Interracial dating. What are your thoughts?

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Bellefemmebeni

Guest
#1
I'm black, Haitian. But I find myself attracted to mostly men of other races
I love my race and black men but for some reason. I find myself dating guys other than black men. Why? I don't know and I don't care. I was just curious. Maybe it's because I'm always interested in others' cultures?! Let me know what your thoughts and experiences are...shoot!!
 
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Faith1993

Guest
#2
hey bella, I agree with you... I believe God created us equally and for love their is no age, color or race.... I like the fact that your interested in other cultures,... good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Bellefemmebeni

Guest
#3
Thanks Faith!
 
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Faith1993

Guest
#4
thank you for sharing lovely!!!!!!!!
 
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Ugly

Guest
#5
I'm not too big on it myself. Not that I think it's wrong, it's just not how I'm wired. But I have known mixed couples that were very good for one another and were great couples. If you like it, do it. If you don't, then don't. No one decision is 'more right'. We're all built differently and with different attractions and interests. Just that simple.
 
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Bellefemmebeni

Guest
#6
I agree with you. You might not agree but I'm glad you don't look down on those who prefer it Ugly!
 
Mar 10, 2013
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#7
Interracial? No problem. Interspecies? Big problem. I figure if you stick to your own species, you will be ok! Ya i know, nobody was talking about interspecies, thats just what popped into my head ok. I just think some things are very funny.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
It's not even that I disagree. It's simply that my attraction tends to gear towards similar to me. And even culturally I am not the most diverse. The idea of a woman that fits my physical standards would be less appealing with a big cultural difference.
Not to say I would never date someone like that, it would just not be my ideal. But I've also learned that our concept of what's 'ideal' for us can change quickly upon meeting certain people.
Because underneath it all we're still God's design.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#9
The way I see it we're all one human family anyway. We can all be traced back to Adam and Eve (the first man and first woman). I don't see any problem with interracial dating. You just have to be aware that extreme cultural differences can definitely add another degree of difficulty to communicating etc. in a relationship. It really depends on the people involved. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#10
I'm hispanic, and I've only dated white guys. Lol it just happened that way. There are some cultural differences, but they were usually worked out through communication :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#11
I'm hispanic, and I've only dated white guys. Lol it just happened that way. There are some cultural differences, but they were usually worked out through communication :)
Melita, good stuff, sister. I meant the cultural differences would be more of an issue if you loved someone who hadn't lived in the same country for long or didn't live in the same country. Especially, if it were say an Indian with an Aussie.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
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#12
Did someone mention Indian? ;)

I have no problem with inter-cultural dating (in my opinion, race is only a sub-set of culture). I find it more exciting because it forces you to get out of your comfort zone. However, as Melita rightly said, communication is key. If there is a gap in communication, then it may not be a good idea. :)
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#13
Yeah for me its more cultural than anything. Another person of a different that had my same experiences/likes/ideas then thats fine
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
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#15
In my 1st relationship, there were several cultural differences even though we both grew up in the states. But since it was my 1st relationship, I had a lot of learning to do. Now that I'm in my 2nd relationship, things are a lot smoother. :)
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#16
I don't think interracial dating is wrong in any way. I also think it's natural to be attracted to certain people, depending on where you're from or how you're raised.
But at the end of the day, it's really personality that trumps over looks.

pocahontas-john-smith-close.jpg
It worked for them! Oh wait...
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
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#17
I'm open to the possibility of dating/marrying interracially, but the more important thing is "do I love her?". That has to come first; race or ethnicity is secondary. :)
 
Dec 18, 2013
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#18
I also am not attracted to women of my race.

I guess it's not much of a problem since I am single and not really looking to date anytime too soon. The only problem is my parents....

Guess I'll be single for a while longer.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,517
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#19
All of my relationships have been with guys of different races. It wasn't really due to a preference--it's just how things worked out, mostly due to location (not much cultural diversity.)

While I am all for interracial dating (or not... everyone has their own attractions, which I respect), I would try to warn anyone from going into it blindly. The "politically correct" thing to do is to hide one's prejudices, and NOTHING brings them out more intensely than an interracial relationship someone doesn't approve of.

You may find that certain members of your family and friends "don't have a problem" with people of other races... Until you announce that you're dating a member of a race they secretly don't approve of. Some cultures will also only approve of dating/marrying someone within their own race, so while communication CAN help, if someone's parents doesn't like you because you're not (insert approved race here), don't expect it to change. It COULD change, but it's likely it won't, and if you have a lot of contact with that person's family (which can also be cultural), that can be hard to take.

I've dated a couple guys who were not on the "approved" list of a few older-generation family members. I'm a bit stubborn, and I made it clear that if he was not treated well at family events, we would not be attending.

I've also been on the receiving end of this, as the person who was "not approved of", and for me, it depends. If I only had to see the family once a year, I could probably tolerate it. But if it was expected that we would attend family events every week and I experienced mistreatment because of it, there's just no way. This would have been especially true if we had kids.

I had a friend once who, like me, was adopted from Korea. Korean families typically expect that their children will marry only Koreans, and only "real" Koreans at that. Adoptees like us are not seen as being real Koreans, and not even real people (harsh, but very true among traditional Asian culture.) My friend dated a guy from a traditional Korean family who would not even speak to her or acknowledge her when she was in their presence. If she was to say anything to them, they demanded that she speak only Korean (which wasn't happening, since she was raised in the USA and knew only English.) My friend tried to give in their expectations, but ultimately, it didn't work.

I'm a bit more difficult than that. If I ever fell in love with someone from a family who treated me that way, I'd be truly torn, because I couldn't put up with that kind of treatment for long before exploding at everyone involved, even though it wouldn't change anything.
 

JonahLynx

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2014
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#20
You may find that certain members of your family and friends "don't have a problem" with people of other races... Until you announce that you're dating a member of a race they secretly don't approve of.
I've had this experience. What people really think about this issue comes out when it's not a hypothetical.
 
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