How Have You Changed Throughout the Years?

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M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#21
#21
I guess I buck the trend, it is more usual to grow in confidence with age but the opposite is the reality with me. I used to be super-confident, didn't much care about anything or anyone and now I'm this timid creature, too afraid to speak in church or even pray in a church situation. The only thing I don't have a problem with is singing - because it's scripted. I hate being me, I don't know why God would make me this way, I only know I don't like it.

Typing/writing is easy, speaking is hard. Now everyone knows my insecurities lol.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#22
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
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#22
blue_ladybug said:
Hmmm.. how have I changed throughout the years? Now you're making me think, Utah. LOL. :) Not alot in ways of looks.. I look how I did in high school, except now I'm 30-something decades older..lol.. I used to hate life, living it, being here on this miserable earth. I've never gotten along well with my mom and oldest sister, and for years I hated them both. I'm not gonna get into the whole story, but suffice it to say they aren't the nicest people on earth. :( Within the last decade or so, though, I've come to see them in a different light. My oldest sister has alot of physical health problems and she's basically living a pretty solitary life, and she is incredibly cynical and jaded. To me, she is a PERFECT example of who I never want to be: cynical, jaded to the point of resenting other people, negative to the point of being an energy vampire. To a fairly positive person such as myself, my sister definitely drains me of my positive energy, which is why I call her an energy vampire. Not to her face, but that's what she is..lol..

My mom grew up in an unhappy environment and somewhat abusive parents. In later years, she dumped that abuse on us kids, she used to hit my two sisters all the time. I can't really know if this is true, because I hadn't been born yet, but my sisters swear it's true.. She never hit me ever in my life, but she does have a definite cruel streak in her. I grew up pretty much as an only child, because my sisters and brother are 9, 11, and 13 years older than me, so by the time I was old enough to realize I had siblings, lol, they were already of age and had moved out. My mother dumped all her unhappiness and disappointments of her own past on ME, which in turn made me very sensitive, depressed and lonely. That has carried with me all my life, but I have found positive ways to turn them into good things. :)

Now I know that they are how they are, because of their own unhappy life experiences. I can't change them, I can't undo the hurt they caused me, BUT I can, and have, forgiven them. :) And if you would like to know how I've changed in other ways, especially regarding my faith, then please check out the threads below in my signature.. :)
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Blue, I can say almost verbatim what you've shared, but switch your sister and mother with my dad, and its an awful lot like my life story -- as it pertains to my dad. He's one month shy of 100 years of age and he's nasty, nasty, nasty. Misery sure does love company, and I ain't havin' none of it.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#24
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#24
MadParrotWoman said:
I guess I buck the trend, it is more usual to grow in confidence with age but the opposite is the reality with me. I used to be super-confident, didn't much care about anything or anyone and now I'm this timid creature, too afraid to speak in church or even pray in a church situation. The only thing I don't have a problem with is singing - because it's scripted. I hate being me, I don't know why God would make me this way, I only know I don't like it.

Typing/writing is easy, speaking is hard. Now everyone knows my insecurities lol.
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And that's okay, dear Sister. In our weakness, me are made strong in Jesus Christ. I applaud you for sharing as you have; it takes a very strong person to do that, not a weak one. You're stronger than you think, and you're always a blessing to everyone here. I truly give thanks to God for getting to know you here on CC. I will be praying for you that your confidence is restored, and yet through it all, remain humble in the Lord, which you most certainly are.

On another note, if singing works for you, then don't talk to folks, sing to them! Keep us posted. :)
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#25
#25
Utah said:
And that's okay, dear Sister. In our weakness, me are made strong in Jesus Christ. I applaud you for sharing as you have; it takes a very strong person to do that, not a weak one. You're stronger than you think, and you're always a blessing to everyone here. I truly give thanks to God for getting to know you here on CC. I will be praying for you that your confidence is restored, and yet through it all, remain humble in the Lord, which you most certainly are.

On another note, if singing works for you, then don't talk to folks, sing to them! Keep us posted. :)
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Ah bless you bro, you are a sweet guy. Most of us seem to have issues yet we are the ones God chooses as His own. I wonder why He chooses and perfects those who need the most work lol.

Ladybug - they still won't allow me to rep you grrr.
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#26
#26
Utah, I meant that I didn't like music as much as I do now. Meaning, I wasn't interested in writing or playing, but I would sing as a child haha! So I guess you could say I was interested in music back then, it just wasn't at the same level.

Sorry for my list being so long! :eek:
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#27
Aug 13, 2014
26,724
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#27
I posted something some time ago about things I have learned over the years. Lemme see if I can find it. It had something in there about how people say I never change, but looking back over what I've learned I sure hope I've changed.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#28
Aug 13, 2014
26,724
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#28
Yay for the forum search function! Here's the post I was thinking about.



I have learned...

I have learned I don't know everything. And the more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. Only those who know nothing think they know everything. Those who know more realize they don't really know much at all.

I have learned to listen more to those who talk less. They only talk when they have something to say.

I have learned to keep my mouth shut more when I am offended. Chances are they didn't mean to say that the way it sounded...... and if they did mean it that way, they are probably too rude to apologize if I confront them about it.

I have learned not to worry so much. Most of the things people worry a lot about won't matter the next day, much less in ten years. I will do my best - things I can not control won't be helped by my high blood pressure.


I have learned a person who is telling me something negative about someone, will be gossiping to someone else about me. Count on it. I've learned to avoid people who take delight in telling about the shortcomings of others, because their talk brings me down.

I have learned "What she said he said about me" is not important. As long as I'm in God's will, God will take care of me. Me stressing about rumors is only a product of my pride.

I have learned that on my own I'm not so hot. Only when I'm doing God's work, and leaning on Him instead of taking pride in my own ability, only then do I have any trace of talent.

I have learned when God says go left, not to go right. I could choose to go my own way, but I have learned (from experience) that is an astoundingly bad idea.

Multiple people have told me recently that one thing they like about me is that I never change. Looking back on all I've learned, I sure HOPE I've changed. There's so much room for me to improve.....
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Utah

Utah

Banned
#29
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#29
MollyConnor said:
Utah, I meant that I didn't like music as much as I do now. Meaning, I wasn't interested in writing or playing, but I would sing as a child haha! So I guess you could say I was interested in music back then, it just wasn't at the same level.

Sorry for my list being so long! :eek:
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Don't ever be sorry about sharing your life experience -- especially when someone asked you.

Besides, I used to playfully say I am my favorite subject; now Jesus is, thank God. :cool:
 
A

Abing

Guest
#30
#30
Utah said:
Don't ever be sorry about sharing your life experience -- especially when someone asked you.

Besides, I used to playfully say I am my favorite subject; now Jesus is, thank God. :cool:
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Amen to this one. I used to be in the same class (class of conceitedness, school of self). That has changed for me too. At least, that's what I know God has changed in my heart now. Couldn't care less what the world says.
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#33
#33
Lynx said:
Yay for the forum search function! Here's the post I was thinking about.
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You have become very wise, God has given you wisdom. :)
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#35
Aug 12, 2011
10,460
2,683
113
#35
i used to have low self esteem.

i used to be bitter.

i used to be sad and lonely all the time.

i used to be a pharisee.

i was a person who had no joy.

praise God for His healing! :D
 
J

James4redemption

Guest
#36
#36
Grown to be less confrontational...I don't know what that was all about, but man, used to get my jollies from arguing, bumping heads, being super competitive and used to be turbo-selfish.
 
Yeraza_Bats

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
#37
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
175
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#37
passing_through said:
I also hated Green Beans (String Beans), now I love both, Green Beans is like candy to me, I so love it. :)
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Haha, Im the exact opposite, I once loved them as a kid, but now I dont even like looking at them :p




And for me, actually over the past /year/ I have become wiser than I ever was. I actually, just slighty, am finding a real understanding of Gods word. And its really exciting, because when I came to God last summer, I asked Him to please help me understand, and give me the wisdom that I need.
I really really believe He is guiding me to that wisdom :3
 
GuessWho

GuessWho

Senior Member
#38
Nov 8, 2014
1,227
34
48
#38
I used to be very very scared by pitbulls. I thought they were dangerous, agressive dogs. I didn't like their appearance, they terrified me. Now, I love them very much thanks to a female, abandoned pitbull which appeared from nowhere in our neighborhood and everybody loves her. She's very kind and loving; she's with me right now although she never slept in my house. Maybe tonight she will. Usually, she comes to my house, I give her food and then she leaves. But now, she came back and is sort of inspecting the house. She knows she is welcomed here. I love her very much!
 
A

Abing

Guest
#39
#39
Yeraza_Bats said:
Haha, Im the exact opposite, I once loved them as a kid, but now I dont even like looking at them :p




And for me, actually over the past /year/ I have become wiser than I ever was. I actually, just slighty, am finding a real understanding of Gods word. And its really exciting, because when I came to God last summer, I asked Him to please help me understand, and give me the wisdom that I need.
I really really believe He is guiding me to that wisdom :3
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Amen! It's true what was said, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom :)
 
R

Rachael_95

Guest
#40
#40
as a little girl I was very giggly and happy, too happy outgoing and silly but had a very shy side about me, still do.
always have been very emotional and always have the feeling Im chasing a dream, maybe I can't identify it because I can't identify with myself, I use to think I knew who I was and summed myself up based on my views and feelings about things, now that my views are so jaded and grey I don't know..
as long as I can remember I've had nightmares and a terrible fear of missing the rapture and God leaving me behind, I still do.
 
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