A
[SUB]I'm a bit perplexed. I'm hoping to get some help.
I know we're supposed to love one another. I know we're supposed to press toward being more like Christ. I just don't know how to tell the difference between that and good manners, or even if there is a difference. I suspect there is.
I see people bending over backward and even maybe a little upside down to reprove in a loving way, and I really get they are loving. It's not an act. I'd like to be more like that.
But then I see others being just as loving and yet say things I don't dare say, because it doesn't seem mannerly. (Manners was really drilled into me as a kid -- even before I remembered having anything drilled into me. lol)
And, in both cases, I see the same results -- 90% of the time they get sliced-and-diced by the person they're trying to talk things out with. So, frankly, neither approach seems to work, and it feels like there is no approach that will ever work, except through a major miracle from God.
So, honestly asking? Anyone have any scripture that tells us how to do this? Anyone know the differences of "nice," "mannerly," "boldly," or "God's way" of handling it?
And, yes, I know the go-to verses.
Matt. 15:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
I just don't know the Biblical way to "tell him his faults." I know what my training is. Not the same thing.
I don't want to be a doormat nor "brutally honest." I want it God's way, but I don't know what that looks like, so does anyone have any verses for that? Including how to react when it doesn't go well? (I'm thinking punching isn't it. lol)[/SUB]
I know we're supposed to love one another. I know we're supposed to press toward being more like Christ. I just don't know how to tell the difference between that and good manners, or even if there is a difference. I suspect there is.
I see people bending over backward and even maybe a little upside down to reprove in a loving way, and I really get they are loving. It's not an act. I'd like to be more like that.
But then I see others being just as loving and yet say things I don't dare say, because it doesn't seem mannerly. (Manners was really drilled into me as a kid -- even before I remembered having anything drilled into me. lol)
And, in both cases, I see the same results -- 90% of the time they get sliced-and-diced by the person they're trying to talk things out with. So, frankly, neither approach seems to work, and it feels like there is no approach that will ever work, except through a major miracle from God.
So, honestly asking? Anyone have any scripture that tells us how to do this? Anyone know the differences of "nice," "mannerly," "boldly," or "God's way" of handling it?
And, yes, I know the go-to verses.
Matt. 15:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
I just don't know the Biblical way to "tell him his faults." I know what my training is. Not the same thing.
I don't want to be a doormat nor "brutally honest." I want it God's way, but I don't know what that looks like, so does anyone have any verses for that? Including how to react when it doesn't go well? (I'm thinking punching isn't it. lol)[/SUB]