How Long Has Everyone Here Been Single? (Updated 2015 Edition.)

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How Long Have You Been Single?

  • I have been single my whole life--I have never had a significant other.

    Votes: 9 18.4%
  • 6 months or less.

    Votes: 5 10.2%
  • 6+ months to 1 year.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • 1+ year to 2 years.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • 2+ years to 4 years.

    Votes: 10 20.4%
  • 4+ years to 6 years.

    Votes: 7 14.3%
  • 6+ years to 10 years.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • 10+ years to 15 years.

    Votes: 6 12.2%
  • 15+ to 20 years.

    Votes: 1 2.0%
  • I have been single for over 20 years.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • Other--I have something else to share in my post.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • My definition of being single is: (please share in your post)

    Votes: 1 2.0%

  • Total voters
    49

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,442
5,391
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

The original 2012 thread seems to have generated some interest, but the system or moderators have closed the poll (probably due to it being an old thread), so I thought maybe our current CC crowd might be interested in answering this poll and discussing this topic. (Some of the thoughts in this post are copied from the original thread.)

I find it interesting that the term "single" can cover a wide variety of the statuses of people in very different walks of life. For instance, someone who's been single for 6 months is in a different place than someone who's been single for 6 years. In the poll (which is anonymous), I included the category, "I've been single my whole life and have never had a significant other," because that's a little different from someone who's been single 20 years but was once married or in a long-term relationship.

I am also interested in everyone's personal definition of "single": I have known some people who identify as themselves as Christians and consider themselves to be single when they are not married but are in a committed relationship.

Should a strict line be drawn between "single" and "available"? Do you consider someone who is not available but not married to still be single? What is your own definition of "single" and how long have you been in that state?


For me, "single" means not dating someone exclusively, not being married (as in, not just being separated but officially and legally divorced--I once saw a person describe herself as a "single married Christian", which had me scratching my head; but these are just my own beliefs), not being intimately involved with anyone, and not being in a relationship. I average 2-3 dates a year (staggering, I know!) but so far, it's never turned into anything beyond a possible friendship, so yes, I very much consider myself to be single.

It's funny how time flies by. When I originally wrote this poll, I talked about being single for 10 years, and as I write this current revision, I am approaching my 13th year of singleness. Not the most encouraging thing for other singles to hear, I'm sure :) but I can tell you that God has worked with me a lot during every year that's passed, and even though it might not be easy, I can say with a smile that it HAS been blessed.

And I hope you will be too.

(The answers are anonymous so your answer will be kept private, and if for some reason more than one answer applies, feel free to check whatever answers fit you.)
 

BruceWayne

Senior Member
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
357
83
Gotham City
#2
lol 2015 edition.. umm I agree with you, if you are in any kind of ''exclusive'' relationship, you're not single.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#3
hehe i'm gonna repeat what i said in the other thread.

i've never been married. one relationship that lasted almost 5 yrs.

i've been single for 5 yrs now.

single to me is someone who is 1) not married and 2) not exclusively dating someone.

i remember one time (years ago before boss got married), one of our younger lady patients at the office asked me if my boss was single. my answer: he's single as in not married. but i don't know if he's single as in not in a relationship.

hehe :)
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#4
Are we ever really 'single?' Isn't God always with us? :)
 
A

AgnusDei

Guest
#5
I never had a significant other.
Never had a girlfriend.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#6
My first relationship lasted a little over 6 months and finished at the end of last year. I've been single for close to 9 months now. But I'm not concerned about that at the moment, I have plenty of other stuff in my life to deal with.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#7
Is it just me, or am I seeing more and more threads lately about why are we single and online dating/dating in general? It's normal to see these kinds of threads, but to me there's been an abundance as of late.
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#8
The term "single" and it's meaning changes depending on the situation.

I have a boyfriend, but am not married to him. Therefore:

When I file my taxes with the IRS, I am single.

When a guy shows interest at the gym, I'm NOT single.

For a language that has too many words and too many meanings for words... we really actually do need a separate word to use for someone who is legally single but not available. :p
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#9
The term "single" and it's meaning changes depending on the situation.

I have a boyfriend, but am not married to him. Therefore:

When I file my taxes with the IRS, I am single.

When a guy shows interest at the gym, I'm NOT single.

For a language that has too many words and too many meanings for words... we really actually do need a separate word to use for someone who is legally single but not available. :p
Right. Society is weird. And 'in a relationship' is just too cutesy.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#10
seoulsearch said:
What is your own definition of "single..."
Single [sing-uhl]
adjective
1. only one in number; one only; unique; sole:
a single example.
2. of, relating to, or suitable for one person only:
a single room.
3. solitary or sole; lone:
He was the single survivor.
4. unmarried or not in a romantic relationship:
a single man.


and how long have you been in that state?
About 3 months. Just passed 90 days now that I look back on it, actually.
 
May 25, 2015
6,149
850
113
#11
Basically what everyone says: If you're dating exclusively, you're not single nor available.

I have been single for probably 2-3 months.
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#12
Since X Box replaced the Whoopie Cushion for a good 'Hoorah'
 
G

Galahad

Guest
#13
Since X Box replaced the Whoopie Cushion for a good 'Hoorah'

Oh wow! How did you ever come up with that? That's so funny. It's great. It's funny great. It's great funny. Even too good to be funny. Too funny to be good. It's like tricky. How do you do that? Too much. LOL. ROFL. Taken to emergency for collapsed lung laughter. Shouting back at the angry awakened neighbors laughter.
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#14

Oh wow! How did you ever come up with that? That's so funny. It's great. It's funny great. It's great funny. Even too good to be funny. Too funny to be good. It's like tricky. How do you do that? Too much. LOL. ROFL. Taken to emergency for collapsed lung laughter. Shouting back at the angry awakened neighbors laughter.
You are too sweet lol thank you :)

I was going to confess I have been single since Ben Franklin flew that kite...
But then I'd reveal my true age haha :p
 
G

Galahad

Guest
#15
You are too sweet lol thank you :)

I was going to confess I have been single since Ben Franklin flew that kite...
But then I'd reveal my true age haha :p
Funny. Very good. Journal or keep a record of your funny lines of comedy. They are good. You can share them with others.
And thank you!
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#16
Lol Galahad....you are too kind
Haha stop spoiling me
I am not THAT funny
Lol
You are a dear heart
I thank you too :p
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,442
5,391
113
#17
Is it just me, or am I seeing more and more threads lately about why are we single and online dating/dating in general? It's normal to see these kinds of threads, but to me there's been an abundance as of late.
This would be the natural cycle at CC. :) And, it seems to be what most people want to talk about.

Often when threads are started on other topics, they fade away in an hour (leaving the writer wondering why they even bothered to try) because the subject always comes back to why people are single and how to find someone. :p
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,442
5,391
113
#18
Are we ever really 'single?' Isn't God always with us? :)
I always hear people say, "We are never alone. God will never leave us."

And yet... there are so many people who state this... and are apparently terribly unhappy with just being "alone with God"...

So I'm always left wondering, What does being single... and having just God, and being happy with that, look like? (Although I have to admit that for my own self, after so much time, I think I'm almost there, seeing as being single doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to years ago.)
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#19
all I've ever had was an online relationship. I never met him, so not sure it counts :p
 
F

Faithful_Fay

Guest
#20
So I'm always left wondering, What does being single... and having just God, and being happy with that, look like? (Although I have to admit that for my own self, after so much time, I think I'm almost there, seeing as being single doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to years ago.)
I've been single since I became a Christian, which was around 13, I think? Before then, I was your typical hot mess of hormones, self centered and boy crazy teen. But, as I learned more about God, my focus became being more pleasing to Him, and taking my eyes off of people. Letting God write His definition of life, confidence, and conscience. Being aware and sensitive to where God's plan is more desirable than what others may think of as the norm.

Being single and happy to me looks like being content. I don't celebrate or idolize being either single or married. I'm content knowing that either way, I'm trying to live out my purpose in this life with God. It's a lack of desperation, of believing that all my problem will be solven when...

I'm just plain peaceful and content.