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L
Honestly I am pretty appalled by most of the responses here.
John 15:12-14English Standard Version (ESV)
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
The OP has come here seeking the love of Christ that you all claim to know, but by many of the responses I wonder how many of you will find Jesus saying He never knew you.
That makes perfect sense, that's how God leads most people. Very few people claim that they have ever gotten an audible word from God.
Just like the Holy Spirit nudging us seeing God in these situations isn't always obvious. I have so many situations in my life that on the outside look like another trial, but looking closer I can see God's hand at work. Driving through the same mountains a few months later my car started making noise, nothing major but enough to take it in soon as I got home. It was out of oil (new thing, not overdue for an oil change) but they happened to notice my rad hose was in rough shape. From there I drove around to find the part and then to my sister's to park it and borrow a vehicle. When my BIL changed my rad hose he said it had a 5" slit, as far as we can tell it happened as I pulled into their yard. Had that (or my engine) blown while in the mountains with no cell service I would have been in serious trouble.
I have seen many Christians who have it all.
One of the things I have noticed (and is talked about by Jesus) is that God doesn't give us much until we can be faithful with little. Reading your posts I am concerned that you put so much value in monetary wealth that it would destroy you at this point of you were to receive it.
John 15:12-14English Standard Version (ESV)
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
The OP has come here seeking the love of Christ that you all claim to know, but by many of the responses I wonder how many of you will find Jesus saying He never knew you.
That makes perfect sense, that's how God leads most people. Very few people claim that they have ever gotten an audible word from God.
Just like the Holy Spirit nudging us seeing God in these situations isn't always obvious. I have so many situations in my life that on the outside look like another trial, but looking closer I can see God's hand at work. Driving through the same mountains a few months later my car started making noise, nothing major but enough to take it in soon as I got home. It was out of oil (new thing, not overdue for an oil change) but they happened to notice my rad hose was in rough shape. From there I drove around to find the part and then to my sister's to park it and borrow a vehicle. When my BIL changed my rad hose he said it had a 5" slit, as far as we can tell it happened as I pulled into their yard. Had that (or my engine) blown while in the mountains with no cell service I would have been in serious trouble.
I have seen many Christians who have it all.
One of the things I have noticed (and is talked about by Jesus) is that God doesn't give us much until we can be faithful with little. Reading your posts I am concerned that you put so much value in monetary wealth that it would destroy you at this point of you were to receive it.
Funrider...some would dub you as having the "DOUBTING THOMAS" condition, the "SHOW ME FIRST" complex! I honestly think that if you were joined to a true holy spirit filled congregation that invited and allowed the Holy Spirit to be part of the worship service, you would begin to not only sense His presence, but see just how the Holy Spirit moves and works in His own children. True praise and worship is where you find the holy spirit inhabiting. We see NO mention of that in your comments. What I do see is more like a business transaction...I give something and expect something in return policy. In your case, a boring non-inclusive man made form of 'religious worship" will not be the right thing for you in your present state of mind. IT would not fulfill your expectations. However, a true, down home body of CHRISTIAN believers, in one accord, full of the holy spirit, ready and willing to follow what HE has in store, will find it a total joy to meet, to greet, to sing, praise, shout, react to HIs WORD, be healed, move and not worry about a time frame, makes it all worth while! lol
You believe in yourself you deserve more than the blessing your already have.
Fundamentally you do not believe you are a sinner and deserve to die. You rail against God, you are angry things have been so unfair and you deserve privilege above your fellow man.
This is so uncaring of those around you, and so self centred, it is exactly the same sin Satan fell into and wanted to exalt himself above God.
So you are a joker, 100%, and you are neither being honest with yourself or us.
Do you deserve to die or to have eternal life?
My story is I know I have failed to do that which I wanted, and to respect those I should respect and honour, and if left to myself would wallow in sin and death until it destroyed me and those around me. So I know Jesus is above me is all things, and I am humbled and grateful for His mercy through the cross, and His transformation of my soul.
Until you have likewise discovered yourself, you will always be on the outside, railing against the injustice of not getting your desires because you deserve everything you desire because you are actually your own god, and who should dare deny you.
Fundamentally you do not believe you are a sinner and deserve to die. You rail against God, you are angry things have been so unfair and you deserve privilege above your fellow man.
This is so uncaring of those around you, and so self centred, it is exactly the same sin Satan fell into and wanted to exalt himself above God.
So you are a joker, 100%, and you are neither being honest with yourself or us.
Do you deserve to die or to have eternal life?
My story is I know I have failed to do that which I wanted, and to respect those I should respect and honour, and if left to myself would wallow in sin and death until it destroyed me and those around me. So I know Jesus is above me is all things, and I am humbled and grateful for His mercy through the cross, and His transformation of my soul.
Until you have likewise discovered yourself, you will always be on the outside, railing against the injustice of not getting your desires because you deserve everything you desire because you are actually your own god, and who should dare deny you.
F
Time pushes forward again. I just lost my job. It was a temporary employment agreement, but still, I cant help but feel like, if I'm going to make it to the top, I'm on my own, and God aint gonna help.
And I've decided...I will continue to push forward in Christ, and put all the nonsense aside. I can state my grievances, but that wont fix the problem. Life still revolves in a circle, and I still must identify my mission in Christ. I still must do the work to push forward. This is life. I can push with my might, but God isn't going to help me. That's just how it is.
I will now look back and fairly reply to those who cared to reply to me (Thank you. May you be blessed in Jesus for giving your time to respond. May he bless you and your families).
kaylagrl: I am here, I am listening, and I am very appreciative of the post you shared, and your sincerity. Thank you.
As for everyone else, It's a battle. We ALL go through it, but perhaps God is the rock upon which we can rest. I'm still waiting on God to reveal his glory to me. I have ceased and stopped all anger against him. It's no use. I cannot win threatening him, so I must WIN by taking action. Money may not be happiness, but let's be REAL...REAL...REAL...'REAL'...for a second, and admit that we ALL need money and resources to live. It is a FACT. I dont care what you say: If you dont pay the bills, you'll be thrown in prison, and worship the LORD in the jail chapel while being threatened by gang members. THAT IS REAL. Keep that in mind.
I will keep pressing to seek Christ more. As I said, I lost my job. I am unemployed, scrambling for unemployment. I can blame God for making me hang on the fringe wire for survival, or I can get proactive and win at life anyway. As I press for Christ, perhaps I will understand truth better. I will not settle for 2nd place. I was born to win, and I shall.
Maybe I need to pray more than I ever have. This statement came to mind:
Fine. I belong to Christ. I do not control a thing. Whatever. Spiritual truth is spiritual truth. I must put on the mind of Christ. I'm already on the brink of financial ruin. Might as well get it over with.
If I pray enough, and get in tune with the LORD, perhaps the mind of Christ will manifest, and my mission can be made clear. I hope all of you reading have a Godly mission to pursue as well.
So taking my eyes off myself and putting them on others will allow me to connect with God. Fine. I will be selfless and focus on serving others. What choice do I have at this point?
God is love. Alright. Fine. Perhaps, as I'm letting go of the rage, I will see what you all mean. The scriptures prove HE IS THE LORD. It's all over Paul's letters. It came out of the words of Jesus himself. Why would scripture be wrong? Then again, when your money is being siphoned out to the pockets of demonic collectors, how can one maintain composure?
When I stated I felt cheated and ripped off, I really do still feel that way. I cannot recall any time in my life God threw me a bone and helped me out. All I know is pain and resentment. The details of my life...summed up, because it would take an 80 page booklet to illustrate my life story so far...
...are all rooted in loneliness, sorrow, pain, muted gray overtones, misery, and struggle. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. Some of you can relate. MY PROBLEM...is that where some of you found God...I found a tyrant who never cared.
Where you found hope in Jesus, I found my biggest obstacle. Where you found a savior, I found a ball-and-chain around my ankle. Where you found the son of God, I found the weakest force in the universe.
My anger was by my lack of growth...lack of achievement...lack of enjoyment...lack of satisfaction...lack of a childhood...lack of friends...lack of romance with lovely women...and every time I look at the sky, I see Jesus smiling, as if he's happy with my lack of loss. That's what 'I' saw, personally. I wanted to breathe fire at that sky.
That example of Jesus being a prisoner...taking my place on death row...I think to myself "I am not a bad person. You say I was born condemned? Is this some kind of mock trial?". I didn't see a need for me to be saved. I was a kind person. Yes, I was born into sin, but who's the real criminal here...Adam and Eve for eating the fruit, or GOD for making the tree accessible in the first place? I still havent received a satisfactory answer from anyone, from prayer, or from research.
A lot of martyrs were killed for Christ. There must have been SOME reason they died in faith. 11 of the 12 apostles were killed like dogs in his name. What drove them to be so faithful? Is it neuroplasticity? Programming? Faith? Trickery? Stupidity? I cant even tell.
I give and give and give, and I am STILL STUCK IN SQUARE ONE? What does the LORD want? What do I have to give him to appease him? Tithes, volunteer hours at church, talking with new people...WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? Im still broke, I'm still trying to find a career, and Im still lonely. What gives, and why should I care?
Job 38-42 still impacts me, even in my resentment and rebellion. I read it almost every week. God can do EVERYTHING. He can clean up the mess. He can reverse all bad things. He doesn't. People suffer, and I'm convinced he's watching everything unfold on the world eating popcorn on his throne in heaven. I know I'm wrong, but it feels that way.
Corrie Ten Boom was a powerful woman. Her service was a testament to the faith...yet, why does God allow a Hitler to kill six million Jews? It still doesn't make sense to me. I look at God, and my blood boils at his negligence. That's my problem, because God is good regardless, but I cannot say that without wanting to breathe fire or spit acid in anger and disgust.
...I can choose to serve God, and I probably will at this point, forgetting my angst. Gotta bloom where we're planted. If I'm planted in the ghetto garden of hell, I still have to blossom there, while others bloom in the nice woodland neighborhoods, or even the rich estates. I was born and raised in the streets. Understand there is NO EASY WAY TO PRAISE GOD growing up in a derelict ghetto environment. Try living in the hood. Try it. See if your life doesn't get clouded in dark smoke.
But I will rejoice. Rejoicing can make it easier. I will heal the wound, even thought GOD MADE THE WOUND TO BEGIN WITH. Fasting helps too.
To close, Luckysmyle, thanks for being a pal. I knew someone would understand. In fact, one thing you mentioned impacted me emotionally:
I have also met Christians who have it all...even to the point where...(i will never mention names)...but one man, who is an ordained deacon, makes more money personally in his business holdings a year than most top-tier hedge funds generate in a decade.
Being faithful with little to receive much...I guess I have work to do. God has told me in prayer that until he KNOWS that I will faithfully love him more than any worldy achievement I could ever imagine or desire, he wont give me a penny. Honestly, I look at that and see an impossibly tall order. How can I ever get to that point? What's the process?
To close, folks, I've decide...I am going to take a different approach and be gentler and more temperate. My goal here...is to find the path to lead me to Christ 100%. I know of him, and I believe in his death and ressurection, but he is not in my heart. I hold a spirit of violence and anger that eats at me.
So far, it's becoming clearer: Take my eyes off myself, put them on others, and love God more than the world. I WILL COMMIT TO THAT, even though I have no job now.
Third question: What does God want from people? When does a person get blessed? What does God want first?
And I've decided...I will continue to push forward in Christ, and put all the nonsense aside. I can state my grievances, but that wont fix the problem. Life still revolves in a circle, and I still must identify my mission in Christ. I still must do the work to push forward. This is life. I can push with my might, but God isn't going to help me. That's just how it is.
I will now look back and fairly reply to those who cared to reply to me (Thank you. May you be blessed in Jesus for giving your time to respond. May he bless you and your families).
kaylagrl: I am here, I am listening, and I am very appreciative of the post you shared, and your sincerity. Thank you.
As for everyone else, It's a battle. We ALL go through it, but perhaps God is the rock upon which we can rest. I'm still waiting on God to reveal his glory to me. I have ceased and stopped all anger against him. It's no use. I cannot win threatening him, so I must WIN by taking action. Money may not be happiness, but let's be REAL...REAL...REAL...'REAL'...for a second, and admit that we ALL need money and resources to live. It is a FACT. I dont care what you say: If you dont pay the bills, you'll be thrown in prison, and worship the LORD in the jail chapel while being threatened by gang members. THAT IS REAL. Keep that in mind.
I will keep pressing to seek Christ more. As I said, I lost my job. I am unemployed, scrambling for unemployment. I can blame God for making me hang on the fringe wire for survival, or I can get proactive and win at life anyway. As I press for Christ, perhaps I will understand truth better. I will not settle for 2nd place. I was born to win, and I shall.
Maybe I need to pray more than I ever have. This statement came to mind:
VioletReigns said:
The reality is, you are a prisoner of Christ (Eph 3:1 - Eph 4:1) No man comes to God unless He calls him. Your struggle is not with anything but your flesh warring against the truth. Your carnal (logical, ego) mind is lying to you. It can't receive from God. You must put on the mind of Christ. That is, you must give up your "wisdom" and analytical thinking (ego, flesh) and realize that you're fighting a losing battle. It is finished. You belong to God.
If I pray enough, and get in tune with the LORD, perhaps the mind of Christ will manifest, and my mission can be made clear. I hope all of you reading have a Godly mission to pursue as well.
So taking my eyes off myself and putting them on others will allow me to connect with God. Fine. I will be selfless and focus on serving others. What choice do I have at this point?
God is love. Alright. Fine. Perhaps, as I'm letting go of the rage, I will see what you all mean. The scriptures prove HE IS THE LORD. It's all over Paul's letters. It came out of the words of Jesus himself. Why would scripture be wrong? Then again, when your money is being siphoned out to the pockets of demonic collectors, how can one maintain composure?
When I stated I felt cheated and ripped off, I really do still feel that way. I cannot recall any time in my life God threw me a bone and helped me out. All I know is pain and resentment. The details of my life...summed up, because it would take an 80 page booklet to illustrate my life story so far...
...are all rooted in loneliness, sorrow, pain, muted gray overtones, misery, and struggle. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. Some of you can relate. MY PROBLEM...is that where some of you found God...I found a tyrant who never cared.
Where you found hope in Jesus, I found my biggest obstacle. Where you found a savior, I found a ball-and-chain around my ankle. Where you found the son of God, I found the weakest force in the universe.
My anger was by my lack of growth...lack of achievement...lack of enjoyment...lack of satisfaction...lack of a childhood...lack of friends...lack of romance with lovely women...and every time I look at the sky, I see Jesus smiling, as if he's happy with my lack of loss. That's what 'I' saw, personally. I wanted to breathe fire at that sky.
That example of Jesus being a prisoner...taking my place on death row...I think to myself "I am not a bad person. You say I was born condemned? Is this some kind of mock trial?". I didn't see a need for me to be saved. I was a kind person. Yes, I was born into sin, but who's the real criminal here...Adam and Eve for eating the fruit, or GOD for making the tree accessible in the first place? I still havent received a satisfactory answer from anyone, from prayer, or from research.
A lot of martyrs were killed for Christ. There must have been SOME reason they died in faith. 11 of the 12 apostles were killed like dogs in his name. What drove them to be so faithful? Is it neuroplasticity? Programming? Faith? Trickery? Stupidity? I cant even tell.
I give and give and give, and I am STILL STUCK IN SQUARE ONE? What does the LORD want? What do I have to give him to appease him? Tithes, volunteer hours at church, talking with new people...WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? Im still broke, I'm still trying to find a career, and Im still lonely. What gives, and why should I care?
Job 38-42 still impacts me, even in my resentment and rebellion. I read it almost every week. God can do EVERYTHING. He can clean up the mess. He can reverse all bad things. He doesn't. People suffer, and I'm convinced he's watching everything unfold on the world eating popcorn on his throne in heaven. I know I'm wrong, but it feels that way.
Corrie Ten Boom was a powerful woman. Her service was a testament to the faith...yet, why does God allow a Hitler to kill six million Jews? It still doesn't make sense to me. I look at God, and my blood boils at his negligence. That's my problem, because God is good regardless, but I cannot say that without wanting to breathe fire or spit acid in anger and disgust.
...I can choose to serve God, and I probably will at this point, forgetting my angst. Gotta bloom where we're planted. If I'm planted in the ghetto garden of hell, I still have to blossom there, while others bloom in the nice woodland neighborhoods, or even the rich estates. I was born and raised in the streets. Understand there is NO EASY WAY TO PRAISE GOD growing up in a derelict ghetto environment. Try living in the hood. Try it. See if your life doesn't get clouded in dark smoke.
But I will rejoice. Rejoicing can make it easier. I will heal the wound, even thought GOD MADE THE WOUND TO BEGIN WITH. Fasting helps too.
To close, Luckysmyle, thanks for being a pal. I knew someone would understand. In fact, one thing you mentioned impacted me emotionally:
I have also met Christians who have it all...even to the point where...(i will never mention names)...but one man, who is an ordained deacon, makes more money personally in his business holdings a year than most top-tier hedge funds generate in a decade.
Being faithful with little to receive much...I guess I have work to do. God has told me in prayer that until he KNOWS that I will faithfully love him more than any worldy achievement I could ever imagine or desire, he wont give me a penny. Honestly, I look at that and see an impossibly tall order. How can I ever get to that point? What's the process?
To close, folks, I've decide...I am going to take a different approach and be gentler and more temperate. My goal here...is to find the path to lead me to Christ 100%. I know of him, and I believe in his death and ressurection, but he is not in my heart. I hold a spirit of violence and anger that eats at me.
So far, it's becoming clearer: Take my eyes off myself, put them on others, and love God more than the world. I WILL COMMIT TO THAT, even though I have no job now.
Third question: What does God want from people? When does a person get blessed? What does God want first?
F
6 years ago. At a friend's house in NJ. He and his mother were pastors. I was helping them out with their preschool. The mother overhead me mention I felt Jesus around me, but not in me. She told me to speak that he died on the cross for my sins, was ressurected, and defeated death, and set mankind free. I said it, believed it...and I felt from that day forward, I was fully saved, and embraced the truth of Christ.
I didn't get a chance to reach my pastor yet. I will give him a call.
Applying for jobs. No answers yet. God can make it ALL happen for me, but I wont hold my breath. He doesn't need to bless anyone, yet it would be nice if he did. Maybe God will cut me a break and allow me to be hired to a better position. Let's see what occurs.
I didn't get a chance to reach my pastor yet. I will give him a call.
Applying for jobs. No answers yet. God can make it ALL happen for me, but I wont hold my breath. He doesn't need to bless anyone, yet it would be nice if he did. Maybe God will cut me a break and allow me to be hired to a better position. Let's see what occurs.
F
I expected freedom. Freedom from sin. The opportunity to walk with Jesus and do everything right. Resistance from sin. Growth in virtue. Becoming a better person. Gaining a power in true righteousness to do all things in Christ's name, through the wisdom of the holy spirit.
I was expecting to walk with Jesus to pursue a mission in life. I thought he would guide me to keep me away from sinning. I thought he would help me forward...allow me an opportunity to work hard and sustain myself...to build relationships in Christ...to pursue a God-given dream...to improve all areas of life.
So far, NOTHING like that occured. I am still running in circles, and it almost seems as if God doesn't exist when I speak to him. I go on faith, but nothing comes from it. I came to God to be able to be made right. So far, nothing much has changed. I expected a transformation. For SIX YEARS, nothing happened. I never experienced a change. I never felt a new redemption come over me.
For six years, my life got WORSE. Instead of peace, I was angry. Instead of joy, I would curse and yell at God for YEARS. Instead of worshipping him, I throw out two bibles after spitting in them, kicking them on the ground, and asking why scripture was a BLATANT LIE in my life.
I cannot say, with confidence or integrity, that Jesus is good. I would be lying to you from my perspective. I can SAY he is, but I cannot say it with firm belief, because inside my heart, I see him as a powerless dissapointment. His death did nothing for me, even though I professed my belief in salvation by the cross. What salvation? My life is still crap.
Sin is still rampant. Are you going to tell me he defeated sin, when SIN HAS BEEN MAGNIFIED EXPONENTIONALLY SINCE HIS DEATH? Moresoever, I had to take the brunt of pain and suffering since I was a kid...and you want me to give my LIFE FOR HIM?
Does that even seem remotely fair? If a cruel landlord charges maximum rent to you (or if you still live with your parents, your parents), harasses you, denies you relief...or if you have a boss that demands an unfair workload for low wages, and asks for your complete faith, how would you feel trusting that person?
That's who God the father is to me: The cruel landlord...the unfair boss...the tyrannical president...the overseer slavemaster. And I have to give to him or suffer more.
I was expecting to walk with Jesus to pursue a mission in life. I thought he would guide me to keep me away from sinning. I thought he would help me forward...allow me an opportunity to work hard and sustain myself...to build relationships in Christ...to pursue a God-given dream...to improve all areas of life.
So far, NOTHING like that occured. I am still running in circles, and it almost seems as if God doesn't exist when I speak to him. I go on faith, but nothing comes from it. I came to God to be able to be made right. So far, nothing much has changed. I expected a transformation. For SIX YEARS, nothing happened. I never experienced a change. I never felt a new redemption come over me.
For six years, my life got WORSE. Instead of peace, I was angry. Instead of joy, I would curse and yell at God for YEARS. Instead of worshipping him, I throw out two bibles after spitting in them, kicking them on the ground, and asking why scripture was a BLATANT LIE in my life.
I cannot say, with confidence or integrity, that Jesus is good. I would be lying to you from my perspective. I can SAY he is, but I cannot say it with firm belief, because inside my heart, I see him as a powerless dissapointment. His death did nothing for me, even though I professed my belief in salvation by the cross. What salvation? My life is still crap.
Sin is still rampant. Are you going to tell me he defeated sin, when SIN HAS BEEN MAGNIFIED EXPONENTIONALLY SINCE HIS DEATH? Moresoever, I had to take the brunt of pain and suffering since I was a kid...and you want me to give my LIFE FOR HIM?
Does that even seem remotely fair? If a cruel landlord charges maximum rent to you (or if you still live with your parents, your parents), harasses you, denies you relief...or if you have a boss that demands an unfair workload for low wages, and asks for your complete faith, how would you feel trusting that person?
That's who God the father is to me: The cruel landlord...the unfair boss...the tyrannical president...the overseer slavemaster. And I have to give to him or suffer more.
Have you understood what love is? Have you understood what sin is? Do you actually love anyone in your life or has anyone loved you?
I ask these questions because you sound like a man with no reference points, literally lost in the language but nothing works or makes sense. I can help you, if you have the language, but I am not sure you are actually interested.
I ask these questions because you sound like a man with no reference points, literally lost in the language but nothing works or makes sense. I can help you, if you have the language, but I am not sure you are actually interested.
A small point about walking with Jesus.
Does God really love us or is he just playing games?
It all depends on are we innocents or strangers?
Do we fail or are we given a task we can never achieve so it is all unfair?
If you believe God is just playing games, we are innocents and the task is impossible so we are a victim, it all appears like a sick joke.
If on the other hand God does love us, we are strangers with him and guilty of our failure, then things are very different.
You cannot see Jesus until you see the last reality. It is all a mess until these things fit into place.
This is the meaning of being born again, walking in the Kingdom, and all the people of God share this perspective.
If you do not see things this way, you do not know Jesus, but it does not mean you cannot meet Him, it is just everything he has come to say, you deny and rebel against. That is why judgement is coming and those found not written in the book of life will be destroyed, because when you see God face to face, unless you love Him, there is no place for you.
It is the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin, and those who are chosen hear His voice.
Does God really love us or is he just playing games?
It all depends on are we innocents or strangers?
Do we fail or are we given a task we can never achieve so it is all unfair?
If you believe God is just playing games, we are innocents and the task is impossible so we are a victim, it all appears like a sick joke.
If on the other hand God does love us, we are strangers with him and guilty of our failure, then things are very different.
You cannot see Jesus until you see the last reality. It is all a mess until these things fit into place.
This is the meaning of being born again, walking in the Kingdom, and all the people of God share this perspective.
If you do not see things this way, you do not know Jesus, but it does not mean you cannot meet Him, it is just everything he has come to say, you deny and rebel against. That is why judgement is coming and those found not written in the book of life will be destroyed, because when you see God face to face, unless you love Him, there is no place for you.
It is the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin, and those who are chosen hear His voice.
L
I guess one thing that really helped me was deciding what to focus on. I understand that life is hard, my circumstances aren't much different than yours. I'm single, out of work, have a mortgage and a child. While I can't say I know everything you are going through, I just want you know it is possible to feel His love even when things look bleak on the outside.
Try looking for the blessings no matter how small in all situations. It is a hard habit to get into, but where I used to be depressed and seen no light at the end of the tunnel, I now find joy. The more I make a point of finding the good the more I have been able to find.
I think God has already been blessing you, I just don't think you have been able to see it since it hasn't happened the way you want it to. It sounds like you expect Him to act like a fairy godmother, but I have found He normally works through nudges of the Holy Spirit, other people and removing things from your life. For me I was having a hard time with the music I listened to. I had been a bar star for years and while I was able to give up on going out quite easily I was addicted to the music. So shortly after I prayed about it my stereo in my car went, I was commuting an hour and a half either way for work at that time. Really didn't seem like a blessing. Two years later (5 mechanics later) it was found to be a fuse, I was so excited to get my music back. After flicking through the radio and my old cds I found I couldn't stand any of my old music anymore. I could write you a novel about all the times that I have seen God working on my life like that.
Try looking for the blessings no matter how small in all situations. It is a hard habit to get into, but where I used to be depressed and seen no light at the end of the tunnel, I now find joy. The more I make a point of finding the good the more I have been able to find.
I think God has already been blessing you, I just don't think you have been able to see it since it hasn't happened the way you want it to. It sounds like you expect Him to act like a fairy godmother, but I have found He normally works through nudges of the Holy Spirit, other people and removing things from your life. For me I was having a hard time with the music I listened to. I had been a bar star for years and while I was able to give up on going out quite easily I was addicted to the music. So shortly after I prayed about it my stereo in my car went, I was commuting an hour and a half either way for work at that time. Really didn't seem like a blessing. Two years later (5 mechanics later) it was found to be a fuse, I was so excited to get my music back. After flicking through the radio and my old cds I found I couldn't stand any of my old music anymore. I could write you a novel about all the times that I have seen God working on my life like that.
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V
I can relate to that statement. On top of getting counseling most of my adult life, the Holy Spirit has been ministering to me and renewing my mind about the image I had of God as a child. Due to the abuse and shame of my youth, I saw the Lord as an Angry Grimacing God and felt if He really loved me, He'd wave His magic wand and make everything perfect.
But He had something better in mind. He's perfecting me and healing my heart and mind. Above all else, He has become my most faithful Friend and my very personal Savior.
But He had something better in mind. He's perfecting me and healing my heart and mind. Above all else, He has become my most faithful Friend and my very personal Savior.
F
love
ləv/
noun
noun: love; plural noun: loves
1. An intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
2. Used to express affectionate approval for someone.
noun: a love
"don't fret, there's a love"
That's how I understand love. The TEXTBOOK DEFINITION. According to the online english dictionary, it's affection, approval, and a proud positive affinity towards something or someone. It's preference. It's positive joy towards something or someone. God loves us, therefore, God shows affection, approval, and a positive affinity towards those who love him. Or, those who love Jesus, and believe in his death, ressurection, and second coming.
And this is sin:
sin[SUP]1[/SUP]
sin/
noun
Sin is a misdemeanor. A falling short towards God. A failure to do good. Our NATURAL state, thanks to Eve and Adam, respectfully, for eating of the fruit of the tree of Good and evil.
PeterJens, I am interested in your help, if you're willing to offer it. Do not let my bluntness repel you. I just want to be as REAL and TRANSPARENT as possible. I owe it to everyone I speak to to communicate in absolute integrity, and I hope you can appreciate that. My words have stirred you negatively, it seems. Sorry about that. But I am open to considering your perspective. Perhaps it's one that can change my view on the LORD. Also, if I truly wasn't interested, would we be having this dialogue? ...
Originally Posted by PeterJens
If you believe God is just playing games, we are innocents and the task is impossible so we are a victim, it all appears like a sick joke.
If on the other hand God does love us, we are strangers with him and guilty of our failure, then things are very different.
I thought on this statement. Yeah, maybe I am a stranger with him. Maybe I deny and rebel against his word. If he was there with me six years ago, making himself aware to me in front of me back then, instead of making me go on a wild goose chase to find his presence and leaving me worse off, I would have no need to share what I am sharing right now. The God that I understand, is a deadbeat father who doesn't care. Obviously you and others see him differently. I see him as a distant figure who is taking care of his other children, and leaving me in the wilderness. Asking me to love the LORD like that is a very tall order, and one I am not willing to comply with unless he shows me his love towards me.
So, what has to get done? What do I have to do to get God's time and attention? Where is he? Does he even care? Should I even give him another second of my time? Do I even care if my name is written in his book? Am I insane, thinking he can talk to me? What's to hold me back from contacting a freemason, and pursuing all 33 degrees, while pursuing the mystic occult? I can get the results I'm looking for that way as well. Why keep having faith in a LORD who doesn't care to speak back to me?
Originally Posted by [URL="http://christianchat.com/member.php?u=230984"
Luckysmyle[/URL]]I just want you know it is possible to feel His love even when things look bleak on the outside.
I cant relate to that. You say it, and it HAS to be true, but I cannot say the same. What do I care of feeling his love when things get more bleak. To me, love is getting positive results, not waiting on a promise. I want to tell people God will see you through the suffering, not LIE TO THEM as everything they worked hard for gets siphoned away by the world while they're trying to trust in the LORD and wait on him to fix the evil problem they're dealing with.
I can CHOOSE to look for the blessings. That, I can CHOOSE to do and follow through on. And from what I've understood for research, when this becomes a habit, all is well. I'm going to commit to this. I will tell you right now, as I remain persistent in counting my blessings, God's going to find a way to screw it up and aggravate me. He always does.
Also,
...but I have found He normally works through nudges of the Holy Spirit, other people and removing things from your life.
This I can relate to. I've been nudged many a time. Other people come to me with scripture verses, warning signs, blessings, and other subjects. He has removed criminals, delinquents, moochers, opportunists, the ghetto, and other lowlives and negative situations from my life. Fair enough. I wont ask for more, but it would be nice to get access to more resources, and for him to bring me to, or bring to me, a GIRLFRIEND who is lovely, attractive, and not a creepy psychopath I have to reject.
Originally Posted by VioletReigns
I saw the Lord as an Angry Grimacing God and felt if He really loved me, He'd wave His magic wand and make everything perfect.
That's how I see him. "Angry Grimacing" is a NICER way to describe him compared to MY opinion of him.
But He had something better in mind. He's perfecting me and healing my heart and mind. Above all else, He has become my most faithful Friend and my very personal Savior.
I have a hard time believing your perspective. I'd LOVE to see things your way, but I just cant. I cannot see God that way. I want to, but with what occurs in my life, that will be a VERY UNLIKELY perspective for me to adopt. I dont understand why you see him that way. What has he done to help you, exactly?
ləv/
noun
noun: love; plural noun: loves
1. An intense feeling of deep affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
2. Used to express affectionate approval for someone.
noun: a love
"don't fret, there's a love"
That's how I understand love. The TEXTBOOK DEFINITION. According to the online english dictionary, it's affection, approval, and a proud positive affinity towards something or someone. It's preference. It's positive joy towards something or someone. God loves us, therefore, God shows affection, approval, and a positive affinity towards those who love him. Or, those who love Jesus, and believe in his death, ressurection, and second coming.
And this is sin:
sin[SUP]1[/SUP]
sin/
noun
- 1.
an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.
"a sin in the eyes of God"
[TABLE="class: cms_table_vk_tbl cms_table_vk_gy"]
[TR]
[TD="class: cms_table_lr_dct_nyms_ttl"]synonyms:[/TD]
[TD]immoral act, wrong, wrongdoing, act of evil/wickedness, transgression,crime, offense, misdeed, misdemeanor[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
Sin is a misdemeanor. A falling short towards God. A failure to do good. Our NATURAL state, thanks to Eve and Adam, respectfully, for eating of the fruit of the tree of Good and evil.
PeterJens, I am interested in your help, if you're willing to offer it. Do not let my bluntness repel you. I just want to be as REAL and TRANSPARENT as possible. I owe it to everyone I speak to to communicate in absolute integrity, and I hope you can appreciate that. My words have stirred you negatively, it seems. Sorry about that. But I am open to considering your perspective. Perhaps it's one that can change my view on the LORD. Also, if I truly wasn't interested, would we be having this dialogue? ...
If you believe God is just playing games, we are innocents and the task is impossible so we are a victim, it all appears like a sick joke.
If on the other hand God does love us, we are strangers with him and guilty of our failure, then things are very different.
I thought on this statement. Yeah, maybe I am a stranger with him. Maybe I deny and rebel against his word. If he was there with me six years ago, making himself aware to me in front of me back then, instead of making me go on a wild goose chase to find his presence and leaving me worse off, I would have no need to share what I am sharing right now. The God that I understand, is a deadbeat father who doesn't care. Obviously you and others see him differently. I see him as a distant figure who is taking care of his other children, and leaving me in the wilderness. Asking me to love the LORD like that is a very tall order, and one I am not willing to comply with unless he shows me his love towards me.
So, what has to get done? What do I have to do to get God's time and attention? Where is he? Does he even care? Should I even give him another second of my time? Do I even care if my name is written in his book? Am I insane, thinking he can talk to me? What's to hold me back from contacting a freemason, and pursuing all 33 degrees, while pursuing the mystic occult? I can get the results I'm looking for that way as well. Why keep having faith in a LORD who doesn't care to speak back to me?
Luckysmyle[/URL]]I just want you know it is possible to feel His love even when things look bleak on the outside.
I cant relate to that. You say it, and it HAS to be true, but I cannot say the same. What do I care of feeling his love when things get more bleak. To me, love is getting positive results, not waiting on a promise. I want to tell people God will see you through the suffering, not LIE TO THEM as everything they worked hard for gets siphoned away by the world while they're trying to trust in the LORD and wait on him to fix the evil problem they're dealing with.
I can CHOOSE to look for the blessings. That, I can CHOOSE to do and follow through on. And from what I've understood for research, when this becomes a habit, all is well. I'm going to commit to this. I will tell you right now, as I remain persistent in counting my blessings, God's going to find a way to screw it up and aggravate me. He always does.
Also,
...but I have found He normally works through nudges of the Holy Spirit, other people and removing things from your life.
This I can relate to. I've been nudged many a time. Other people come to me with scripture verses, warning signs, blessings, and other subjects. He has removed criminals, delinquents, moochers, opportunists, the ghetto, and other lowlives and negative situations from my life. Fair enough. I wont ask for more, but it would be nice to get access to more resources, and for him to bring me to, or bring to me, a GIRLFRIEND who is lovely, attractive, and not a creepy psychopath I have to reject.
I saw the Lord as an Angry Grimacing God and felt if He really loved me, He'd wave His magic wand and make everything perfect.
That's how I see him. "Angry Grimacing" is a NICER way to describe him compared to MY opinion of him.
But He had something better in mind. He's perfecting me and healing my heart and mind. Above all else, He has become my most faithful Friend and my very personal Savior.
I have a hard time believing your perspective. I'd LOVE to see things your way, but I just cant. I cannot see God that way. I want to, but with what occurs in my life, that will be a VERY UNLIKELY perspective for me to adopt. I dont understand why you see him that way. What has he done to help you, exactly?
L
Hopefully I don't offend you the way I cut and pasted your response, it was done to organize my answers.
But love is so much more than can ever be described in a dictionary. Just like a dictionary can never describe color to someone who has never seen, a feeling can only truly be understood by someone who has felt it.
We are God's children so I often equate His actions with one of a loving parent. I'm sure my son isn't feeling too loved right now as he just got grounded for skipping school, but as a parent I discipline him because I love him and want him to learn the proper way to succeed in life. But at the same time me not buying me anything he wants isn't discipline, but it is for his on good.
You say He is leaving you in the wilderness but then you say this...
That to me speaks of a parent who wants to see you succeed.
I'm glad you are willing to look for the blessings. I hope you give it a real chance, I know it can feel like God is against you when life just doesn't work the way we want, but the truth is what we want isn't always good for us.
I think as you start to find the blessings you will start to find the resources in them. As for a girlfriend, I think you should wait awhile. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it sounds like you have some healing to do before you can have a healthy relationship.
Do you actually believe what is written in the Bible? It sounds to me like you believe it in your head, but not yet in your heart. That's not something I know how to help you with, all I can tell you is that emotional knowledge comes to me in bits and parts and has come slowly over time.
Have you gotten to speak to your Pastor yet? As much as many of us here would like to help, I think you should talk to someone in person as well.
I think you have lived a hard life in a broken world, honestly I can see why you have a hard time trusting God. Right now you come off as a hard person, but that's what happens when life kicks you again and again. I don't think you are hard because you want to be, but simply because it is a defense mechanism. I wish I had all the right words to show you how much God loves you, because He does more than you will ever know.
But love is so much more than can ever be described in a dictionary. Just like a dictionary can never describe color to someone who has never seen, a feeling can only truly be understood by someone who has felt it.
We are God's children so I often equate His actions with one of a loving parent. I'm sure my son isn't feeling too loved right now as he just got grounded for skipping school, but as a parent I discipline him because I love him and want him to learn the proper way to succeed in life. But at the same time me not buying me anything he wants isn't discipline, but it is for his on good.
You say He is leaving you in the wilderness but then you say this...
That to me speaks of a parent who wants to see you succeed.
I'm glad you are willing to look for the blessings. I hope you give it a real chance, I know it can feel like God is against you when life just doesn't work the way we want, but the truth is what we want isn't always good for us.
I think as you start to find the blessings you will start to find the resources in them. As for a girlfriend, I think you should wait awhile. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it sounds like you have some healing to do before you can have a healthy relationship.
Do you actually believe what is written in the Bible? It sounds to me like you believe it in your head, but not yet in your heart. That's not something I know how to help you with, all I can tell you is that emotional knowledge comes to me in bits and parts and has come slowly over time.
Have you gotten to speak to your Pastor yet? As much as many of us here would like to help, I think you should talk to someone in person as well.
I think you have lived a hard life in a broken world, honestly I can see why you have a hard time trusting God. Right now you come off as a hard person, but that's what happens when life kicks you again and again. I don't think you are hard because you want to be, but simply because it is a defense mechanism. I wish I had all the right words to show you how much God loves you, because He does more than you will ever know.
Hello to life. I wish you well but you are a seriously disfunctional individual. My advice to you is you need to walk away from what your believe is faith and find yourself. You have spent your life and energy trying to become something you never can be. Until you find out who you really are there is no solution.
F
This conversation is coming to a close. I will close it off beginning here.
pwrnJC: Thanks for your commentary. It's nice to see such encouraging words coming from a fellow supposed Christian. I hope you receive the same treatment down the road.
Luckysmyle: I cant wait to share your perspective. Thanks for sharing all that. You truly know a loving LORD. I hope I can see him the same way.
PeterJens: ...I've got a lot of choice words for you, but I'm going to be brief. You took the opportunity to rip me to shreds, and you seem to view me as a joke. I would tell you I am serious, but it seems you see me as a fake Christian who doesn't know a thing about living right in Jesus. Think what you will. If God was truly good, I wouldn't be this "dysfunctional" monster you see presented before you.
I took time to reflect before reposting here. I asked some questions. The end result...is that I do not love Jesus. I do not love God. I cant take the bible seriously. I think it's all a trap to keep people from being all they can be. As I pursue my vision..my path...I begin to see God getting in my way.
God is an obstacle to me. He is a nuisance...an annoyance...an irritation...a source of frustration and agita. I believe if I didnt have Jesus, I could pursue my goals without any moral hindrance. You watch the evil and trouble this world faces, and I ask myself "What good did Jesus do?". I dont condone the evil...I hate it, but I also believe God does nothing to make it better. On one side, Satan is on the offensive, trying to hurt everyone. On the other end, when I look at God to save the suffering and those who endure pain, I dont see him do anything. I ask God to give me the ability and power to administer justice and love to the suffering, but instead, I have to deal with crap and crap and crap...bills and finances and occult leadership...
I often ask myself if I should even waste another second of my time pursuing Christ. I end up choosing yes...because of the truth of the matter. It's a bittersweet situation for me. I'd rather have money, power, and influence. To me, Christ is an anchor. When you hold him, he protects you from hell, but it's such a heavy burden, you move slow and sluggish, not producing much, and the world curses you.
Since I've never had a one-on-one with Jesus, and actually had a conversation with him, as some of you claimed to have done, I dont care for him. He's not so much a savior to me...as he is a corporate overseer. He simply serves as a source of irritation, anger, frustration, and agita.
While he may save me, and everyone else from sin, I feel he holds me back from being the greatest human I can be. I feel like, by living with Jesus and accepting him, I limit myself from fully achiveving my own existence.
This is who I am, if you wanted specifics. I guess this conversation is over. What I gained from this...was that I am empty, vengeful, and doing this Christian walk wrong.
I am beginning not to care anymore. I really dont care. At this point, I'm keeping my eyes open for self-advancement. I dont know why you all love Jesus. I dont know why you are ok with living a life of low achievement. For me, I just dont wanna deal with this anymore. I want to win. Yet, I know the truth.
The truth is Jesus. The truth hurts. The truth sucks. But it IS the truth.
Maybe ONE day, I will love Jesus like some of you do. Maybe one day, I'll see Jesus in a light of love and joy and thanksgiving.
That's the end for my bit. Do as you will. Some of you will NEVER UNDERSTAND WHERE I COME FROM. This is life.
The book of Ecclesiastes rings true..."All is vanity, like grasping for the wind".
I guess you all have a nice day now.
pwrnJC: Thanks for your commentary. It's nice to see such encouraging words coming from a fellow supposed Christian. I hope you receive the same treatment down the road.
Luckysmyle: I cant wait to share your perspective. Thanks for sharing all that. You truly know a loving LORD. I hope I can see him the same way.
PeterJens: ...I've got a lot of choice words for you, but I'm going to be brief. You took the opportunity to rip me to shreds, and you seem to view me as a joke. I would tell you I am serious, but it seems you see me as a fake Christian who doesn't know a thing about living right in Jesus. Think what you will. If God was truly good, I wouldn't be this "dysfunctional" monster you see presented before you.
I took time to reflect before reposting here. I asked some questions. The end result...is that I do not love Jesus. I do not love God. I cant take the bible seriously. I think it's all a trap to keep people from being all they can be. As I pursue my vision..my path...I begin to see God getting in my way.
God is an obstacle to me. He is a nuisance...an annoyance...an irritation...a source of frustration and agita. I believe if I didnt have Jesus, I could pursue my goals without any moral hindrance. You watch the evil and trouble this world faces, and I ask myself "What good did Jesus do?". I dont condone the evil...I hate it, but I also believe God does nothing to make it better. On one side, Satan is on the offensive, trying to hurt everyone. On the other end, when I look at God to save the suffering and those who endure pain, I dont see him do anything. I ask God to give me the ability and power to administer justice and love to the suffering, but instead, I have to deal with crap and crap and crap...bills and finances and occult leadership...
I often ask myself if I should even waste another second of my time pursuing Christ. I end up choosing yes...because of the truth of the matter. It's a bittersweet situation for me. I'd rather have money, power, and influence. To me, Christ is an anchor. When you hold him, he protects you from hell, but it's such a heavy burden, you move slow and sluggish, not producing much, and the world curses you.
Since I've never had a one-on-one with Jesus, and actually had a conversation with him, as some of you claimed to have done, I dont care for him. He's not so much a savior to me...as he is a corporate overseer. He simply serves as a source of irritation, anger, frustration, and agita.
While he may save me, and everyone else from sin, I feel he holds me back from being the greatest human I can be. I feel like, by living with Jesus and accepting him, I limit myself from fully achiveving my own existence.
This is who I am, if you wanted specifics. I guess this conversation is over. What I gained from this...was that I am empty, vengeful, and doing this Christian walk wrong.
I am beginning not to care anymore. I really dont care. At this point, I'm keeping my eyes open for self-advancement. I dont know why you all love Jesus. I dont know why you are ok with living a life of low achievement. For me, I just dont wanna deal with this anymore. I want to win. Yet, I know the truth.
The truth is Jesus. The truth hurts. The truth sucks. But it IS the truth.
Maybe ONE day, I will love Jesus like some of you do. Maybe one day, I'll see Jesus in a light of love and joy and thanksgiving.
That's the end for my bit. Do as you will. Some of you will NEVER UNDERSTAND WHERE I COME FROM. This is life.
The book of Ecclesiastes rings true..."All is vanity, like grasping for the wind".
I guess you all have a nice day now.
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L
Funrider I pray you continue to seek the answers you are searching for. I can understand hesitancy in sharing any more personal details in a public forum where people want to judge everything you say without ever truly knowing you. You had mentioned making a plan to meet with your pastor, I hope you follow through with that as he maybe able to offer you some real hope.
I know you must feel judged by all of us on this thread and I want you to know at least from my part it was trying to discern where you are so we can help you.
I know you must feel judged by all of us on this thread and I want you to know at least from my part it was trying to discern where you are so we can help you.