Need some encouragement.

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JoshRyan99

Guest
#1
#1
I am at a pretty low right now. My whole life I've been a pretty big loner but I've always had a real tight knit group of friends. I've always strongly desired relationships with people. Call it a lack of attention or lack of love or whatever but I've always felt like I need people or someone in my life. Now it sucks more than ever. Gods taken away the close friends I've had and he's left me almost completely alone. I have a really tight family which helps but I yearn for intamacy. I'm 21 years old and I'm blessed to have matured into a very confident good looking guy but I always feel God tell me to not engage in relationship with these girls I meet. It's hard because everything in me wants that relationship but there's that small part of me that says to back out and wait. Anybody have experience similar to this? Any words of encouragement??
 
Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#2
Apr 15, 2014
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#2
I do understand the frustration, the loneliness. But I will encourage you with this: If God is telling you to wait, wait on him. He's got a plan that we just cannot understand. Don't forget Romans 8:18-28. Go read it again. :)
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#3
#3
I think a good rule of thumb with a relationship is to ask yourself if you're looking for someone to complete you or if you're looking for someone to share your life with. If you're looking for wholeness then look to God and wait.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#4
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
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#4
ServantStrike said:
I think a good rule of thumb with a relationship is to ask yourself if you're looking for someone to complete you or if you're looking for someone to share your life with. If you're looking for wholeness then look to God and wait.
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I think a good rule of thumb with a relationship is to spend less time talking to yourself.

: )
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#5
Mar 20, 2015
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#5
I'll combine the two: make sure you are working at making yourself complete for her, in essence waiting on God's timing not whether or not you get one. The other side of agreement, kind of, is to ask like crazy! Be real with God tell Him what's up with you in your real where the rubber meets the road prayer life. But I never said, have any lack of faith in Him, or never debate His will, simply spill yours, waiting on the ultimate answer for you. Officially that isn't, then, talking to yourself....smile. Not to be clever with you Maxwell for I get the humor of it! As does Josh I'm sure.
 
Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#6
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
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#6
slave said:
I'll combine the two: make sure you are working at making yourself complete for her, in essence waiting on God's timing not whether or not you get one. The other side of agreement, kind of, is to ask like crazy! Be real with God tell Him what's up with you in your real where the rubber meets the road prayer life. But I never said, have any lack of faith in Him, or never debate His will, simply spill yours, waiting on the ultimate answer for you. Officially that isn't, then, talking to yourself....smile. Not to be clever with you Maxwell for I get the humor of it! As does Josh I'm sure.
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On this point, I'll respectfully disagree: Submit yourself to God and let him complete you. "She" (whomever she is) wants a man who is complete in Christ on his own not because he's trying to be enough. ;) I have a feeling we meant the same thing though, Mr Slave. :)
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#7
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
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#7
Olerica said:
On this point, I'll respectfully disagree: Submit yourself to God and let him complete you. "She" (whomever she is) wants a man who is complete in Christ on his own not because he's trying to be enough. ;) I have a feeling we meant the same thing though, Mr Slave. :)
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My wording slipped by my hearts intent there. I agree... the details of my wording is wrong. You are right also about me "O" that my heart meant otherwise. See, lesson learned in real time. Be slow to speak and let God pace you. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I apologize humbly for my assumption . I tried to imply it in waiting on God, but you know I'm not perfect.

Listen to "O" she has got this one right! I am glad you didn't let God's glory get mis-managed there, I would have re- read that some day and pulled my hair out, I know there is a Scripture I should read about that too.........Ill just sit over there for now....................................>. thanks.... smile......... Love ya "O" thanks. :eek:
 
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Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#8
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
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#8
slave said:
My wording slipped by my hearts intent there. I agree... the details of my wording is wrong. You are right also about me "O" that my heart meant otherwise. See, lesson learned in real time. Be slow to speak and let God pace you. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I apologize humbly for my assumption . I tried to imply it in waiting on God, but you know I'm not perfect.

Listen to "O" she has got this one right! I am glad you didn't let God's glory get mis-managed there, I would have re- read that some day and pulled my hair out, I know there is a Scripture I should read about that too.........Ill just sit over there for now....................................>. thanks.... smile......... Love ya "O" thanks. :eek:
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You and I both knew what you meant. Your humility here is inspiring and you regularly encourage me though your actions to be more thoughtful in my own writing. Love ya back, Brother Slave.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
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Tennessee
#9
It sounds to me that you're afraid, perhaps out of fear of rejection, to even try. If you truly desire an enduring, intimate, romantic relationship with a woman than you're going to have to step up to the plate and take a few swings. Don't blame God for the loneliness when your not willing to play your part.
 
Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#10
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
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#10
tourist said:
It sounds to me that you're afraid, perhaps out of fear of rejection, to even try. If you truly desire an enduring, intimate, romantic relationship with a woman than you're going to have to step up to the plate and take a few swings. Don't blame God for the loneliness when your not willing to play your part.
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Tourist, don't you find that there are times when God does put us into.... for the lack of a better word.... a desert place? It's not that he's not here with us, but that we need to learn from that place of solitude where God has us.
 
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JoshRyan99

Guest
#11
#11
tourist said:
It sounds to me that you're afraid, perhaps out of fear of rejection, to even try. If you truly desire an enduring, intimate, romantic relationship with a woman than you're going to have to step up to the plate and take a few swings. Don't blame God for the loneliness when your not willing to play your part.
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I think you're missing the point here. I am by no means afraid of rejection. I have no problem starting a relationship with someone, and I don't think I'm blaming God for anything. I am saying that he has told me to wait and just want some encouragement from fellow believer to know that I am doing the right thing. Loneliness is hard for me yes, but I'm realizing that life for us believer can never truly be lonely at all. I Kinda don't understand where this response came from lol
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#12
#12
tourist said:
It sounds to me that you're afraid, perhaps out of fear of rejection, to even try. If you truly desire an enduring, intimate, romantic relationship with a woman than you're going to have to step up to the plate and take a few swings. Don't blame God for the loneliness when your not willing to play your part.
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I wouldn't just encourage him to go for it. We don't know what these girls he's talking about are like.

Are they Christians? If so, lukewarm or solid in their faith. I mean, we don't really know what the women in the OP's area are like. There are quite a few in my area I'd tell the OP not to waste his time with, especially at age 21.

Olerica said:
Tourist, don't you find that there are times when God does put us into.... for the lack of a better word.... a desert place? It's not that he's not here with us, but that we need to learn from that place of solitude where God has us.
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I think we all go through different phases in our walk, and some may never go through the phases that others get stuck with. Some people have a high school sweetheart and marry them and live well into their 80's and spend very little time single, while others stay single their entire lives.

I don't know that true loneliness is something that everyone is called to though. Even if there isn't an intimate relationship, friendships should certainly be possible.

Actually, for the OP, I'd say it's important to focus on friendships first. If he's lost most of his friends, he should make some new ones.


As for deserts:
[video=youtube;-GFM9FTATU4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GFM9FTATU4[/video]
 
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JoshRyan99

Guest
#13
#13
ServantStrike said:
I wouldn't just encourage him to go for it. We don't know what these girls he's talking about are like.

Are they Christians? If so, lukewarm or solid in their faith. I mean, we don't really know what the women in the OP's area are like. There are quite a few in my area I'd tell the OP not to waste his time with, especially at age 21.



I think we all go through different phases in our walk, and some may never go through the phases that others get stuck with. Some people have a high school sweetheart and marry them and live well into their 80's and spend very little time single, while others stay single their entire lives.

I don't know that true loneliness is something that everyone is called to though. Even if there isn't an intimate relationship, friendships should certainly be possible.

Actually, for the OP, I'd say it's important to focus on friendships first. If he's lost most of his friends, he should make some new ones.


As for deserts:
[video=youtube;-GFM9FTATU4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GFM9FTATU4[/video]
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Thanks man! Great advice! I think investing in true friendships is something I didn't even really consider.
 
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