Share random advice about dating

[ServantStrike]

Now, this does not necessarily mean, God's plan for our individual lives will always happen, because we have free will. And this is where we come. We have a choice to choose what God has prepared for us, or we can live lives our way. We are free people. And here, is where I say dating is a choice.

This was the very reason I advised against dating. Again, dating it's a choice. And if it is, and if the other option is God's perfect will, I find it odd to even choose to date.

If you don't date, or you don't ever make attempts to get out and expand your social circles, then you're asking God to do all of the work introducing your future spouse to you. Plan or not, that seems a bit extreme.

Unless God's plan was to have you remain inactive, you're going to have to date, or meet people, or "insert word for dating here." Dating doesn't mean romantic involvement either. It can mean go out with another human being to get an indication of who they really are on the inside.

I would argue that a Christian could have a life filled with a large number of first dates, maybe a couple second dates, and then only one person that they date for a long period of time (and ultimately marry).

That is a realistic expectation and not at all unbiblical. It was my expectation and I ended up being pleasantly surprised. I've only had one girlfriend and one failed date in my life, and now I have a fiance. So, sometimes God makes it a bit easier on us. But to get to that fiance, I spent 5-10 hours a week on online dating sites talking to some very disturbing people, and being ignored by a depressing number of other people.

 

[shotgunner]

Well I'm starting to get an idea where the underlying issue is coming from. It seems to me that it all comes down to this:

God may or may not have a plan for every person on earth.

I am, and it seems to me that you are too, Mr. Maxwel, are believers that God has a plan for every person. I personally take Jer. 29:11 as one of God's promises. I strongly believe that God has a plan for everyone (Romans 8:28), in every area of our life. And that if we ask Him, He would be willing to show it to us and make it happen. And it would be the perfect path.

I can write so many biblical truths that tell us that God does have a plan for our lives, every one of us. I've always thought this was a fundamental truth.

I would share Charles Stanley's book on this that's really helpful for those who think God left them out in this world to figure life on their own: God has a plan for your life: The discovery that makes all the difference

Anyway, going back to my point.

Now, this does not necessarily mean, God's plan for our individual lives will always happen, because we have free will. And this is where we come. We have a choice to choose what God has prepared for us, or we can live lives our way. We are free people. And here, is where I say dating is a choice.

This was the very reason I advised against dating. Again, dating it's a choice. And if it is, and if the other option is God's perfect will, I find it odd to even choose to date.

God has a perfect will for our lives but he also has a permissive will for our lives. God will allow us to make our own decisions but he will also guide us into the decisions that will lead to his perfect will. Neither is necessarily out of his will.

For instance, I know certain things that will make my children very happy if they choose them. I am not mad at them nor will I disown them if they make different decisions.

 

[JesusLives]

Okay, fine.

*Lynx goes off to wipe the toothpaste off his mouth.

No I'm not a dog. But someone is bound to apply it to felines too.

I remember why I peek into these threads once in a while... you guys make me laugh.... been foaming at the mouth Lynx? Melita is available.... I think... she doesn't cook so much but she's really good at music and so are you... the two of you might make beautiful music together.....lol Keep the flame thrower in the closet....lol

 

[melita916]

Wait. Wat?

Lol

 

[LiJo]

I love this thread....great entertainment! lolz

 

[JesusLives]

Please forgive I can't help with the attempted matchmaking.... it's been a while and I owed Lynx one....lol

 

[Mitspa]

Oh I got one...never, ever make a negative comment about a womans appearance ..always compliment her, even if they act like they are not really moved by your compliments ..they are.... But don't be a weirdo about it

 

[Stand_Strong]

Sometimes you have to be honest though. Women will see through it if you compliment them all the time just to get a desired response and this is unattractive. You can be a man and be honest without being rude or cruel.

 

[JesusLives]

Is there a Mr./Mrs. Right?

Maybe this argument about "Mr. Right" is more about semantics than doctrine.
Maybe if we'd redefine some things, there wouldn't be any argument.

I think that when we say "Mr. Right" we're probably talking about 2 different things.

I think we're arguing about the issue of "compatibility" versus "God directing us".
This isn't a matter of Either/Or.
I think that we see both of these occurring.


Compatibility:
1. We probably CAN be compatible with many, many people.
There are probably LOTS of people who would seem like a really GOOD FIT for us.
There are probably lots of people we could really love, and appreciate, and enjoy spending our lives with.
Direction:
2. However, God certainly DOES lead and direct us... and although we may be compatible with MANY people, God does not direct us to ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE. God moves in our life to direct us to a PARTICULAR person. He directs us to a PARTICULAR person that HE believes is best for us.

Blessed are the peacemakers.....

 

[Utah]

Oh I got one...never, ever make a negative comment about a womans appearance ..always compliment her, even if they act like they are not really moved by your compliments ..they are.... But don't be a weirdo about it

And how, Brother. I was dating a woman, and she asked me if I thought she was overweight. I told her she was like me and most everyone else and could lose five pounds. She told me I was a horrible person and proceeded to lose more than twenty pounds over the next few weeks and started getting sick.

 

[chickwithsticks]

If you're chatting up a pretty girl who says she used to be a dancer,
you better bite the bullet and say, "What kinda dancer?"

Odds are... she's not a ballerina.

i realize I'm late to this thread but Maxwell you have a way with words. This is now the second time I have laughed out loud so hard I snorted while reading someone's post. The first time I was drinking and ice tea came out my nose so thankfully I wasn't drinking this time.

disclaimer...lots of posts make me laugh but some have that little ompphhh factor

 

[Olerica]

And how, Brother. I was dating a woman, and she asked me if I thought she was overweight. I told her she was like me and most everyone else and could lose five pounds. She told me I was a horrible person and proceeded to lose more than twenty pounds over the next few weeks and started getting sick.

Oh, that's sad!

As a woman, I know there are questions I do not ask a man. I wait for a compliment, and don't ask. If I want a compliment? I chat with my female friends.

 

[Utah]

Oh, that's sad!

As a woman, I know there are questions I do not ask a man. I wait for a compliment, and don't ask. If I want a compliment? I chat with my female friends.

I'm filled with ready-to-share compliments. Try me.

 

[Olerica]

I'm filled with ready-to-share compliments. Try me.

Heh. I wait for your volition, Dear Sir.

(I'm smarter than I look.)

 

[blondieindahouse]

And how, Brother. I was dating a woman, and she asked me if I thought she was overweight. I told her she was like me and most everyone else and could lose five pounds. She told me I was a horrible person and proceeded to lose more than twenty pounds over the next few weeks and started getting sick.

Women ask that to get attention. They know they are fat! A woman sure of herself and one who cares for her body doesnt need you to tell her she is looking good. She is self assured. Recent estimates suggest that the overall rates are twice that of 1970s. The USA is sitting at 42% obesity. That is downright embarrassing. The whole world views americans as fat, spoiled, and lazy. Truth!

In fact,among the christian community in the USA anyways, you see fat blubbery obese people everywhere! But yet.,its just one of those sins people dont dare talk about or else you are deemed a hater. We come down on everything else under the sun but not gluttony of food. Ok, thats my rant! carry on!!

 

[Stand_Strong]

No holes barred Blondie!

 

[LiJo]

Sometimes you have to be honest though. Women will see through it if you compliment them all the time just to get a desired response and this is unattractive. You can be a man and be honest without being rude or cruel.

This is true!!! My friend and I were talking about this several weeks ago. When men over compliment it appears to be insincere to us.

 

[Mitspa]

i realize I'm late to this thread but Maxwell you have a way with words. This is now the second time I have laughed out loud so hard I snorted while reading someone's post. The first time I was drinking and ice tea came out my nose so thankfully I wasn't drinking this time.

disclaimer...lots of posts make me laugh but some have that little ompphhh factor

Yea Max is a funny guy But not too sure about the kind of girls he is trying to meet

 

[Utah]

Heh. I wait for your volition, Dear Sir.

(I'm smarter than I look.)

Thankfully you're smart because I don't know what volition means.

 

[Mitspa]

This is true!!! My friend and I were talking about this several weeks ago. When men over compliment it appears to be insincere to us.

So what do you suggest ...if we are not sure about how many compliments we should give?

How about cloths and shoes and such...some girls just dress cool...is that ok to compliment?