why women won't be the first to talk to guys?

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MollyConnor

Guest
#61
#61
Because it's scary! I remember when I was in 8th grade I was head over heels for some football player. I even wrote him a letter telling him how I felt and that I wanted to go out with him. I gave it to him and he smiled at me. I thought everything was going to be cool. Turns out that he read it, freaked out and stayed away from me the rest of the year...he even threw my letter in the trash. :mad:
So yeah...there's a lot to lose. Maybe if I hadn't been forward he wouldn't have thought I was weird or would not have freaked out like he did.
It's all in the past but everyone told me that it was my fault for having approached him. Women are not to do that.

Also, there was someone I recently joked to about giving me a kiss. Someone on here actually. I was just playing with him but he did think it was forward. He didn't make me feel bad about it but he did say the word 'forward.' And it seemed like he was uncomfortable.
It was all in good fun, I didn't really mean it and was just playing with this friend. So even if we're playing, we can seem forward and out of line. I'm actually glad that that happened online because now I know never to say something like that to a guy in person. LOL

Can you imagine if I actually asked a guy out or told him that I liked him? I would feel really lousy and desperate if he said no or called me 'forward.'

I think women want to feel desired. If a guy is not doing the chasing, she's never going to feel desired in the relationship and that's something required for a healthy one.

So yeah I'm with you, Jsr1221, writing off relationships for now...or forever. Whatever. :p
 
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Starsdance

Guest
#62
#62
Men are brave, women are shy....lol
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#63
Apr 18, 2013
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#63
MollyConnor said:
I think women want to feel desired. If a guy is not doing the chasing, she's never going to feel desired in the relationship and that's something required for a healthy one.
Click to expand...
Molly,

I think there are plenty of girls who feel differently,
and who do things differently.

It's ok for people to view some of these things differently.
That doesn't invalidate your views, or opinions.

It's perfectly fine for you to be you,
and for someone else to be someone else...
as long as we're staying within Biblical morals.

There are things in the bible which are very "black and white",
and there are things in the bible which are not.
This is one of the "nots".

There was nothing "wrong" with telling a boy you liked him in 8th grade,
and there's nothing wrong with deciding to do things differently now.

And... there will be nothing "wrong" if you decide to handle it differently tomorrow.

This isn't a black and white issue.
It's ok to just be yourself.
And it's even ok to make mistakes.
 
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setapartgirl

Guest
#64
#64
In the country where i live in, it feels so wrong if it is the girl who will make the first move, especially if they are both single, and most men will not take them seriously because for them it's a CHEAP ACT, sometimes its frustrating for us women ,having this kind of culture lol, so even if we like the guy we hide it, unless he will approach us then we will go with the flow, but well if it is pure friendship, especially in special occasions like in church or a friends party, i try to introduce my self, and wil
Act in civil manner, well sometimes attitude of a person affects this kind of things also, if he or she is some kind of extrovert, approaching people will not her/his problem. Sometimes its all about CONFIDENCE.
 
F

fourleaf

Guest
#65
#65
Some women are just shy. Like myself. Or sometimes the reason is that they dont seem to find the person approachable.

I think we need to smile often so that people will approach us especially to those we want to know. Ha! I should tell that to myself.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#66
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#66
setapartgirl said:
In the country where i live in, it feels so wrong if it is the girl who will make the first move, especially if they are both single, and most men will not take them seriously because for them it's a CHEAP ACT, sometimes its frustrating for us women ,having this kind of culture lol, so even if we like the guy we hide it, unless he will approach us then we will go with the flow, but well if it is pure friendship, especially in special occasions like in church or a friends party, i try to introduce my self, and wil
Act in civil manner, well sometimes attitude of a person affects this kind of things also, if he or she is some kind of extrovert, approaching people will not her/his problem. Sometimes its all about CONFIDENCE.
Click to expand...
Different cultures deal with these things in different ways.
And that's fine.

In the U.S., some girls are shy or reserved, and some girls are very outgoing... either is usually considered fine.

I'm sure that girls in the Philippines still "do things", and give out little signals, so guys will know when girls are interested.
 
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setapartgirl

Guest
#67
#67
maxwel said:
Different cultures deal with these things in different ways.
And that's fine.

In the U.S., some girls are shy or reserved, and some girls are very outgoing... either is usually considered fine.

I'm sure that girls in the Philippines still "do things", and give out little signals, so guys will know when girls are interested.
Click to expand...
Yeah yeah ofcourse, some girls do the approaching here too, but mostly christian girls are too shy and reserve to do the first move, sometimes the unbelievers have the guts to do it than christian gals, or maybe because christian women, knows that we should be the one who will be pursue and its better to concentrate in the Lord than pursuing men.

Well, regardless about believers or not, maybe the most common denominator here is REJECTION, we are afraid of that term. Men and women that's why.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#68
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#68
setapartgirl said:
Yeah yeah ofcourse, some girls do the approaching here too, but mostly christian girls are too shy and reserve to do the first move, sometimes the unbelievers have the guts to do it than christian gals, or maybe because christian women, knows that we should be the one who will be pursue and its better to concentrate in the Lord than pursuing men.

Well, regardless about believers or not, maybe the most common denominator here is REJECTION, we are afraid of that term. Men and women that's why.
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Well, no one likes rejection.
That's hard for everyone.
It's hard for women and men, in any culture.

However, the fear of "rejection" is probably much stronger in an Asian culture.
I don't think that is good or bad... it's just different.
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#69
#69
maxwel said:
Molly,

I think there are plenty of girls who feel differently,
and who do things differently.

It's ok for people to view some of these things differently.
That doesn't invalidate your views, or opinions.

It's perfectly fine for you to be you,
and for someone else to be someone else...
as long as we're staying within Biblical morals.

There are things in the bible which are very "black and white",
and there are things in the bible which are not.
This is one of the "nots".

There was nothing "wrong" with telling a boy you liked him in 8th grade,
and there's nothing wrong with deciding to do things differently now.

And... there will be nothing "wrong" if you decide to handle it differently tomorrow.

This isn't a black and white issue.
It's ok to just be yourself.
And it's even ok to make mistakes.
Click to expand...
I never said that only my opinion mattered. I said "I think." I know not everyone is going to be the same way or have the same views that I have. I'm just giving out my opinion.
I don't understand why you're saying all that when I didn't say everyone was the same.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#70
Apr 18, 2013
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#70
MollyConnor said:
I never said that only my opinion mattered. I said "I think." I know not everyone is going to be the same way or have the same views that I have. I'm just giving out my opinion.
I don't understand why you're saying all that when I didn't say everyone was the same.
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Molly,
If I offended you, please accept my apology.

I wasn't trying to contradict you, or argue with you.

I was just sharing some ideas, and some thoughts.

God Bless,
Max
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#71
#71
maxwel said:
Molly,
If I offended you, please accept my apology.

I wasn't trying to contradict you, or argue with you.

I was just sharing some ideas, and some thoughts.

God Bless,
Max
Click to expand...
I read your PM, thanks for that. I'm sorry too. I guess I completely misinterpreted the post. :(
I've been really edgy lately, emotionally, and I took it out on you. Sorry, Maxwel.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#72
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#72
No worries.

: )
 
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