Mercy! Be's remindin me! Figgerin you know'd Elduh Floyd got big head, bein 144,000 'n all. Thing be, Elduh Floyd also gettin big rear, mercy! Ever sints ah git King James Bible, Floyd ain't hearin me. As uzual, he show'd up liken ta bad pennee, all wayz rite 'bout time yoo thinkin may be's normal day.
Ah runs inta him et da Mini Mart, gettin me sum Gummi Worm. I's tellin him he need stop ettin whole box 'o them wide yellow stripe, 20% mo free jumbo Snicker bar 'fore lunch, else needin mo changin New Wurld Tranzlayshun to be sayin 144,001 chozen few, Floyd lookin liken big as two! I wuz also insistin no place, nowhere, nohow King James Bible says gate ta heaven be widen, case Floyd gits mind ta havin Watchtower Gran Panjandrum git dis wide gate writ in New Wurld. (Dats "nippin it in da crud," as sayin goez, iffin yoo wunder.) I also says he needs be stoppin bedtime snackins, stop sayin, "Oh me! I jus be's sooo tired! Time to et famlee size bag ripple chip, wit 2 leeter root beer." Try ta be tellin Floyd yoo go sleep when tired, hain't no signal ta emptee Mini Mart Lays dizplay!
Now, dis time I pays fer mah Gummi Worm, checkin mah shoo lase 'n gits all set, 'fore tellin Elduh Floyd, fer hiz own good, he ain't got no King James Bible, 'n he one clog artree from havin barberque chip in hell, dat der will be no gallon Rockee Roads ice creem 'fore soul sleepin, no sireee! Elduh Floyd gits all red in face 'n ah jus takes off, gits half block ways down hard road pert near sure, 'fore Elduh Floyd reackted liken ta Pentecostal unda LSD infloooense, wich I dint want ta be seein dis here day, wantin ta hav me sum Gummi Worm in peece. Hope da Mini Mart got insurrense.