L
London2015
Guest
am seeking advice about my almost 1 year relationship, with my 23 year old boyfriend. We have a great relationship, and have known each other as best friends for 4 years. We are both Christians and have church pastors which keep us accountable, and are very active in serving the church. I have always known that he has been attracted to men, which I had been finding increasingly difficult- worrying about his godliness and any problems that we might come across in our marriage because of this.
However, I know that all sins are equal in the eyes of God, and that Jesus has already paid the price of our Sin. Therefore, who am I to judge and say that his Sin is any less than mine? He has recently admitted to me (and i am the first person he has told) that he is also attracted to young boys of ages 7-11. Although he has never watch porn or acted up on these feelings, he still struggles.
I am deeply upset by this, as I have experienced sexual abuse when I was 7. I cannot bare the thought of him ever hurting our children, if we have any one day. Several things complicate this though. He is EXCELLENT with children, and has a true gift for teaching them. He is thinking about going into teaching primary school full time, however since this has come to light, i wonder wether this is a good idea, and if it might just be asking for trouble?
He is also somewhat immature. Coming from a home schooled family, one of 4 siblings. He doesn't want to grow up properly, and has a child like view of the world. Although I do like this aspect of his personality, I feel like I have to take care of thigns and cant fully trust him because he is so oblivious as to how the world works sometimes. I love him very much, and this is his first relationship. I want to help him grow more like Jesus, and I know that we both encourage each other in our faith everyday.
I feel like if we get married, I will have to help him grow up to be mature, as well as constantly fearing for our children. Wanting to protect them and feeling like I can't trust him with anything. In so many ways our relationship works very well. We have the same hobbies, chemistry, both want children etc. But I'm not sure that if we get married and become "one", that i will not be able to give him the support he needs in this area.
I have been told that all sin is the same. I know that logically. But been attracted to children involves a innocent, helpless child. Being jealous, or have homosexual feelings or sinning with someone of the same sex, if sin against god and the other person. I feel how ever that this sin is somehow worse, because the child in question would have no say in what is being done to them.
My question is, do you think that how I feel about this will get better with time? Do you think that our marriage would be unstable? How can I support him? Or perhaps our marriage isn't a good idea at all.
However, I know that all sins are equal in the eyes of God, and that Jesus has already paid the price of our Sin. Therefore, who am I to judge and say that his Sin is any less than mine? He has recently admitted to me (and i am the first person he has told) that he is also attracted to young boys of ages 7-11. Although he has never watch porn or acted up on these feelings, he still struggles.
I am deeply upset by this, as I have experienced sexual abuse when I was 7. I cannot bare the thought of him ever hurting our children, if we have any one day. Several things complicate this though. He is EXCELLENT with children, and has a true gift for teaching them. He is thinking about going into teaching primary school full time, however since this has come to light, i wonder wether this is a good idea, and if it might just be asking for trouble?
He is also somewhat immature. Coming from a home schooled family, one of 4 siblings. He doesn't want to grow up properly, and has a child like view of the world. Although I do like this aspect of his personality, I feel like I have to take care of thigns and cant fully trust him because he is so oblivious as to how the world works sometimes. I love him very much, and this is his first relationship. I want to help him grow more like Jesus, and I know that we both encourage each other in our faith everyday.
I feel like if we get married, I will have to help him grow up to be mature, as well as constantly fearing for our children. Wanting to protect them and feeling like I can't trust him with anything. In so many ways our relationship works very well. We have the same hobbies, chemistry, both want children etc. But I'm not sure that if we get married and become "one", that i will not be able to give him the support he needs in this area.
I have been told that all sin is the same. I know that logically. But been attracted to children involves a innocent, helpless child. Being jealous, or have homosexual feelings or sinning with someone of the same sex, if sin against god and the other person. I feel how ever that this sin is somehow worse, because the child in question would have no say in what is being done to them.
My question is, do you think that how I feel about this will get better with time? Do you think that our marriage would be unstable? How can I support him? Or perhaps our marriage isn't a good idea at all.
