here are a few of "impressions".
1. yesterday i accidentally drove my car in a ditch. it couldn't be helped. see, a goat was giving birth in my car and i was fleeing a snake that had been swimming with me in my pool. eventually, i led all the children at my church in song while we gathered around my vehicle and pushed it out of the mud.
then i decorated their faces with the dust from angel's wings and the dew of a crisp morning. later, we ate takis and and practiced looking innocent. : D
2. as i was innocently shopping for *ahem* dietary supplements, i was hit on my an 83 year old man. it really moo-shooed my pancakes! words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. funny words. silly words. angry words. questioning words.
[insert rabbit trail to to wonderland]
then, back to...MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sarcastic zinger. words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sarcastic zinger. words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sacrastic zinger.
what in the yee haw is going on? [insert amusing anecdote about toothpaste shopping] words and more words. words that are funny. now, words that say i'm ticked off. more words about 83 year old men hitting on me. more amusing anecdotal tale of the geriatric population. ; p
words and more words.
it steamed my broccoli! then, i went on a date with a guy who... are you ready for this, wouldn't STOP TALKING ABOUT CHOCOLATE! he asked me what i thought of chocolate, and then proceeded to tell me what he enjoyed most about chocolate. you better believe, he didn't get my chocolate chip cookies, but now, i can't help but wonder whether all men like to discuss chocolate on first dates. this really chars my filet!
now i wonder what everyone is thinking about when they go shopping for dietary supplements. do you shop for dietary supplements? if so, how do you feel about this? i'm beginning to wonder whether it's because i have dark hair that they think i might want to talk about chocolate? because that broils my toast! or if they think it's something that only short people like--that really braise my leg of lamb. make sure you take my poll on dietary supplements!
[insert poll with 47 creative options plus three red herrings]
3. after my last lesson, i changed into my smoking jacket and prepared my meal. with a hearty bow to the muses, thalia and julia child, i prepared for that which we know as "cooking".
eureka! with thine bare hands i transformed the merely esculent into a piquant culinary masterpiece. here are the pictures so that you can be jealous of what you didn't get to eat for dinner.
now, to attend to my bevy of crushes...
4. while i was having an unremarkable day, i stumbled into the most amazing journey that included coffee and glitter. i was just thinking, "wow, i'm bored. so i thought i'd write something that will end up being amusing and perhaps hilarious, even though it's a random thought". and after more coffee and glitter, i was thinking, "wow, that really is awesome!" and the funny thing is, it really will be entertaining because of the coffee and glitter. and because i'm actually funny.
coffee and glitter. the end.
5. i am allergic to everything but organic chocolate and coffee. and i'm incredibly lovable. but i'm kind of busy now making videos of my cat, so i'll just say, "yay for organic and vegan chocolate!".
6. meh. i make children cry, when i'm not too busy crushing the dreams of the children who aren't crying. when i get home, i'm going to shotgun a season of jem.
when i'm tired enough, i will remove my eyes.
okay, that's all for me now. imitating other folks is really exhausting, but fun. oh, and i hope no one takes offense. it was all in love and fun, because i do adore you all. : D
1. yesterday i accidentally drove my car in a ditch. it couldn't be helped. see, a goat was giving birth in my car and i was fleeing a snake that had been swimming with me in my pool. eventually, i led all the children at my church in song while we gathered around my vehicle and pushed it out of the mud.
then i decorated their faces with the dust from angel's wings and the dew of a crisp morning. later, we ate takis and and practiced looking innocent. : D
2. as i was innocently shopping for *ahem* dietary supplements, i was hit on my an 83 year old man. it really moo-shooed my pancakes! words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. funny words. silly words. angry words. questioning words.
[insert rabbit trail to to wonderland]
then, back to...MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sarcastic zinger. words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sarcastic zinger. words words words, then more words words words. more words. words and more words. MORAL OUTRAGE. and then more words. OUTRAGE. sacrastic zinger.
what in the yee haw is going on? [insert amusing anecdote about toothpaste shopping] words and more words. words that are funny. now, words that say i'm ticked off. more words about 83 year old men hitting on me. more amusing anecdotal tale of the geriatric population. ; p
words and more words.
it steamed my broccoli! then, i went on a date with a guy who... are you ready for this, wouldn't STOP TALKING ABOUT CHOCOLATE! he asked me what i thought of chocolate, and then proceeded to tell me what he enjoyed most about chocolate. you better believe, he didn't get my chocolate chip cookies, but now, i can't help but wonder whether all men like to discuss chocolate on first dates. this really chars my filet!
now i wonder what everyone is thinking about when they go shopping for dietary supplements. do you shop for dietary supplements? if so, how do you feel about this? i'm beginning to wonder whether it's because i have dark hair that they think i might want to talk about chocolate? because that broils my toast! or if they think it's something that only short people like--that really braise my leg of lamb. make sure you take my poll on dietary supplements!
[insert poll with 47 creative options plus three red herrings]
3. after my last lesson, i changed into my smoking jacket and prepared my meal. with a hearty bow to the muses, thalia and julia child, i prepared for that which we know as "cooking".
eureka! with thine bare hands i transformed the merely esculent into a piquant culinary masterpiece. here are the pictures so that you can be jealous of what you didn't get to eat for dinner.
now, to attend to my bevy of crushes...
4. while i was having an unremarkable day, i stumbled into the most amazing journey that included coffee and glitter. i was just thinking, "wow, i'm bored. so i thought i'd write something that will end up being amusing and perhaps hilarious, even though it's a random thought". and after more coffee and glitter, i was thinking, "wow, that really is awesome!" and the funny thing is, it really will be entertaining because of the coffee and glitter. and because i'm actually funny.
coffee and glitter. the end.
5. i am allergic to everything but organic chocolate and coffee. and i'm incredibly lovable. but i'm kind of busy now making videos of my cat, so i'll just say, "yay for organic and vegan chocolate!".
6. meh. i make children cry, when i'm not too busy crushing the dreams of the children who aren't crying. when i get home, i'm going to shotgun a season of jem.
when i'm tired enough, i will remove my eyes.
okay, that's all for me now. imitating other folks is really exhausting, but fun. oh, and i hope no one takes offense. it was all in love and fun, because i do adore you all. : D
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