My shield doesn't work

[atwhatcost]

My apologies for spelling your name incorrectly, Lihle.

I admit it. I don't really know how to pronounce her name, so I'm making it up. I've been thinking of her as a Lily (Asian ones, not mere day lilies. Asian Lilies are strong and determined flowers... not to mention beautiful.) But I know there's an H in there, so I've been slurring it to Lilhe too.

Thanks for making me feel better that I've been pronouncing her name wrong, but at least I'm not the only one to goof. lol

 

[Magenta]

I admit it. I don't really know how to pronounce her name, so I'm making it up. I've been thinking of her as a Lily (Asian ones, not mere day lilies. Asian Lilies are strong and determined flowers... not to mention beautiful.) But I know there's an H in there, so I've been slurring it to Lilhe too.

Thanks for making me feel better that I've been pronouncing her name wrong, but at least I'm not the only one to goof. lol

You are so funny! Truly, I appreciate your forthrightness

 

[lihle]

I admit it. I don't really know how to pronounce her name, so I'm making it up. I've been thinking of her as a Lily (Asian ones, not mere day lilies. Asian Lilies are strong and determined flowers... not to mention beautiful.) But I know there's an H in there, so I've been slurring it to Lilhe too.

Thanks for making me feel better that I've been pronouncing her name wrong, but at least I'm not the only one to goof. lol

It's Lihle whisc means beautiful in Xhosa ( my home language ) this is the easiest to pronounce, my language has a lot of click sounds.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Lihle, you have more tolerance than I do for the bickering on this thread, between BarlyGurl and VioletReigns. If they had done this on one of MY threads, I would've kicked them both off and asked them not to return.. :/ lol..

 

[kaylagrl]

By looking at the surface of what is going on here... Lihle, It sorta looks like you are shaking your fist at Willi-T and declaring you are "FINE" in what you are doing on your OWN.

I would like to you take a minute and consider What the word of God says...
1Cor. 11:9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

Gen. 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

I read in these scriptures that, WOMAN was created for man. I happen to believe God, so that said, when I refer back to your "fist shaking" comment to willi-T... and look past willi.... I have no trouble seeing God standing behind him... so Lihle, are you meaning to be shakng your fist at God? I don't think you are... but I DO think maybe you need some help looking at your situation in a different way.

It is TRUE, you are fearfully and wonderfully made... you are a woman God created for man. It is not good for a man to be alone and it is reciprocally TRUE for a woman.

This is what I know about you lilhe, You love the lord, you were a good and honorable wife, you sadly miss the relationship of your previous marriage, you have honored your husband and his memory by mourning not just the required 1 year but for 2 years, you are not greedy, you do not seek after selfish desires, you are generous, you are considerate to culture and make an effort to be peaceful in faith and walk righteously, you work, you serve, your family despicably takes advantage of you and your resources including leaving you in lack, you care for your children, you teach them about the lord, you are faithful, you are lonely, YOU ARE A WIDOW.

Lilhe, you are the proverbs 31 woman some God fearing Christian man is seeking for. I have no trouble imagining that man pouring out his request to God to help him and direct him to a wonderful Christian woman to be his helpmeet. In fact, I can even go so far as to say.... maybe that man is already watching YOU and because he is a good man, he is waiting and waiting for you to take off your mourning dress and "signal" that you are ready to be courted again. This is a good man who would not approach you otherwise.

Do you see from my perspective how your "shield" can actually be blocking the very life and blessing God has for your future?

You are a WIDOW, your husband has died and you are FREE in the Lord to become another man's wife, you are a precious and beautiful daughter of God... and he has a purpose and a plan and provision for you... I truly believe... it is much BIGGER than the single-future you have settled on yourself.

I remember asking in prayer for you that the Lord would bring you a special friend... I do think it is very likely... that special friend is in the form of a new husband for you, and your fatherless children and for the Glory of God.

Are you willing to believe this is possible too?

While its possible that Gods future plan for her may be marriage it may also be that she will stay single. Singleness is also a gift from God. A single person can spend more time in prayer and more time serving the Lord because they do not have a husband to care for.Right now she is happy in her singleness and if the Lord directs her differently he will open her heart to another man.He will give her that wanting to be a partner again.

I dont think she was shaking her fist at Willie.She was trying to be clear that she doesnt want a relationship and she may never.Theres nothing wrong with that.My aunt,mothers sister,died of stomach cancer at the age of 43.Her husband mourned so long,some began to try and push him into dating and getting over my aunt.Everyone had advice and it was stressing him.He talked to me about it and I said "When you are ready you will let go.Dont let anyone push you to do anything." Not long after he slipped quietly into the house after work and left a favorite jacket my aunt owned for my mother.We didnt even see him,just the coat hanging there later that day.From then on he got rid of her clothes and eventually got married again.No one can say how long a mourning period lasts.If she feels she doesnt want to marry again its not wrong to stay single.She had the gift of marriage and now it seems she wants to remain single. God will change her heart if the time comes.

 

[kaylagrl]

Are you aware this is Lihle's post? And, more important, are you noticing what Lihle is liking in this?

The PM system works on this site. I know. I've used it.

Also the ignore button is a personal choice. If someone gets your goat, use it. Don't tell the goat-getter to use it.

Don't make me stop this car.... whoops. Sorry. Mom's voice echoed in my brain for a moment there.

Dont make me stop this car ....lol Sorry it stuck me funny. Must be all the nyquil Im taking

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

In the end Lihle - what do u think u might do. I have this issue as well and I put my FACE on "Stop - Dont bother OK". That works sometimes and other times not.

Does the body language work in your culture?

Please excuse my intrusion into this thread.

But I felt a nudge to bring something to attention:

(zoii's profile image)

This image is a stark resemblance from a television series called Dark Angel and while this might not be an actual image from television, my point remains the same: The World of television (or modern art) knows that sex sells. Here we have a dark image of a young woman with angelic wings. She is also wearing high-heels and is wearing very immodest clothing. This image can be described as dark and sexy.

One glance at your avatar looks like a young woman wearing a tanktop (which is defined as a close-fitting, sleeveless top).

One seemingly obvious and simple suggestion is that if you are receiving too much unwanted attention from the opposite sex -- reconsider how you're presenting yourself in public.

Forgive me if I have communicated this in an offensive manner (and please tell me how I can improve in the future).


Also, as for the conversation of this thread -- the only thing that I would like to add, Lihle, is that perhaps some/most of these men find your rejection of them to be attractive. Evil men want that (who) they cannot have. I hope that you are able to find some support here -- it looks like some of the ladies have already provided better support than I would know how to. Keeping focused on God is key.

Kind Regards,
PW

 

[VioletReigns]

Lihle, you have more tolerance than I do for the bickering on this thread, between BarlyGurl and VioletReigns. If they had done this on one of MY threads, I would've kicked them both off and asked them not to return.. :/ lol..

You're a hoot! You and I have come to each other's aid as well, if I recall. It wasn't "bickering" then. ROFL!!

 

[zoii]

so - u got to me profile...seriously why would u - ur twice my age....u know I keep like tons of modern art pics that I rotate through my profile pic...u pick one that's a well known digital art piece called sad angel.... n u wanna make some sort of sexual point about it n connect me to that sexual view....have I summed that up right?

 

[zoii]

Oh and PW - for the record u did post in an offensive manner n u know u did. That's why u took a photo from my album and posted it in a public forum making sexual innuendo about its appearance. N dont for a moment think ur qualified to offer me advice after doing such a thing

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

so - u got to me profile...seriously why would u - ur twice my age....

Well now, don't flatter yourself -- I'm married. Believe it or not, people view profiles for legitimate reasons other than searching for a mate.

u know I keep like tons of modern art pics that I rotate through my profile pic...u pick one that's a well known digital art piece called sad angel.... n u wanna make some sort of sexual point about it n connect me to that sexual view....have I summed that up right?

All I am saying is that if you have too much unwanted attention from the opposite gender, perhaps you should consider how you are presenting yourself to that gender.

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

Oh and PW - for the record u did post in an offensive manner n u know dam well u did. That's why u took a photo from my album and posted it in a public forum making sexual innuendo about its appearance. N dont for a moment think ur qualified to offer me advice after doing such a thing

If I was offensive to you, please tell me how I could have brought this to the thread's attention without causing offense.

Your profile photo is public -- I didn't make it public. That photo is dark and sexy -- I didn't make it that way.

 

[zoii]

PW you have zero idea of how I present myself - and as for the opposite gender, which includes you, you can read my verbal and non-verbal and recognise NO. N don't advise me how to dress when u have no idea how I dress. Its funny how men always blame their crappy actions on the allure of women. How about the guys just take responsibility for their own brains

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

Is there a way to discuss perception and modesty without offending young women?

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

PW you have zero idea of how I present myself - and as for the opposite gender, which includes you, you can read my verbal and non-verbal and recognise NO. N don't advise me how to dress when u have no idea how I dress. Its funny how men always blame their crappy actions on the allure of women. How about the guys just take responsibility for their own brains

You're correct -- I have zero idea of how you present yourself in person. However, I have a clear example of how you present yourself in online forums.

The only advice that was given is acceptable advice for any person, of any gender.

But, with you, the point is not that you receive the advice, but that you receive the warning; I am trying to bring something to your attention, in the kindest way possible: Your avatar is considered immodest by many. Your profile picture as well.

I am sorry that this is offensive to you -- but it's the honest truth.

 

[VioletReigns]

Are you aware this is Lihle's post? And, more important, are you noticing what Lihle is liking in this?

The PM system works on this site. I know. I've used it.

Also the ignore button is a personal choice. If someone gets your goat, use it. Don't tell the goat-getter to use it.

Don't make me stop this car.... whoops. Sorry. Mom's voice echoed in my brain for a moment there.

Dont make me stop this car ....lol Sorry it struck me funny. Must be all the nyquil Im taking

The funniest thing to me is if you're going to market the concept of "submissiveness", wouldn't you think a display of it would be your best selling tool?

I was never a proponent for the "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!" philosophy.

 

[zoii]

Don't try and go all Mahatma Gandhi when u went to my profile n found a pic that u could put up here in a public forum, n suggest that the picture is how I dress. You could have made your point about modest dress without using my art I store or without directing it at me - YOU chose to direct it at ME and make it personal and in a way that would embarrass me in a public forum . And now u wanna claim the high moral ground of just educating me - Wow men.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[blue_ladybug]

so - u got to me profile...seriously why would u - ur twice my age....u know I keep like tons of modern art pics that I rotate through my profile pic...u pick one that's a well known digital art piece called sad angel.... n u wanna make some sort of sexual point about it n connect me to that sexual view....have I summed that up right?

Oh and PW - for the record u did post in an offensive manner n u know u did. That's why u took a photo from my album and posted it in a public forum making sexual innuendo about its appearance. N dont for a moment think ur qualified to offer me advice after doing such a thing

1.) Calm down and watch your language..

2.) Using your profile pic as an example, PW was saying that women sometimes dress in a way that attracts unwanted attention. He was making a statement, not about you personally, but about inappropriate dress in general. However, Lihle's problem is that she IS dressed modestly, and men STILL give her attention. I saw nothing offensive in PW's post.

3.) Profiles are public. And yes, even men can visit them. That's how we get to know more about people on here. So ANYONE who clicks on your profile can see your picture. PW didn't put it in the public eye, YOU did when you put it as your profile picture.. And angels don't dress in high heels and skimpy clothes.. THAT'S what PW meant when he said the world of tv, modern art, etc, knows that "sex sells." He wasn't referring to how YOU dress.

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

Thanks Lady Blue

[h=1]1 Corinthians 8:9 English Standard Version (ESV)[/h]9 But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.

 

[zoii]

I don't need a lecture from either of u...PW u can admit u were offensive n apologise for what u deliberately aimed at me or say nothing further to me. Lady blue u can defend his actions all u want....I cant tell u how offended n angry I am with u both...say nothing more