Can you love someone too much?
- Thread starter ManiaStar
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
But what if you had clear indication/direction from God stating that this is the person you are going to be with one day? That this person is going to be with you forever?
I had clear indication more then once but, we're not dating right now.
Inwardly, I feel the timing isn't right but also, it just hurts. Actually, I know the timing isn't right but....
I had clear indication more then once but, we're not dating right now.
Inwardly, I feel the timing isn't right but also, it just hurts. Actually, I know the timing isn't right but....
So then timing is key and you should seek the Lord on when, no? He can tell us stuff and yet there is timing involved as to when we are to put into practice what we were revealed. You know, when to implement it. 
I don't know how active you are to be in pursuing this person, but circumstance (directed by the Lord) will make it unfold if indeed the Lord revealed this person to you as 'the one'. Time will tell.
I don't know how active you are to be in pursuing this person, but circumstance (directed by the Lord) will make it unfold if indeed the Lord revealed this person to you as 'the one'. Time will tell.I don't want to go into the full story. But, my mom was talking to me and saying she always prays for me to find someone to marry. Someone I'll be happy with and who will take care of me. She repeated a few times exactly what she has been praying for. The first time she said she has been praying for me on this subject, I heard a whisper in my right ear with the person's name and then a split second later, his image popped in my head and a split second later, I had chills going up and down my body and right after that I was filled with the deepest peace you could imagine and it filled me from head to toe. That lasted about 4-5 hours.
I had a couple other indications but that was the biggest one.
I had a couple other indications but that was the biggest one.
So then timing is key and you should seek the Lord on when, no? He can tell us stuff and yet there is timing involved as to when we are to put into practice what we were revealed. You know, when to implement it. I don't know how active you are to be in pursuing this person, but circumstance (directed by the Lord) will make it unfold if indeed the Lord revealed this person to you as 'the one'. Time will tell.
I don't know how active you are to be in pursuing this person, but circumstance (directed by the Lord) will make it unfold if indeed the Lord revealed this person to you as 'the one'. Time will tell.
I have never loved someone as much as I love this guy so, this is all brand new to me and difficult and am trying to work things out for myself but need help putting myself in place and not letting this overcome me so much.
Well, it should give you peace that the Lord is guiding it. If He told you to not approach your friend about this just yet, it means the timing isn't right. You can have peace and confidence in this, that the Lord is faithful to His promises and what He speaks, so if He has spoken that this person and you will one day be made one, then it will come to pass. Your worrying is unfounded, and there is no need to doubt. God is faithful.
Don't allow it to emotionally drain you, but allow it to give you hope. Look at it from a positive perspective, if the Lord has spoken, you know you will be with this person in time. If anything, it should lead you to praise for God's providence. Thank the Lord in faith, and allow your gratitude to let Him know that you believe Him.
How exciting is it, that the man you love you will be with one day? That should cause you to rejoice!
Don't allow it to emotionally drain you, but allow it to give you hope. Look at it from a positive perspective, if the Lord has spoken, you know you will be with this person in time. If anything, it should lead you to praise for God's providence. Thank the Lord in faith, and allow your gratitude to let Him know that you believe Him.
How exciting is it, that the man you love you will be with one day? That should cause you to rejoice!
A
Hey. I love your story, but I want to share mine, which identical to yours. Not only do I want to share, but I want to share with you the downs and ups of each moment of it.
The Story:
I left my life for Christ, and moved to live with a youth pastor for full time ministry, while receiving no pay. During a lawn care job on my first day, I heard the Lord voice loud and clear, and he told me to look up at the window of the lady house we were working on. He then proceed to tell me, the daughter of that lady, who lives on this floor, will be your wife one day. I was super exceeding with joy, although I never seen the daughter of the lady before.
Later in time, perhaps 2-3 months after the accident, I was at church with the youth, and of course during this time, I was a youth also, 17-18 years old to be exact. There was a girl who was age 17 at the church whom I never seen before, and instantly, I knew within my soul and spirit, this was the same girl God spoke to me about. Not knowing who daughter she was, only meeting her for the first time, I knew within my heart, this was her, the girl I loved whom I never seen. A month later, it was confirmed to me by friends and church family and seeing her walk with the woman of the house I worked for, I knew instantly, I was correct, she was the daughter of this lady.
We talked, she starts to catch an interest me, and I in her. She came over and we started to somewhat spoke to each other time to time.
The Collapse:
Here where it started to fall. I left the calling God had for my life at this youth pastor house. I couldn't take the heat anymore of working for the church, for the people, I hated that place, and I wanted out. As I left, not only did the woman God had for me left with the calling, it was postponed until I come back and be ready for that specific calling God has on my life.
The return:
I return back to the Church after a great while, perhaps 6-8 months of leaving. After I returned, the girl that was going to be my wife, has already dating another man. I didn't push it, but I was clearly broken and upset. How can the woman God said will be my wife, date someone else, and have done things behind my back and to what God has called for us? Does she not know that I was going to be her husband? Why haven't Christ told her also, and why did He only told me that she was my wife?
The ending of my call:
After a great while pondering, and somewhat giving up on the whole ordeal, but yet, having in my heart the love I had for her. How much I still wanted her to be my wife, because Christ has called us together. 3 years passed, and I held to that promise. She and the boy broke up, and she came back to me. We talked again, we started hanging out after church maybe 15 minutes or so, just to have a conversation.
Christ has come:
I would wait after church to go talk her, and we would just spend time then, but during service, in the middle of the Pastor preaching, Christ came to me. And he spoke to me, and interrupted the preaching of the pastor. He said to me, "Do you want to marry her?" I told him with a cheerful and loving heart, "YES!" And right after this question, he said to me, "If you marry her, it'll be good. But if you don't marry her, you'll be great." And then he proceed to reinforce what he said so I understood clearly, "Both is good, but one is great."
My brokenness:
After what the Lord has spoke to me about, I became shattered because I gave up my life to be great, and to walk with Him. I just don't want to settle for good, I loved Christ with all my heart. And yet, I love this woman also, I wanted to marry her, I wanted her to be my wife. It tore me. And at the end of the service, I gave my answer, I said to the Lord, "I want to be great." And as I turn around to look at her, the woman I love, and wanting to talk to her after church like we usually do, she stared at me back, and walked away without a word. I knew instantly, it was over, I was crushed at the same time.
My conclusion to you:
You see, when we know in our hearts the very person God has called for us. We fall in love with that person instantly. My love for that woman was unconditional, it was like a heaven love the way God wanted us to love each other, and it only came from above. I understand how you feel about this situation, because this love is what God wanted. The problem isn't who he called for us, and how he put us together. It's us, it's you, it's him.
If both are you are not ready, Christ will not put you both together, because you are not in the will and isn't prepared to handle the things he wants for you in your life. You see, it's not on our time when he will put us together, it's on his. Your job is to love Christ, and walk with him. Learn to not give into your heart desire for another person more than you will give to God. If you can learn to trust in him through this process, you are making a claim to the Lord, that you are ready for that husband he has for you.
I don't know when and how He will put you guys together, but it will only be on his timing, and his decision. And if he doesn't put you two together, do not be upset with the Lord. He has plans beyond what we can see. God doesn't force people into feeling things for others against their own will, it will always be their choice.
Your choice should always be, "I am whole with Christ, and I don't need anything else to complete me." Once you come into this spiritual awakening, you learn what it means to abide in Him, and Him in you. Even not having a husband will not bring you down. No circumstances, no event, nothing can rob your joy, because your joy is not in or of this world. I do not know much of the subject, but I give to you my story, and my journey in life with Jesus. Take care.
The Story:
I left my life for Christ, and moved to live with a youth pastor for full time ministry, while receiving no pay. During a lawn care job on my first day, I heard the Lord voice loud and clear, and he told me to look up at the window of the lady house we were working on. He then proceed to tell me, the daughter of that lady, who lives on this floor, will be your wife one day. I was super exceeding with joy, although I never seen the daughter of the lady before.
Later in time, perhaps 2-3 months after the accident, I was at church with the youth, and of course during this time, I was a youth also, 17-18 years old to be exact. There was a girl who was age 17 at the church whom I never seen before, and instantly, I knew within my soul and spirit, this was the same girl God spoke to me about. Not knowing who daughter she was, only meeting her for the first time, I knew within my heart, this was her, the girl I loved whom I never seen. A month later, it was confirmed to me by friends and church family and seeing her walk with the woman of the house I worked for, I knew instantly, I was correct, she was the daughter of this lady.
We talked, she starts to catch an interest me, and I in her. She came over and we started to somewhat spoke to each other time to time.
The Collapse:
Here where it started to fall. I left the calling God had for my life at this youth pastor house. I couldn't take the heat anymore of working for the church, for the people, I hated that place, and I wanted out. As I left, not only did the woman God had for me left with the calling, it was postponed until I come back and be ready for that specific calling God has on my life.
The return:
I return back to the Church after a great while, perhaps 6-8 months of leaving. After I returned, the girl that was going to be my wife, has already dating another man. I didn't push it, but I was clearly broken and upset. How can the woman God said will be my wife, date someone else, and have done things behind my back and to what God has called for us? Does she not know that I was going to be her husband? Why haven't Christ told her also, and why did He only told me that she was my wife?
The ending of my call:
After a great while pondering, and somewhat giving up on the whole ordeal, but yet, having in my heart the love I had for her. How much I still wanted her to be my wife, because Christ has called us together. 3 years passed, and I held to that promise. She and the boy broke up, and she came back to me. We talked again, we started hanging out after church maybe 15 minutes or so, just to have a conversation.
Christ has come:
I would wait after church to go talk her, and we would just spend time then, but during service, in the middle of the Pastor preaching, Christ came to me. And he spoke to me, and interrupted the preaching of the pastor. He said to me, "Do you want to marry her?" I told him with a cheerful and loving heart, "YES!" And right after this question, he said to me, "If you marry her, it'll be good. But if you don't marry her, you'll be great." And then he proceed to reinforce what he said so I understood clearly, "Both is good, but one is great."
My brokenness:
After what the Lord has spoke to me about, I became shattered because I gave up my life to be great, and to walk with Him. I just don't want to settle for good, I loved Christ with all my heart. And yet, I love this woman also, I wanted to marry her, I wanted her to be my wife. It tore me. And at the end of the service, I gave my answer, I said to the Lord, "I want to be great." And as I turn around to look at her, the woman I love, and wanting to talk to her after church like we usually do, she stared at me back, and walked away without a word. I knew instantly, it was over, I was crushed at the same time.
My conclusion to you:
You see, when we know in our hearts the very person God has called for us. We fall in love with that person instantly. My love for that woman was unconditional, it was like a heaven love the way God wanted us to love each other, and it only came from above. I understand how you feel about this situation, because this love is what God wanted. The problem isn't who he called for us, and how he put us together. It's us, it's you, it's him.
If both are you are not ready, Christ will not put you both together, because you are not in the will and isn't prepared to handle the things he wants for you in your life. You see, it's not on our time when he will put us together, it's on his. Your job is to love Christ, and walk with him. Learn to not give into your heart desire for another person more than you will give to God. If you can learn to trust in him through this process, you are making a claim to the Lord, that you are ready for that husband he has for you.
I don't know when and how He will put you guys together, but it will only be on his timing, and his decision. And if he doesn't put you two together, do not be upset with the Lord. He has plans beyond what we can see. God doesn't force people into feeling things for others against their own will, it will always be their choice.
Your choice should always be, "I am whole with Christ, and I don't need anything else to complete me." Once you come into this spiritual awakening, you learn what it means to abide in Him, and Him in you. Even not having a husband will not bring you down. No circumstances, no event, nothing can rob your joy, because your joy is not in or of this world. I do not know much of the subject, but I give to you my story, and my journey in life with Jesus. Take care.
S
You should be rejoicing if you got assurance, and you have love.
Anyone or thing I've ever loved, I've lost or had taken away, (or I pushed away, either because of sin or fear or just not understanding love)
And it seems the More I loved, the more I lost and got hurt.
So now I struggle with any love at all. I admit I don't really know how, but I'm desperate FOR it, but I just figure I'm just gonna get hurt again, anyway.
How amazing it must be to actually hear from God about ANYthing, especially re: love and who you're supposed to be with! What I wouldn't give for that. I would hope to respond with, 'thank you, Lord, for that one, I cant wait for the day you bring it to pass, this is soooo great, Real Love!!!'
If He gave you that, cling to it. I figure it's a bit late for me. I try to love the Lord with all my heart, because it's His commandment, and I try not to love anything else more than Him for the same reason. Thou SHALL love God...thou SHALL NOT have any other gods (idols).
I mean, I'm glad the bible says He died for my sins, so He's worthy of my love and praise, I just think that because I 've gotten old waiting for someone, and I've messed up too many times, that I've been kind of locked out of that deep down intimate experiential knowing love that you're talking about. So please, for heaven's sake, if it's from God and you KNOW it, that it's not a trick that you'll lose out on, hold on to that gift.
Anyone or thing I've ever loved, I've lost or had taken away, (or I pushed away, either because of sin or fear or just not understanding love)
And it seems the More I loved, the more I lost and got hurt.
So now I struggle with any love at all. I admit I don't really know how, but I'm desperate FOR it, but I just figure I'm just gonna get hurt again, anyway.
How amazing it must be to actually hear from God about ANYthing, especially re: love and who you're supposed to be with! What I wouldn't give for that. I would hope to respond with, 'thank you, Lord, for that one, I cant wait for the day you bring it to pass, this is soooo great, Real Love!!!'
If He gave you that, cling to it. I figure it's a bit late for me. I try to love the Lord with all my heart, because it's His commandment, and I try not to love anything else more than Him for the same reason. Thou SHALL love God...thou SHALL NOT have any other gods (idols).
I mean, I'm glad the bible says He died for my sins, so He's worthy of my love and praise, I just think that because I 've gotten old waiting for someone, and I've messed up too many times, that I've been kind of locked out of that deep down intimate experiential knowing love that you're talking about. So please, for heaven's sake, if it's from God and you KNOW it, that it's not a trick that you'll lose out on, hold on to that gift.
This is one of the reasons why I'm so confused.
However, God has told me many things throughout the past 13 years and each has happened as he said so, why would this be any different?
One time, I had a "friend" try to tell me something, about the Bible and God. I got a strange feeling about it and the feeling didn't feel like it came from God. After I got back to my room, I prayed about it, about what the person said and then got filled with pure deep peace and I felt like God was telling me to not worry about what this person said, that it was different for all people. That's just one example and has nothing to do w/ this situation but... just wanted to state it.
However, God has told me many things throughout the past 13 years and each has happened as he said so, why would this be any different?
One time, I had a "friend" try to tell me something, about the Bible and God. I got a strange feeling about it and the feeling didn't feel like it came from God. After I got back to my room, I prayed about it, about what the person said and then got filled with pure deep peace and I felt like God was telling me to not worry about what this person said, that it was different for all people. That's just one example and has nothing to do w/ this situation but... just wanted to state it.
Yeah, it stinks to be in that place where you just flat out want reality to be different. But some advice to help you be smart even as you are in the middle of what amounts to a biochemical war on your reason (aka being in love). Character counts; you will most likely have years of regret if you marry a man whose character you cannot admire and respect. "Signs from God" are subjective; Biblical commands are not: don't ever let a "sign" lead you to ignore a biblical command. That is neither wise nor godly. My story briefly would be I knew a guy who was a complete mess with a good heart, there were several things I could have considered signs that I should be with him, we did become very close friends (and it was emotionally stressful for me at times), but now I know that I'm better off if he is never part of my life again.
The other advice I would give you is get a second (and third and fourth and fifth) opinion. If you're feeling in love, don't trust yourself to see or evaluate this guy clearly. Have him meet friends and mentors you trust and ask them for their opinions of him and how the two of you interact. Spend time with his friends and family and watch how they treat each other, that's likely how he will treat his wife. Oh and pay attention to how he treats waitresses, sales clerks, and strangers in general. If he's mean to them, he's not a nice person.
And one last thing, if he's not going anywhere and you're not going anywhere, then you don't need to resolve this right now. That's a hard one for me to swallow since I like to have things resolved and know where they are going, but if God is at work, trust him to do you good and not let you miss out on the good he's planned for you when you're earnestly trying to follow him.
Oh and unless you are officially dating, try to limit your time, especially one on one time, with this guy. It's very natural to feel attached to someone you're spending a lot of time with, but that doesn't mean there are any good reasons to love that person, just that you've gotten very used to having them as part of your life and sharing things with them. That can be a pretty difficult place for a girl to be in.
The other advice I would give you is get a second (and third and fourth and fifth) opinion. If you're feeling in love, don't trust yourself to see or evaluate this guy clearly. Have him meet friends and mentors you trust and ask them for their opinions of him and how the two of you interact. Spend time with his friends and family and watch how they treat each other, that's likely how he will treat his wife. Oh and pay attention to how he treats waitresses, sales clerks, and strangers in general. If he's mean to them, he's not a nice person.
And one last thing, if he's not going anywhere and you're not going anywhere, then you don't need to resolve this right now. That's a hard one for me to swallow since I like to have things resolved and know where they are going, but if God is at work, trust him to do you good and not let you miss out on the good he's planned for you when you're earnestly trying to follow him.
Oh and unless you are officially dating, try to limit your time, especially one on one time, with this guy. It's very natural to feel attached to someone you're spending a lot of time with, but that doesn't mean there are any good reasons to love that person, just that you've gotten very used to having them as part of your life and sharing things with them. That can be a pretty difficult place for a girl to be in.
Well, it should give you peace that the Lord is guiding it. If He told you to not approach your friend about this just yet, it means the timing isn't right. You can have peace and confidence in this, that the Lord is faithful to His promises and what He speaks, so if He has spoken that this person and you will one day be made one, then it will come to pass. Your worrying is unfounded, and there is no need to doubt. God is faithful.
Don't allow it to emotionally drain you, but allow it to give you hope. Look at it from a positive perspective, if the Lord has spoken, you know you will be with this person in time. If anything, it should lead you to praise for God's providence. Thank the Lord in faith, and allow your gratitude to let Him know that you believe Him.
How exciting is it, that the man you love you will be with one day? That should cause you to rejoice!
Don't allow it to emotionally drain you, but allow it to give you hope. Look at it from a positive perspective, if the Lord has spoken, you know you will be with this person in time. If anything, it should lead you to praise for God's providence. Thank the Lord in faith, and allow your gratitude to let Him know that you believe Him.
How exciting is it, that the man you love you will be with one day? That should cause you to rejoice!
I agree. Yes. God is faithful but, I'm a doubting Thomas. I'm a huge doubter and its just difficult for me. I've given this situation to God several times and then I was good for 1-2+ weeks and then out of nowhere, I see something and it gets me into doubting and worrying again. I realize all situations are different and sometimes, viewing the situation from my perspective just worries me because in my own eyes, i just cannot see how things will work out. But, again, our timing isn't God's timing.
I need to go back to trusting. I struggle w/ trusting God even though he's never misled me before so why would I think he'd start now and mislead me on this when to me, it's the most important thing going on in my life right now.
Thank you for the story you shared and everything else you shared as well.
It sounds like a difficult situation you were in. Sometimes I wonder if I can wait. If I can wait for a year or more. It hurts inside. I've "liked" this guy for about a year and a half. It was about 2 1/2 years ago that I had that experience and it was before I had feelings for him so it caught me off guard. But, he's with someone so, that's why now this whole thing, my doubting and everything just comes up and it hurts sometimes seeing the 2 of them together.
One of the things you said caught my attention. You said this, "If both are you are not ready, Christ will not put you both together, because you are not in the will and isn't prepared to handle the things he wants for you in your life".
If I were completely honest w/ myself, I'd have to say no I'm not yet ready to be w/ him. It hurts for me to admit it though.
I just love and care about him very very much.