Sometimes I get so lonely I want to cry...

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Raspjam

Guest
#1
#1
I have not posted a thread, not sure if I am doing it right.... so, here we go...

Don't get me wrong, I know the Lord is to be enough...I am human, I can be weak (I'm not always but weaknesses are part of us as humans whether we like it or not). I do have friends and family but don't get to see or talk to them much, as they have their own families. But, of course, that's a totally different relationship then What I am lonely for. My kids are leaving the nest, only one left at home. I just get so extremely lonely sometimes. Other times I am perfectly happy, but during those times of loneliness... well, it just sucks. Anyone else relate? I read my Bible and spend time in prayer and worship ... it helps but it's just kind of always there. Some times are worse than others.
 
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Raspjam

Guest
#2
#2
Please remember... this is suppose to be a supporting one another thing. I am going out on a very thin limb and sharing deep parts of my heart with complete strangers (odd thing to do maybe, Haha )... however you are suppose to my brothers and sisters in the Lord, so please be kind. Thanks :)
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#3
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#3
Hello Raspjam, First of all, welcome to CC and thank you for opening your heart and sharing these things with complete strangers. I am sorry to hear that you are having these feelings of loneliness.

I have not been in an identical situation, but I have been through a similar one. When I broke up with my ex a year ago, it was a tough phase for me. I was feeling extremely lonely and, even though I had friends and family, I felt that there was none that I could talk to. Though it was a good opportunity to get closer to God and to feel more of His comfort, I still felt something missing. After a few days, I decided that the best thing that I could do was to spend time on myself. I hit the gym and I started working out. I also got back to playing my guitar. Eventually, I was able to shut down those feelings of loneliness and in the process, I was also able to improve my overall well-being.

Do you have some activity that you can take up around you? Does your schedule permit it? I know that in India, some housewives keep themselves occupied by taking up jobs like part-time tutors for students, brokers in the stock market, freelance writers and artists, etc. Others hit the gym, organize get togethers and participate in outdoor activities.

There may be many options. You just have to find the right one for you. :)
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#4
#4
Hello Roh_Chris, Thank you for your welcome! And for your care. It is a difficult situation to be in, I hear you on that. I do have a job, and I do have hobbies... I too play guitar and piano and very much enjoy doing so, I also have other hobbies during the warmer seasons. I have a very close relationship with the Lord but still am using the time to continue to grow and learn and seek Him.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#5
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#5
Raspjam said:
I have not posted a thread, not sure if I am doing it right.... so, here we go...

Don't get me wrong, I know the Lord is to be enough...I am human, I can be weak (I'm not always but weaknesses are part of us as humans whether we like it or not). I do have friends and family but don't get to see or talk to them much, as they have their own families. But, of course, that's a totally different relationship then What I am lonely for. My kids are leaving the nest, only one left at home. I just get so extremely lonely sometimes. Other times I am perfectly happy, but during those times of loneliness... well, it just sucks. Anyone else relate? I read my Bible and spend time in prayer and worship ... it helps but it's just kind of always there. Some times are worse than others.
Click to expand...
Rasp, welcome to CC, I'm so glad you're here with us. Yes, I know how you feel! I have one gone and one leaving the nest soon, and it's a little scary to think about what life will be like then. I know, and you know, that God has this already planned out, and that he LOVES us and he knows our needs and wants to bless us. But there are still those moments when you feel very alone. Boredom is my enemy. Try to keep yourself busy when you feel it coming on. Get out there and find some hobbies, take dancing lessons, join a softball team, get involved in a small group at your church. (Post here on CC!) Meet other single people. You don't need to date, but singles are often also yearning for relationships and fellowship, so they may be less distracted than friends and family who you don't see as often. I know it's not the same as having that special someone, but it does help. *hug*
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#6
#6
Hi sister! It's nice to see you on here. I hope you enjoy the site.

I think I know how you feel. I don't have very many friends and my family is always busy doing their own thing. It can get really lonely sometimes. It brings me down. But I've realized that there are a few things we can do to change our feelings of loneliness.

Here are some tips that have helped me
- Prayer, talking to God always helps
- Reading the Bible (just like you mentioned)
- Stop negative thinking and don't let your emotions run wild (nip those sad and depressing thoughts at the bud, you can control your emotions) If you keep entertaining bad thoughts, they will negatively affect your emotions and mood.
- Try to think positively by reading, watching, and doing good things. I've noticed that when I help at the nursing home I come out of there renewed and really happy that I was able to bring a little joy to some of the elderly. If you are soon to be an empty nester, I suggest you go out and start volunteering. It's amazing to help others because it brings out joy within you too! It makes you feel loved, needed, and important...because you are!

I hope this helps you. I also hope you can join us more often. I'm sure you'll make lots of friends on here! It's a very fun environment. :D
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#7
#7
Thank you Grace! Your welcome was very welcoming! :) sorry that you deal with this as well, but... it is comforting to know you're not alone (no pun intended Haha... ) Ya, it's just hard to fill the time after a 20 year marriage ends and then kids have to go and get all "growed" up. I am happy they are spreading their wings, don't get me wrong, it just happens so fast. Boredom is also my enemy. I wish there were some people I could just call up and and say, Hey want to hang out tonight? But, alas...
I know the Lord will hold me, and does hold my future and loves me. He will provide something, someone... in His timing, to fill that need. It's just hard in the mean time. I suppose as I am writing this even, my mind goes to James 1:2-4... "consider it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But, let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete and lacking in nothing." . That being said, it's still hard.
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#8
#8
MollyConnor said:
Hi sister! It's nice to see you on here. I hope you enjoy the site.

I think I know how you feel. I don't have very many friends and my family is always busy doing their own thing. It can get really lonely sometimes. It brings me down. But I've realized that there are a few things we can do to change our feelings of loneliness.

Here are some tips that have helped me
- Prayer, talking to God always helps
- Reading the Bible (just like you mentioned)
- Stop negative thinking and don't let your emotions run wild (nip those sad and depressing thoughts at the bud, you can control your emotions) If you keep entertaining bad thoughts, they will negatively affect your emotions and mood.
- Try to think positively by reading, watching, and doing good things. I've noticed that when I help at the nursing home I come out of there renewed and really happy that I was able to bring a little joy to some of the elderly. If you are soon to be an empty nester, I suggest you go out and start volunteering. It's amazing to help others because it brings out joy within you too! It makes you feel loved, needed, and important...because you are!

I hope this helps you. I also hope you can join us more often. I'm sure you'll make lots of friends on here! It's a very fun environment. :D
Click to expand...
Thank you Molly,
Thanks for your welcome. Thanks for your input as well. Yes, helping can be very uplifting. I am a personal support worker, that's my job to help the elderly. I thoroughly love it, even though it has it's very trying times. I do need to work on asking God to help my mindset when I feel this way. Sometimes I feel this way and then the next day I'm happy. It's usually just at night... and maybe only once or twice a week but even if it's not everyday, it's hard.
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#9
#9
Raspjam said:
Thank you Molly,
Thanks for your welcome. Thanks for your input as well. Yes, helping can be very uplifting. I am a personal support worker, that's my job to help the elderly. I thoroughly love it, even though it has it's very trying times. I do need to work on asking God to help my mindset when I feel this way. Sometimes I feel this way and then the next day I'm happy. It's usually just at night... and maybe only once or twice a week but even if it's not everyday, it's hard.
Click to expand...
Also... little house on the prairie has become a big pick me up. It's wholesome and uplifting... :)
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#10
#10
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Rasp, welcome to CC, I'm so glad you're here with us. Yes, I know how you feel! I have one gone and one leaving the nest soon, and it's a little scary to think about what life will be like then. I know, and you know, that God has this already planned out, and that he LOVES us and he knows our needs and wants to bless us. But there are still those moments when you feel very alone. Boredom is my enemy. Try to keep yourself busy when you feel it coming on. Get out there and find some hobbies, take dancing lessons, join a softball team, get involved in a small group at your church. (Post here on CC!) Meet other single people. You don't need to date, but singles are often also yearning for relationships and fellowship, so they may be less distracted than friends and family who you don't see as often. I know it's not the same as having that special someone, but it does help. *hug*
Click to expand...
Also... just wondering, how does one go about just finding other single Christian people? There isn't really any in my church.... and thanks for the hug! :)
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#11
#11
MollyConnor said:
Hi sister! It's nice to see you on here. I hope you enjoy the site.

I think I know how you feel. I don't have very many friends and my family is always busy doing their own thing. It can get really lonely sometimes. It brings me down. But I've realized that there are a few things we can do to change our feelings of loneliness.

Here are some tips that have helped me
- Prayer, talking to God always helps
- Reading the Bible (just like you mentioned)
- Stop negative thinking and don't let your emotions run wild (nip those sad and depressing thoughts at the bud, you can control your emotions) If you keep entertaining bad thoughts, they will negatively affect your emotions and mood.
- Try to think positively by reading, watching, and doing good things. I've noticed that when I help at the nursing home I come out of there renewed and really happy that I was able to bring a little joy to some of the elderly. If you are soon to be an empty nester, I suggest you go out and start volunteering. It's amazing to help others because it brings out joy within you too! It makes you feel loved, needed, and important...because you are!

I hope this helps you. I also hope you can join us more often. I'm sure you'll make lots of friends on here! It's a very fun environment. :D
Click to expand...
I just wanted to add, my heart goes out to you, when you feel this way. My heart goes out to you that you do not have much family around you. I will remember to pray for you. I use to do a lot of volunteering when I was married, as I had more time. Now that I work to support myself and kids, well... time is harder to come by, at the appropriate times one would need for volunteering. But, I do agree, it does definitely lift the spirit to help others!
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#12
#12
Hi Raspjam! It makes of melancholy to hear about your struggling with loneliness (I have experienced this at times also), and there's no shame in reaching out here. If your confidence in Christ helps, I'm glad for you! Spiritual reassurance doesn't ever seem to be a substitute for a friend, companionship, or a confidant, though.

All my best to you, and I hope to see you around this site more.

P.S - The dog in your avatar is adorable! Is it yours?
 
D

DCrawshawJr

Guest
#13
#13
Raspjam said:
Also... just wondering, how does one go about just finding other single Christian people? There isn't really any in my church.... and thanks for the hug! :)
Click to expand...
One person I talked to in Bible study mentioned networking and asking around. Not necessarily looking, since I've been told countless times that it doesn't work (but that's for another thread), but letting people you trust know that you're available. After praying to Jesus about it, the next best thing is to network with other people, single or otherwise.

If I could, I'd hug you right now, because even I could use one now and then.
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#14
#14
Siberian_Khatru said:
Hi Raspjam! It makes of melancholy to hear about your struggling with loneliness (I have experienced this at times also), and there's no shame in reaching out here. If your confidence in Christ helps, I'm glad for you! Spiritual reassurance doesn't ever seem to be a substitute for a friend, companionship, or a confidant, though.

All my best to you, and I hope to see you around this site more.

P.S - The dog in your avatar is adorable! Is it yours?
Click to expand...
Hello Siberian, I appreciate your heart of sympathy. I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned companionship. I do find that the Lord meets many needs even on a personal heart level. I know this because I experience it... and He gives me joy. He is a friend and confidant... but companionship, people to connect with...or the lack thereof, is what I find lonely. I guess I figured this was the place to get some feed back, as it is a Christian site... AND a singles forum... who better would know loneliness. You can try to explain loneliness to married people but they may not really understand.
Even Jesus was lonely, of course He was dealing with a much more daunting issue... He had the Father, but when his disciples could even stay awake for him, He was hurt by that. He just needed to know they were there for Him... of course they failed miserably... as we all know the story... but, He needed His special people too. He was in communion with the Father, but He still needed the support of people. Life is about relationship... relationship with Christ and the Father and Holy Spirit... relationship with people... relationship with ourselves.
There is a difference though between loneliness and depression... I am not feeling depressed... but at times Yes, I experience that loneliness.
I know... long reply... Haha sorry about that... :)
To answer your question, Yes she is a real cute dog (puppy) and she is my dog. She's a little bigger now... just about to turn 5 months old. And Thank you I concur, she is adorable in looks and character. :)
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#15
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#15
Many of us know the feelings you're enduring, Sister. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Enjoy your time alone, but when you're feeling lonely, get out and be active. Join singles clubs that involve group activities bike riding, getting together for lunch, book clubs and things like that. Many prayers lifted that God will deliver your heart's desire. :)
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#16
#16
DCrawshawJr said:
One person I talked to in Bible study mentioned networking and asking around. Not necessarily looking, since I've been told countless times that it doesn't work (but that's for another thread), but letting people you trust know that you're available. After praying to Jesus about it, the next best thing is to network with other people, single or otherwise.

If I could, I'd hug you right now, because even I could use one now and then.
Click to expand...
Hello DCrawshaw, Thank you for your heart and your input! I appreciate your "hug", we all need hugs from time to time... so I I'd give one right back. God bless you!
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#17
#17
Utah said:
Many of us know the feelings you're enduring, Sister. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Enjoy your time alone, but when you're feeling lonely, get out and be active. Join singles clubs that involve group activities bike riding, getting together for lunch, book clubs and things like that. Many prayers lifted that God will deliver your heart's desire. :)
Click to expand...
Thank you Utah! Yes, big difference between being alone and lonely. I appreciate your input! I will look into that, I don't know if they have singles clubs here.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#18
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,104
113
#18
Raspjam said:
Please remember... this is suppose to be a supporting one another thing. I am going out on a very thin limb and sharing deep parts of my heart with complete strangers (odd thing to do maybe, Haha )... however you are suppose to my brothers and sisters in the Lord, so please be kind. Thanks :)
Click to expand...
Hi Raspjam! Welcome to cc.

In one sense we are strangers, but in another we are truly brothers and sisters in Christ. So with that in mind I'd like to say thank you for trusting us with your confidence. A new family came to our Bible study group last night that we only saw and never knew. Yet they fit right in immediately with us and felt comfortable right away. This can only be done because of the bond we have in Jesus.

I pray in His name that He will work ALL things to your good and His Glory.
 
R

Raspjam

Guest
#19
#19
PennEd said:
Hi Raspjam! Welcome to cc.

In one sense we are strangers, but in another we are truly brothers and sisters in Christ. So with that in mind I'd like to say thank you for trusting us with your confidence. A new family came to our Bible study group last night that we only saw and never knew. Yet they fit right in immediately with us and felt comfortable right away. This can only be done because of the bond we have in Jesus.

I pray in His name that He will work ALL things to your good and His Glory.
Click to expand...
Thank you Penn for your welcome! Yes, it truly is amazing how when you are amidst true believers, you automatically connect, as you share a common ground of great magnitude. I am Happy for that new family, that they were able to feel at home! Thank you for your blessing!! May God also bless you!
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#20
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#20
Raspjam said:
Hello Roh_Chris, Thank you for your welcome! And for your care. It is a difficult situation to be in, I hear you on that. I do have a job, and I do have hobbies... I too play guitar and piano and very much enjoy doing so, I also have other hobbies during the warmer seasons. I have a very close relationship with the Lord but still am using the time to continue to grow and learn and seek Him.
Click to expand...
That's great to know! Since you have a job and that you have some hobbies, you wouldn't feel lonely most of the time. Perhaps you can follow Utah's suggestion and look at participating in some group activities in your neighbour. Participating in such activities will give you an opportunity to make friends, and will drive away the feelings of loneliness.

Cheer up, it's going to be great :)
 
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