Why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian girlfriend?
- Thread starter dothackzero
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N
If I knew id tell you. Id say just try to find out stuff about her. What she does for fun, favorite things, etc. Try to be funny although that usually doesnt come across good online. Just be yourself. If she doesn't like it. Then its not your problem, move on to the next one. Making friends with females will help some.
N
Believe me I know how that goes brother. 1 is the loneliest number. But we always have Christ to lean on. Its not fun being single at times, its very difficult. I was with a girl that I thought I loved and thought I would die with for about 5 years and it ended. Thank God that it did. She wasn't saved and she has no desire for God. I don't need that. If and when Christ says that I deserve that Gift of a woman in my life he will let me know. I am just trying to be patient and not worry about it. Even though that gets extremely hard at times. We have to stand strong. Look at paul, he was one of the most influential men in the Bible. He was beaten, single, starved you name it but above all he said he was content with whatever God gave him. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. It may be a long battle but there are many of us out there going through the same thing everyday, men and women. Some that have been doing it for 40 years. Keep your head up brother. We have an eternal promise
B
Well, firstly i just wanna say that you are only 21! 
Enjoy your life, laugh , love, go out, spend time with family, friends....pray and wait on the Lord....Just take one day at a time and trust that as you seek the Lord , everything else will be added to ya. You don't have to worry about it at all. Singleness can be quite a bonus actually when it comes to using your time for God...to serve Him. I really believe there are different seasons in our lives.....singleness is definitely one of them...and the key is being faithful in those seasons...until we move on to the next. Chill, I'll say it again that you do't have to worry about it. Gods plans for you and His thoughts for you are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. Use your time to serve God and reach out to people. Ask Him to prepare you to be the man he wants you to be. Work towards your vision and purpose...and just delight in God.....n just trust that He makes all things beautiful in His time. He really does
Enjoy your life, laugh , love, go out, spend time with family, friends....pray and wait on the Lord....Just take one day at a time and trust that as you seek the Lord , everything else will be added to ya. You don't have to worry about it at all. Singleness can be quite a bonus actually when it comes to using your time for God...to serve Him. I really believe there are different seasons in our lives.....singleness is definitely one of them...and the key is being faithful in those seasons...until we move on to the next. Chill, I'll say it again that you do't have to worry about it. Gods plans for you and His thoughts for you are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. Use your time to serve God and reach out to people. Ask Him to prepare you to be the man he wants you to be. Work towards your vision and purpose...and just delight in God.....n just trust that He makes all things beautiful in His time. He really does 
Ask her about her interests, if you don't have anything in common, odds are, forget about it. You run out of things to say within a short time, precisely when you have little in common with the person in the PM.
Well perhaps the cabbage thing is going too far but yea that has been my experience also. One thing we all have in common at this chat is faith in God. Why does nobody ever discuss God at this chatroom, or if they do its rare. I'm talking about the Lounge now.
Well perhaps the cabbage thing is going too far but yea that has been my experience also. One thing we all have in common at this chat is faith in God. Why does nobody ever discuss God at this chatroom, or if they do its rare. I'm talking about the Lounge now.
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Alright, that was quite the introduction to this thread. First of all: God didn't make a woman's backside for sexual activity. I'm frankly quite shocked that you would even mention this in a thread.
Secondly, based on what I am reading, I think you are far too self-absorbed. Forget about GAD (whatever that is) ADD and OCD (I know what those are) and social anxiety as well. My suggestion is that you need to get your focus on other people more, so maybe find some ways to give Christian service to others and it will help you balance yourself out.
And maybe while you are out doing some good, you might find your future sweet heart.
Quest
EDIT: I see this thread was created way long ago... oops...
Secondly, based on what I am reading, I think you are far too self-absorbed. Forget about GAD (whatever that is) ADD and OCD (I know what those are) and social anxiety as well. My suggestion is that you need to get your focus on other people more, so maybe find some ways to give Christian service to others and it will help you balance yourself out.
And maybe while you are out doing some good, you might find your future sweet heart.
Quest
EDIT: I see this thread was created way long ago... oops...
Anyway, please pray that I think with my head and God in mind when it comes to being friends with her, and not with my lower head.
Quest
N
Asking a man not to care about appearances is asking him not to be a man. It's wired into him, down to his very DNA. Now, don't get me wrong - as with anything in creation it can be (and has been) taken to excess - but "attractiveness" (which is more than physical appearance - it means that the person has qualities about them that draw you to them) is and should be part of the equation. Even Song of Songs seems to paint the picture that the sexes are different, and that the male one is more visually driven than emotionally driven. Doesn't mean that every guy requires a supermodel to consider her a prospect, but the reality is that most men don't. But she does have to be attractive. Whatever "attractive" works out to be, physical appearance is always going to be part of the formula.
Besides, I know a fair amount of Godly, single men who remain single because they lack a certain attractiveness about them.
Besides, I know a fair amount of Godly, single men who remain single because they lack a certain attractiveness about them.
D
I know there is attractiveness factors out there that involve personnality, but I dont believe that most church men think that way (in my experience). It never seems to shock me when I see a plain girl hardly getting a date in church and I see Mandy Moore praying in the pew with a wedding ring and a baby bump. There are great guys out there that aren't that "attractive" and are some of the most special people you'd ever meet. I know, I try to date them purposely.
My point is I hate it when guys say theres no Godly women left because it's simply not true. Try to find girls out there that may not be your "type" or in your "league" and you'll be pleasently surprised to find loyal, wonderful, caring individuals. Maybe the "unattractiveness" of that person starts to deminish. Besides in 50 years you'll both be saggy anyway.
N
You're right, though I think we may mean slightly different things when referring to "attractiveness."
A girl that is constantly concerned about "not being attractive" will turn away most men without even speaking to them a lot of the time. Who, in their right mind, wants to be the anchor for such an emotional black hole? Especially if there are others "competing" for interest who don't pose that problem as much? Let me put it this way.
Person is afraid/concerned they are not attractive.
Person's fixation, fear, and "shyness" because of this causes them to be less "attractive."
Person is less "attractive" than others who are not as inhibited by this fear.
Person blames it soley on their physical appearance.
Person continues spiral, and remains "unattractive."
I don't really get the Mandy Moore reference. Are you saying that someone who happens to be physically attractive should be not be more likely to find someone that finds her attractive? Isn't that arguing that physical attractiveness shouldn't matter to men at all?
For what it is worth, that "there aren't any Godly _____" line is used by both sides. These forums are a great example.
You either like someone or you don't. You don't "choose" to like someone in a way that will lead to a healthy marriage.
A girl that is constantly concerned about "not being attractive" will turn away most men without even speaking to them a lot of the time. Who, in their right mind, wants to be the anchor for such an emotional black hole? Especially if there are others "competing" for interest who don't pose that problem as much? Let me put it this way.
Person is afraid/concerned they are not attractive.
Person's fixation, fear, and "shyness" because of this causes them to be less "attractive."
Person is less "attractive" than others who are not as inhibited by this fear.
Person blames it soley on their physical appearance.
Person continues spiral, and remains "unattractive."
I don't really get the Mandy Moore reference. Are you saying that someone who happens to be physically attractive should be not be more likely to find someone that finds her attractive? Isn't that arguing that physical attractiveness shouldn't matter to men at all?
For what it is worth, that "there aren't any Godly _____" line is used by both sides. These forums are a great example.
You either like someone or you don't. You don't "choose" to like someone in a way that will lead to a healthy marriage.
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I might be a pessimist but i dont think you really can just be a really holy and good christian and find a good mate without God. To do that you need to act like the world otherwise your dating pool is more like 1%. Most christian guys and girls i know who find mates i would class as worldly in a number of respects. To their loss, no girl wants someone apparently 'too spiritual', or anyone who is holier than she is.