I know this doesn't entirely relate to the original post and it's question, but I've done some serious thinking lately about the whole singleness-to-marriage process and what it should or shouldn't look like.
I've wondered about all the little things that single people think about or go through when deciding on who we should marry.
Most Christians seek God's approval or His confirmation when deciding to marry someone, and I wondered, if we heard a definite 'no' or a definite 'yes' from Him, what does it sound like? Is it a lack of peace or a fullness of peace that directs us? Is it the little confirmations along the way? Is it the deepest gut feeling/the Holy Spirit's quiet whispers in the hidden places of our hearts? Is it the resounding song that is expressed from our own hearts? Is it in a scripture that hits our inner most being, or a knowing that we cannot quite describe? Is it all of the above, or some? How much confirmation is enough confirmation?
Then I asked, how do we know whether we are destined to be with one person, or whether the one we marry becomes the one, how do we know when those rules apply to us or not, what would that process look like?
Then I thought, how much do we stick to our guns as to our 'pros and cons' list, how much do we compromise? Can this be measured or can we have some sort of idea based upon each other's happiness? Or does happiness even measure the compatibility or two people? Or is it rather a state of satisfaction that defines this? Or our willingness to lovingly serve each other that acts as some measuring tool?
Then I asked, what should the pursuing and dating process look like? In regards to time spent with each other, is there a Christian rule of thumb on how quickly or slowly two people move closer to each other, emotionally, physically and spiritually? Do we completely seek Holy Spirit's leading in this, or do we tend to lean on our own church's dating culture for guidelines? I wondered how much I looked at other people's lifestyles to determine how I would act and respond.
Then I asked myself on a more personal level, where do I think I want to be when I start dating again, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally?
Just when I think I have some idea about something, I realise I really don't know much on that topic and I have so many more questions.
I don't think I'll ever entirely know unless I jump in feet first, and we'll never have it figured out until we're there, actually exploring and discovering the unknown.
So for now, in the singleness, I aim to twiddle my thumbs and play minecraft in the waiting, because both are far simpler than asking questions I can't completely answer.
