6 Weeks before the wedding & now this...

[11Eleven-Bravo]

I didn't siphon through all 13 pages of posts. I read the OP's first two posts and here's my response.

I'd tell that guy to be on his way and find someone else. Seriously, that's no way for a man to treat a woman. And I'm sure you're aware of that. When was it men found it acceptable to speak to a woman in such an uncouth manner? I can't imagine the trouble I would've been in as a kid if I said something half as horrible as what this guy says to you. And his actions don't seem to deviate too far from what he says.

Honestly, a relationship that causes that sort of chaos is bound for failure. I think marrying that guy would be the biggest mistake you could make, to be frank. God Bless you and keep you in His graces soconfused2.

 

[Cindy12]

So, my SO is a doctor. He has ties to everyone in the hospital. I feel strange about the idea of going to this surgery on my own...because he will work himself in... Easily.

I am also going to ask for PM. I do not know if he's still reading here.

A doctor? Not a good one who will do bodily damage to others, especially someone he "claims" to love. Why don't you tell me the hospital he works at and his name, I'll take care of the reporting for you and you can be guilt free.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Absolutely unbelievable. She's STILL making excuses for this creep. Unreal.. smh

 

[Tintin]

SO = Son of an Ostrich.

 

[Pilkington]

Words fail me, you have been given so much good advice and you wont or can't take it.

1. Do not put your son in any more danger the way he has spoken to your son from what you have said he is capable of harming your son. A large number of violent men have killed their partners children. The way he treats his own children will be different to how he treats your son. Do not have contact with your son if he is present.

2. Report him to the police and press charges. Get a restraining order. Tough he looses his job he shouldn't have behaved the way he did our actions have consequences. What he did was not an accident!!! You owe it to yourself and others to report him.

3. Discharge yourself from hospital and go to another hospital for treatment so he wont be involved in your care.

3. A boundary has been crossed, violence will only increase here on in.

4. What if instead of grabbing the makeup bag and damaging you hand he had pushed you and you hit your head with sufficient force to cause brain damage or kill you.

5. You could have left him, not had any contact and not gone back to collect your stuff, what possessions are worth getting injured over.

I will be praying for you but you really need to stop feeling sorry for him, man up and protect yourself.

 

[blue_ladybug]

To the OP, when I speak on certain topics, such as this one, I speak with fervor and passion. I speak from firsthand knowledge and experience. Ask anybody here, I always know exactly what I'm talking about, especially if I have specific knowledge about it. I want you to look at the post AnneNoel made, where she posted the news article about what her ex did to her. HE PUT HER IN THE ICU..

Your UNsignificant other attacked you, he assaulted you and put you in the hospital. Next time he will break an arm or a wrist or very likely, smash up your face so it's ugly and mangled just like your hand is. :/ Another thing everyone here knows about me, is that I am blunt and blatantly honest with the raw truth. If I sound harsh or rude, then good!! Maybe the raw truth is what you need to wake up your naive butt and get away from this guy.

Here is the raw, ugly truth: This guy is abusive, controlling, manipulative and insane. He assaulted you, knowing dang well he was breaking your hand, yet didn't even give a crap about it. YOU are enabling his behavior by continuing to have contact with him, despite all the warnings you have received here. You are in physical danger, your son is in danger. Either you're too naive or too stupid to realize that this WILL happen again and it WILL be worse each time. Your ex-hubby saw through your lame excuse of slamming your hand in the door. Do you think he isn't gonna file for custody of your son? He knows his son isn't safe with you as long as you're with this other psycho. You're gonna no one but YOU to blame WHEN your ex takes your son from you, IF CPS doesn't take him first and put him in a foster home. :/

More raw truth: this dude doesn't love you. HE NEVER DID AND NEVER WILL. He wants ONLY to control and manipulate you, to make you his possession. To make you do what HE wants you to do. He is a dangerous man and needs extreme professional help. Someday you're gonna end up on a morgue slab, with your throat sliced, or strangled, or your head bashed in. Maybe I should post some pics of women who were beaten to death, so that you can see what you're in store for. :/ Would seeing morgue photos scare you into reporting this dude, and having him arrested?? I truly believe seeing morgue photos just might snap you back into reality.

This is a 14-page thread, and I have posted multiple times on each page. So have everyone else who replied. Some people here have even washed their hands of your situation because we keep warning and begging you to leave and you don't listen. I'm rapidly running out of compassion for you, and I know others here are too. Your refusal to listen and dump this guy truly blows my mind, and I will NOT post on here anymore, until or unless you smarten up and turn this ascot in. He deserves whatever he gets, he brought this on himself. I hate to say this, but if you return to him, then you deserve whatever he does to you next time.. Only an idiot would stay with an abusive psycho, and I'm pretty sure you're not that stupid. If you stay with this guy, prepare to lose everything: your freedom, your son, your life. :/

 

[soconfused2]

Thank you, blue ladybug and the many others here who have been SO supportive.

I am hearing your words and passion and I'm grateful for it. I just went through and read the post from the beginning again. Some of the things he says or does... I forget. That's despite how much they hurt at the time.

It's a pretty sad/riduculous situation that I am allowing. You are correct that this is my fault for standing back and just waiting to make a decision. I think my biggest problem is that I make excuses for him (as you have notated here) and that I see my own faults in the relationship...and because of that, I make concessions.

The truth is I need help ... Myself. I am indecisive, weak, low self esteem... Unmotivated.

What's so crazy is that I have NEVER been described like that before. I was a go getter. Named employee of the year...won many professional awards. I was so driven! Now, I feel like I'm drowning.

The problem here is me. I haven't gotten courage because I'm too weak. But, I am getting the courage.

I am going to believe God wants more for me. And even though it's going to be a series of baby steps...I'm going to remove myself from this toxicity.

I know I can do it....because of the stories you all have shared. Now I just have to BELIEVE I can do it.

 

[blue_ladybug]

With God, you can do anything. YOU are not the weak one here. YOU are the victim. God definitely wants better for you than what you're going through right now. God wants you to step away from this toxic relationship, and never return to it. Take a good, long look at your mangled hand. The man who lied and said he loves you, did that to you. He claims to be a christian, but his actions plainly show that he does NOT serve God. He is an imminent threat to you AND your son. I thank God your son wasn't with you the night this happened. Immunize yourself to this guy's lies and false tears. He doesn't want to get in trouble for assault, but turning him in really IS the best thing you can do for him. He WILL do this again, to you or to other women, and he may end up killing one of them. You do NOT want THAT on your conscience, knowing you could have prevented it. Protect your son. He doesn't deserve to see his mother battered and bruised. He's a smart kid, he has this guy figured out. YOU CAN DO THIS. I am living proof, so is AnneNoel and several others here. Please don't become a statistic, lying in a morgue somewhere because of this guy. You are stronger than him, and I know you're smarter than you act right now. The first steps you need to take, is to delete your current account here, and make one under a different name. Then report him to the police and press charges for assault. Change the passwords on your phone and computer. Ask a cop to go with you to get your stuff, and take the computer with you so he can't access it anymore. If you still have the engagement ring, leave it at the house when you get your stuff. For goodness sake, DO NOT go there by yourself again. Take his name off all your bank accounts. Talk to ex-hubby, tell him what happened and ask him if he can take your son while you get all this sorted out. That will be one less worry on your mind.

You CAN do this. You WILL do this. You ARE strong enough and courageous enough to do this. You need to get out of this situation as soon as possible.. Please do more than just "baby steps."

 

[soconfused2]

How do I delete this?

 

[Utah]

Delete the thread? How bout deleting the abusive boyfriend for the sake of your son.

 

[soconfused2]

I'm following the advice lady blue gave me.... As I do this.

 

[blue_ladybug]

I'm following the advice lady blue gave me.... As I do this.

Finally.. it's about time too. I'm glad you're wising up to this turkey's antics.

 

[PeterJens]

I'm following the advice lady blue gave me.... As I do this.

You are in such a sad situation. If you do not seek counselling it will continue to get worse.
Even after this violence, you still listen to him. I think you are as nuts as he is. God help your soul.

 

[Sirk]

You are in such a sad situation. If you do not seek counselling it will continue to get worse.
Even after this violence, you still listen to him. I think you are as nuts as he is. God help your soul.

Hey knucklehead....everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Calling her nuts is outa line. You don't know what her upbringing was..if she was abused as a child. Be nice buddy.

 

[Sirk]

Hey knucklehead....everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Calling her nuts is outa line. You don't know what her upbringing was..if she was abused as a child. Be nice buddy.

I wanna add to this that those of you who have chosen to call this young lady names are no better than the guy who beats her. Emotional/spiritual violence is even more insidious than physical violence. IMO

 

[blondieindahouse]

I am astounded at the lack of discernment on this thread. I suppose I shouldnt be. We are in end days where many will say Lord Lord...

 

[manu1075]

Its easy for me to say, but if I were you I would get out of there and move on.
god bless you

 

[PeterJens]

Hey knucklehead....everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Calling her nuts is outa line. You don't know what her upbringing was..if she was abused as a child. Be nice buddy.

Odd you calling me a knucklehead. If you had a friend who chose to go and do themselves harm, is your answer to say, go right ahead I can understand what you are going through?

You know what I am really saying, you do not want to admit someone may have a self harm problem and is simply not listening to good advice.

 

[soconfused2]

Yes. I understand I may sound nuts. I did grow up with emotional abuse... But, I never thought I'd be in this situation.

If someone told me this story... I would say that I'm insane for staying, too.

 

[Sirk]

Yes. I understand I may sound nuts. I did grow up with emotional abuse... But, I never thought I'd be in this situation.

If someone told me this story... I would say that I'm insane for staying, too.

Change is scary....if you stay where you are it will get harder and harder to leave. You will lose your personhood and feel like there is no where else to go. Maybe what keeps you there is thought of financial security idk....but something is keeping you there....cut ties with it. You have to set your mind on better things to come.