The context is... EGYPT vs ISREAL. That Pharoh was against and his heart was already hard... by choices... then God executed Judgement for it on behalf of HIS people. I think it is not a good idea to get overly involved in the "personal" aspects of some OT topics when the context is NATIONS.
The context was definitely nations and not individuals in relation to another oft-quoted portion of scripture in relation to "election":
"And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac; (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth); It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated." (Romans 9:10-13)
I just have to quickly mention that my quote began with "and not only this". IOW, this is another example of what Paul was already describing in relation to "election" and I'll come back to that in a moment. Contextually, when Paul said that God "hated Esau", he was actually referring to the nation of Edom which sprang forth out of Esau. This can be seen by examining the two passages of scripture which Paul actually quoted to make his case, namely the following:
"And Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to inquire of the LORD. And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger. And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau. And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them." (Genesis 25:21-26)
If you follow the actual individual lives of Jacob and Esau in scripture, then Esau never served Jacob. No, as God had foretold, it was the "nation" or "people" of Esau/Edom who would one day serve the "nation" or "people" of Jacob/Israel and in this sense alone "the elder shall serve the younger". IOW, God was referring to Esau in Paul's quote in Romans on a national level and not on an individual level. Paul also referred to Esau on a national level in his second quote:
"The burden of the word of the LORD to Israel by Malachi. I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness. Whereas Edom saith, We are impoverished, but we will return and build the desolate places; thus saith the LORD of hosts, They shall build, but I will throw down; and they shall call them, The border of wickedness, and, The people against whom the LORD hath indignation for ever." (Malachi 1:1-4)
First off, this word was given to Israel (Jacob) by God through the prophet Malachi somewhere around 1,400 years after the actual births of Jacob and Esau. Again, contextually, God was not talking about the individuals, Jacob and Esau, but instead about the nations which came about through their lineage or about the nation of Israel (Jacob) and the nation of Edom (Esau). Read the passage again in Malachi. Whereas God had shown and would continue to show mercy to the remnant of Jacob or Israel (He loved Jacob) which truly constitutes being a part of "the Israel of God" (Romans 9:6-7, Galatians 6:16, etc.), He called Edom "the people against whom the LORD hath indignation for ever" (He hated Esau). Anyhow, my point is that the "hatred" spoken of in Romans chapter 9 was, contextually, a "hatred" on a national level as opposed to on an individual level. This is not to say, however, that God didn't have ample reasons to "hate" the individual Esau. Esau did despise his birthright and he sold it for some pottage (Genesis 25:29-34) and he never repented of the same (Hebrews 12:15-17) and he is therefore given as an example of one who "failed the grace of God" as a "profane person". Even though God did "love Jacob", this "love" doesn't mean national salvation for Israel because, again, they are not all Israel which are of Israel in God's eyes:
"Not as though the word of God hath taken none effect. For they are not all Israel, which are of Israel: Neither, because they are the seed of Abraham, are they all children: but, In Isaac shall thy seed be called. That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed." (Romans 9:6-8)
The point that Paul was building upon in Romans chapter 9 is that salvation has nothing at all to do with one's national identity ("they are not all Israel which are of Israel") and nothing at all to do with one's birth status as the firstborn ("the elder shall serve the younger"), but everything to do with the election of God by grace or through faith in Christ. Much of natural Israel has rejected Christ and they are therefore not a part of "the Israel of God". Similarly, although Esau was the firstborn, he sold his birthright for some pottage and he never truly trusted in Christ and he is therefore not one of God's "elect". God's true "elected" one or true "chosen" one is Jesus Christ and we simply have no "election" ourselves outside of Him:
"Behold my servant, whom I uphold; mine elect, in whom my soul delighteth; I have put my spirit upon him: he shall bring forth judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not cry, nor lift up, nor cause his voice to be heard in the street. A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench: he shall bring forth judgment unto truth. He shall not fail nor be discouraged, till he have set judgment in the earth: and the isles shall wait for his law." (Isaiah 42:1-4)
God's "elect" is Jesus Christ as this is Who the prophet Isaiah was speaking of as is confirmed for us in Matthew's gospel:
"Then the Pharisees went out, and held a council against him, how they might destroy him. But when Jesus knew it, he withdrew himself from thence: and great multitudes followed him, and he healed them all; And charged them that they should not make him known: That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Behold my servant, whom I have chosen; my beloved, in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my spirit upon him, and he shall shew judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. And in his name shall the Gentiles trust." (Matthew 12:14-21)
Again, Jesus Christ is God's "elect" or God's servant "Whom He has chosen". If, when everything is said and done, we are found to be in God's "elect" or in God's "chosen" or in Christ, then we ourselves will have been "elected" or "chosen" in Him. If, on the other hand, when everything is said and done, we are not found to be in God's "elect" or in God's "chosen" or in Christ, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves. As Christians, we are called to give all diligence to make our calling and election sure, even if you're labeled as being a Pharisee (got that one today myself on another thread), a legalist or whatever, and we'd all be wise to do just that:
"Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." (II Peter 2:1-11)
No matter who suggests anything to you to the contrary, Peter admonished Christians to give all diligence while adding several things unto their faith. Those who obey such an admonition and have such things found within themselves in abundance shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ and they shall never fail, but they shall instead have an entrance ministered unto them abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Those who disobey such an admonition? Well, they are blind and cannot see afar off and they have forgotten that they were purged from their old sins and the implication is that their calling and election are anything but sure.