So God hates divorce...

[Mae1117]

Last year my husband of 23 years left me and our kids without warning. We had been a happy family. He literally left everything - me, our kids, our church, his faith and friends, even his clothes and hobbies. Although he is engaged in an affair, I still firmly believe that he could be reconciled to God and perhaps even us.

Even though the bible permits divorce under these circumstances - I do not feel right filing. I still believe I should wait this out. The question is, how? There is so much hurt and devastation/

 

[BarlyGurl]

PM me if you would like...

 

[Agricola]

To be honest it is over. DO not be ashamed in seeking a divorce.

 

[Utah]

I'm all about grace, but the dude left his kids; that speaks volumes.

 

[psalm6819]

The best place for counseling would be your pastor or his wife or a professional. You can get input here and comfort from some but in the end the decision is between you, your husband and God.

 

[shotgunner]

I really feel for you. Yes, God hates divorce but what he hates about it is the hurt it causes his children. It's not the document that God hates but the act of breaking a covenant that you have made with your spouse. Your husband has already in that sense divorced you. You are under no obligation to not file the papers so that you can legally move on with your life. God still has a wonderful plan for your life.

Romans 8:28King James Version (KJV)[SUP]28 [/SUP]And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

This verse in no way means that God causes any bad things to bring about something good. What it means is that God is always working for your good. He will even use this terrible thing to teach you some things and he will give you something even better.

If my daughter burns her hand on the stove I will use that hurt to teach her. I did not however make her burn herself so she could learn. That's what the verse above means. Trust God and he will deliver you!

 

[49]

Praying for you Mae.

 

[gkroo]

No, God does not hate divorce. What he dislikes is husbands not loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. But what does He say, what do you read? I apologize for the Bible to be geared toward the male of the species. But the meaning of the words come from the male to the female.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Read that repeatedly. Save for what? What does that mean?

πορνεία
porneia
por-ni'-ah
From G4203; harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively idolatry: - fornication.
G4203
πορνεύω
porneuō
porn-yoo'-o
From G4204; to act the harlot, that is, (literally) indulge unlawful lust (of either sex), or (figuratively) practise idolatry: - commit (fornication).
G4204
πόρνη
pornē
por'-nay
Feminine of G4205; a strumpet; figuratively an idolater: - harlot, whore.
G4205
πόρνος
pornos
por'-nos
From πέρνημι pernēmi (to sell; akin to the base of G4097); a (male) prostitute (as venal), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine): - fornicator, whoremonger.

So, in the beginning if the woman (or man) were to become attached to someone else, not necessarily sexually, but in the form of allegiance, so much so that it would cause disruptions in the fulfillment of the one desire, that would not be a cause for divorce.

But, that gets into the eating of the fruit of the tree that the woman, later named Eve, ate and gave to the man who was told not to eat.

But that gets into the whole battle between Satan and God.

 

[gkroo]

But, that also gets into when the woman was created and brought to the man, the man said at the end '. . . the man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.' What was the meaning of the name Eve? Who was Eve? Eve was . . .
'The mother of all living.' Adam is to leave Eve and cleave to his wife.

 

[Mae1117]

For the record, the bible specifically says God hates divorce. And in the end. I may not even have a say if he files. I have an amazing counselor and strong church and am grateful. Although my heart is broken, I'll be ok

 

[BarlyGurl]

No, God does not hate divorce. What he dislikes is husbands not loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. But what does He say, what do you read? I apologize for the Bible to be geared toward the male of the species. But the meaning of the words come from the male to the female.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

I really like how you pointed out that God, man, woman order structure in the beginning of your post. I also would like to point out that on WHOM is the blame laid for cause of adultery???

I also would like to encourage the OP that if she believes the HS is prompting her to "wait" she will be supported by others to do that too. The loving Lord does not pour hope and longing for the same if he has no intention to fulfill it. Seek the Lord with all your heart... he will answer you... be assured.

We do serve a God who sometimes brings wayward prodigal spouses to repentance and causes them to come home and builds a better marriage from the ashes of the old.

 

[Mae1117]

Malachi 2:16

 

[KennethC]

Malachi 2:16

Yes Malachi 2:16 does say God hates divorce, but read it carefully again to see why He does.

It shows because of the strife it causes between people, as only a small percentage of divorces are handled in a respectful manner. As the partners usually fight and bicker over who gets what, and when kids are involved they suffer verbally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically.

I have been in a divorce and my ex tried using my son against me, and even held him from me multiple times just because she didn't get what she wanted. Putting our son in the middle where he should never of been, as our divorce should not have been taken out on him.

Lord Jesus gave an exception to the divorce rule in Matthew 5:32, 19:9 to show one would not be under sin in those cases, and also Apostle Paul also expounds on the divorce standards in 1 Corinthians 7.

 

[gkroo]

In comes Moses though. Down from the volcano he comes with some tablets. He gets mad and smashes them and has to go back up and get some more. He promises the people a land flowing with milk and honey and he leads them into a desert where they complain about starving and thirsting to death. Never fear, he says. I AM hath sent me to you. From the rocks, he brought water and from the air he made food. The people were satisfied. For awhile. Moses died.
The land went back to being rocky and forbidden and the people grew weary and became selfserving. Noah was born and the people rejoiced saying, 'Noah will save us from this cursed land!' Yeah well, we know what happened there. Only Noah an his family remained after he built the ark and stocked it. But now we come to the present day, Noah"s gone, but we have another savior. Jesus Christ. They say He is the One!

 

[phil112]

Last year my husband of 23 years left me and our kids without warning. We had been a happy family. He literally left everything - me, our kids, our church, his faith and friends, even his clothes and hobbies. Although he is engaged in an affair, I still firmly believe that he could be reconciled to God and perhaps even us.

Even though the bible permits divorce under these circumstances - I do not feel right filing. I still believe I should wait this out. The question is, how? There is so much hurt and devastation/

1 Corinthians chapter 7 is for you.
I have been thru exactly what you are going thru, and I have studied this topic intensively and prayerfully.
If you have any questions I would be glad to talk to you about them.
Paul said everything we need to know about such things. 1 Corinthians, chapter 7.

Again, if you have questions about how God addresses this after reading that chapter just PM me.

 

[phil112]

No, God does not hate divorce......................

If you don't know scripture should you be giving advice?

 

[atwhatcost]

Last year my husband of 23 years left me and our kids without warning. We had been a happy family. He literally left everything - me, our kids, our church, his faith and friends, even his clothes and hobbies. Although he is engaged in an affair, I still firmly believe that he could be reconciled to God and perhaps even us.

Even though the bible permits divorce under these circumstances - I do not feel right filing. I still believe I should wait this out. The question is, how? There is so much hurt and devastation/

How about not going by your feelings without first checking what God is giving you? The Bible says a lot more about marriage than merely hating divorce. Study it. Do word studies on marriage, spouses, and divorce. You'll find out God is talking to you specifically and giving you an answer that's better than feeling -- one where you'll know what to do because God gave you his word. He is God. He can and does do this for his kids.

 

[phil112]

...........................Even though the bible permits divorce under these circumstances - I do not feel right filing. I still believe I should wait this out. The question is, how? There is so much hurt and devastation/

Unreal the amount of bad advice you are getting from "believers" in a bible room.

1 Corinthians 7:13-15 "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."

You are doing the right thing to resist filing. God would prefer reconciliation. If you are able to take him back and he wants to, that is the ideal situation.
However, if he chooses to leave, that is also his right. We are not told to, nor ever meant to, force our will on another.
If he files, you are no longer under bondage to that marriage vow. He broke it, and that abolishes it.
Stay in prayer with God.

Paul, in this passage, gives the gentile the only advice God meant for us to have on this subject. The only time scripture speaks to the gentile about divorce and marriage in depth is here. Period.

 

[atwhatcost]

I really like how you pointed out that God, man, woman order structure in the beginning of your post. I also would like to point out that on WHOM is the blame laid for cause of adultery???

I also would like to encourage the OP that if she believes the HS is prompting her to "wait" she will be supported by others to do that too. The loving Lord does not pour hope and longing for the same if he has no intention to fulfill it. Seek the Lord with all your heart... he will answer you... be assured.

We do serve a God who sometimes brings wayward prodigal spouses to repentance and causes them to come home and builds a better marriage from the ashes of the old.

Really? Tell that one to Hosea! His hope and longing poured through his book.

We also serve a God and yet terrible things still happen to us. He gives the reason why. You give your hope instead.

 

[atwhatcost]

Unreal the amount of bad advice you are getting from "believers" in a bible room.

1 Corinthians 7:13-15 "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."

You are doing the right thing to resist filing. God would prefer reconciliation. If you are able to take him back and he wants to, that is the ideal situation.
However, if he chooses to leave, that is also his right. We are not told to, nor ever meant to, force our will on another.
If he files, you are no longer under bondage to that marriage vow. He broke it, and that abolishes it.
Stay in prayer with God.

Paul, in this passage, gives the gentile the only advice God meant for us to have on this subject. The only time scripture speaks to the gentile about divorce and marriage in depth is here. Period.

Also unreal how many folks here seem to know exactly what God wants from Mae. What is so wrong with actually having her check with God, instead of getting verse after verse of seemingly opposite opinions?