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Except for Hosea, of course. Since God not only expected it, he got Hosea to marry a prostitute. Maybe not so good to tell what God expects, when God does go through extremes on getting the point across. (Rather why I keep telling people to study the Bible for their answers. God still gets his point across today to the astonishment of many. Even to go so far as to say to stay with the cheater, AND it works, because it's God's say-so.)
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I'll give you this much:
1. NOT this!
Just because someone plays the Christian card doesn't mean the beliefs aren't simply humanism, at best. Just because someone gives advice, doesn't mean they give sound advice. I can guarantee that wasn't good advice when you start in with how you feel first.
2. Start another thread. Think about this, you're stepping on the toes of someone who was just betrayed in the same manner. You're adding hurt onto hurt. And yes, I get you're hurting too, so hopefully, if you start a new thread, you get help. (But remember my first point, because you might not too.) I promise if you do, I will try, although honestly? I'm the Number 1 wife of a man who had a a first wife who cheated on him twice, so I am coming from the side of don't hurt my spouse. Still, despite that, I am fully aware we are ALL sinners in need of God's grace, so I won't beat you up, if you start a new thread.
1. NOT this!
Just because someone plays the Christian card doesn't mean the beliefs aren't simply humanism, at best. Just because someone gives advice, doesn't mean they give sound advice. I can guarantee that wasn't good advice when you start in with how you feel first.
2. Start another thread. Think about this, you're stepping on the toes of someone who was just betrayed in the same manner. You're adding hurt onto hurt. And yes, I get you're hurting too, so hopefully, if you start a new thread, you get help. (But remember my first point, because you might not too.) I promise if you do, I will try, although honestly? I'm the Number 1 wife of a man who had a a first wife who cheated on him twice, so I am coming from the side of don't hurt my spouse. Still, despite that, I am fully aware we are ALL sinners in need of God's grace, so I won't beat you up, if you start a new thread.
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This isn't about what he will or won't do right now. This is abut you finding out what God wants you to do about this. You cannot fix someone else. You can only learn how to deal with yourself. You don't know what God wants you to do yet. Start there.
Get out your Bible and Bible aids. (If you don't know what Bible aids are, ask, and I'll go into more detail so you can search the Word for yourself.)
Word Study and then concept study the following:
Marriage.
Wife.
Husband.
After that do a quick peruse to read the stories of the patriarchs and matriarchs in the Bible. (For anyone who wants to tell me there aren't matriarchs, all I can say is Ruth sure was one and had wonderful lessons to teach about being a giving DIL and wife, so that book counts big time, even if we didn't see her life as a married woman.) The married folks. So you can get some idea how not-so-happy marriages still happened even for the mighty men of God. (And some happy marriages.) They give lessons in stuff to do and more lessons in stuff not to do.
And all the time while studying, pray. Pray God leads you to YOUR answer.
Everyone and their uncle knows adultery is the reason to end a marriage, so, yeah. That IS on the table. BUT, like I said before, read the story of Hosea. God told him to marry a prostitute specifically so he could experience the crushing feeling of what you're going through right now. God had something important to say in that. He wanted it loud and clear that WE are his adulterer. We prostitute ourselves even as Christ's bride and it hurts God that much too.
Somewhere in your study, if you keep praying and seeking God's will, he will give you YOUR answer. One specifically designed for you to know what YOU do about this.
Then, and only then, will you know how to deal with your hubby. You cannot fix him, but God can fix you in the process of doing this.
How do I know this? Because I would not have married hubby had I not known he did that after his wife cheated. Had he just thrown in the towel without seeking God's will, I wouldn't have married him. AND he had to do it twice, because she cheated twice. First time God told him to stay. Second time, God gave him permission to leave.
And I don't say God's answer for you will be the same. I just know he read the same verses from the same Bible and God personally gave him different answers both times. That's God for you. Trust him to do that for you too.
Get out your Bible and Bible aids. (If you don't know what Bible aids are, ask, and I'll go into more detail so you can search the Word for yourself.)
Word Study and then concept study the following:
Marriage.
Wife.
Husband.
After that do a quick peruse to read the stories of the patriarchs and matriarchs in the Bible. (For anyone who wants to tell me there aren't matriarchs, all I can say is Ruth sure was one and had wonderful lessons to teach about being a giving DIL and wife, so that book counts big time, even if we didn't see her life as a married woman.) The married folks. So you can get some idea how not-so-happy marriages still happened even for the mighty men of God. (And some happy marriages.) They give lessons in stuff to do and more lessons in stuff not to do.
And all the time while studying, pray. Pray God leads you to YOUR answer.
Everyone and their uncle knows adultery is the reason to end a marriage, so, yeah. That IS on the table. BUT, like I said before, read the story of Hosea. God told him to marry a prostitute specifically so he could experience the crushing feeling of what you're going through right now. God had something important to say in that. He wanted it loud and clear that WE are his adulterer. We prostitute ourselves even as Christ's bride and it hurts God that much too.
Somewhere in your study, if you keep praying and seeking God's will, he will give you YOUR answer. One specifically designed for you to know what YOU do about this.
Then, and only then, will you know how to deal with your hubby. You cannot fix him, but God can fix you in the process of doing this.
How do I know this? Because I would not have married hubby had I not known he did that after his wife cheated. Had he just thrown in the towel without seeking God's will, I wouldn't have married him. AND he had to do it twice, because she cheated twice. First time God told him to stay. Second time, God gave him permission to leave.
And I don't say God's answer for you will be the same. I just know he read the same verses from the same Bible and God personally gave him different answers both times. That's God for you. Trust him to do that for you too.
First of all, "catholic in origin" means "catholic-based." I'm not being mean spirited at all, nor am I prejudiced. I never said the OP would be turned away if she couldn't pay. I SAID if it didn't work, she'd lose quite a bit of money. The program itself says that it is NOT a miracle cure, nor is it marriage counseling. Then in the next paragraph it says, that it is for "marriage HELP." The OP can get help through counseling, and Retrouvaille is NOT a counseling program. It admittedly doesn't give marriage advice, so how can this program possibly "help" the OP when it does NOT offer counseling, does NOT offer marriage advice, so therefore CANNOT truly offer HELP?? 
The program is good at telling us what it does NOT offer, but it severely lacks in telling us what it DOES offer. :/
The program is good at telling us what it does NOT offer, but it severely lacks in telling us what it DOES offer. :/
You need to go for professional pastoral counseling. Go by yourself. You have a lot of things to discover and work on. Solo counseling may not save your marriage, but it may help you get through this difficult part of your life.
Since he has proven himself to be unfaithful, you need some tools to learn how to cope, whether you stay in the marriage or leave. No one here is a professional, you will get much better help if you see someone qualified who can ask the questions that need to be asked, and help you formulate a plan for how to deal with moving forward.
It is not all about him! Take care of yourself.
Since he has proven himself to be unfaithful, you need some tools to learn how to cope, whether you stay in the marriage or leave. No one here is a professional, you will get much better help if you see someone qualified who can ask the questions that need to be asked, and help you formulate a plan for how to deal with moving forward.
It is not all about him! Take care of yourself.
Hosea loved his wife just like Jehovah loved Israel when they were disobedient and whoring with other gods.
I do not know but what if God is going to use this situation to bring the wayward partner to Christ? How much suffering is worth the saving of a soul?
God has blessed me with a faithful spouse and the foundation of that faithfulness is her faithfulness to the Lord. In the pain and loss of these matters it is very difficult to remember that Christ is the focus and not us. A recurring theme in this forum is self and the hurt that comes from placing other things ahead of Christ.
If we as believers lie, if we as believers cheat we first lie to and cheat on Christ our Savior. If they are unsaved then the obligation is to bring them to the Lord for salvation.
Mt 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mr 8:37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Nu 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
It is painful to deal with the aftermath of sin.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
I do not know but what if God is going to use this situation to bring the wayward partner to Christ? How much suffering is worth the saving of a soul?
God has blessed me with a faithful spouse and the foundation of that faithfulness is her faithfulness to the Lord. In the pain and loss of these matters it is very difficult to remember that Christ is the focus and not us. A recurring theme in this forum is self and the hurt that comes from placing other things ahead of Christ.
If we as believers lie, if we as believers cheat we first lie to and cheat on Christ our Savior. If they are unsaved then the obligation is to bring them to the Lord for salvation.
Mt 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mr 8:37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Nu 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
It is painful to deal with the aftermath of sin.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
U
Wow what a group of mindless nitpickers. I won't state the most obvious things like 'just trust God' because that is the crap Christians complain about hearing the most. And why do they complain about it? BECAUSE THEY ALREADY KNOW! So telling people mindless cliches of things they already know, simply because you don't have the brains to offer them anything more substantial is usually more annoying to most Christians than helpful.
So the two of you can take your mindless, thoughtless, cliched answers and put them somewhere dark, along with your inane nitpicking of others for not engaging in your shallow, thoughtless, unhelpful ineptitude. Maybe try saying something useful to the OP instead of whining that other people's answers aren't good enough.
Oh. Yeah. Also try reading some context before attempting to criticize people. Because another brainless twit tried criticizing me for suggesting counseling. And I had to correct his thinking, which was the reason I said 'counseling is a good place to start'. It was in response to another user whining. So perhaps if you'd read correctly to begin with you could've saved your whiney criticisms for someone who actually said something wrong.
No wonder people quit this site so soon after joining.
So the two of you can take your mindless, thoughtless, cliched answers and put them somewhere dark, along with your inane nitpicking of others for not engaging in your shallow, thoughtless, unhelpful ineptitude. Maybe try saying something useful to the OP instead of whining that other people's answers aren't good enough.
Oh. Yeah. Also try reading some context before attempting to criticize people. Because another brainless twit tried criticizing me for suggesting counseling. And I had to correct his thinking, which was the reason I said 'counseling is a good place to start'. It was in response to another user whining. So perhaps if you'd read correctly to begin with you could've saved your whiney criticisms for someone who actually said something wrong.
No wonder people quit this site so soon after joining.
P
Sadly not all Christians know they can actually trust God, due to false teachings they have embraced. They have been taught a self reliance mentality that is demanded from certain views, such as loss of salvation. And even for those that understand salvation cannot be lost, they may not have embraced it in their heart. They have reached an intellectual understanding, but have not understood it through study and as direct revelation from the Lord.
Counseling is good, as long as it is godly counsel, rooted in the Word of God. And if the one receiving the counsel has determined themselves a lost cause, then instructing that person concerning the grace of God and the forgiveness available to them becomes a more concerted effort.
I think the member that proposed a possible guilt driving this fellow's behavior is a good possibility. It may be that he knows he has behaved in an extremely vile way, and does not feel he can, or should be...forgiven.
God bless.
Counseling is good, as long as it is godly counsel, rooted in the Word of God. And if the one receiving the counsel has determined themselves a lost cause, then instructing that person concerning the grace of God and the forgiveness available to them becomes a more concerted effort.
I think the member that proposed a possible guilt driving this fellow's behavior is a good possibility. It may be that he knows he has behaved in an extremely vile way, and does not feel he can, or should be...forgiven.
God bless.