Relationship survey for Christian males, aged 18-30

[BologneseBirmie]

I've been thinking about how I and future boyfriends can stay sexually pure in relationships. I wanted some insight into how young Christian males would feel about my relationship preferences, and I also wanted to find out their own preferences. I've created a survey, which isn't the best in the world lol, but I'd really appreciate it if you could answer as honestly as you can.


https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2DXDPMV

Thank you very much

 

[Lynx]

Will your conduct in this relationship change as a result of anything you learn from the survey responses?

If your conduct did alter as a result of survey responses... what in the world kind of relationship would that be?

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I'm doubting how helpful the survey will be to you in your own relationships, but here's to hoping you the best in your romantic ventures.

 

[Miri]

Hi bolognese, I don't think you have thought this through very well. I
honestly don't think your survey is at all appropriate for a Christian chat
website.

 

[skylove7]

Get a hobby while waiting on your true love to come along lol

 

[VioletReigns]

I don't recommend clicking on links from people you're not acquainted with. The internet is loaded with spambot programs which automatically troll web pages and harvest email addresses. They also wreak havoc on your computer with malware (malicious & hostile software).

 

[Liamson]

Don't think about the white bear. Don't think about its long dark claws. Do not give thoughts to its steely blue eyes. Give no consideration to its soft pale fur. Take no heed of its enormous size or its abundance of strength. No, in fact don't think of the White bear at all.

 

[mochi]

BologneseBirmie: if you found a right man, he will protect and honor you.. a man who truly mature in God will care about you (i know so many good man in my church and they are not talking about sex or something like that.. their focus in God not in flesh and its soooooo different)

Oh and i peek on your survey (even its for man..lol) and in my opinion: HAVE your own foundation.. STRONG foundation/principle.. not by what everyone suggest.. everyone can suggest what is good and its good for you to add as your list.. and it will good too if you have your own

 

[Consumed]

Apparently purity in relationships is an inappropriate topic for a christian website. Let's just ignore everything all together and we'll be better people for it

 

[Liamson]

Apparently purity in relationships is an inappropriate topic for a christian website. Let's just ignore everything all together and we'll be better people for it

Why do you suppose this?

 

[Consumed]

Why do you suppose this?

Just comments people have made on this thread

 

[cinder]

I think the best thing you can do to protect / restore sexual purity at this point is to massively change the way you think about relationships. If being in a relationship puts sex more on your mind and you date guys with the same view of relationships, it will be almost impossible to maintain purity. Your best bet, pull out of dating and relationships completely for a time. Use that time to get yourself and your priorities in order (and no, don't do the pseudo dating where you just hang out one on one with a good guy friend who is "just a friend" during this time either).

One of the other things that will be important is to learn to tell the difference between a guy who would date you just to try to get in your pants and a guy who really cares about you. What does he compliment you on? What do you two talk about? What interests and hobbies do you share? Is he sharing those things with you and inviting you to be a part of the rest of his life? While my dating experience is non-existent, I have come to realize that one of the things I would want out of a relationship is that a guy would invite me into his life. So if you aren't ever hanging out with his friends, going to church and bible studies together, going out and doing just normal everyday stuff together, etc that doesn't bode well for the health of your relationship. And keep your dates in public places and groups until the guy has earned your trust and you know he won't just try to turn things sexual the minute you two are alone together. Since you know you find maintaining purity challenging, if he complains about it, just tell him that you have struggled previously but now you are committed to waiting until marriage and not being alone privately in the early stages of a relationship is a rule you have established to help you keep that commitment.

Most of the time a relationship that is going to lead to a healthy marriage will last a year or more before the wedding takes place, so it would be unwise to turn things physical quickly. And if you make the guy wait a month or more for his first kiss with you, well many of those who just want sex will probably lose interest and break up with you before stuff turns physical and you will spare yourself the heartache of just being used for sex by a guy who said he loved you.

 

[BologneseBirmie]

Hi bolognese, I don't think you have thought this through very well. I
honestly don't think your survey is at all appropriate for a Christian chat
website.

Hi, why don't you think it's appropriate? I didn't intend for it to come across that way

 

[hoss2576]

I think it would help people to understand what you are trying to learn from your survey. As I looked at your survey, to me, it isn't what matters to Christian men that you should be asking. The best avenue is to discover what God's standard is in each area, because us guys fail plenty. We may have our preferences to different things, but in the end, what matters is if they line-up with what God says.

 

[BologneseBirmie]

Lol what do you mean?

 

[hoss2576]

Simply what are you trying to learn?

 

[Miri]

Hi, why don't you think it's appropriate? I didn't intend for it to come across that way

The survey is inappropriate in my opinion.

It also seems as if you are trying to base your standards on other peoples responses.
Honestly hon, it's for you to decide your own standards and if you really are a Christian,
to hopefully base your standards on the biblical principles you believe in.

I say "if you really are a Christian" because if you are following God then his word
needs to be your guide, not other people and to that end your survey serves no useful
purpose.

You also have no evidence that the people who may respond are actually Christians so to
that end the survey is flawed. For example if 100 non Christians responded and said
everything was acceptable, would you then decide they must be right and base your
own standards on their replies.

You need to seek out God's will and plan for your life and this cannot be determined by a
survey.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but please be careful there are a lot of people
out there who will use you and abuse you. Unless you have clear boundaries of your
own regardless of what others may think, then you might find yourself in for a lot of
heartache and regrets.

 

[Miri]

I am also not certain your intent and motives are as clear as you set
out.

Don't you think it is a little odd that someone who says they are a
Christian comes on a website like this and the first ever post they make is
about sexual preferences. Can't help wondering why?

You don't state your age, if you are a youngish teen then honestly I
think you need to speak to your parents or another adult you can trust.

 

[BologneseBirmie]

Thanks for answering. I've considered God's Word about this, and I've developed my standards/preferences. I made the survey because I wanted to see what standards/preferences young Christian men have, and how similar or different they may be to my own. I didn't realise this would seem inappropriate or intend for it to seem that way

 

[BologneseBirmie]

I'm 19, almost 20, and I joined the website because I wanted somewhere to spread my survey. My post and survey are about preferences concerning sexual purity, which is an important part of my faith.