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Naz01

Guest
#1
#1
Hi all.. My name is Naz, I am from Johannesburg .I am new to this site and also a new christian.. I was looking for some hope and inspiration and I came across this chatroom.. Being a new christian, I feel so lost and alone.. I am married and have 4 beautiful kids. I feel as if I am letting them down.. Things have took a turn for the worse.. Bothmy husband and. I have lost our jobs, we have no house no nothing.. As much as I try to keep the faith nothing seems to go right.. I don't know what to do anymore.. Just needed. Advice and someonne to talk to.
We living with a relative, and he is such a psycho.. How doi bring my kids up in an environment like this?
Pplease help with advice and prayers for me and my family
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#2
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#2
I am delighted to meet you, and I am so glad you have committed your life to Christ. But so sorry that life is not good for you right now.

Do you have a church family? Are you reading the Bible regularly? While the Bible and church may not change your circumstances, it can certainly help you learn to cope with all the losses you have experienced.

"Heavenly Father, I pray for Naz, that you will work her life, her husband's and her children's lives too. Please show her the way she is to go. Bring people into her life that can encourage her. Give her the strengthh to endure this relative and to be a witness of the change that God has brought to her life. Please change her circumstances and find jobs so they can support their family. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen."
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#3
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#3
The answer to your situation is to find new jobs. Keeping the faith is not related to your current predicament, things go wrong regardless of what a person believes, but faith does help us get through tough circumstances. Pray for the strength to endure and the guidance to find new jobs. You may need to move out of your area if there is work available elsewhere? Your relative may be a little nuts, but he must be a compassionate nut for allowing 6 people to move into his house. There's not much advise anyone can give that would be of any direct help, I'd just encourage you to be thankful that you have a place to stay. Your relative is providing an emergency residence, I doubt his priority was ever meant to create a permanent environment that was conducive for you to raise your kids in. I don't know the employment situation in S Africa, so all I can encourage you to do is to keep on looking and hopefully an opportunity will come. I've heard the mining industry has laid-off lots of workers there, so it might be rough for awhile. https://www.gumtree.com/jobs/south+africa






 
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Naz01

Guest
#4
#4
Amen..thank u. Angela...yes I do pray and read the bible everyday. We use to join a church but was disappointed because we needed guidance but never got any..
@dan.. Its a long story but he (family member) never wanted us living here,he does not like children.he's an alcoholic and also does crazy things. It was suppose to be a. Family home and its not his alone,but because he has been living in it for many years he feels it is his.
I also know that the situation I am in does not. Relate to my beliefs.
 
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lihle

Guest
#5
#5
Naz01 said:
Hi all.. My name is Naz, I am from Johannesburg .I am new to this site and also a new christian.. I was looking for some hope and inspiration and I came across this chatroom.. Being a new christian, I feel so lost and alone.. I am married and have 4 beautiful kids. I feel as if I am letting them down.. Things have took a turn for the worse.. Bothmy husband and. I have lost our jobs, we have no house no nothing.. As much as I try to keep the faith nothing seems to go right.. I don't know what to do anymore.. Just needed. Advice and someonne to talk to.
We living with a relative, and he is such a psycho.. How doi bring my kids up in an environment like this?
Pplease help with advice and prayers for me and my family
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Hello Naz and welcome. I know how difficult it is to find a new job in SA, while you and your husband are still looking for jobs you can apply for child grant if your kids are the under 18. It's not much but at least it's something. I don't know what kind of work you did before, but I'll advise you not to be choosy at this point. Retail shops like pick n pay are always hirering casual staff. I'm not sure if in Jo'burg you have old age homes where you can volunteer, places like those usually hire their volunteers on permanent basis. There are also NGOs who are always in need of extra help, although they don't pay much but it's a start. Hope this will help, I'll keep you in prayers
 
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Naz01

Guest
#6
#6
Thank u Lihle.. I have applied for child support,I'm still waiting to hear from them.. Also,I've applied at every possible place u can think of,I'm even considering being a domestic.. Its been really tough...my husband and I get called for interviews,but seem to be unsuccessful.. I'm really starting to lose hope and faith...I don't know muchabout christianity, and every time I try to get ask advice no one can give me..like I'm not sure how to fast and pray...I even tried contacting the pastor at. The. Church I use to attend but its been a. Month now and he still hasn't replied.. I'm not asking for money,all I wanted was help in the right direction or for someone to just give me a job, at this point any job for that matter... I'm trying so hard to keep the faith but starting to feel very dispondent.. Its like, not what u know but who u know in order to get a job.. And its either I'm over qualified or under qualified..so I really don't know anymore :(
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#7
#7
Naz01 said:
Thank u Lihle.. I have applied for child support,I'm still waiting to hear from them.. Also,I've applied at every possible place u can think of,I'm even considering being a domestic.. Its been really tough...my husband and I get called for interviews,but seem to be unsuccessful.. I'm really starting to lose hope and faith...I don't know muchabout christianity, and every time I try to get ask advice no one can give me..like I'm not sure how to fast and pray...I even tried contacting the pastor at. The. Church I use to attend but its been a. Month now and he still hasn't replied.. I'm not asking for money,all I wanted was help in the right direction or for someone to just give me a job, at this point any job for that matter... I'm trying so hard to keep the faith but starting to feel very dispondent.. Its like, not what u know but who u know in order to get a job.. And its either I'm over qualified or under qualified..so I really don't know anymore :(
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Forgive me, but I don't know what it's like to live in South Africa. I only know what it's like to live in America. So the following suggestion is based on living here and I don't know if it works for there. I also live in a city, so the walking from house to house part only takes about 30 steps. (Our houses are attached to one another and are only 16 feet wide, so just my side of my block has 25 houses on it. Just so you get the difference in space.) But, what people do here when they can't work is to figure out what they can do and then sell themselves to do that. With that approach, we have people coming to our door about once every other month to ask if we need our windows washed, want the railing to our steps painted, want our sidewalk patched, want our number on the curb repainted, want our trim painted (our house is brick and stone, so that never needs painting), want our brick or stone pointed (it never needs painting but the mortar does come out between the bricks and stone lol), and want our sidewalk shoveled (after it snows.)

What skills do you and hubby have? Can one of you sell well? Then have that person knock on the doors to sell the service you two can provide. Can one of you paint, clean, sweep, weed, fix, or do simple jobs that people don't like to do themselves? Honestly? I wish someone would come just to clean my bathroom, because I can't do it easily, and I HATE doing it, so I'd pay to have someone do just that. Or weed! Why doesn't anyone offer to weed my garden?

But, I hope you get the idea. People don't always want full-time workers, but they usually have a job or two they don't want to do but would be happy to pay someone to do.

One couple that came to our house 2-3 times a year were living in their van and had a ladder. They washed windows. (Yay! I really can't wash my own windows, so I miss them. lol) Instead of using the extra money they got just doing that, they invested that money into paintbrushes and paint. Next thing I knew they were painting the trim on windows too. They opened a business and made it legal. They made enough to afford an apartment. They had kids. The last time they stopped by here they stopped because I was one of the first people to ever say Yes to them cleaning my windows, so they wanted to pay me back by doing it one last time.

They didn't wash windows anymore. (And that was also the last time someone washed my windows. Boo! lol) They had worked their way up to painting houses in a rich neighborhood up the street and got a reputation for doing a good job. So they hired workers themselves. The last time I saw them they were just washing windows one last time to afford a two week vacation down the shore with their kids. They couldn't afford that only because they just bought their first house.

Too many people think the only way to make money is to get a job. That's not it. The only way to make money is to work. That doesn't mean you can't work for yourself by helping other people do stuff they don't have time to do or like to do. I never did learn their background to know if they were qualified to wash windows. It doesn't matter when you have windows that need washing and someone offering to do it at a price I can afford and feel is fair. (Well, actually, I didn't think the price was fair, so I gave them more. lol)

I'm in America. Is that not true for South Africa too?
 
Jesus4ever

Jesus4ever

Senior Member
#8
May 18, 2015
783
19
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#8
Praying for you and your family, sister!


God bless you all!
 
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Naz01

Guest
#9
#9
Thank u jesus 4ever,,, @lynn, I get what u saying... And trust me when I say. "I've tried everything"... I'm good at cooking indian foods, things got so bad that I even sold my tv so I could sell food... But that didn't even work.. And as for hubby, he washed cars just so he could put food on the table, but I just feel like something is not right... When I say that I mean, I am not someone that would ask for help, its not that I have pride but its just that I would try everything I can before I would think of asking for help... But its like everytime we try to do something or try to get back on our feet something happens and then we back to square 1 again... Nothing seems to work out for us I don't know y.. And yes it is like that in south africa as well but to wash ppls windows or do gardening, isn't that simple.. Bcoz of the crime rate ppl would rather get a legit company to do it for them then get someone knocking on their doors... Its not easy.I wish it was that simple..
 
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lihle

Guest
#10
#10
I hope something will turn up, and there's nothing wrong with being a domesticworker, i have done it and a lot of people do it, there are people who had send their kids through varcity with domestic worker income. So if that's what you can get ryt now do it, its honest living. I do pray for you and your family
 
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Naz01

Guest
#11
#11
I've never felt so humiliated in my life as I did 2day... My family and I was invited to a church... The bishop of the church gave us money so we could attend church today..the service was so awesome I came out feeling so blessed... Then we where invited for a braai (bbq) at my in laws as tomorrow is my bro in laws bday..when we get there everybody was in their own moods... At first I didn't think much of it, I was. Asked to spice up the meat... At first I didn't think much of it but then I noticed that when my husband and I are in the kitchen my mother in law walks out and sits outside by my father in law, then when we go outside she goes back in... And then I noticed they acting very weird..

Only to find out by my 14 year old daughter that my mother in law was telling my kids, to sit still its not their house, nobody cleans but her etc,,,, and that we came to eat and leave... I was instantly broken and shattered to pieces.. Firstly, we did not want to go there in the forst place,because of our situation I didn't feel comfortable that somebody is giving us a lunch, secondly y invite someone to your house if u going to treat them like dogs..m

We sat for a while and I was feeling all sorts of emotions... Like I said in my previous blog,I would not ask anyone for help, if I don't have I don't have... It hurt because of the situation we are in now, does that give ppl,( your own family) the right to treat u as if u a begger or from the streets..yes,we are going through a struggle now,we have nothing,tell me whatever u feel like,u can hurt my feelings its also fine, but my kids are innocent and don't deserve this.. To be so low and for ppl to tramp on u when u already down hurts... My husband and I will go to bed hungry, as long as my kids have even a slice of bread before they go to bed I'm happy... But to treat us the way did is something I will never forget... My husband got up, and said we leaving, then my mum in law came asking y,so he said,yes we are down and out for now, but that does not mean we must get treated like this just for a plate of food that we where invited to...

I pray to the almighty,to help us out this struggle,help us get back on our feet so we don't get to hears words from ppl... I pray for the safety of my kids.. And pray no harm or bad gossip comes their way... A mothers plea... All I pray is for me and my husband to get jobs so we may provide for our kids so that they never get to see a day like this again... In jesus mighty name.AMEN..

:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
 
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lihle

Guest
#12
#12
Sis Naz I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I know exactly how you feel, i can't even count how many times I've gone through similar situations with my in laws. Sad thing is we as women( especially black South African don't have much say to the way we are being treated by in-laws because of the culture. I'm glad that your husband is supporting you and standing by you. What I usually do in cases like these I spend as little time as I possible can with the in-laws who will bring you down and not have any positive impact on me. It's not good for you or dor your kids to be subjected to that kind of treatment. I believe that God will provide for your family's needs. Stay strong sisi
 
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Naz01

Guest
#13
#13
Thank u lihle... I had a very good relationship with my mother in law, but I kniw I see how when u have nothing how ppl treat u... I know how the black culture is here in south africa,its da same like the indian culture... My husband is colored and I'm indian. I never expected this treatment and to think the husband and I actually didn't want to go there in the first place... But its life though... I can't believe how cruel people are out there... But I'm starting to have faith and hope..
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#14
#14
Naz01 said:
Thank u lihle... I had a very good relationship with my mother in law, but I kniw I see how when u have nothing how ppl treat u... I know how the black culture is here in south africa,its da same like the indian culture... My husband is colored and I'm indian. I never expected this treatment and to think the husband and I actually didn't want to go there in the first place... But its life though... I can't believe how cruel people are out there... But I'm starting to have faith and hope..
Click to expand...
It's not race. There are people that cruel in all races.
 
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Terrygold

Guest
#15
#15
Hi im from cape town. So sorry that you have to go through this. But i can assure you through every black cloud there is a silver lining. Ive been there, where everything seems to work agains you...please read the book of Job. He lost everything!!! But his faith in God saved him. No matter what he never gave up and never stop believing that God will help. Everything he lost he gained double and more. Everything i lost i gained double and more...so please please hold on to your faith. Do not give up hope. Read your bible...spent time with God...you will feel closer to God and stronger. Ive lost my baby, then my job, then i found out i had cancer, lost my hair, the list goes on. But i have a beutifull daugther today, amazing husband, health, a job. When i look back im speechless. Because God loves us...And in everything that happens to u there is a lesson. You and your husband will have jobs soon. Keep the faith
 
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Naz01

Guest
#16
#16
Thank u Terry... I'm really trying to keep the faith..my bishop did say to me that becoming christian is not going to be an easy journey, I'm going to face a lot of obstacles, but it will pass.. So I'm trying to keep the faith and hope.I'm just so use to not hoping or expecting,that I don't know how to anymore...
 
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Eva1218

Guest
#17
#17
Sorry to hear about your current situation. If I may make a suggestion have you tried seeking GOD regarding what HE wants from you. Many times we are at a stand still in order for us to go to our Heavenly FATHER. There is when will get answers, direction and insight. You and your husband may even try going on a Fast this really helps in hearing from GOD. Pray and ask GOD for a home church where you can be taught the Truth and grow in order to be used for HIS Glory. Also Repent this also helps in receiving from GOD and starting a fresh. Continue to study GOD's Word and apply it to your life.

Blessings!!!!!!!
 
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Naz01

Guest
#18
#18
Hi Eva, I'm not going to lie, I'm still new to christianity, and I would love to feel the presence of God. I don't know how to. Yes, I do pray.. But how do I call on the holy spirit? How do I know what to ask God what it is that he wants from me? I'm lost..I need direction..I want to learn the bible but in order for me to do that I need to go to bible classes,and right now I can't afford it
 
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souljahgirl

Guest
#19
#19
Hello young lady...First im happy that youve given yourself to Jesus..all things will work together for your good because of it.Things are not the way you want them right now but know that all things work together for your good. There will be strange things happening in your life while you continue to walk with Christ..there will be joy and there will be pain but please know that all things work together for your good. You will be confused at times and it may seem dark too. It's like you've let God in and now he is working on your behalf stronger than before..he will uproot things and separate things.he will add and take away.he will remove people and bring in other people.it can feel like you're begging stripped of everything youre use to because you are..you are a new creature.old things pass away and all things become new..when God is working..it can be uncomfortable beloved but i tell you this a living born again witness..ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD..continue in him and he will continue in you..no matter what u go through...stay connected to the source
 
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NewWine

Guest
#20
#20
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.....This is only a season and the next season WILL come soon.

Isaiah 40:31 They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.......waiting means to serve as well as to be patient, so serve God and rest in His arms.

Genesis 50:20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive......no matter what sort of crazy your family inflict, God can use all things for Good.

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God........God loves you so much that He wants to continue to bless you.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.......need I say more here?

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths......God knows what's best for you, so go to HIM to learn your next steps.

The Bible is full of encouraging promises that will cover you in any situation....my best advice is to keep working on your relationship with God: Keep searching for work....any work: Keep loving your family, all of your family, and Keep on.....You will make it through this season.
Peace!!
 
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