The Nice Guy
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Really? Then you must not get out much because that is the reality of the dating pool for the 20-30's. I'm sure you wouldn't understand because you aren't in that age bracket nor probably in the dating pool yourself anymore. Perhaps you would like me to link you to countless of data where there is hundreds of thousands of self proclaimed nice-guys bemoaning the lack of good women or that women aren't the same anymore? Maybe the ladies in your bubble are the sweetest things you ever saw, but there is life outside your door and you should go explore it. I'm sure the billion dollar PUA business makes you sound ignorant on the subject matter. As i'm typing this right now, there is thousands of nice-guys right now, in their own homes or dorms, self-loathing and depressed because they cannot find a lady. The PUA business see's this weakness and tries to capitalize on their "lack of game" aka confidence. Even women here have already commented that nice-guys have issues and I myself as a nice-guy for 25 years so i'm talking from 1st hand experience. Go do your own research.
I would pray to God to never send my daughter ever a nice-guy! He would never defend her, never tell her what is right, nor protect her. He will generally do whatever she wants to make her happy, but that is like spoiling a child and he himself desires to be loved above all else. I would want God to send my daughter, should I ever have one, a Godly man, and that is a huge difference from the nice-guy.
There is a difference between being nice and being kind, but I guess you glossed over that. You call someone out and are surprised they call you out back? Perhaps this has never happened to you before, perhaps you expected me to go cower in a corner and just be agreeable like everyone else. And its funny how you sit there and pretend to claim to care about me, my wife and our kids future. You don't, so stop pretending you care if my daughter ever finds a nice-guy. The only thing you made abundantly clear about is that you want to be right because my opinion is not the same as yours.
Your not wrong, but then again, we all judge, no matter how much we say we do not. But I already know i'm not going to make a lot of friends here because I have strong views about things that people will instantly find disagreeable with. Although speaking of age.. 50 is actually pretty late for Americans. A lot of Americans are dieing of heart disease within their 40-60's so to say its middle-age.. well technically true, but if you look at how long people are living these days, its really starting to come closer to the end.
He presumed I didn't hang out with "Godly" women and generally got upset when my opinion didn't turn out to be his opinion. I think Utah owes me a apology, but I"ll know I'll never get one. What else is new in today's world?
I would pray to God to never send my daughter ever a nice-guy! He would never defend her, never tell her what is right, nor protect her. He will generally do whatever she wants to make her happy, but that is like spoiling a child and he himself desires to be loved above all else. I would want God to send my daughter, should I ever have one, a Godly man, and that is a huge difference from the nice-guy.
There is a difference between being nice and being kind, but I guess you glossed over that. You call someone out and are surprised they call you out back? Perhaps this has never happened to you before, perhaps you expected me to go cower in a corner and just be agreeable like everyone else. And its funny how you sit there and pretend to claim to care about me, my wife and our kids future. You don't, so stop pretending you care if my daughter ever finds a nice-guy. The only thing you made abundantly clear about is that you want to be right because my opinion is not the same as yours.
Ya know somethin', Shawn? Some day YOU are gonna be the 50 year old man sitting in his self-righteous chair. 
And Utah isn't an old man, he's a finely aged man. 30 years old is alot more middle age than 50 is..lol.. 50 isn't old.. 100 is old. And at 30 years old, it seems that you're ALREADY sittin' in that self-righteous seat, judging from your reply to Utah..
And Utah isn't an old man, he's a finely aged man. 30 years old is alot more middle age than 50 is..lol.. 50 isn't old.. 100 is old. And at 30 years old, it seems that you're ALREADY sittin' in that self-righteous seat, judging from your reply to Utah..
He presumed I didn't hang out with "Godly" women and generally got upset when my opinion didn't turn out to be his opinion. I think Utah owes me a apology, but I"ll know I'll never get one. What else is new in today's world?
Your not wrong, but then again, we all judge, no matter how much we say we do not. But I already know i'm not going to make a lot of friends here because I have strong views about things that people will instantly find disagreeable with. Although speaking of age.. 50 is actually pretty late for Americans. A lot of Americans are dieing of heart disease within their 40-60's so to say its middle-age.. well technically true, but if you look at how long people are living these days, its really starting to come closer to the end.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think. There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think.
There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
Your not wrong, but then again, we all judge, no matter how much we say we do not. But I already know i'm not going to make a lot of friends here because I have strong views about things that people will instantly find disagreeable with. Although speaking of age.. 50 is actually pretty late for Americans. A lot of Americans are dieing of heart disease within their 40-60's so to say its middle-age.. well technically true, but if you look at how long people are living these days, its really starting to come closer to the end.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think. There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think.
There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
Your not wrong, but then again, we all judge, no matter how much we say we do not. But I already know i'm not going to make a lot of friends here because I have strong views about things that people will instantly find disagreeable with. Although speaking of age.. 50 is actually pretty late for Americans. A lot of Americans are dieing of heart disease within their 40-60's so to say its middle-age.. well technically true, but if you look at how long people are living these days, its really starting to come closer to the end.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think. There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
If you look around here, you'll see that quite a few gentlemen are in their 70's and beyond. Two that come to my mind are Willie-T, who is 70, and JaumeJ, who is 71, I think.
There's even one user here who is NINETY-NINE, so it's really just speculation to say that alot of people aged 40-60 are dying middle-aged. You don't get much older than 99. lol And not ALL people who have heart attacks in their 40's, die from them. My dad had a heart attack in his 40's, and he's still going strong today at age 84. So age is kinda irrelevant as it relates to disease.
Americans suffer 1.5 million heart attacks and strokes each year. Cardiovascular disease—including heart disease and stroke—is the leading cause of death in the United States. Every day, 2,200 people die from cardiovascular diseases—that's nearly 800,000 Americans each year, or 1 in every 3 deaths.
By the time your done reading this post, 2 people are now dead because of it. But we cannot say just because someone didn't die of it, or someone made it past 60 doesn't mean there is not a issue and that it can be ignored and we can pretend our loved ones aren't dieing. I certainly would not want my kids growing up having to face such a case and say "good job, your one of the lucky ones that made it through, others not so much".
Society 60 years ago did not have this problem to this level or degree as we do today and i'm sure you would be much happier to know that what if you dad didn't need to have a stroke and you guys go through all that trauma? I say this because this is exactly how my mom lost her dad. Your dad pulled through, but her's did not.
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The whole "nice guys finish last" thing is an old chestnut. It really doesn't have anything to do with a man being "nice"...it has to do with a man being weak. But nicety and weakness are NOT the same. (For the record, I've met a lot of self-described "nice guys" who weren't nice. They simply wore a veil of nicety, presuming that being accommodating is the same thing as being good and kind...and it's not. Their civility quickly wore down under a moderate amount of hardship.) Additionally, the idea of "this is the reality" is always based on hearsay and the universalizing of personal experience.
Apparently, scientists out there have been investigating this very issue. Shockingly, people can actually tell the difference between "nice" and "weak." Here's an article about it:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/05/christoph-adami-arend-hintze_n_3709187.html
Nice Guys Finish First: Evolution Will Punish Selfish People, Says Study By Michigan State University Biologists
Forget about that "Nice guys finish last" mantra you've heard so much about.
A new study by two biologists at Michigan State University says that nice organisms actually finish first.
"We found evolution will punish you if you're selfish and mean," said lead author Christoph Adami.
The study by Adami and co-author Arend Hintze is published in the current issue of Nature Communications, and revolves around game theory, according to a press release from the university.
Its results challenge a popular study from 2012 that was published in the Proceeding of the National Academy of Sciences. In it, scientists used a test called "Prisoner's Dilemma," where two prisoners are hypothetically offered freedom if they choose to rat the other out. If both prisoners talk, they each spend three months in jail. If both keep their mouths shut, they each get their sentences shortened. And if only one person snitches, that person gets to go free. The test concluded that selfish players would ultimately beat cooperative players, because it is in your interest to look out for yourself.
Amadi and Hintze set out to determine if evolution favored selfish players. They used computers to run thousands of simulations and found cooperative players actually benefited in the long run.
"For a short time and against a specific set of opponents, some selfish organisms may come out ahead," Amadi explained. "But selfishness isn't evolutionarily sustainable."
Ultimately, they said, selfish players can only benefit if they know who their opponents are. Once they are out of that setting, they are forced to cooperate.
A similar study was published in 2008 by a scientist at Harvard University, where 100 Boston-area college students played a game over and over and were given the chance to make money by cooperating with or punishing each other. Those who gave out the least amount of punishments ultimately made the most money.
*****
While I get that there are nuances to the USAGE of the term "nice guy," the word NICE actually has a standardized meaning that has nothing to do with weakness.
Here are the top 2:
1. pleasing;agreeable;delightful:
a nice visit.
2. amiably pleasant;kind:
They are always nice to strangers.
What I don't get is why Christians feel compelled to bow down to the world's definition of "nice." So, instead of falling in line with the world and presume that "nice" and "weak" are the same, why don't we RECAPTURE the word nice? How about being STRONG and also NICE?
Apparently, scientists out there have been investigating this very issue. Shockingly, people can actually tell the difference between "nice" and "weak." Here's an article about it:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/05/christoph-adami-arend-hintze_n_3709187.html
Nice Guys Finish First: Evolution Will Punish Selfish People, Says Study By Michigan State University Biologists
Forget about that "Nice guys finish last" mantra you've heard so much about.
A new study by two biologists at Michigan State University says that nice organisms actually finish first.
"We found evolution will punish you if you're selfish and mean," said lead author Christoph Adami.
The study by Adami and co-author Arend Hintze is published in the current issue of Nature Communications, and revolves around game theory, according to a press release from the university.
Its results challenge a popular study from 2012 that was published in the Proceeding of the National Academy of Sciences. In it, scientists used a test called "Prisoner's Dilemma," where two prisoners are hypothetically offered freedom if they choose to rat the other out. If both prisoners talk, they each spend three months in jail. If both keep their mouths shut, they each get their sentences shortened. And if only one person snitches, that person gets to go free. The test concluded that selfish players would ultimately beat cooperative players, because it is in your interest to look out for yourself.
Amadi and Hintze set out to determine if evolution favored selfish players. They used computers to run thousands of simulations and found cooperative players actually benefited in the long run.
"For a short time and against a specific set of opponents, some selfish organisms may come out ahead," Amadi explained. "But selfishness isn't evolutionarily sustainable."
Ultimately, they said, selfish players can only benefit if they know who their opponents are. Once they are out of that setting, they are forced to cooperate.
A similar study was published in 2008 by a scientist at Harvard University, where 100 Boston-area college students played a game over and over and were given the chance to make money by cooperating with or punishing each other. Those who gave out the least amount of punishments ultimately made the most money.
*****
While I get that there are nuances to the USAGE of the term "nice guy," the word NICE actually has a standardized meaning that has nothing to do with weakness.
Here are the top 2:
1. pleasing;agreeable;delightful:
a nice visit.
2. amiably pleasant;kind:
They are always nice to strangers.
What I don't get is why Christians feel compelled to bow down to the world's definition of "nice." So, instead of falling in line with the world and presume that "nice" and "weak" are the same, why don't we RECAPTURE the word nice? How about being STRONG and also NICE?
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Amazingly you've out-dumbed your own dumbness. Welcome to reality, kid.
I'm a nice guy and I've put myself in harms way on several occasions in order to protect innocence. No point in giving specifics, after all, this is the internet and people have been known to stretch the truth, so I'll spare you the details. But truth be told, countless nice guys have done the same. For some reason, you equate nice with weak and cowardly.
On another note, your theatrics are really over the top. Exaggeration to the nth degree. Seriously dude, take a pill. But I guess its to be expected from someone who comes from a generation of kittens who know nothing about protecting others.
I must say that you're a venomous little tike, and to be honest, I find your online bravado quite amusing, because everyone knows it doesn't exist in the real world, otherwise you'd be taking an entirely different position on this thread.
I hope you stick around; I'm going to enjoy watching your spiritual growth.
I'm a nice guy and I've put myself in harms way on several occasions in order to protect innocence. No point in giving specifics, after all, this is the internet and people have been known to stretch the truth, so I'll spare you the details. But truth be told, countless nice guys have done the same. For some reason, you equate nice with weak and cowardly.
On another note, your theatrics are really over the top. Exaggeration to the nth degree. Seriously dude, take a pill. But I guess its to be expected from someone who comes from a generation of kittens who know nothing about protecting others.
I must say that you're a venomous little tike, and to be honest, I find your online bravado quite amusing, because everyone knows it doesn't exist in the real world, otherwise you'd be taking an entirely different position on this thread.
I hope you stick around; I'm going to enjoy watching your spiritual growth.
I find I can't choose a side in this argument. Both sides are insulting each other. How can I side with either?
I will just leave the current argument alone and instead reply to the OP. I'm a nice guy, or so I have been told. I don't see where it detracts from me being a christian or makes me a doormat. I help others when I can and when it is feasible. I stop helping others when I can't feasibly help them or when they are just taking advantage of me.
And since the topic of dating and marriage has somehow become inextricably entwined with this thread, I will mention I'm single. In fact I've never been on a date before. I haven't bothered looking for a date before. Not because I'm a nice guy, but because finding a girl is not the most important thing in my life.
I will just leave the current argument alone and instead reply to the OP. I'm a nice guy, or so I have been told. I don't see where it detracts from me being a christian or makes me a doormat. I help others when I can and when it is feasible. I stop helping others when I can't feasibly help them or when they are just taking advantage of me.
And since the topic of dating and marriage has somehow become inextricably entwined with this thread, I will mention I'm single. In fact I've never been on a date before. I haven't bothered looking for a date before. Not because I'm a nice guy, but because finding a girl is not the most important thing in my life.
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Don't make me laugh. Your the generation that failed this generation. Who was responsible for raising these kids? Thats right, you and your peers. But you all partied your years away, only caring about yourselves & the love of rock n roll to care what happened to your children. Even the baby boomer generation has taken advantage of the youth today. You want to know why these kids are so messed up? Look in the mirror. It was the older folks who were the leaders and those leaders failed them. Kids aren't born screw ups, their parents certainly help push them along.
If my words burn you, then the shoe must fit you perfectly and if you honestly think I would be different, i'll gladly give you my address and you can "come take care of this kid". I'm sure your violence will serve Christ well.
And i'll be watching you get stuck in your ways.
If my words burn you, then the shoe must fit you perfectly and if you honestly think I would be different, i'll gladly give you my address and you can "come take care of this kid". I'm sure your violence will serve Christ well.
And i'll be watching you get stuck in your ways.
A
Well... I'd go with Maxwell on this. Nice can mean anything. It all depends on how we define 'nice' and whats our basis of 'good'.
I tend to go with what's 'right'. I mean, a guy can be 'good' but not 'right' - and I base that on biblical principles.
To me, being 'nice' though is, like what Bruce said, closely relates to the fruits of the Spirit. So there's that.
As long as the guy seeks God, then I'd know for sure he's on the 'right' track and he will be 'nice' and that is 'good' enough.
I tend to go with what's 'right'. I mean, a guy can be 'good' but not 'right' - and I base that on biblical principles.
To me, being 'nice' though is, like what Bruce said, closely relates to the fruits of the Spirit. So there's that.
As long as the guy seeks God, then I'd know for sure he's on the 'right' track and he will be 'nice' and that is 'good' enough.
Thanks for the laugh kid. Seriously, I just spit coffee all over my computer screen.
You've got nothing kid, so all you do is attack. Your deep-seeded insecurities on full display. How sad.
You've got nothing kid, so all you do is attack. Your deep-seeded insecurities on full display. How sad.
Thanks for the laugh kid. Seriously, I just spit coffee all over my computer screen.
You've got nothing kid, so all you do is attack. Your deep-seeded insecurities on full display. How sad.
You've got nothing kid, so all you do is attack. Your deep-seeded insecurities on full display. How sad.
well dang, sweetie. I keep tellin' ya, drink the coffee BEFORE you read people's posts..lol..
*Hands Utah some paper towels* 