Help!!!

Seekingjesus970 · Jan 10, 2016

hello my name is zack and im scared.....my wife recently moved out with our new born due to my drinking....all i want is to stay sober and become the devoted husband the loving father and the faithful christian i know i can be. however my actions never seem to match my wants. i always seem to self sabatoge and i dont know why. My wife and daughter are really the only good people i have around. other than that im surround by negative influences... i try to stay away and be by myself but i become some lonley and sad without anyone to talk with. so i choose to irriationally cope with these emotions through drugs or alcholo regretting it instantly. ive become lost in my faith because sometimes i feel like i might be evil and i dont deserve forgivness. i think the reason i might be sabatoging my life is because i feel that i am not good enough for my wife or daughter...please my fellow brothers and sisters in christ help me find the path back to the lord and back to my family. i dont know if i can make it much longer

Ugly · Jan 10, 2016

Well if you are serious get to rehab and spend a few months. Then stick with support meetings when you get out. If you're going to try and sit at home and beat this with wishful thinking and trusting in your own will power, which has already let you down, and not going outside yourself for help, then don't expect much else other than to stay the same or get worse.

-puppy- · Jan 10, 2016

Scripture says [h=1]Matthew 6:33King James Version (KJV)[/h]33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

It does not say seek drugs and alcohol. I am not condemning you I am just pointing out the difference. The difference is to seek the Lord.

1 Corinthians 10:13
[h=1]King James Version (KJV)[/h]No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Turn to scripture. Pray without ceasing ( which is scriptural ). Be repentfull ( stop what you are doing ). Believe. Give the Lord some time.

I will be praying for you all and God Bless

blue_ladybug · Jan 10, 2016

The reason why you're self-sabotaging your life is because you're an alcoholic. NOTHING will get better for you UNTIL you get professional help for your alcohol addiction. It's actually good that your wife moved out with your child. It's a bad environment for them to be in, AND them leaving will hopefully force you to seek help for yourself, so that you can get this under control and get your family back again.

MayMayMayMay · Jan 10, 2016

God bless you brother, the first steps towards healing are always in being honest with others about your struggles...admitting you need the help of God and others...and willingness to get up and fight again each day and after each slide backwards, or each setback. Keep your eyes on the goal! "Without a vision a man perishes" Post your goals everywhere on your walls, write Bible verses that encourage you and tape them up, affirmations of your faith and ... please google "who we are in Christ" and print that list out, read it each day. It will help you conquer that lie that you are not accepted by God. Seek Jesus with all your heart, His Holy Spirit will fill the holes in your heart you are trying to fill with drugs or alcohol. Keep your eyes and mind on what you are working towards. And rehab, don't quit on that! It's essential to stick with it. God bless you, I hope you keep coming back to ask for prayer!

Consumed · Jan 10, 2016

Secluding yourself and being alone is not the answer by any means. If you're not connected with a church you need to get connected to one, and you need to get together with people there who are willing to help you and talk with you. And as mentioned before, you probably need rehab. It's never going to change on it's own, you need something new.

Seekingjesus970 · Jan 10, 2016

i probably do need rehab again i was a bad herion and meth addict but quit for two years i know i can quit again but what im afarid of is that if i confide to my wife about my weakness she will kind of kick me down say that i am not a man or i am worthless and its this attitude that drives me to substance. i know there is no excuse and im going back to being sober but how do i deal with a wife that is loving sometimes but can tear me apart with her words whenever i try to express myself she says i always think about myself and i need to man up and not be so emotional but to be honest when she says these things it kills me because if the love of my life hates me i dont know what to fo

Seekingjesus970 · Jan 10, 2016

and im scared she will leave me if she knows ive used again. i cant lose her were going through rough time right now with newborn but she is the only person to ever make me happy

kaylagrl · Jan 10, 2016

Seekingjesus970 said:

First of all none of us is worthy of saving,that is there is nothing in us. But when Jesus died His blood made us worthy. I understand your feelings of unworthiness, I struggle with that too.When we feel this way we give up on life and ourselves.God doesn't want you to live this defeated life. Satan is taking your joy and peace and its time you started taking it back with Gods help.

You need to go to AA. You also may need counseling with your wife but you cant do that under the influence of alcohol.So you need to get rid of that first. I believe if your wife sees you getting serious about your addiction she will possibly return.But you need to get out of this hole you've dug for yourself.You need to get clean and on the road to recovery. Dont let satan keep telling you you aren't worthy. He wants to destroy you and your family. God loves you where you are,in all of your mess,He wants the best for you. Accept His forgiveness,walk with Him and he will heal you and your family.Blessings.

Dan_473 · Jan 10, 2016

Seekingjesus970 said:

this to me sounds like a good issue to talk to a trusted counselor about. you're not alone in feeling that way.

you've said you have a substance abuse issue. that's a great start, talking about it. I encourage you to go to places where you can have more opportunities to hash this out with supportive people (like 12 step programs).

and may God be with you!

coby · Jan 10, 2016

Seekingjesus970 said:

Also go for inner healing and deliverance in a good ministry. People just are like that, but God can heal you and then it will get better also with your wife. Praying for you. He can make you happy. You don't need alcohol. The Holy Spirit can comfort you better.

ForthAngel · Jan 10, 2016

Seekingjesus970 said:

The fact that your sins hurt you so much is a good sign. An unrepentant heart would feel no real level of guilt or shame as you seem to express. At least you admit you have a problem. I agree with Ugly and others about rehab. You could consider a crisis treatment center if you are seriously endangering yourself with your habits. I've been in rehab and crisis treatment, and you will often find a good source of Christians friends (by way of staff or volunteers).

One thing I would suggest though is if you do go to rehab or crisis treatment, it would be best not to hang out a lot with others that there for the same reason once you get it out. Unless they are fully recovered and depending on the setting, this can just cause you to feed off each other and cause more relapses.

Some time alone actually helped me. I know others are different in that regard. But try your best to surround yourself with positive influences. Do you have a church family?

popeye · Jan 10, 2016

Uh,go to some funeral home and offer a meth addict some meth.

You could camp there and beg him for a week and just waste your time.

Everybody is offering band aids.

Wanna be a Christian man?

Die. That is why Jesus and Paul said DIE DAILY.

You have it backwards. You are serving two masters.

You have two thrones inside you .

How do we die? By a LIFESTYLE of denial.

Walk to the next town in one step. CAN'T HAPPEN. You need lots of little steps.

blue_ladybug · Jan 10, 2016

popeye said:

The red bolded above makes absolutely no sense. Kinda hard to offer meth to a DECEASED meth addict. :/

I do get where you're going with the rest of your post though.

purpose · Jan 10, 2016

A.A and a 90 day rehab program and the wanting and willingness and with the Grace of God! I am very grateful to this day! Being clean and sober changed my life! you can do it brother I have faith in you! Love&Prayers

Dino246 · Jan 10, 2016

Hello SeekingJesus970... and welcome to CC!
I can't speak from experience as some of the other responders can, but I do know that God can and will set you free.

Seek Him constantly. Ask Him specifically to convict you. His conviction is like surgery; painful, but necessary, and He knows what He is doing. His conviction brings the inner change that you need.

Ask God to reveal your junk: the hurts, the lies you've been believing, the sins which you have committed unwittingly. Ask Him to forgive, heal, cleanse and free you.

With regard to your wife and child, don't try to get back together with them right away, but once you actually start the process of recovery, let your wife know that you are getting help. When the time is right, acknowledge and own your wrongdoing to her fully, openly and humbly.

Trust God above all else. He is good, and powerful... much more powerful than your addictions or sins.

popeye · Jan 10, 2016

God would never save you and leave you alone or powerless.

What you do is examine your walk,not your life.

Put God back in his throne,in your heart,and put him first.

All addicts take care of themselves above all others.

Christianity is dying,then resurrecting as a new creation. Born again.

But he did not rebirth you to live selfishly. That is where you die. You die to everything but God/Jesus.

Now you live for him. You pick up cross DAILY and renounce all your selfish plans and ambitions,cravings ,desire,etc.

The way it works is,you do the little baby steps first,in the RIGHT DIRECTION, he supplies the power to live for him. live victorious. Live free.

You want bondage? Ruined life? Sad,defeated life? Easy,just use the sae formula you been using.

You want a full victorious life? You renounce everything. Repent,start over in HONESTLY giving it all up to him. DIE DAILY.

Watch him work. because the key to victory is your ability to follow him a step at a time.

Once you ALIGN, he supplies the ability.

You abide in him. You stop living for you.

You give up your life for Jesus and that child of yours.

popeye · Jan 10, 2016

You also will need to deal with the demons you allowed into your life.

Find a deliverance ministry in your area and let them evict those trespassers in your life.

Crustyone · Jan 10, 2016

I am a little confused by your original post and your #8 post. Your wife left you with the newborn and in #8 you say that you are afraid that she "will" leave you. Your wife did a good thing for you by leaving your home, but not your life, if I read those posts right. Still she should not be putting you down, but encouraging you by either telling you that you can quit and she will help and or supporting a decision to go to rehab. God would be encouraging you if you are reading His word as often as you can. I suspect that you feel embarrassed to come to Him in prayer as well. I didn't read His word and I was embarrassed to pray to Him, because I knew He was disappointed in me, although not for the same reason. He is your Father. He loves you and wants to help you. I don't know what your earthly father is like, but I hope he loves you and shows it. If so, God loves you even more. Pray to Him.

The travails of Paul may help you realize that God does not expect us to be perfect, but only to try. Romans 7:14-25. I will leave this for you to look up in your bible, because you need God to talk to you and the only way He will is through His word. May God bless and help you.

Crustyone · Jan 10, 2016

I would like to apologize to seekingjesus970. It sounds like I don't believe you are praying and reading the bible. That was meant as an if situation. By the way, if you have lost jobs because of your problem and are unemployed now, then you need to try to find even a minimum wage job, it will help with self esteem when you get one. Being able to bring money in is always an ego boost and it sounds like you need to feel better about yourself.

Help!!!

Seekingjesus970

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