BREAK UPS

[Jhong]

Blessed day! I'd say it depends on the emotional and time investments of the person: the deeper, the longer then getting-back-on-track will take more time (especially if there's a feeling of betrayal and trusting others thereafter will be quite harder for that person). Suggestion: better know the person inside-out before getting into a serious relationship. Godspeed!

 

[Rush]

Depends who's doing the breaking up.

- If you're breaking up with them, you're already prepared for the loss, the separation, because you've gotten to the point of wanting to end it. in you're heart you're already separated.
- If you're being broken up with, especially if you didn't see it coming, the loss and separation has a much harder edge to it because you still feel connection. There hasn't been any internal separation prior to the act of breaking up - it's more of a rip/tearing away.

I wouldn't say gender has much to do with it. Personality maybe, but mostly, it's just who's initiating the break up end least effected, who's being broken up with ends most effected. Not rocket science.

 

[JeniBean]

ALL relationships can be devastating if there is a separation. I do not feel gender plays a role in who moves on faster. Is it true that most woman tend to move on faster...yes...WHY??? Many need that self esteem knowing they are loved and desired by others. Some men I know are also like this. Also some people cannot be alone, making it appear they move on quicker. I wholeheartedly believe it depends the invested time and emotional connection. For example I made the mistake of dating someone who had been my best friend years prior to dating him. Total years as friends and then a boyfriend was 5 years. The devastation of losing the one person who I could trust and knew me like no other was hard. It is still hard. He had developed an addiction and moved on the next week with someone who shared his addiction. There is nothing I could do and he needed that connection with someone. I still haven't developed a close friendship like I had with him and I haven't been in a relationship. I date and find myself stepping back after the 3rd date, mostly because so many fall quick and say things like what are you doing the rest of your life? (happened this past weekend, after 2 dates) Talk about spooking someone away. Point is EVERYONE moves on at their own speed depending on what trial they went through.

 

[Rush]

ALL relationships can be devastating if there is a separation. I do not feel gender plays a role in who moves on faster. Is it true that most woman tend to move on faster...yes...WHY??? Many need that self esteem knowing they are loved and desired by others. Some men I know are also like this. Also some people cannot be alone, making it appear they move on quicker. I wholeheartedly believe it depends the invested time and emotional connection. For example I made the mistake of dating someone who had been my best friend years prior to dating him. Total years as friends and then a boyfriend was 5 years. The devastation of losing the one person who I could trust and knew me like no other was hard. It is still hard. He had developed an addiction and moved on the next week with someone who shared his addiction. There is nothing I could do and he needed that connection with someone. I still haven't developed a close friendship like I had with him and I haven't been in a relationship. I date and find myself stepping back after the 3rd date, mostly because so many fall quick and say things like what are you doing the rest of your life? (happened this past weekend, after 2 dates) Talk about spooking someone away. Point is EVERYONE moves on at their own speed depending on what trial they went through.

Jeni, you have such nice eyes, I think we should have coffee and discuss how many kids we want and potential baby names immediately... if it's a girl, I'm thinking Tiffany, or Bookcase... or maybe Hat, if it's a boy, definitely Jarlsberg! - just putting it out there, I'm already certain that we have so much in common

Not to derail the thread with sillyness, but I too wonder what possesses people during dates sometimes! Spooking people indeed. A woman told me she thought we were meant to be together after the second date.... yeah. Not much pressure there

 

[James4redemption]

Lol That first ones a doozy, ain't it!?

I remember being in middle school, my first year, broke up with a girl...whatever that meant at that age, and I was crushedddd. For like a week. After that it becomes a game of "liking girls......but not too much, cause' no ones gonna' make me feel that way again!" Ahhhh those adolescent years lol.

As for who moves on faster? I think that would be based on the individual. If one is ready to move on and the other isn't, guess who's going to be in a situation?

-Off topic, kinda:

All in all though, I wouldn't suggest getting involved with anyone unless they Love Christ more than they love themselves and you. That kind of selflessness, I believe would let you have a long lasting, meaningful relationship. I mean in troubling times, you would have 2 heads instead of one seeking wisdom and support from the most high. Now I may be naive in this regard, but someone who loves Christ more than they love themselves, more than they love their partner....I don't see how that person would ever seek another partner to begin with. But then again, we're all human at the end of the day...who knows if today is that day where John or Jane Doe choose themselves over God and their partner at that moment, and sever that relationship. So, even if you are the victim, you'll always have Jesus to look to. But knowing what I know about heartbreak, will that help? Not at first, but I think the True Faith would help you move on. No matter what though, you'll never know unless you take the chance. Just be wise about it.

 

[simplysweet]

Lol That first ones a doozy, ain't it!?

I remember being in middle school, my first year, broke up with a girl...whatever that meant at that age, and I was crushedddd. For like a week. After that it becomes a game of "liking girls......but not too much, cause' no ones gonna' make me feel that way again!" Ahhhh those adolescent years lol.

As for who moves on faster? I think that would be based on the individual. If one is ready to move on and the other isn't, guess who's going to be in a situation?

-Off topic, kinda:

All in all though, I wouldn't suggest getting involved with anyone unless they Love Christ more than they love themselves and you. That kind of selflessness, I believe would let you have a long lasting, meaningful relationship. I mean in troubling times, you would have 2 heads instead of one seeking wisdom and support from the most high. Now I may be naive in this regard, but someone who loves Christ more than they love themselves, more than they love their partner....I don't see how that person would ever seek another partner to begin with. But then again, we're all human at the end of the day...who knows if today is that day where John or Jane Doe choose themselves over God and their partner at that moment, and sever that relationship. So, even if you are the victim, you'll always have Jesus to look to. But knowing what I know about heartbreak, will that help? Not at first, but I think the True Faith would help you move on. No matter what though, you'll never know unless you take the chance. Just be wise about it.

awww.... thank you james... very well said. i like what you have said... i totally especially the part when you said that even if the person loves God, he still has a choice to choose God and the partner or not.... it's either the person choose to be like joseph or david when it comes to faithfulness in the relationship.... whatever it is, it is really comforting knowing that God is always faithful ^_^

 

[Nelly35]

Not necessarily. I was married 11 years and that divorce was way easier then the break up I'm going through right now and I was only with that guy for 15 months. It really depends on the sincere level of love and attachment you have to the other person.

 

[Little_Woman]

Hey guys! I want to know everybody's opinion on this. An article appeared on my newsfeed about break ups. I got curious since I have never been in love. After a break up, do women move on quickly than men or the other way around? Is it true that after the break up,men are left more devastated than women or the other way around? I am just curious.

I have never been in L0V3 too.

 

[Roh_Chris]

I think it depends on -

1) Who was the person who invested the most in the relationship (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.)?

2) Who saw it coming first?

It is not always the person who breaks-up who saw it coming. Sometimes, the person who initiated the breakup may have been forced to do so by the other person's behaviour. Let's say, A and B were in a love-hate relationship (kinda like the one Rihanna and Eminem croon about, in "Love the way you lie, Part 1"), where A was the abusive partner. After putting up with A for a loooong time, B finally decided to call it off. Neither does it mean that B was the first person who saw the breakup coming, nor does it mean that B would be the least affected between the two. It is possible that B may have broken up with A, and then spent a week or two crying over it.

Also, in the same context, merely because B was the one who brokeup with A, does not mean that B was the person who invested the least in the relationship. You see, that is why I mentioned my first point, because, in some relationships, the person who invested the most may also be the person who chose to walk away from it, but that does not mean they saw it coming.

All said, relationships are tricky and there is no failproof method to protect yourself from being hurt or from even hurting someone. We have got to understand and accept that, as humans, we are inherently messed up. No matter what our best intentions may be, there will be situations where we end up hurting the ones we love. All that we can do is to minimize the risk of such situations happening by looking out for red flags (inconsistent behaviour, flimsy standards, etc.) in the ones whom we fall for.

 

[shineyourlight]

It really doesn't matter what gender you are. It honestly all depends on who the person is. Typically, for anything, it tends to take me longer to get over things. If that means transitions or relationships, it's just hard. But, then there are moments when I get over situations super quickly.

Each person grieves differently and moves at a different pace. I know there was a guy I was best friends with for about two years, we dated, and when we broke up with each other, it took him years to get over me. But there have been other guys who got over me very quickly. There have been guys it took me a while to get over, while there have been others who I got over fairly quick.

So, as you can see, gender doesn't really matter in this case. It depends on the situation and it depends on the individual.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

I honestly never understand these kinda questions, like asking who takes being left worse between men and women. Why does everyone seem to refuse that both men and women fall in love, and feel feelings? Who is going around out there pushing this idea that only one half of the human race feels feelings and loves others?

This isnt an angry responses directed at the OP or anything like that I just mean in general, I see these questions like once a week on this site, and I honestly have no idea why people ask them Of course both men and women both have emotions and they can feel them intensely. Even God loves and weeps, the bible has multiple verses that He has, so it would make sense that He would give all His created children this as well


Asking who takes it harder, I guess that would be totally based on the situation. I have been taken the loss of a relationship pretty hard before, and I know other males who have as well. And I know some who didnt really even seem to mind. Im sure most women can say the same thing about other females they know as well It just depends on the person and the situation they are in, and who was more dedicated to the other and all that junk.
I dont believe it has anything to do with the gender youre given at birth, like someone else said, if we start basing all these things on gender, why not do it with race too?

 

[Learis]

break ups are tough business, especially when its been a very good relationship. but Christ consoles the broken hearts and vows to restore them if the owners seek him. thats been a great lesson for me, hard to learn but totally worth learning.

 

[MollyConnor]

What's funny it that we will never really know the answer to that since women can never be men and men can never be women.

But I think it just depends on the type of person they are, how long the relationship lasted and to what degree said person fell in love with the other. I don't think it has anything to do with gender...but like I said, we will never know...

 

[setapartgirl]

Like what they said here, it depends, by nature women are emotional, we love to vent it out, like 'i'm so hurt, depressed...etc blah blah" that's what we are, we do crazy stuffs most of the time, while men, most of them, they know how to hide their feelings well, even if they are hurting, they will not let the world see it, well..most of them.

It is also depends with the emotional and psychological status of the person, if you decided to move on and let go or stay depressed and helpless. In Love, there's no gender, if you are hurt, you are hurt, it's just that "mind over matter thing sometimes"

 

[Donkeyfish07]

What's funny it that we will never really know the answer to that since women can never be men and men can never be women.

I don't think Bruce Jenner got the memo

 

[MollyConnor]

I don't think Bruce Jenner got the memo

Bruce Jenner will always be a man...it doesn't matter what surgeries he gets lol.

 

[Tintin]

I refuse to call Brucey boy Caitlin.

 

[MollyConnor]

I refuse to call Brucey boy Caitlin.

Same here, Caitlin is a woman's name not a man's haha!

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Our society is so far gone on the gender spectrum. Like, here is a gender neutral statement for you. Men, you notice the lack of real feminine women around? So do I. Women, you notice the lack of real masculine men around? So do I.

I don't claim to be an embodiment of masculinity, but come on people......so many people are genuinely confused on which bathroom they need to use. Meesa going crazy in here

 

[PoetMary]

Our society is so far gone on the gender spectrum. Like, here is a gender neutral statement for you. Men, you notice the lack of real feminine women around? So do I. Women, you notice the lack of real masculine men around? So do I.

I don't claim to be an embodiment of masculinity, but come on people......so many people are genuinely confused on which bathroom they need to use. Meesa going crazy in here

I'm not sure it's useful to define everyone based on a handful of extreme examples. Homosexuals are like 1-3% of the population. Transgender folk are an even tinier percentage. Just because they get a lot media attention doesn't make it normative.

What I mean is, I know PLENTY of feminine women and masculine men. I'm not sure what the expectation is when people say that there's a lack of feminine women or a lack of masculine men. The vast majority of the women and men I encounter are feminine and masculine, respectively.