing privileges when they do wrong. Slapping a grown man at 18,regardless the country,is abuse and ridiculous.By 18 you are an adult.Parents will never let go until you move out of the house.Even then there are lines they should not cross.Advice should only be given when asked for or when there is a sense someone is doing harm to themselves like drugs or drinking.By age 18 you are at the age of accountability and your parents no longer have say over your actions. To the OP,find a good friend,move out and share the rent.Your parents are treating you like a child,your old enough to be married by now. Move out and show them you are a man with a mind of your own and their parenting days are over.Period.
S
Children are so vastly different that it takes effort on the part of the parent to determine how a child best learns as well as assessing and making adjustments over time. Our goal should be to teach them the realities of life and that loving and obeying Jesus is the best way and installing a desire in them to love jesus. Spanking and or corporal punishment in the teenage years are ineffective at best and a way to drive a wedge between parent and child that will last a lifetime at worst.
a beaten dog will either turn on you or hide under the bed.
a beaten dog will either turn on you or hide under the bed.
M
Parental spanking in Switzerland, July 2003 - CORPUN ARCHIVE chd00307
Hi I found the above ruling dated 2003 about the legality of spanking in Swizterland.
Not sure if the legal position has changed since.
I noted also that you posted a similar thread last year aged 17 and I definitely do
not think it is acceptable for a mother to take a 17 year old over their knee and
spank their bare bottom. That is humiliating, shows no respect for you and
invades your own personal space and privacy and is just plain wrong.
Personally I think what you described then and now goes way beyond the boundaries
of normal discipline for an 18 year old.
I would hope that at your age any issues can be worked through between you and your parents.
Firstly I would suggest you exam your conduct was it wrong, were they right to get upset.
If so how about speaking to them and apologising and suggesting a way of recompense to
demonstrate your maturity ie offer to do some cleaning, mow the lawn etc. Then sit down
with them and explain that you do not think being sparked is acceptable at your age but that
you are willing to discuss issues which come up with them.
If they will not accept this and do not see that you are growing up, then I would suggest asking
someone to speak to them for you, maybe a pastor etc. If this still does not work then you may
have to consider moving out and getting your own place.
If the spanking takes place and they get annoyed for no good reason, or objectively it feels like
it is way over the top for the most minor things. Then it possibly amounts to abuse, possibly
verging on sexual abuse if you are stripped and spanked.
You will have to be very grown up about this and try to see both sides of things.
If however you feel endangered by what is happening and it goes much further than the occasional
instance of discipline, (this can include intimidation, threats etc), then you either need to get out,
tell a pastor or a teacher etc.
Thats my opinion any way, some may disagree but on the other foot if this was happening
to a 17 - 18 year old woman rather than a man, people would definitely be shouting abuse.
Hi I found the above ruling dated 2003 about the legality of spanking in Swizterland.
Not sure if the legal position has changed since.
I noted also that you posted a similar thread last year aged 17 and I definitely do
not think it is acceptable for a mother to take a 17 year old over their knee and
spank their bare bottom. That is humiliating, shows no respect for you and
invades your own personal space and privacy and is just plain wrong.
Personally I think what you described then and now goes way beyond the boundaries
of normal discipline for an 18 year old.
I would hope that at your age any issues can be worked through between you and your parents.
Firstly I would suggest you exam your conduct was it wrong, were they right to get upset.
If so how about speaking to them and apologising and suggesting a way of recompense to
demonstrate your maturity ie offer to do some cleaning, mow the lawn etc. Then sit down
with them and explain that you do not think being sparked is acceptable at your age but that
you are willing to discuss issues which come up with them.
If they will not accept this and do not see that you are growing up, then I would suggest asking
someone to speak to them for you, maybe a pastor etc. If this still does not work then you may
have to consider moving out and getting your own place.
If the spanking takes place and they get annoyed for no good reason, or objectively it feels like
it is way over the top for the most minor things. Then it possibly amounts to abuse, possibly
verging on sexual abuse if you are stripped and spanked.
You will have to be very grown up about this and try to see both sides of things.
If however you feel endangered by what is happening and it goes much further than the occasional
instance of discipline, (this can include intimidation, threats etc), then you either need to get out,
tell a pastor or a teacher etc.
Thats my opinion any way, some may disagree but on the other foot if this was happening
to a 17 - 18 year old woman rather than a man, people would definitely be shouting abuse.
I don't envision spanking my kids at 18. My kids are little, and I spank them very rarely and not nearly as hard as I was spanked, but they aren't wild and if I do spank them, it's for being slow about doing what they are told.
My advice would be to submit to your parents. What are you doing that gets you spanked or punished? Is it stuff like sneaking out past curfew, getting drunk, or something even wilder?
My advice would be to submit to your parents. What are you doing that gets you spanked or punished? Is it stuff like sneaking out past curfew, getting drunk, or something even wilder?
