How can you tell if a guy likes you?

[DinoDillinger]

I can never just come right out and say it. Its too embarassing.

What I do is type her ame into google, find out where she lives, find out as much information about her as possible, from school records, previous places of employment, etc. then research those things in depth.

Then I subtly bring things up in conversations with her that only someone who knows her really well or someone who has done alot of background research would know.

When she realises the lengths I've gone to in order to obtain this information it becomes obvious that I like her.

Wow, no offense but that is kinda creepy, like stalker creepy. Ummm yea.....

 

[christiancollegegirl]

that's right - it can backfire

some girls are uncomfortable with being investigated

personally, i would be flattered if it happened to me.

*Googles Sharp*

 

[sportygirl]

*Googles Sharp*

I think it depends on the amount of investigation...Searching my on yahoo knowing all my past jobs schools, over board...for real. Looking at my facebook pics, or something like that, I think its ok. I know I do it when I like someone.

 

[christiancollegegirl]

Yea, I'll admit to looking up a crush on Myspace. What you post online really says alot about you.

 

[sportygirl]

Yea, I'll admit to looking up a crush on Myspace. What you post online really says alot about you.

Lol yes in really does tell you alot about a person, surprisingly! The guy I'm kind of into now is my friend on facebook, and I've looked at his myspace, I feel like a stalker, at times lol.

 

[christiancollegegirl]

Nice. I have a crush on my best friend, but I'm not sure how he feels about me anymore. Things are complicated between us righ tnow. I have him on myspace, and facebook.

 

[Sharp]

see, you all do it!!!

 

[SoLoved]

see, you all do it!!!

They are all stalkers, they just dont want to admit it...

 

[Not_The_Righteous]

If you are a man, it is not your responsibility to show signs, if you like her, ask her out! That is our job, not the woman, she can send signs that she is open to it but alot of us are bad at picking them up.

If she is single, and you can't tell if she likes you or not there is a good way to find out. Ask her.

+1.
My advice for dating - passed through me from a phenominal set of College pastors and mentors along the way.

Guys: Man up. She deserves to be led well.
Yeah, you're scared of rejection. You'll get over it and actually grow from it.

Yeah, she's cute and you think the world might end if she says no. There are lots of cute girls you'll meet and the world will not end - well, it may, but not because she said no.

Yeah, you can pretend to be her friend and try to manuever endlessly to limit your exposure and risk. But is that really honest? Godly? Fair? Honorable? Risk is part of the process and nothing ever worth having was gained with no risk. If she isn't worth you getting told "No thanks," she either isn't that important or you have some heart work to do and should remain single for now. Stop trying to "trick" her into liking you. Be a man. Ask her out.

Get a haircut and get a job. If you can't see yourself, in a reasonably short period of time, supporting a wife then don't waste her time. Be REAL friends (see above) and keep in touch and come back when your ready. It's bad for her, and you're a jerk for leading her on. And yes, you CAN do it through college/grad school if you know how to manage your house relatively well. Stop making excuses.


Never make a girl wonder. If you like her, and have started showing some interest in her - it's time to make a deciscion: Do you think there really might be something here or not? If so, it's time to tell her that you are developing feelings for her. If not, it's time to tell her that you have noticed that you've been spending time together but don't think (or don't want) a relationship beyond friendship developing. The minute you figure that out, (and you need to think about it) it's time to be honest and define the relationship. Don't lead her on and break her heart just because you are keeping your "options open." She will probably appreciate you more as a man regardless of the outcome. It's why they watch the movies the do.

Be a man of God That doesn't mean be someone who knows John 3:16 and occassionaly might be seen closing his eyes when people are supposed to be praying. Get in a biblical community (church) which holds you accountable (because God designed you to be there and you'll need it) and because it's a wonderful thing to be in a relationship with no secrets in which an entire congregation can rejoice over and help foster (since no one is an expert). Serving others in the Church is God's design for you and it will make you a better boyfriend-fiance'- and husband.

Girls: Don't fret and don't lower your standards.
Make him come to you. It's good for him. He's supposed to pursue you.Sure, if he's a worthy suitor and you're interested - make yourself avaliable and show signs. But don't do his job for him. You'll probably pay for it later on.

Make him be responsible. If he's a jobless hobo (or has a history of living off mom and dad with no aspirations or hopes for his future) - don't even entertain him as a possibility until he's got himself together. It's good for him. It's good for you - and guess what - that makes getting married (the goal of all this) actually possible so you don't get stuck in a holding pattern for 2 years while you press every boundary of physical intimacy and he finally gets tired after you've crossed more lines than you swore you ever would.

Let God take care of His plan. He's God. He's got this. He doesn't need you constantly worrying over whether or not he's "the one." Seek your satisfaction and sufficientcy in Jesus, and let God "worry" about making sure His will gets accomplished.

Don't fall for tricks. I'm a guy so let me be honest. A lot of guys are playing games with you. Maybe they know they are, maybe they don't - but what you do need to be concerned about is whether or not a guy has a heart for God that consistently shows in his daily behavior. Is he active at church? Does he do ministry and share the gospel as a matter of habit? Is he a man of character and integrity who does what he says he'll do and doesn't constantly make excuses? Look for those things. If some cute guy who doesn't meet that criteria is interested in you, be a woman above reproach and let him know (gracefully) what your expectations are. He won't be the last guy who shows interest in you, I promise. Nothing is more attractive to a godly man than a godly woman.

PS: I realize that may seem harsh when presented in text, so just to be sure - I say it all lovingly and partly jokingly. The content and advice is serious, though.

 

[sportygirl]

+1.
My advice for dating - passed through me from a phenominal set of College pastors and mentors along the way.

Guys: Man up. She deserves to be led well.
Yeah, you're scared of rejection. You'll get over it and actually grow from it.

Yeah, she's cute and you think the world might end if she says no. There are lots of cute girls you'll meet and the world will not end - well, it may, but not because she said no.

Yeah, you can pretend to be her friend and try to manuever endlessly to limit your exposure and risk. But is that really honest? Godly? Fair? Honorable? Risk is part of the process and nothing ever worth having was gained with no risk. If she isn't worth you getting told "No thanks," she either isn't that important or you have some heart work to do and should remain single for now. Stop trying to "trick" her into liking you. Be a man. Ask her out.

Get a haircut and get a job. If you can't see yourself, in a reasonably short period of time, supporting a wife then don't waste her time. Be REAL friends (see above) and keep in touch and come back when your ready. It's bad for her, and you're a jerk for leading her on. And yes, you CAN do it through college/grad school if you know how to manage your house relatively well. Stop making excuses.


Never make a girl wonder. If you like her, and have started showing some interest in her - it's time to make a deciscion: Do you think there really might be something here or not? If so, it's time to tell her that you are developing feelings for her. If not, it's time to tell her that you have noticed that you've been spending time together but don't think (or don't want) a relationship beyond friendship developing. The minute you figure that out, (and you need to think about it) it's time to be honest and define the relationship. Don't lead her on and break her heart just because you are keeping your "options open." She will probably appreciate you more as a man regardless of the outcome. It's why they watch the movies the do.

Be a man of God That doesn't mean be someone who knows John 3:16 and occassionaly might be seen closing his eyes when people are supposed to be praying. Get in a biblical community (church) which holds you accountable (because God designed you to be there and you'll need it) and because it's a wonderful thing to be in a relationship with no secrets in which an entire congregation can rejoice over and help foster (since no one is an expert). Serving others in the Church is God's design for you and it will make you a better boyfriend-fiance'- and husband.

Girls: Don't fret and don't lower your standards.
Make him come to you. It's good for him. He's supposed to pursue you.Sure, if he's a worthy suitor and you're interested - make yourself avaliable and show signs. But don't do his job for him. You'll probably pay for it later on.

Make him be responsible. If he's a jobless hobo (or has a history of living off mom and dad with no aspirations or hopes for his future) - don't even entertain him as a possibility until he's got himself together. It's good for him. It's good for you - and guess what - that makes getting married (the goal of all this) actually possible so you don't get stuck in a holding pattern for 2 years while you press every boundary of physical intimacy and he finally gets tired after you've crossed more lines than you swore you ever would.

Let God take care of His plan. He's God. He's got this. He doesn't need you constantly worrying over whether or not he's "the one." Seek your satisfaction and sufficientcy in Jesus, and let God "worry" about making sure His will gets accomplished.

Don't fall for tricks. I'm a guy so let me be honest. A lot of guys are playing games with you. Maybe they know they are, maybe they don't - but what you do need to be concerned about is whether or not a guy has a heart for God that consistently shows in his daily behavior. Is he active at church? Does he do ministry and share the gospel as a matter of habit? Is he a man of character and integrity who does what he says he'll do and doesn't constantly make excuses? Look for those things. If some cute guy who doesn't meet that criteria is interested in you, be a woman above reproach and let him know (gracefully) what your expectations are. He won't be the last guy who shows interest in you, I promise. Nothing is more attractive to a godly man than a godly woman.

PS: I realize that may seem harsh when presented in text, so just to be sure - I say it all lovingly and partly jokingly. The content and advice is serious, though.

I really like this and all the advice for girls is extremely accurate and I learned it from my past relationship, for sure. There are so many traps out there that are waiting for us to fall into and get stuck. And those are some huge ones. And the guys tricking girls into dates part I will admit that happened in my last relationship too, on some level....Thanks for the reply...I like when people take this seriously.

 

[Maddog]

Make him be responsible. If he's a jobless hobo (or has a history of living off mom and dad with no aspirations or hopes for his future) - don't even entertain him as a possibility until he's got himself together.

Heh, you know how to make a bloke who's depressed feel even worse. It's not the best news to hear that as well as being unemployed, women aren't even going to look at you. Not that I disagree with you, mind. I think you're pretty much spot on. I'd advise any lass to steer well clear of me as well...in fact I think I'm in the mindset where I actively sabotage any possible relationships with women.

Quick question: Do you not think that having a woman could be the thing that would actually motivate a bloke to get his act together?

 

[Not_The_Righteous]

Quick question: Do you not think that having a woman could be the thing that would actually motivate a bloke to get his act together?

Absolutely. But don't get into a committed relationship with someone (which ought to be aiming towards marriage) if you've habitually got no aim, plan, prospect or direction to make something out of yourself in a manner that can provide for her.

Sorry to hear about your unemployed state. I should point out that I mean to make a distinction between someone who happens to be unemployed and someone who is happy to be unemployed or without any real direction in life. A guy really ought to be the sort to be working - towards something - and moving in a positive direction in his life before he invites a woman along for the ride.

I dropped down to part-time once so I could crank out my Master's degree faster and free us up to move around the country. We (wife and I) made it work, and we were always going in a direction. That's a different thing than a guy who puts women in a holding pattern because he's enjoying prolonged adolescence.

 

[Maddog]

Absolutely. But don't get into a committed relationship with someone (which ought to be aiming towards marriage) if you've habitually got no aim, plan, prospect or direction to make something out of yourself in a manner that can provide for her.

Sorry to hear about your unemployed state. I should point out that I mean to make a distinction between someone who happens to be unemployed and someone who is happy to be unemployed or without any real direction in life. A guy really ought to be the sort to be working - towards something - and moving in a positive direction in his life before he invites a woman along for the ride.

Aye. To be honest this is a non-issue for me anyway since I have never had any intention of get into that courting game. I suppose it was just always nice to think that I was capable of aquiring and sustaining a girlfriend even if I had no intention of doing so. However, nowadays I'm pretty sure I just haven't got what it takes to get involved in a romantic relationship, which is just as well because you and I agree that someone with 'no aim, plan, prospect or direction' are men best avoided. That sums me up pretty well.

 

[Pheonix]

My problem is I've got goals and an aim, I just haven't got any money. Women are expensive these days. Even among christians women only seem to look at men with money.

 

[Sharp]

My problem is I've got goals and an aim, I just haven't got any money. Women are expensive these days. Even among christians women only seem to look at men with money.

you can find some bargains on the internet

 

[Stuey]

you can find some bargains on the internet

rofl... this is funny in so many ways.

 

[greatkraw]

+1.
My advice for dating - passed through me from a phenominal set of College pastors and mentors along the way.

Guys: Man up. She deserves to be led well.
Yeah, you're scared of rejection. You'll get over it and actually grow from it.

Yeah, she's cute and you think the world might end if she says no. There are lots of cute girls you'll meet and the world will not end - well, it may, but not because she said no.

Yeah, you can pretend to be her friend and try to manuever endlessly to limit your exposure and risk. But is that really honest? Godly? Fair? Honorable? Risk is part of the process and nothing ever worth having was gained with no risk. If she isn't worth you getting told "No thanks," she either isn't that important or you have some heart work to do and should remain single for now. Stop trying to "trick" her into liking you. Be a man. Ask her out.

Get a haircut and get a job. If you can't see yourself, in a reasonably short period of time, supporting a wife then don't waste her time. Be REAL friends (see above) and keep in touch and come back when your ready. It's bad for her, and you're a jerk for leading her on. And yes, you CAN do it through college/grad school if you know how to manage your house relatively well. Stop making excuses.


Never make a girl wonder. If you like her, and have started showing some interest in her - it's time to make a deciscion: Do you think there really might be something here or not? If so, it's time to tell her that you are developing feelings for her. If not, it's time to tell her that you have noticed that you've been spending time together but don't think (or don't want) a relationship beyond friendship developing. The minute you figure that out, (and you need to think about it) it's time to be honest and define the relationship. Don't lead her on and break her heart just because you are keeping your "options open." She will probably appreciate you more as a man regardless of the outcome. It's why they watch the movies the do.

Be a man of God That doesn't mean be someone who knows John 3:16 and occassionaly might be seen closing his eyes when people are supposed to be praying. Get in a biblical community (church) which holds you accountable (because God designed you to be there and you'll need it) and because it's a wonderful thing to be in a relationship with no secrets in which an entire congregation can rejoice over and help foster (since no one is an expert). Serving others in the Church is God's design for you and it will make you a better boyfriend-fiance'- and husband.

Girls: Don't fret and don't lower your standards.
Make him come to you. It's good for him. He's supposed to pursue you.Sure, if he's a worthy suitor and you're interested - make yourself avaliable and show signs. But don't do his job for him. You'll probably pay for it later on.

Make him be responsible. If he's a jobless hobo (or has a history of living off mom and dad with no aspirations or hopes for his future) - don't even entertain him as a possibility until he's got himself together. It's good for him. It's good for you - and guess what - that makes getting married (the goal of all this) actually possible so you don't get stuck in a holding pattern for 2 years while you press every boundary of physical intimacy and he finally gets tired after you've crossed more lines than you swore you ever would.

Let God take care of His plan. He's God. He's got this. He doesn't need you constantly worrying over whether or not he's "the one." Seek your satisfaction and sufficientcy in Jesus, and let God "worry" about making sure His will gets accomplished.

Don't fall for tricks. I'm a guy so let me be honest. A lot of guys are playing games with you. Maybe they know they are, maybe they don't - but what you do need to be concerned about is whether or not a guy has a heart for God that consistently shows in his daily behavior. Is he active at church? Does he do ministry and share the gospel as a matter of habit? Is he a man of character and integrity who does what he says he'll do and doesn't constantly make excuses? Look for those things. If some cute guy who doesn't meet that criteria is interested in you, be a woman above reproach and let him know (gracefully) what your expectations are. He won't be the last guy who shows interest in you, I promise. Nothing is more attractive to a godly man than a godly woman.

PS: I realize that may seem harsh when presented in text, so just to be sure - I say it all lovingly and partly jokingly. The content and advice is serious, though.

this is all great stuff except..................


the accountability stuff

makes it sound like every member of the church should know all my business - Nooooooooooo.

 

[Not_The_Righteous]

All of the church know all of your business? No.

Walking in some kind of accountability with a small group of brothers in Christ (and no, NOT over the internet) should be something you're into even if dating isn't the reason.

It's just good for so many reasons.

 

[JoyBelle]

Phoenix,
I think the man I'm interested in is like you. I know he has been hurt before by rejection. After much prayer and struggle against my own fears, I expressed to him that I cared for him and asked him if his behavior toward me meant anything. He said he didn't mean anything by it, but brotherly love in Christ. (I'm paraphrasing here.) I had completely given up on it, but, although he is not actively pursuing me, he has opened up more to me (talking to me more, invited me to his house w/ others, etc). He didn't give me a definite no on any interest in the future, but I don't want to push or pursue him. I am content in the Lord's will for his life and in mine, and believe that generally a man should pursue. How would you suggest I navigate just being friends and yet leaving the door open for him? I still admire and respect and care for him very much. I am happy to just be his sister,but I want him to know I am still interested. ( I have backed off because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable and to guard my own heart) Your thoughts?
Thank you

 

[JoyBelle]

+1.
My advice for dating - passed through me from a phenominal set of College pastors and mentors along the way.

Guys: Man up. She deserves to be led well.
Yeah, you're scared of rejection. You'll get over it and actually grow from it.

Yeah, she's cute and you think the world might end if she says no. There are lots of cute girls you'll meet and the world will not end - well, it may, but not because she said no.

Yeah, you can pretend to be her friend and try to manuever endlessly to limit your exposure and risk. But is that really honest? Godly? Fair? Honorable? Risk is part of the process and nothing ever worth having was gained with no risk. If she isn't worth you getting told "No thanks," she either isn't that important or you have some heart work to do and should remain single for now. Stop trying to "trick" her into liking you. Be a man. Ask her out.

Get a haircut and get a job. If you can't see yourself, in a reasonably short period of time, supporting a wife then don't waste her time. Be REAL friends (see above) and keep in touch and come back when your ready. It's bad for her, and you're a jerk for leading her on. And yes, you CAN do it through college/grad school if you know how to manage your house relatively well. Stop making excuses.


Never make a girl wonder. If you like her, and have started showing some interest in her - it's time to make a deciscion: Do you think there really might be something here or not? If so, it's time to tell her that you are developing feelings for her. If not, it's time to tell her that you have noticed that you've been spending time together but don't think (or don't want) a relationship beyond friendship developing. The minute you figure that out, (and you need to think about it) it's time to be honest and define the relationship. Don't lead her on and break her heart just because you are keeping your "options open." She will probably appreciate you more as a man regardless of the outcome. It's why they watch the movies the do.

Be a man of God That doesn't mean be someone who knows John 3:16 and occassionaly might be seen closing his eyes when people are supposed to be praying. Get in a biblical community (church) which holds you accountable (because God designed you to be there and you'll need it) and because it's a wonderful thing to be in a relationship with no secrets in which an entire congregation can rejoice over and help foster (since no one is an expert). Serving others in the Church is God's design for you and it will make you a better boyfriend-fiance'- and husband.

Girls: Don't fret and don't lower your standards.
Make him come to you. It's good for him. He's supposed to pursue you.Sure, if he's a worthy suitor and you're interested - make yourself avaliable and show signs. But don't do his job for him. You'll probably pay for it later on.

Make him be responsible. If he's a jobless hobo (or has a history of living off mom and dad with no aspirations or hopes for his future) - don't even entertain him as a possibility until he's got himself together. It's good for him. It's good for you - and guess what - that makes getting married (the goal of all this) actually possible so you don't get stuck in a holding pattern for 2 years while you press every boundary of physical intimacy and he finally gets tired after you've crossed more lines than you swore you ever would.

Let God take care of His plan. He's God. He's got this. He doesn't need you constantly worrying over whether or not he's "the one." Seek your satisfaction and sufficientcy in Jesus, and let God "worry" about making sure His will gets accomplished.

Don't fall for tricks. I'm a guy so let me be honest. A lot of guys are playing games with you. Maybe they know they are, maybe they don't - but what you do need to be concerned about is whether or not a guy has a heart for God that consistently shows in his daily behavior. Is he active at church? Does he do ministry and share the gospel as a matter of habit? Is he a man of character and integrity who does what he says he'll do and doesn't constantly make excuses? Look for those things. If some cute guy who doesn't meet that criteria is interested in you, be a woman above reproach and let him know (gracefully) what your expectations are. He won't be the last guy who shows interest in you, I promise. Nothing is more attractive to a godly man than a godly woman.

PS: I realize that may seem harsh when presented in text, so just to be sure - I say it all lovingly and partly jokingly. The content and advice is serious, though.

So good! Thank you. I copied and saved it on my computer.