I just know when we act on free will, more often than not, we screw up. Free will is a great thing, don't get me wrong,but tthere's a reason why we as humans fail more often than do things right with it. Because we act on what we feel and think, rather than act on what God is telling us, or actually sit and listen to what He tells us. I don't know. I may be the only one that thinks this, but if we are to trust in Christ for all things, then that should include pursuing relationships. Rather than tell God what we want, we should ask Him what He wants from us. Because I have failed numerous times, both with and without relationships, when trying to tell God with what I want. Again, maybe it's just me.
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R
haha desperate... that's a fair assumption from the text. But no, it's a matter of obeying my rational thoughts or not. Me and alone are so the best buddies. We like each other a lot. But I've always said i'll keep my eyes open, just in case i met some amazing.
All this is is the rational part of me wondering why I am ignoring signs that on paper, should indicate attraction and comparability. The emotive side, which fits into the rational camp too isn't following suit. Disobedient little swine.
It's just an odd apparent contradiction in internal logic. I hate those
So, the forum post to gather other perspectives.
But you are right about one thing. She is amazing and I would never want to lose her as a friend. Such a good rational head on that one!
All this is is the rational part of me wondering why I am ignoring signs that on paper, should indicate attraction and comparability. The emotive side, which fits into the rational camp too isn't following suit. Disobedient little swine.
It's just an odd apparent contradiction in internal logic. I hate those
So, the forum post to gather other perspectives.
But you are right about one thing. She is amazing and I would never want to lose her as a friend. Such a good rational head on that one!
R
Ahh Seoulsearch, you gem. Every time you respond to someone you really take the time. Thanks
Your stories give food for thought.
I will continue to give this matter due prayer and thought and see where God takes me on this. I don't expect anything will change, but if something does happen, sure, I'll update
Your stories give food for thought.
I will continue to give this matter due prayer and thought and see where God takes me on this. I don't expect anything will change, but if something does happen, sure, I'll update
R
Thank you Shineyourlight, you speak some wise words at the end there. IO agree that Loneliness should not a main motivator in seeking romantic relationship. Objectivity is inevitably skewed
Know I am not lonely, and will indeed treat my friend with the respect she deserves as a redeemed daughter of God. I do try for that with everyone, but she does make it easy being so excellent.
Know I am not lonely, and will indeed treat my friend with the respect she deserves as a redeemed daughter of God. I do try for that with everyone, but she does make it easy being so excellent.
R
Ah bless you poetmary, your words here are what the emotive part of me wants to say well, but is too rational.
It's the mystery of love. Overly analytical thought seems to hold no approach. A person can be perfect, but for some reason there isn't anything there. That love, that reason for a want of connection beyond intimate (close) friendship is the mystery, that for some reason, feels like it shouldn't be quantifiable - that it should reject the very process of being analysed.
While the rational part of my brain boos and hisses, my emotive side leaps for joy at the prospect of that unknown.
Thank you for your words. Gaining new perspective is always exciting.
It's the mystery of love. Overly analytical thought seems to hold no approach. A person can be perfect, but for some reason there isn't anything there. That love, that reason for a want of connection beyond intimate (close) friendship is the mystery, that for some reason, feels like it shouldn't be quantifiable - that it should reject the very process of being analysed.
While the rational part of my brain boos and hisses, my emotive side leaps for joy at the prospect of that unknown.
Thank you for your words. Gaining new perspective is always exciting.
Thank you Shineyourlight, you speak some wise words at the end there. IO agree that Loneliness should not a main motivator in seeking romantic relationship. Objectivity is inevitably skewed
Know I am not lonely, and will indeed treat my friend with the respect she deserves as a redeemed daughter of God. I do try for that with everyone, but she does make it easy being so excellent.
Know I am not lonely, and will indeed treat my friend with the respect she deserves as a redeemed daughter of God. I do try for that with everyone, but she does make it easy being so excellent.
I think that's wonderful you treat people as brothers & sisters. Honor others above oneself!
C
Charles Stanley is one of my favs I catch him online weekly
I catch him online weekly
U
I would not date them. Just because you get along well doesn't mean you have to force the relationship into something romantic, just because. If this were a man it wouldn't be an issue, but because it's a woman suddenly the dating idea gives many the impression you Have to do something about it. Wrong. You aren't romantically attracted to her. There's a reason for that. The answer is in your question, but it's actually YOU that's complicating it by trying to force the situation to be what it's not meant to be.
Far as the 'arranged marriage' argument, you have already known this woman for years and nothing has come of it.
And we often hear people make reference to arranged marriages and someone they know had a successful one, how many more do we not hear anything about because no real feelings come of it? Or worse, they marry someone mean or abusive? And never got to choose for themselves?
Also you have to consider the cultural differences. Some people grow up with the idea their marriage will be set for them, and it's a normal part of their culture they have adapted to. And many cultures that have such things also have very strict rules against divorce.
To me this seems a really obvious answer. You've known her for years and still have no romantic interest in her. Nor her for you. Why make it any more complicated than that? Why force the idea of dating someone where there is no interest? What happens if you date, get married and never develop those feelings? How good of a life will you have then? Don't screw up a good friendship because you feel obligated to date someone you don't want to.
Far as the 'arranged marriage' argument, you have already known this woman for years and nothing has come of it.
And we often hear people make reference to arranged marriages and someone they know had a successful one, how many more do we not hear anything about because no real feelings come of it? Or worse, they marry someone mean or abusive? And never got to choose for themselves?
Also you have to consider the cultural differences. Some people grow up with the idea their marriage will be set for them, and it's a normal part of their culture they have adapted to. And many cultures that have such things also have very strict rules against divorce.
To me this seems a really obvious answer. You've known her for years and still have no romantic interest in her. Nor her for you. Why make it any more complicated than that? Why force the idea of dating someone where there is no interest? What happens if you date, get married and never develop those feelings? How good of a life will you have then? Don't screw up a good friendship because you feel obligated to date someone you don't want to.