A rather serious subject to discuss

[Funrider]

Hi folks.

I've stuck by Christ, in submission and will, for almost 6.5 years already (In May 2016, it will be 7 years walking with Christ). I'm at a point where I am fully in submission to him, even though some days I hate it.

I'd like to have a mature, non-biased discussion on living with Christ. I hope I can accomplish this with you.



I will post in bits and pieces. It will take a whole volume of books to cover the questions I, and likely you, have about Jesus and the walk in faith by scripture. I will say this...I do not sugarcoat. You will not like some things I say or suggest. I bring the bare bones out of the Christian struggle. I advise you to come with an open sense of discernment in the holy spirit. I will offend some of you by accident. Forgive me in advance.



Maybe at the start of this...conversation between us, whomever you are, it will be mild and cheerful. I will be open and transparent, though. I invite you to do the same.


So, why am I reaching out here? Well...to be perfectly honest, I dont know. I'm not sure if this is a good investment of my time. Can I find my spiritual answers here, or am I merely digging for answers again, from an empty well?

Walking in Jesus has been a blessing, a peaceful journey, and a spiritual relief. The wickedness I am observing on all angles disgusts me, and I feel that, as a Christian, I cant do a damn thing to fight the enemy that is destroying Christianity, the free enterprise system of the United States Of America, and everything that is good with life.

Listen, people can do whatever they want. If they want to seek Jesus or not, it's their choice. I recommend they seek Jesus, but that's where a problem I have lies...to give your life to Jesus, is to basically choose to forefeit your worldy desires, and accept a crappy life where nothing gets done...but, you have Jesus. I have accepted this.

Walking with Christ, I have experienced peace, joy, and understanding. Sometimes, I could really really care less. I look at nice homes, BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, trust funds, real estate investments, nice clothes, timeshares, comfort, enough money to never have to work a job...and then I look at Jesus...and realize how much life sucks.

I know the truth, and it's worth more than gold, but let me be real folks...sometimes, I question whether Jesus is truly worth it. The extent of my 'relationship' with him is mostly one-sided. Some days, it's like I talk to myself, and cannot acknowledge Jesus even caring. For the most part, it's up to me to get things done. Honestly, when it comes to personal achievement, I tend to accuse God the father of being a little more than useless in any endeavor. Yet, I give thanks to him, even when the day is crap, for I am still alive.

The first thing I want to ask is...can I expect much out of life being submitted to the will of Christ? Do I even have any right to succeed? I have goals and dreams, but if the price involves me giving them up for the sake of God's will, I may reconsider. I've forced myself, at this point, to be fully submissive to God, but I still want that power and choice to control. It seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, I cannot command what I desire in life. Can I be a powerful Christian leader, or does me giving my life to Jesus reduce me to a useless puppet?

 

[biblicalsandy]

To me I fall on...not to build my riches here. Is he worth it, to me he is...I just have to be patient, and know the new heaven and earth will arrive. That the promise will be fulfilled! He constantly reminds me about how his life was here, and if his was not good, neither will ours. I don't always understand the pain, of why these things must take place, and how it has to do with our growth...but I will trust in our Heavenly Father, always faithful and true.

 

[slave]

"What have you sacrificed for God's sake?" would be my first question. The reason I ask that is because I have only gained from Him and never lost ground-ever!. And I, like you, have followed God over my years in durations of length to understand the cross we pick up and carry daily as well; the cost to serving My Lord and King. Yet, still I have only gained it all and never lost anything. Why do I have this opinion and you do not, having served the same God? I think we can explore those answers as you answer that first question.

God is not wanting you to give away anything but one thing: your whole life, so the other question, that would have a marketable concern here is.. "what exactly is your life's value before Christ?" Many other issues follow in way of that question as well, such as;" what potential to Joy can you get apart from God?" Not happiness, but joy and peace. There are many happy sinners, until they die, but that is no trade off for sin sake is it? 100 years of sinful happiness for an eternity of hell fire and separation from hope?? What gain is there in that? "Where does a man profit if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"

But the Character of God is that we should not only have Salvation but that we have life more Abundantly here as well, even despite Gods charge of service.. John 10:10. He goes on to mention, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me with all of your heart."

Now in that verse the obvious answer is you will prosper, but the subtle point is He serves us first so as to seek with all your heart to find Him {the real prize!}. The subtle point to humans is the last part, the real point to God is the value in the result to that...Knowing Him.. In that, then, it is our changed understanding God invests in us that notices what is of "Real Spiritual Value" in our own hearts and minds in the process of a renewed transformed lifestyle in His Spirit. So my next question is" why are you not in full Joy over your life in the Lord? And what dreams over- rule Gods blessings, that you have sacrificed? Now, this is an issue God will be apart of changing in you thru His Spirit I believe.

The truth is we can give nothing of value to God that benefits Him in a need He has save one thing, Our devotion and surrender in honoring His glory. The Pharisees had the attitude of, "Look God we have done all this sacrificing for you in our Obedience to your law, you owe us now!" Gods response was deliberate and basically said He owes man nothing, but has chosen to gift man with His only begotten Son to benefit man. "Do you see Jesus in your life as a benefit?" "Or is the credit to your service the benefit?" It is Jesus Christ that is now the measure of our Joy, not just God's Joy, and not the desires of original sin.. There is a mistake in there if you feel otherwise. And God wants to work that out with you...

Now when you say, "You may reconsider..." This comes off as a threat almost to me. But what can you do to threaten God? "God can not be mocked, what a man sows so shall he reap!" Time to reevaluate things at His feet, I believe. Is the short-lived victory, that has no peace or Joy in it, really the better thing you had to sacrifice?!

God will never hunt you down to force you to obey, and you speak of the lack of your will power, having to surrender it to God, again sacrificially. Yet, God has never altered the power of your will in the walk He calls us to in Christ Jesus, in fact, He strengthens it. And He will never take away you ability to chose sin again, if that be your wills command, for love to remain viable. He has only asked you to use your will for His sake after first being loved by Him first!.

You are right in one thing however! You say it seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, you cannot command what you desire in life. The key to that sentence to me is the word 'desire' God says "If you remain in Me and my Words remains in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." So God is interested in the desires of your heart, but He is in the business of reconditioning our heart. To change our desires from within, to make His desires our own in a real sense, and not a pretentious walk of sacrifice. Otherwise we will want the desires of the world and flesh.

Ultimately, you state, "can you be a powerful leader for Christ." Yet, I discern you don't really understand where the power is in it. It is not in you, It is in Jesus Christ fully surrendered in you!, then God will prosper you and let you find Him. To make yourself His puppet is to gain life, purpose and power, to go after your own life is to be a useless puppet! The Word tells us that if we try to save our life we will lose it, but if we lose our life for His Name sake we will find it. When that happens you will be commissioned by Our Lord Jesus Christ with power you have yet to understand even!

 

[jb]

Hi folks.

I've stuck by Christ, in submission and will, for almost 6.5 years already (In May 2016, it will be 7 years walking with Christ). I'm at a point where I am fully in submission to him, even though some days I hate it.

I'd like to have a mature, non-biased discussion on living with Christ. I hope I can accomplish this with you.



I will post in bits and pieces. It will take a whole volume of books to cover the questions I, and likely you, have about Jesus and the walk in faith by scripture. I will say this...I do not sugarcoat. You will not like some things I say or suggest. I bring the bare bones out of the Christian struggle. I advise you to come with an open sense of discernment in the holy spirit. I will offend some of you by accident. Forgive me in advance.



Maybe at the start of this...conversation between us, whomever you are, it will be mild and cheerful. I will be open and transparent, though. I invite you to do the same.


So, why am I reaching out here? Well...to be perfectly honest, I dont know. I'm not sure if this is a good investment of my time. Can I find my spiritual answers here, or am I merely digging for answers again, from an empty well?

Walking in Jesus has been a blessing, a peaceful journey, and a spiritual relief. The wickedness I am observing on all angles disgusts me, and I feel that, as a Christian, I cant do a damn thing to fight the enemy that is destroying Christianity, the free enterprise system of the United States Of America, and everything that is good with life.

Listen, people can do whatever they want. If they want to seek Jesus or not, it's their choice. I recommend they seek Jesus, but that's where a problem I have lies...to give your life to Jesus, is to basically choose to forefeit your worldy desires, and accept a crappy life where nothing gets done...but, you have Jesus. I have accepted this.

Walking with Christ, I have experienced peace, joy, and understanding. Sometimes, I could really really care less. I look at nice homes, BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, trust funds, real estate investments, nice clothes, timeshares, comfort, enough money to never have to work a job...and then I look at Jesus...and realize how much life sucks.

I know the truth, and it's worth more than gold, but let me be real folks...sometimes, I question whether Jesus is truly worth it. The extent of my 'relationship' with him is mostly one-sided. Some days, it's like I talk to myself, and cannot acknowledge Jesus even caring. For the most part, it's up to me to get things done. Honestly, when it comes to personal achievement, I tend to accuse God the father of being a little more than useless in any endeavor. Yet, I give thanks to him, even when the day is crap, for I am still alive.

The first thing I want to ask is...can I expect much out of life being submitted to the will of Christ? Do I even have any right to succeed? I have goals and dreams, but if the price involves me giving them up for the sake of God's will, I may reconsider. I've forced myself, at this point, to be fully submissive to God, but I still want that power and choice to control. It seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, I cannot command what I desire in life. Can I be a powerful Christian leader, or does me giving my life to Jesus reduce me to a useless puppet?

Poor You!

Have a look at Col 3 (all, but esp. v23,24) as you obviously have a "tunnel view" of liberty in the Spirit (2Cor 3v17)

Yahweh Shalom

 

[PeterJens]

The first thing I want to ask is...can I expect much out of life being submitted to the will of Christ? Do I even have any right to succeed? I have goals and dreams, but if the price involves me giving them up for the sake of God's will, I may reconsider. I've forced myself, at this point, to be fully submissive to God, but I still want that power and choice to control. It seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, I cannot command what I desire in life. Can I be a powerful Christian leader, or does me giving my life to Jesus reduce me to a useless puppet?

You say, I have submitted to Christ etc. You have a spiritual blindness about yourself and others, about what is important, how you connect with others, and what life and love actually are. You see walking with Jesus as being other than the world, but not that the things in the world are Gods blessing and there to be used for good things.

Wealth, power, sex, food, houses etc are meaningless without context. Jesus wants people who love from the heart, who are empowered by His spirit to see needs and meet them.

The picture you paint is of someone following after Jesus because you know he is the way, but you do not yet have the "life" within. Jesus promise was to give us streams of living water. You have dreams, ambitions etc. but have you yet seen these are as much illusions as the wealth you see in the world as desirable. You are valuable as you are today, and you are worthy, a glorious work of Gods hand. Gods heart is that you put this into action, and out of this dreams and ambitions will flow. Look at the apostles and prophets of old. Look at how they lived and what inspired them. That is life and life eternal, but it is a narrow path, and not easy.

Is it worth it? There is nothing else like it, literally, because this is life eternal, this is the creator of the universe, this is love in action, this is the cross and the power of God. Look at how satan tempted Christ after his baptism.

There is a price to this walk, but also a real reward, relationships that can never be broken, love that is deeper than the deepest sea and reality as pure as the clearest stream. Take heart, there is so much more to this than you have yet experienced.

 

[Funrider]

To me I fall on...not to build my riches here. Is he worth it, to me he is...I just have to be patient, and know the new heaven and earth will arrive. That the promise will be fulfilled! He constantly reminds me about how his life was here, and if his was not good, neither will ours. I don't always understand the pain, of why these things must take place, and how it has to do with our growth...but I will trust in our Heavenly Father, always faithful and true.

See, I wish I could live that simply. I wish I could settle with the promise of heaven. Yet, when I see others have more, enjoy more, and command more, I turn towards God, shake my fist, and wail at him. I too, continue to trust in him solely based on the principle of it all...but I really dont like living for Christ. I DO IT, because it is RIGHT, but I do not feel or have love for Jesus. I do it on the principle of truth. Sometimes, when I look at my life, I look at Jesus, and wonder if I was truly right in following him. Of course, the answer is YES, YOUR SAVED, but some days, I'd rather trade him for $200 million USD. Bless you for your faith. If I could love the LORD like you do, I'd probably be a happy man.

"What have you sacrificed for God's sake?" would be my first question. The reason I ask that is because I have only gained from Him and never lost ground-ever!. And I, like you, have followed God over my years in durations of length to understand the cross we pick up and carry daily as well; the cost to serving My Lord and King. Yet, still I have only gained it all and never lost anything. Why do I have this opinion and you do not, having served the same God? I think we can explore those answers as you answer that first question.

God is not wanting you to give away anything but one thing: your whole life, so the other question, that would have a marketable concern here is.. "what exactly is your life's value before Christ?" Many other issues follow in way of that question as well, such as;" what potential to Joy can you get apart from God?" Not happiness, but joy and peace. There are many happy sinners, until they die, but that is no trade off for sin sake is it? 100 years of sinful happiness for an eternity of hell fire and separation from hope?? What gain is there in that? "Where does a man profit if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"

But the Character of God is that we should not only have Salvation but that we have life more Abundantly here as well, even despite Gods charge of service.. John 10:10. He goes on to mention, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me with all of your heart."

Now in that verse the obvious answer is you will prosper, but the subtle point is He serves us first so as to seek with all your heart to find Him {the real prize!}. The subtle point to humans is the last part, the real point to God is the value in the result to that...Knowing Him.. In that, then, it is our changed understanding God invests in us that notices what is of "Real Spiritual Value" in our own hearts and minds in the process of a renewed transformed lifestyle in His Spirit. So my next question is" why are you not in full Joy over your life in the Lord? And what dreams over- rule Gods blessings, that you have sacrificed? Now, this is an issue God will be apart of changing in you thru His Spirit I believe.

The truth is we can give nothing of value to God that benefits Him in a need He has save one thing, Our devotion and surrender in honoring His glory. The Pharisees had the attitude of, "Look God we have done all this sacrificing for you in our Obedience to your law, you owe us now!" Gods response was deliberate and basically said He owes man nothing, but has chosen to gift man with His only begotten Son to benefit man. "Do you see Jesus in your life as a benefit?" "Or is the credit to your service the benefit?" It is Jesus Christ that is now the measure of our Joy, not just God's Joy, and not the desires of original sin.. There is a mistake in there if you feel otherwise. And God wants to work that out with you...

Now when you say, "You may reconsider..." This comes off as a threat almost to me. But what can you do to threaten God? "God can not be mocked, what a man sows so shall he reap!" Time to reevaluate things at His feet, I believe. Is the short-lived victory, that has no peace or Joy in it, really the better thing you had to sacrifice?!

God will never hunt you down to force you to obey, and you speak of the lack of your will power, having to surrender it to God, again sacrificially. Yet, God has never altered the power of your will in the walk He calls us to in Christ Jesus, in fact, He strengthens it. And He will never take away you ability to chose sin again, if that be your wills command, for love to remain viable. He has only asked you to use your will for His sake after first being loved by Him first!.

You are right in one thing however! You say it seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, you cannot command what you desire in life. The key to that sentence to me is the word 'desire' God says "If you remain in Me and my Words remains in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." So God is interested in the desires of your heart, but He is in the business of reconditioning our heart. To change our desires from within, to make His desires our own in a real sense, and not a pretentious walk of sacrifice. Otherwise we will want the desires of the world and flesh.

Ultimately, you state, "can you be a powerful leader for Christ." Yet, I discern you don't really understand where the power is in it. It is not in you, It is in Jesus Christ fully surrendered in you!, then God will prosper you and let you find Him. To make yourself His puppet is to gain life, purpose and power, to go after your own life is to be a useless puppet! The Word tells us that if we try to save our life we will lose it, but if we lose our life for His Name sake we will find it. When that happens you will be commissioned by Our Lord Jesus Christ with power you have yet to understand even!

Everything. I sacrificed everything. And did so by PERSONAL CHOICE. I still cant understand why. I like how you asked me "Why do I have this opinion and you do not, having served the same God?" This tells me you understand where I come from, and what I ASK MYSELF daily of other believers. I dont understand why you can tell me you have gained, and why I say he has taken, stolen from me, and left me climbing up an endless hill of dissapointment. I'd like to see things your way. I genuinely do, but I cant, because there are too many things that happened to me in life that makes me hate Jesus, even though I submit to him and give my life in service to him and the gospel.

I have given my life. My life is in his hands. Yet, even through this, I make demands of him. I tell him what I am ok and not ok with. I tell him what I will and what I wont do. I look at my life, the undesirable people that tend to gravitate towards me, the crap jobs I tend to get, the fruitless lifestyle I'm forced to live, and I threaten God: "If you cant change this, I'm stabbing you in the back and turning traitor on you. I dont need you force-feeding me a crap life for your son's sake". YET, I submit regardless, because he is God, and I'm a human, and he can do as he pleases, and some people he blesses, and some people he piles crap on, like myself. AND THAT is the truth. I will never turn against God. I will never disobey him. But I hate living for Jesus. I hate my life. I hate how nothing happens. I hate how I cant do a thing to fix the world. I cant do anything, because God is God, and that's the end truth of it all. Anything else...leads to hell, and I dont want to add hellfire to an already lowly existence under the cross.

The bible promises abundant life in addition to salvation. WHERE IS IT? I have been losing money left and right, and yet I tithe 10% of my check, EVEN BEFORE MY BILLS, CREDITORS, AND EXPENSES, to the LORD. I pray every morning for the day to be blessed, so I can be a blessing to others, and I get crap piled on me. Can you tell me what's so abundant about the aformentioned nonsense? John 10:10, as far as I'm concerned, is a load of crap, in my opinion, as are many other biblical promises I put my faith in at one point. I'd like to say it's true, but if I get pain instead of 'abundant life', I will call you and scripture liars unless you show me it's real.

To address your next question: why are you not in full Joy over your life in the Lord? And what dreams over- rule Gods blessings, that you have sacrificed? , did you not think that I sought the LORD to experience the biblical joy? I was looking for joy, peace, and wisdom...I GOT NONE OF IT. I've been following Jesus for 7 years, and not one of those seven years...have I ever witnessed or experience ANYTHING the bible promised me, and YET I REMAIN FAITHFUL IN SEARCHING FOR IT. I'm getting real sick and tired of it all. I'm getting REAL sick and tired of it. I will keep going, because I HAVE SEEN GOD WORK IN PEOPLE'S LIVES. JESUS IS REAL. GOD IS REAL. Yet, I get crapped on all the time by God, and I dont know why. My dream was to be a teacher of successful living...financially, spiritually, physically, mentally...and to be an example on how to set the world right. I am NOWHERE near that dream, even though I poured all my faith towards it, hoping God would allow me to glorify him through it. WRONG.

I now live on BORDERLINE RUIN. Any emergency will financially wipe me out. If I break any bone in my body, I am saddled with tens of thousands in debt. If my car crashes, I lose my business and my ability to work will be limited immensely. How do you expect me to trust the LORD? How CAN I? He can fix everything in the blink of an eye, but does nothing as evil permeates the lives of the faithful. How can you see him as profit? I dont understand most of you. Either you've sold yourselves short enough to enjoy God, you dont mind your current life, or perhaps YOU TRULY HAVE experienced the LORD. I dont know or care at this point.

Jesus was the gift God sent, apparently...a sacrifice of HIMSELF to save mankind. Some of you cry tears of joy over that. I honestly dont care. What exactly did Jesus accomplish for mankind? What sins were we saved of? Did you look at the news recently? SIN IS RAMPANT. IT MULTIPLIED. WORLD GOVERNMENTS RUN ON SIN. What, exactly, did Jesus Christ accomplish? Can anyone honestly tell me? I spoke, believed, and trusted that Jesus' death on the cross saved me from my sinful nature. I believed in it. I follow Christ, even so begrudgingly, but why do I talk like this with you here? Why are my words the words of an enemy of Christ, and not one of his saved ones? Why do I show hate? Why cant I share love, affirmation, joy, peace, and blessing? Why cant I show love to the LORD? Why cant I commune with you all? Do you think I WANT to type or speak these things? I came to Christ for peace. Instead, I received NOTHING AT ALL. Yet I still pursue him, and chose to live my life according to scripture as best as possible. I go to Church, tithe, and give of myself to others. What does God want? What was my loyalty and commitment amounting to?

Yet I know better. God is mighty and amazing. He rules the world. He created everything. He is the LORD of LORDS; the LORD of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. He is the beginning and the end...who cares what I think. If he treats me like crap, then I guess he knows what's he's doing. I can cut him loose and live my own life and go to hell...or, I can stick by him, live hell now, and inherit the promise of eternal life. EITHER WAY, IT SUCKS.

I can choose to follow, or leave. I follow, because it is the only true way. There has to be a finish line. I know the story of the prodigal son. I KNOW GOD'S LOVE. Yet, I never seen it. To me, God being a God of LOVE is a FAIRY TALE from my perspective. It isn't real for me, because I do not equate God with LOVE. I equate God with LOSS. I dont understand you guys. How can you say God is LOVE?

I will keep moving forward, because there has to be a finish line. There HAS TO BE.

Poor You!

Have a look at Col 3 (all, but esp. v23,24) as you obviously have a "tunnel view" of liberty in the Spirit (2Cor 3v17)

Yahweh Shalom

I read it. It's kind of hard for the LORD to ask that from me when he hasn't given me much to love him with. I'll do my best, and give it 100%, and pray for help to do so, but I think it would be difficult to gain a person's love and loyalty if you ask him to live a certain way, and you dont even give that person as much as a speck of lint for incentive. Just my opinion, though.

You say, I have submitted to Christ etc. You have a spiritual blindness about yourself and others, about what is important, how you connect with others, and what life and love actually are. You see walking with Jesus as being other than the world, but not that the things in the world are Gods blessing and there to be used for good things.

Wealth, power, sex, food, houses etc are meaningless without context. Jesus wants people who love from the heart, who are empowered by His spirit to see needs and meet them.

The picture you paint is of someone following after Jesus because you know he is the way, but you do not yet have the "life" within. Jesus promise was to give us streams of living water. You have dreams, ambitions etc. but have you yet seen these are as much illusions as the wealth you see in the world as desirable. You are valuable as you are today, and you are worthy, a glorious work of Gods hand. Gods heart is that you put this into action, and out of this dreams and ambitions will flow. Look at the apostles and prophets of old. Look at how they lived and what inspired them. That is life and life eternal, but it is a narrow path, and not easy.

Is it worth it? There is nothing else like it, literally, because this is life eternal, this is the creator of the universe, this is love in action, this is the cross and the power of God. Look at how satan tempted Christ after his baptism.

There is a price to this walk, but also a real reward, relationships that can never be broken, love that is deeper than the deepest sea and reality as pure as the clearest stream. Take heart, there is so much more to this than you have yet experienced.

I will agree...perhaps I am blind in some areas of the faith. I dont want to be blind, but many times, God actually makes it HARDER for me to tolerate him enough to not want to be blind.

And yes, I will also agree...my heart is blackened and bittered. While I make a conscious effort to identify the needs of others in my life, I inevitably turn to Christ and go "You want me to help people in your name, but when's the last time you helped ME out in the same way?" (The cross doesn't count in THIS context).

You hit the nail on the head...I know he is the way for sure, but I cannot understand what this 'life' in me is supposed to be, or if I even have it. You understand where ALL of the above came from within me. I take my dreams and ambitions, and they are REAL for me. They MEAN something to me. They MOTIVATE me. I look to the LORD, and see him trying to DESTROY them all for his preference, and I do not trust him to give me a life I would appreciate or like. I dont want his option. Oftentimes, his options for people's lives suck, and arent worth much, from my experience. If I want surf-and-turf filet mignon/chilean seabass, why would God try to offer me 12 day old soggy crackers and expect me to want to follow him for that? I dont want soggy crackers, EVER. I want the best. You should too.

If I truly am valuable, in God's image, born and created a winner...why does life suck? Why do evil people run the show? Why cant I break into corporate staffing at any of the jobs I had? Why cant I find the girlfriend/wife I desire? Why do I have no money? If I was truly God's child...why does my life resemble a ragged prisoner? That, to me, is unacceptable.

Listen, I will continue to have faith. Those 'nice' things you mentioned at the end of your post, that Christians who stick it out experience...I'm more likely to believe Unicorns, Fairy dust, and jackelopes exist than God being able to be good to me.




That ALL being said...I do want to know God's love. I wouldn't be here if I didnt.

My second question is, what is your opinion of what I typed? Can you relate? Do you know someone who went through what I shared? Am I truly an oddball? Is God good?

...but, I guess...can any of you relate to what I communicated? I assure you I'm not a bad guy. I just play hardball with God, and I need 2+2 to equal 4...I need EVERYTHING GOOD he promised in scripture to come true.

 

[Willie-T]

Funrider,
Thank you! That first paragraph just about doubled-over both my wife and me, laughing at the irony of your words.

 

[Luckysmyle]

I can't imagine how hard this journey feels to you, as you can tell many of us on here have experienced God's love. But when I look at my own journey with God the days I felt his love the most had nothing to do with material things. Things like being able to drive home through the mountains in the sun after my grandfather's funeral. I know that probably doesn't sound significant, but it was a time of year that normally the roads are horrible and it is overcast all the time.

I don't know the magic words to be able to show you God's love, but I am willing to talk with you here to see if I can help. I would be interested to hear the story of how you became a believer and what your journey with God has looked like in more detail.

 

[Funrider]

Willie T - You can piss right off. I dont need people like you acting ignorant on a serious subject. Perhaps we both believe in the same Christ...doesn't mean I have to tolerate your crap. You dont like it...ignore the post and dissapear. Simple.

I can't imagine how hard this journey feels to you, as you can tell many of us on here have experienced God's love. But when I look at my own journey with God the days I felt his love the most had nothing to do with material things. Things like being able to drive home through the mountains in the sun after my grandfather's funeral. I know that probably doesn't sound significant, but it was a time of year that normally the roads are horrible and it is overcast all the time.

I don't know the magic words to be able to show you God's love, but I am willing to talk with you here to see if I can help. I would be interested to hear the story of how you became a believer and what your journey with God has looked like in more detail.

Totally. I know 95% of you, for some reason I cannot comprehend or understand, experience God's love. I cant relate to that. To me, God isn't a God of love...he's mostly an annoying inconvenience who gets in my way when I try to advance in life. He isn't so much a father to me as he is a nuisance. Again, most of my prayers and conversations with the LORD are one-sided...I rely on my sense and awareness of the holy spirit to tell me what to do. Intuition and sense, if it makes sense. I do not know a loving God who cares. I cannot say God is kind. I do not know if he is or not. All I know is...God created everything, and IS everything.

I've driven through the Adirondack mountains, witnessed the Texas desert landscape, watch the NYC skyline, beheld many wonderful spectacles and amazements, and while I splendored it, it didnt change the fact that, while I was trying, and still try, to take in the wonderments of life, I have bills to pay, mouths to feed, teams to lead, work to get done, and a LORD who could give less of a crap to help me try to make ends meet.

I appreciate your willingness to hear me out. If I may, I am willing to speak with you on a positive, forward move. As to how I became a believer...I dont even care to remember at this point. I've become so bitter and disillusioned with Christ, I cant care for his death on the cross, or living for him. Most times, I want to pummel and bash Jesus' face in just to vent my frustration. But it was a sincere seeking. I did want to know Christ, and I do know Christ, and for the most part, even though I've seen the truth, I am greatly dissapointed in the result.

//-------------------------------

It's a long story. I will tell you this: The reason I sought Jesus was to learn the truth of existence. I sought truth. I sought, NOT the false light, but the ABSOLUTE, BOTTOM LINE truth. I didn't want to pursue Freemasonry, the occult, or any other spiritual direction that would lead to Luficer and the false light. I wanted the ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

I found the absolute truth in Christ...and it sucks. The truth is...we are all sinners. Nothing could set us right from original sin...the eating of the fruit of all knowledge from Adam and Eve...thus, the LORD sent Jesus Christ, who was born of divine nature, to come onto the Earth...so he could die for our sins. Basically, the LORD sent HIMSELF in Christ Jesus...to die for us and pay the eternal price for our sinful nature. Through Jesus, we are set free from eternal captivity in hell, to live with God for all eternity, after our physical existence ceases.

At first, I was JOYED. Eternity in Christ...saved from hell. I rejoiced. I was happy. I was free. Then, LIFE HIT. REALITY HIT. SATAN HIT.

Then...I discovered the TRUTH in addition to the truth: Outside of the cross, the LORD cant help you. Money problems? Oh well. Child committed suicide after praying in Jesus' name? Tough luck. Car broke down? Give thanks you're still alive. Home forclosed? At least you have family.

ALL you gain, in Christ, is the paid price for your sins: Forgiveness and eternity with the LORD. I suppose, when we die, it's all worth it.

Some of you accept this and are happy. I cannot understand you. I want more.

The BOTTOM LINE TRUTH of Christ...is that once you're saved, that's it. It's done. No more help for you. No more goodness. If you were born in poverty, debt, disease, or any other bad situation, sorry. Tough crap. God cant seem to help you. You get JESUS. Be happy you at least get SOMETHING.

That's who I perceive God to be. As of right now, I'm in a very, very, very nauseating position.

Do I continue to live in Christ, and resign myself to a life where I cant ever get what I want, and I have to take the crap God gives me

OR

Can I become a leader, have wealth, and be able to design my life and construct a God-pleasing lifestyle in Christ.

Dont answer that question. It's rhetorical. But, I do ask this: Why is Jesus enough for you? What ELSE can there be?

 

[PeterJens]

I want the best. You should too.

You do not know Jesus or know what is the best. The best in the way you are describing things is purely in the world of carnal appreciation, stimulation of the senses to produce the best response.

Now children learn early in their lives this is just a childish view of life. The price for this kind of experience is often socially too great, and the greed you are expressing causes massive suffering. I have no right to expect anything because I am a sinner, and the creator King only gives as He deems willing. If He gave me rights to sit and enjoy such pleasures, only then am I allowed to presume.

If you have seen what greed and privilege does to humans it would make you physically sick. It has lead to the worst attrocities and justifications, for instance the holocaust, or the massacre in Rwanda.

Now that fact you do not understand these basic realities of life, I have zero confidence this is anything but fake.
Jesus was tempted by Satan, 1. Turn this rock into food, because your are hungry 2. Test God, because he has commanded angels to look after you. 3. Worship me, because I can give you wealth and power.

Now read Jesus's response. The way you are talking they are a mystery to you, so your heart is very far from His.
This defines who you are following and why.

You will stand before the King, and your response will be to tell Him to piss off. This is the worlds response to righteousness and love, because they see it only as obligation to being nice, and a massive sacrifice of the sin they would rather be doing.

That is the foolishness of the world and why it is doomed to hell, to be burnt up and destroyed because it has no eternal value.

 

[Pilkington]

I am really sorry things haven't turned out the way you would have liked or expected. I don't want to give you a shallow answer. God has not promised us an easy life. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want". Philippians 4:12 This is the apostle Paul speaking his life was not easy he experienced having plenty and not enough and we can expect to experience the same.

I am praying that you experience the love the God in a way which is more real to you. Some of the times when I have felt closest to God and experienced his love is when I have been going through the toughest times. Like when my son was born early. I didn't know if he would live or die and was grateful for everyday we had. He is now 8 however if he had dies I would have just been thankful for however much time we had.

As others have said the most amazing gift we have is salvation. "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners" Romans 5:8. Our deepest need is reconciliation with God and the only way we can be reconciled with God is though Jesus dying and paying the penalty for our sins. "This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." 1 John 4:10. Nothing can change God's love for us.

The Bible does tell us about evil people prospering but that is a consequence of living in a fallen, sinful world, however we will all face judgement in the end.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:38

God's plan's for our lives may not be what we expect but I will be praying that you are aware of His love and the direction he wants you to go.

 

[Learis]

Ive felt like this as well. Its due to a lack of obedience, we get tired of doing his will and it produces discouragement. If we commit to growing his kingdom, glorifying his name by submitting to him, there can be no defeat, opposition yes, but not defeat nor despair. Christ faced opposition but was never defeated. In the garden, the night before crucifixion, he asked god if it were possible for the cup to pass to another, he was terrified of what he had to endure, he knew the wrath of God his father was going to crush him, grind him into dust. When he said to God, thy will be done and not mine, the strength and valor he needed came to him. By submitting fully, victory was assured. Doing our will only brings frustration. His will is costly, it demands more and more faith and obedience as we progress, but it brings nothing but victory.

 

[wolfwint]

See, I wish I could live that simply. I wish I could settle with the promise of heaven. Yet, when I see others have more, enjoy more, and command more, I turn towards God, shake my fist, and wail at him. I too, continue to trust in him solely based on the principle of it all...but I really dont like living for Christ. I DO IT, because it is RIGHT, but I do not feel or have love for Jesus. I do it on the principle of truth. Sometimes, when I look at my life, I look at Jesus, and wonder if I was truly right in following him. Of course, the answer is YES, YOUR SAVED, but some days, I'd rather trade him for $200 million USD. Bless you for your faith. If I could love the LORD like you do, I'd probably be a happy man.


[/FONT][/B]

Everything. I sacrificed everything. And did so by PERSONAL CHOICE. I still cant understand why. I like how you asked me "Why do I have this opinion and you do not, having served the same God?" This tells me you understand where I come from, and what I ASK MYSELF daily of other believers. I dont understand why you can tell me you have gained, and why I say he has taken, stolen from me, and left me climbing up an endless hill of dissapointment. I'd like to see things your way. I genuinely do, but I cant, because there are too many things that happened to me in life that makes me hate Jesus, even though I submit to him and give my life in service to him and the gospel.

I have given my life. My life is in his hands. Yet, even through this, I make demands of him. I tell him what I am ok and not ok with. I tell him what I will and what I wont do. I look at my life, the undesirable people that tend to gravitate towards me, the crap jobs I tend to get, the fruitless lifestyle I'm forced to live, and I threaten God: "If you cant change this, I'm stabbing you in the back and turning traitor on you. I dont need you force-feeding me a crap life for your son's sake". YET, I submit regardless, because he is God, and I'm a human, and he can do as he pleases, and some people he blesses, and some people he piles crap on, like myself. AND THAT is the truth. I will never turn against God. I will never disobey him. But I hate living for Jesus. I hate my life. I hate how nothing happens. I hate how I cant do a thing to fix the world. I cant do anything, because God is God, and that's the end truth of it all. Anything else...leads to hell, and I dont want to add hellfire to an already lowly existence under the cross.

The bible promises abundant life in addition to salvation. WHERE IS IT? I have been losing money left and right, and yet I tithe 10% of my check, EVEN BEFORE MY BILLS, CREDITORS, AND EXPENSES, to the LORD. I pray every morning for the day to be blessed, so I can be a blessing to others, and I get crap piled on me. Can you tell me what's so abundant about the aformentioned nonsense? John 10:10, as far as I'm concerned, is a load of crap, in my opinion, as are many other biblical promises I put my faith in at one point. I'd like to say it's true, but if I get pain instead of 'abundant life', I will call you and scripture liars unless you show me it's real.

To address your next question: why are you not in full Joy over your life in the Lord? And what dreams over- rule Gods blessings, that you have sacrificed? , did you not think that I sought the LORD to experience the biblical joy? I was looking for joy, peace, and wisdom...I GOT NONE OF IT. I've been following Jesus for 7 years, and not one of those seven years...have I ever witnessed or experience ANYTHING the bible promised me, and YET I REMAIN FAITHFUL IN SEARCHING FOR IT. I'm getting real sick and tired of it all. I'm getting REAL sick and tired of it. I will keep going, because I HAVE SEEN GOD WORK IN PEOPLE'S LIVES. JESUS IS REAL. GOD IS REAL. Yet, I get crapped on all the time by God, and I dont know why. My dream was to be a teacher of successful living...financially, spiritually, physically, mentally...and to be an example on how to set the world right. I am NOWHERE near that dream, even though I poured all my faith towards it, hoping God would allow me to glorify him through it. WRONG.

I now live on BORDERLINE RUIN. Any emergency will financially wipe me out. If I break any bone in my body, I am saddled with tens of thousands in debt. If my car crashes, I lose my business and my ability to work will be limited immensely. How do you expect me to trust the LORD? How CAN I? He can fix everything in the blink of an eye, but does nothing as evil permeates the lives of the faithful. How can you see him as profit? I dont understand most of you. Either you've sold yourselves short enough to enjoy God, you dont mind your current life, or perhaps YOU TRULY HAVE experienced the LORD. I dont know or care at this point.

Jesus was the gift God sent, apparently...a sacrifice of HIMSELF to save mankind. Some of you cry tears of joy over that. I honestly dont care. What exactly did Jesus accomplish for mankind? What sins were we saved of? Did you look at the news recently? SIN IS RAMPANT. IT MULTIPLIED. WORLD GOVERNMENTS RUN ON SIN. What, exactly, did Jesus Christ accomplish? Can anyone honestly tell me? I spoke, believed, and trusted that Jesus' death on the cross saved me from my sinful nature. I believed in it. I follow Christ, even so begrudgingly, but why do I talk like this with you here? Why are my words the words of an enemy of Christ, and not one of his saved ones? Why do I show hate? Why cant I share love, affirmation, joy, peace, and blessing? Why cant I show love to the LORD? Why cant I commune with you all? Do you think I WANT to type or speak these things? I came to Christ for peace. Instead, I received NOTHING AT ALL. Yet I still pursue him, and chose to live my life according to scripture as best as possible. I go to Church, tithe, and give of myself to others. What does God want? What was my loyalty and commitment amounting to?

Yet I know better. God is mighty and amazing. He rules the world. He created everything. He is the LORD of LORDS; the LORD of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. He is the beginning and the end...who cares what I think. If he treats me like crap, then I guess he knows what's he's doing. I can cut him loose and live my own life and go to hell...or, I can stick by him, live hell now, and inherit the promise of eternal life. EITHER WAY, IT SUCKS.

I can choose to follow, or leave. I follow, because it is the only true way. There has to be a finish line. I know the story of the prodigal son. I KNOW GOD'S LOVE. Yet, I never seen it. To me, God being a God of LOVE is a FAIRY TALE from my perspective. It isn't real for me, because I do not equate God with LOVE. I equate God with LOSS. I dont understand you guys. How can you say God is LOVE?

I will keep moving forward, because there has to be a finish line. There HAS TO BE.



I read it. It's kind of hard for the LORD to ask that from me when he hasn't given me much to love him with. I'll do my best, and give it 100%, and pray for help to do so, but I think it would be difficult to gain a person's love and loyalty if you ask him to live a certain way, and you dont even give that person as much as a speck of lint for incentive. Just my opinion, though.



I will agree...perhaps I am blind in some areas of the faith. I dont want to be blind, but many times, God actually makes it HARDER for me to tolerate him enough to not want to be blind.

And yes, I will also agree...my heart is blackened and bittered. While I make a conscious effort to identify the needs of others in my life, I inevitably turn to Christ and go "You want me to help people in your name, but when's the last time you helped ME out in the same way?" (The cross doesn't count in THIS context).

You hit the nail on the head...I know he is the way for sure, but I cannot understand what this 'life' in me is supposed to be, or if I even have it. You understand where ALL of the above came from within me. I take my dreams and ambitions, and they are REAL for me. They MEAN something to me. They MOTIVATE me. I look to the LORD, and see him trying to DESTROY them all for his preference, and I do not trust him to give me a life I would appreciate or like. I dont want his option. Oftentimes, his options for people's lives suck, and arent worth much, from my experience. If I want surf-and-turf filet mignon/chilean seabass, why would God try to offer me 12 day old soggy crackers and expect me to want to follow him for that? I dont want soggy crackers, EVER. I want the best. You should too.

If I truly am valuable, in God's image, born and created a winner...why does life suck? Why do evil people run the show? Why cant I break into corporate staffing at any of the jobs I had? Why cant I find the girlfriend/wife I desire? Why do I have no money? If I was truly God's child...why does my life resemble a ragged prisoner? That, to me, is unacceptable.

Listen, I will continue to have faith. Those 'nice' things you mentioned at the end of your post, that Christians who stick it out experience...I'm more likely to believe Unicorns, Fairy dust, and jackelopes exist than God being able to be good to me.




That ALL being said...I do want to know God's love. I wouldn't be here if I didnt.

My second question is, what is your opinion of what I typed? Can you relate? Do you know someone who went through what I shared? Am I truly an oddball? Is God good?

...but, I guess...can any of you relate to what I communicated? I assure you I'm not a bad guy. I just play hardball with God, and I need 2+2 to equal 4...I need EVERYTHING GOOD he promised in scripture to come true.[/COLOR]

Dear funrider, Jesus loves you and he is at work on you, i suppose otherwise you would not be here.
Trusting Jesus means also love him. It seems you are trusting God, because of not going to hell. I seems to me you have Jesus not in your heart. Many christians suffering in this world because the worl hates Jesus Christ. Many christians living in poor condition. Does this means that he loves them less. We have no promise of a life in health, wealth and without any problems. It is easy to trust the Lord if anything is right. Our faith will be proofed when we come in problems.
Even in your / our badest condition when we are his children GOD loves us and he will carry us through. I dont know HIS plan for you. His plan may different than yours. one thing comed in my mind. A leader should be
first a good servant. Do you have Jesus in your heart?
The Lord may bless you!

 

[wolfwint]

PS: read Psalm 73, it seems that asaf had the same trouble

 

[JesusLives]

Sounds like the love is missing in what you are doing..... What you are afraid to go to hell and so you serve Jesus/God? I believe when we come to the realization that we deserve nothing because as the human race we sinned and our wages due are death. He could have just zapped us out of existence but He didn't... Why?

Because God loves us and when one comes to the understanding of just how deep that love is He has for us it then becomes a joy to serve God and we do so out of love for Him.... We learn to love Him because He first loved us.

What? You are a little sad because some humans have more than you do? A better house, job, wife, more money? These are material things that can be taken away in a moment as your life can be gone in a moment...But who is the one that keeps your heart beating? Who provides you with air to breath and water to drink and food to eat?

God didn't promise us a pain free stress free life but He did promise to walk that life with us when we submit ourselves to Him and repent realizing that we have need of Him as our Savior.... You're only in your twenties and you have a bit of growing up to do... Be very thankful you found Him early in life and do what I have been trying to do the last few years of my life which is to really learn how to love God and show my love to Him. Because the reality is that We owe God everything and He owes us nothing.

 

[kaylagrl]

Im waiting to see if the OP is serious about what he is saying... Will be reading responses.

 

[passing_through]

Willie T - You can piss right off.

When one reacts in the flesh as you have done, it signifies that one is not yielded to the Holy Spirit. So, we all know you now.

 

[dalconn]

God didn't put a ball and chain on you, He took it off. Don't let the devil destroy what God has given you! Now, spread your wings and go in His love, be sure to spread His message as you pursue the dreams and inspirations that HE put in your heart and mind.

John 10:10
~The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 

[LanceA]

Hi folks.

I've stuck by Christ, in submission and will, for almost 6.5 years already (In May 2016, it will be 7 years walking with Christ). I'm at a point where I am fully in submission to him, even though some days I hate it.

I'd like to have a mature, non-biased discussion on living with Christ. I hope I can accomplish this with you.



I will post in bits and pieces. It will take a whole volume of books to cover the questions I, and likely you, have about Jesus and the walk in faith by scripture. I will say this...I do not sugarcoat. You will not like some things I say or suggest. I bring the bare bones out of the Christian struggle. I advise you to come with an open sense of discernment in the holy spirit. I will offend some of you by accident. Forgive me in advance.



Maybe at the start of this...conversation between us, whomever you are, it will be mild and cheerful. I will be open and transparent, though. I invite you to do the same.


So, why am I reaching out here? Well...to be perfectly honest, I dont know. I'm not sure if this is a good investment of my time. Can I find my spiritual answers here, or am I merely digging for answers again, from an empty well?

Walking in Jesus has been a blessing, a peaceful journey, and a spiritual relief. The wickedness I am observing on all angles disgusts me, and I feel that, as a Christian, I cant do a damn thing to fight the enemy that is destroying Christianity, the free enterprise system of the United States Of America, and everything that is good with life.

Listen, people can do whatever they want. If they want to seek Jesus or not, it's their choice. I recommend they seek Jesus, but that's where a problem I have lies...to give your life to Jesus, is to basically choose to forefeit your worldy desires, and accept a crappy life where nothing gets done...but, you have Jesus. I have accepted this.

Walking with Christ, I have experienced peace, joy, and understanding. Sometimes, I could really really care less. I look at nice homes, BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, trust funds, real estate investments, nice clothes, timeshares, comfort, enough money to never have to work a job...and then I look at Jesus...and realize how much life sucks.

I know the truth, and it's worth more than gold, but let me be real folks...sometimes, I question whether Jesus is truly worth it. The extent of my 'relationship' with him is mostly one-sided. Some days, it's like I talk to myself, and cannot acknowledge Jesus even caring. For the most part, it's up to me to get things done. Honestly, when it comes to personal achievement, I tend to accuse God the father of being a little more than useless in any endeavor. Yet, I give thanks to him, even when the day is crap, for I am still alive.

The first thing I want to ask is...can I expect much out of life being submitted to the will of Christ? Do I even have any right to succeed? I have goals and dreams, but if the price involves me giving them up for the sake of God's will, I may reconsider. I've forced myself, at this point, to be fully submissive to God, but I still want that power and choice to control. It seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, I cannot command what I desire in life. Can I be a powerful Christian leader, or does me giving my life to Jesus reduce me to a useless puppet?

Not really sure where to start. Why do you feel God is controlling you? Being in a relationship with the Lord has nothing to do with control. God doesn't want us to be unhappy and burdened like you are. Christians can still go and have fun, see movies, go out to eat, play in the park, go on dates etc... It is when these extra activities takes away from our relationship with the Lord. When my wife and I go out with our son I see these times as opportunities to possibly talk to someone about Jesus or maybe while in line waiting to pay for popcorn God might put it on my heart to pay for someone else's because they really don't have the money to buy any. If we keep ourselves secluded from the rest of the world then we aren't following Jesus's command to preach the Gospel and make disciples.

As Christians we are going to be sad and even mad at God from time to time. So I guess I'm not seeing why you are living as a hermit or even more closely like a Monk. Christians should be happy because of the promise of eternal life. We should be happy because we have a loving father who actually cares about what happens to us. We should be happy because God blesses us with children and gives us this awesome mission to share the Gospel to millions of people who don't know Him.

The way you make yourself sound is, you know of Jesus but you truly don't know Him.

 

[MadParrotWoman]

Hi folks.

I've stuck by Christ, in submission and will, for almost 6.5 years already (In May 2016, it will be 7 years walking with Christ). I'm at a point where I am fully in submission to him, even though some days I hate it.

I'd like to have a mature, non-biased discussion on living with Christ. I hope I can accomplish this with you.



I will post in bits and pieces. It will take a whole volume of books to cover the questions I, and likely you, have about Jesus and the walk in faith by scripture. I will say this...I do not sugarcoat. You will not like some things I say or suggest. I bring the bare bones out of the Christian struggle. I advise you to come with an open sense of discernment in the holy spirit. I will offend some of you by accident. Forgive me in advance.



Maybe at the start of this...conversation between us, whomever you are, it will be mild and cheerful. I will be open and transparent, though. I invite you to do the same.


So, why am I reaching out here? Well...to be perfectly honest, I dont know. I'm not sure if this is a good investment of my time. Can I find my spiritual answers here, or am I merely digging for answers again, from an empty well?

Walking in Jesus has been a blessing, a peaceful journey, and a spiritual relief. The wickedness I am observing on all angles disgusts me, and I feel that, as a Christian, I cant do a damn thing to fight the enemy that is destroying Christianity, the free enterprise system of the United States Of America, and everything that is good with life.

Listen, people can do whatever they want. If they want to seek Jesus or not, it's their choice. I recommend they seek Jesus, but that's where a problem I have lies...to give your life to Jesus, is to basically choose to forefeit your worldy desires, and accept a crappy life where nothing gets done...but, you have Jesus. I have accepted this.

Walking with Christ, I have experienced peace, joy, and understanding. Sometimes, I could really really care less. I look at nice homes, BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, trust funds, real estate investments, nice clothes, timeshares, comfort, enough money to never have to work a job...and then I look at Jesus...and realize how much life sucks.

I know the truth, and it's worth more than gold, but let me be real folks...sometimes, I question whether Jesus is truly worth it. The extent of my 'relationship' with him is mostly one-sided. Some days, it's like I talk to myself, and cannot acknowledge Jesus even caring. For the most part, it's up to me to get things done. Honestly, when it comes to personal achievement, I tend to accuse God the father of being a little more than useless in any endeavor. Yet, I give thanks to him, even when the day is crap, for I am still alive.

The first thing I want to ask is...can I expect much out of life being submitted to the will of Christ? Do I even have any right to succeed? I have goals and dreams, but if the price involves me giving them up for the sake of God's will, I may reconsider. I've forced myself, at this point, to be fully submissive to God, but I still want that power and choice to control. It seems that, as someone who follows Jesus, I cannot command what I desire in life. Can I be a powerful Christian leader, or does me giving my life to Jesus reduce me to a useless puppet?

You say you are in total submission to Christ - you go on to prove otherwise by your words. You say the relationship you have with Him is "one sided" - sure it is, Jesus died for you, He died to set you free yet you feel restricted, incarcerated, what exactly have you done for Him? You still crave worldly treasures and are clearly resentful you don't possess them. you do not come across as a disciple of God - I'm sorry if this seems a little harsh but you wanted honest.

Are you being real here or is this another hoax thread?